Remembering Egypt

And Moses said to the people: “Remember this day in which you went out of Egypt, out of the house of bondage; for by strength of hand the LORD brought you out of this place." Exodus 13:3

This verse, early in the book of Exodus, is Moses' reminder to the Israelites not to forget that God had freed them from slavery. The nation of Israel, though wandering in a desert, was a free people. Like the Israelites, I was once in bondage - to depression. God brought me out of my depression and set me free.

Eight years ago today, the meaning of 9/11 changed forever. When the Twin Towers and Pentagon were attacked by terrorists, America stood still. So many people lost their lives, leaving families and loved ones left behind to mourn, pick up the pieces and rebuild. My life was shattered. I didn't know anyone who died or was injured or even who lost a family member. I had never been to New York or seen the Twin Towers. Yet, the moment those planes struck, I was torn to shreds. I plunged into a depression deeper than anything I could imagine. I didn't clean house, cook dinner, or spend time with my kids. I spent weeks curled up in bed, covers pulled up around my chin, and had no energy to do anything. My four year old sat, hour after hour, in front of the television. I was failing as a wife and as a mom. Long after others put this tragedy behind them and moved on with living, I just couldn't.

A couple months after 9/11, we finally made our way to a church whose pastor preached about love, hope and second chances. I had believed in God my whole life. I knew Jesus had suffered and died on a cross for my sins. I knew the Bible stories of Noah, Jonah, "Father Abraham," and foolish King David dancing in the streets... and so many others. What I didn't understand was the real depth of His love for me - for all of us.

God's love is more than we can grasp. He sent a blameless Son to live a blameless life and die an undeserved death on a cross as a substitute for my own sin. I believed it. But I didn't really accept it. How, in the midst of terror, chaos, or our own stupidity do we understand?

None of us can love as deeply as God. Rather, we must choose to accept His love. We can open our heart in faith, walking like Peter on the water, one step at a time, looking to God for strength and confidence. We can simply accept that our own failures don't matter to Him - He just wants us to love Him. In return for simple love, He gives us His never-failing love, hope, and a second chance. He wipes our mistakes from His memory and reassures us that He will always be there. He fills us with hope that life will be okay. Regardless of the hurdles we face, He will see us through to the end. He offers second chances. And third, and fourth, and fifth...

When I walked into church that Sunday morning after 9/11, God was there waiting. He had provided the perfect sermon to touch my heart. A faithful pastor preached that message, not even knowing at the time that it was for me.

Today, I remember the 9/11 tragedy. I remember my own heartbreak as the towers fell and my despair in the weeks that followed. I remember the fear, the hurt, the loneliness. But more, I remember how I felt that day when I walked into church - the day my life changed forever. I carried in my incredible pain, and I left with hope restored. God gave me a second chance.

Father God, I thank you for your love for me. Thank you for the pastor and sermon that led to the healing of my heart. Thank you for never forgetting about me, even when I ignored you. I lift up each person whose life is still impacted by 9/11 and ask that you would continue to bring healing into their lives. Be with our military and their families as they continue to serve. I lift up our country. I remember my personal "Egypt" and thank You for setting me free from bondage. In your son's name I pray. Amen