It's not about whether you win or lose...

...It's how you play the game. So true.

We have one life to live. One opportunity to make a difference. One chance to impact the generation that follows.

Ben's football game this past weekend was a bit lopsided. Lopsided is an understatement. These kids did not play "on a level playing field" in any way. The final score, us 41 - them 0, reflected that imbalance. The game illustrated, all to clearly, how significantly one generation impacts the next.

Our coaches prepared our kids for the game, and it showed on the field. Yet, they prepared the boys for so much more. And that's what really stood out Saturday night.

The team, as always, respected the coaching staff and other players. Our coaches don't give them any other option. The starters, who didn't get much playing time, didn't complain. Our boys didn't celebrate repeated touchdowns, but just did what they were trained to do, with class and dignity. A couple times, they lined up off-sides, instructed by the coaches, just to give the other guys a break. They played hard, but they didn't play mean. After the game, they didn't revel in the big shutout (even though an opponent a couple weeks earlier went crazy after shutting our team out). Rather, they learned to be considerate, kind, and respectful - important values for any generation.

Our kids' experience contrasts so vividly with what the other team learned. Throughout the game, their coach yelled and screamed. Not encouragement or correction, either, but mean words to tear kids down. Partway through the third quarter, after another failed drive, the coach came onto the field and ordered his players to drop and give him 20 push ups. Right there, in the middle of the field with the clock ticking down. My stomach knotted in pain for their humiliation before their peers. The referees then addressed something with the coach, and he ran across the field, cussing them out. Again in front of both teams. He got ejected from the game, handling that poorly as well.

How could two groups of kids, playing the same game in the same league, have such different experiences? After all, coaching football involves the same three elements, no matter where you play: conditioning, learning plays, learning technique. Everyday life throws in the intangibles: character, perseverance, honor, and respect. It's up to each coach how much of that to teach.

My heart still breaks for the other team. They didn't get much coaching, and they certainly didn't learn how to live life, not a valuable one anyway. Where will those guys end up? Growing up is already so hard. Why does their "coach" insist on making it so much harder?

How about me? Or you? What obstacles do we put before kids without intending to?

Today, God, I ask that you show me when I am judgmental of my kids' efforts. Please remind me to have patience when I want to rush. Help me understand my children better, so that I can raise them the way You would if You were here. Help me remember how dangerous my words can be, and guard my tongue against them. God, please don't let me forget the illustration you provided at Saturday night's game, but instead, let me continue to learn from it. Thank you for Ben's football coaches and for all the great adults you have put in my children's lives. Let me be one too. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen