Happy Family

Happy Family, a Chinese culinary recipe... YUM! Chicken, onions, peppers, stir fry vegetables, and a sauce made from sugar, starch and soy sauce. A little sweet. A little spicy.

Lately, I've been thinking about what it takes to have a happy family. What's the recipe for that?

1. Have an attitude of gratitude. Living together with the same people day in and day out can get predictable - and annoying. I certainly find myself grumping about little things from time to time. Instead, I think we should choose to be thankful for the blessings we do have. Take time to remember why we fell in love in the first place (It's fun to remember the early days). Take time to notice the little things done for each other and say thanks! It's easy, maybe even natural, to let things become annoying. With a little practice, though, it's just as easy to choose to recognize the good things.

2. Keep it simple. In today's world kids have so many options. Adults too. Our family has chosen to "keep it simple." Our kids have many interests, but they can lead to schedule conflicts. We only allow one at a time. While it's not easy to decide, in the long run, we all benefit. Nathan, our oldest, has participated in piano competitions for years. He really enjoys it. But, that schedule conflicts with the high school band competition schedule.

Last year, we tried both (the band excused him from the scheduling conflict, which helped). It was still crazy! This year, we made him choose one. He had to weigh the benefit of each, the overall experience and make a decision. Not an easy process, but one learned young that will help him as he ages.

At the same time, it helps our family maintain our sanity. We stay balanced. We enjoy life together.

3. Celebrate, often! We celebrate all sorts of stuff in our family. Whenever some part of our family travels, the first night home, we celebrate - nothing fancy. A special dessert or dinner out or a rental movie together. We celebrate little accomplishments. Ellie learned to tie her shoes. Picture time! Pause life to celebrate her accomplishment for a couple minutes.

Of course it's great to celebrate the holidays, but most of life happens during the in between time. We try not to miss the in between, but instead, to appreciate it.

4. Pay attention. A happy family knows each other. They listen over dinner. They pay attention to the little things, like stress at work or a tough day at school and extend a bit more grace to those who need it. They know what makes the other members of the family happy and try to provide it. It really is the little things that count, but without paying attention, we can't know what the little things are.

It's a simple recipe really, based on love and respect. Delicious!