Wishing you Peace in the New Year

This past year has been a great one for our family. My boys are so grown up. Our daughter is finally settling in to her own skin, so to speak. My husband's job remained stable. I rediscovered my love of writing (hence this little blog). How can 2010 top all that?

If I am honest - which I try to be, with myself and with others - the one area in my life where I most struggle is peace. True "abiding" peace. I would love to stop doubting myself. Those conversations in my head get pretty harsh sometimes. I would love to parent without regret. You know, those moments when I do one thing, knowing full well that I should be doing something else (like mid-scream wishing I could suck it all back in).

Our pastor preached on the Prince of Peace this past weekend. (See Isaiah 9:6-7) In the original Hebrew, prince is sahr, which means lord, overseer, prince. Peace is shalom, which means peace, wholeness, or complete rest. So, the prince of peace is the Lord of Wholeness. I like that!

I always imagined peace as something I can feel - a "sense" of calm deep within me. Yet, I know that life includes trouble. God has even let us know that in this life, there will be trouble. (See John 16:33) In that same verse, though, He tells us we can have peace, because He has overcome the world. Imagine the troubles of life being like a rainstorm. God's promise of peace is like the umbrella, protecting us as the storms rage around us.

When the kids drive me crazy, instead of adding thunder and lightning to the storm by raging at them, how wonderful it would be to stop, put up the umbrella of God's peace (by praying for wisdom in the situation), and then walk into the storm under His protection. I can "feel" that peace as I write.

What if, when my head fills with negative self-talk, I stop and pray, asking God to fill my thoughts with His Word? With the truth? Wow! Transformation. The storm would cease. Instantly. Jesus did that for the disciples. In a boat, they were caught in a storm. Jesus slept right through it, until they panicked and screamed for help. He woke up and with a simple command, the storm ceased (Matthew 8:24-26).

As 2009 draws to a close, I choose to begin the new year with a new peace. One that comes not from the absence of conflict. No one is so lucky. But one that comes from a confidence in knowing that God is bigger than my problems. God wants to shield me in the storm. With gratitude, I look ahead to whatever 2010 brings.

Everlasting Father

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

Before Christmas, I shared about Jesus, our Wonderful Counselor and Mighty God. I never got around to finishing the rest of them.... so before the new year begins, I figured I'd catch up.

People who haven't had a great relationship with their earthly father can have a hard time grasping this concept. It can be hard even for people with really great dads. The word I get tripped up over is "everlasting." What does it mean? The obvious answer -- supported by my own dictionary I might add -- is "it lasts forever." And that's about where we lose it. Good dad or bad, in our world, nothing lasts forever.

My husband and his dad were pretty close, but his dad passed away several years ago. My husband never doubted his dad's love. And, he missed him when he was gone. Once, long after his dad died, he even picked up the phone to ask him a question... Lingering silence filled the room that day when he looked at the phone and really recognized how much he missed his dad.

An everlasting father, though, is always at the "other end of the phone." Ready to listen. Ready to help. Ready to motivate. We need not doubt he is there. Heb. 13:8 reminds us that He is always here. "Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever."

When my kids get injured or feel sick, they don't want me. They want their dad... he is a doctor, so maybe that's reasonable. (Though I think they underestimate the skill of "Dr. Mom.") My kids know that if there's something wrong, Daddy can do something about it. He can stitch up a gash on the back of the head. He can diagnose pneumonia with a quick listen to the lungs. More importantly, he knows how to make it better.

Our everlasting father is all that and more. He understands our hurts, and He knows how to make them better. He is always in control. We need not fear. "He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." (Col. 1:17) God is in control, and I don't need to be!

At our house, particularly during the fall band and football season, we run a bit ragged. I head one direction with a kid or two, and my husband goes the opposite way with whoever is left. We squeeze in the grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, and house cleaning whenever we can snag a few extra minutes. With three kids and two parents, there is just not enough of us to go around.

But God is not stretched so thin! (Okay, I know lots and lots of parents stretched really thin, so I am going to say that again: God is not stretched so thin!) In fact, God is not stretched at all. He is a God of infinite resources: love, joy, peace, and hope. He has an abundance of each and wants us to have them, too.

Isaiah 40:28-31 provides a clear picture of God's infinite love for us.

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

As the new year approaches, I want to soar on wings like eagles - reaching higher than ever before - making an impact for God's kingdom I never dreamed possible. I want to run this race called life with the endurance of a marathoner. I want to walk through the peaks and the valleys, without fear or worry.

Paying it forward

As a new year dawns, fresh and untouched, I consider what I have learned this past year that I should apply going forward. How have I grown: as a wife, as a mom, as a friend, as a Christ-follower? Where will I go next?

I don't really do resolutions. And there's no real reason to look back now, except that a clean calendar suggests a fresh start :)

And while I don't have all the answers to my questions (I have all week to reflect, you know), one thing seems to eclipse everything else. As an adult, I impact the next generation. Adults, we all do. It's not just a parenting thing or a teacher thing or a youth leader thing. Every adult sends a message to those coming up behind us.

My son shared a story with me yesterday showing just how much influence we have. Another adult at our church, who happens to serve on the same ministry team as my sons, stepped away from his ministry role for a few moments to address his own child's "attitude issue." My son noticed:

1. Parenting is a 24/7 job,

2. This man had his priorities right: he stopped serving other people's kids, just for a moment, to parent his own child when it was needed. We tell our kids it's God first, family second, ministry third and the rest of life after that. Both my sons both noticed when this man lived it out.

3. This man's child is one of the best kids to minister to. My son realizes that strong, effective, intentional parenting has helped this kid start to become a young man of great character.

These lessons reflect on a man's parenting, but they did so much more. My son thanked me for being so intentional with him. He has another example of Godly fathering to file away for his future. It reemphasized that being a Christian is not just about Bible reading and prayer, but is also a lifestyle. "We may be the only Bible people ever read."

Dear God, As I move ahead to 2010, let my life be more than an example to the next generation. Provide the opportunity to make a kingdom sized impact on those who follow. I pray, too, that others (so many already do) will realize the opportunity they have to influence the next gen: through serving, through living, through sharing, through their example. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Some things just never change!

We had some really great moments this Christmas, the kind that make forever memories... and some helped Rob and I remember some great moments from our own childhood.

We shared Christmas with our neighbors. It was awesome to spend time with friends we just don't get to see often enough anymore. A quiet, relaxed evening for the adults. The boys, after a day of gift opening and eating, headed to the bonus room to play. They "invented" a new game: shooting nerf guns at each other in the dark, using flashlights to guide their way. They loved it.

It brought back memories of Rob's own childhood, when he and his brothers would play tag in their dark basement, throwing glow in the dark ping pong balls at each other. Very fun!

Sometime during the night, I woke up. We forgot to give our daughter one of her gifts! And I had no idea where it was. I rolled over, flipped and flopped, and finally fell asleep. First thing in the morning, I asked my husband about it. Neither of us could remember where we had stashed it. I really thought I had wrapped it and put it with the other gifts... I had visions of us digging through the wrapping paper and boxes to see if we could find it. (Thankfully, he found it in the corner of the bedroom, apparently moved out of the way a little too well.)

Two days later, and I still chuckle about it. My mom was notorious at buying things, wrapping them and forgetting what she had bought. She is also known for buying gifts and forgetting where she hid them. I guess I'm a chip off the old block!

We may live in an era of computers and technology, but some things just never change!

Merry Christmas

Our family wishes you a Christmas filled with wonder...

fun...

joy in the simple things...

peace...

and LOVE!

Merry Christmas!

Love, Rob, Karen, Nathan, Ben and Ellie

Giving, by Nathan Dawkins

(Today's post is written by my son, Nathan.)

Yesterday I volunteered at a local charity providing food, clothing, and basic everyday items to the poor. I arrived ready to get my hands dirty and do whatever was needed. Four hours later, my mom arrived to get me. I sat down in the car with a huge sigh and a few epiphanies. I had been shown three basic things that day, and I think that many people overlook them.

First, I was shown the value of real, good leadership. I was amazed by the heart of the volunteers. They were willing to give away large chunks of time from their own lives for complete strangers. The only problem was that they didn’t have a leader. Or rather their leader wasn’t effective. They had a great cause but no one was really sure how to carry it out. (The leader was out that day and a sub was filling in. We need strong leaders everywhere!)

The next thing that I learned is exactly how blessed I am. The people who get their everyday necessities from this organization don’t have the luxuries that we sometimes take for granted. For instance fresh bread. Some of these people haven’t ever had fresh bread. It’s always stale, almost moldy, and not appetizing.

I also realized that friendship is incredibly crucial. As I cleaned, sorted, and stacked I wanted desperately for someone to talk to. When I got home, I was dying to talk to someone and socialize. That’s when I realized that it is so much easier to bless the community and serve with someone than alone.

I think everyone should take the time to give to the needy. I learned a lot this week, that I am sure will stick with me a long time. I hope the people this charity serves are blessed this Christmas.

Reevaluating Christmas Traditions

Christmas is a special time of year... traditions make memories. Yet, sometimes, they can trap us, the demands to keep up the tradition can overwhelm the tradition itself. On facebook, I've noticed lots of people baking cookies but not having the time. Traditions overwhelming the joy they are meant to bring.

Perhaps, when that happens, it's time to rethink the tradition. When traditions overshadow this time of family and love, perhaps, it's time to say good-bye. After all, which is more important? Perfectly decorated sugar cookies on a platter or laughter and hugs? Which is more valuable, the "right" gift? Or, the love it represents?

Our family baked cookies together a couple nights ago, and for the first time in a long time, we all had fun. Ellie and Ben made chocolate covered pretzels - easy to do independently - while Rob and I made bar cookies. One recipe, one pan and done! Nathan floated among it all, helping with everything, especially quality control (tasting the batter :D). It was the most relaxing baking night we have ever had! And, we have a platter of yummy delights to share.

We're doing something similar with the shopping. Whatever we haven't done by TODAY - yes, BEFORE Christmas Eve - isn't getting done. Period. There's no reason to rush out and buy stuff to shove under the tree. We already know we love each other, and honestly, will we remember all the gifts anyway?

This Christmas is different at our house. It's about time together, playing games and watching movies... maybe because Nathan leaves for college in two years, we realize what a gift this time is. It's about love and sharing... after all, God gave love at Christmas, sharing his son with the world... why shouldn't we share the love we have?

The slower pace is a treasure. And that's a tradition worth savoring!

Christmas Memories

Ellie loves to hear stories about "before I was born." She cracks up when I tell her stories from my own childhood. I really think she believes I've always been a 40-something mommy! One of the greatest joys of Christmas, though, is sharing those memories. Storytelling links the generations.

Here are a few of my favorites (and Ellie's too):

1. My favorite gift - ever!!! When I was little, probably six or seven, my mom sewed a long nightgown and matching, quilted robe for me. She worked on it late at night after I'd gone to sleep. She checked the size by laying it over me while I slept (I'm a light sleeper, so she was quite stealthy!) I wore that long gown for years, retiring it only when it got too small to put over my head. Thanks, Mom.

2. Santa visits at the Columbus Zoo. When the boys were young, we lived just 30 minutes from the best zoo on the planet - the Columbus Zoo. We visited the zoo for their Christmas light display and to see Santa - the "real one." He didn't have a fake beard! Christmas music played, we got cookies and hot cocoa and marveled at the light displays. (Unfortunately, this was in the pre-digital era or I'd post a pic!) One year, we somehow forgot Ben's winter coat. Rob sacrificed, bundling little, two-year old Ben in his fluffy down ski jacket. Hilarious!

3. Funniest gift ever! My cousin, Brian, gave my parents a puzzle one year... and he was kind enough to wrap each and every one of the 1,000 pieces individually!

4. Our first Christmas eve service at C3 Church. Much of our church family comes from somewhere other than North Carolina, so we weren't sure who would attend. So many people came that we filled every chair in the church, from the front wall to the back. People sat in the aisles, kids on parents' laps, and others stood in the lobby - listening through the doors. What I loved most, though, was the generosity. Church members gave up their seats again and again so that guests could have them. Love came down at Christmas!

5. Shopping in New York City. Sure, it's more expensive there. It was still awesome. In 2008, Nathan's high school band marched in the Macy's parade. Rob sent Ben and me with him, and we got to shop in the original - Miracle on 34th Street - Macy's. We loved the coat check room, the original wooden escalators, and the Starbucks.

Merry Christmas! May your Christmas be filled with special memories, love for one another, and a heart for Jesus. <3

Happy Birthday, Mom!!!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Sometimes you get Christmas gifts on your birthday. Sometimes it's completely overlooked. Today's post is dedicated just to YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!

I love you because you love people so much. Rob, Nathan and Ben say I am just like you -- having never met a stranger :)

I love that you taught me how to write in cursive. My hand-writing is almost identical to yours and I think of you whenever I write with a pen. AND, you taught me how to write with my left hand too.

I love how you took me to work with you during Jr. High so I didn't have to walk so far to school -- and the morning doughnut runs. :)

Thank you for all you did that I never thanked you for: the posters on my door at band camp, the doll clothes you made from scraps of fabric, Christmas songs in July (hey -- that was all started by you, so I can mention it on your birthday), water fights in the house, and the freedom to have friends come visit anytime.

Happy Birthday, MOM! Have a wonderful year!!!

I love you.

Christmas... Is for giving

Can you feel the buzz? The excitement as gifts from the grandparents arrive at our front door. The excitement as the cookies bake (I'm lame, just baking chocolate chip cookies and others that are blob shaped. No patience for sugar cookies here). The excitement as North Carolina braces for snow - teasing us with thoughts of a white Christmas (not gonna happen)...

Yet, Christmas is not about the buzz. The excitement is fun, but Christmas is for giving! My boys are on Christmas break next week. While it's tempting to fill the time with sleeping in, eating, sleeping some more, eating, playing games, watching movies, and more eating... they will also be giving their time and energy to something bigger.

They will be volunteering their time to a local charity, sorting clothes, toys, and food donations. They'll be cleaning storage rooms and stocking shelves to help others.

The greatest gift we can give this Christmas is ourselves.

If not to a local charity, how about making cookies for the neighbors? Or taking small gifts to the nursing home, visiting those whose families won't be there?

Or... what about "forgiving"? The true gift of Christmas is Jesus. He came so that we might live in forgiveness and peace. Why not forgive someone and let go of the hurts that weigh us down? Imagine, a family healed when we say, "It's okay." Or a friendship restored when we, ourselves, ask forgiveness for holding the grudge?

Christmas is "for giving!"

Strength in Weakness

I consider strength that comes from God, and I know what I should do. I wrote about it yesterday.

But, knowing it and doing it are two entirely different things.

I tell my kids to clean their bedrooms. They know what I mean... but do they do it? Not always. Instead, they shove everything into the closet, slam the door shut, prop a chair under the knob to keep the doors from exploding open, and call it done.

I'm no different. I know that as a mom my job is to raise my children to be loving, kind, forgiving, patient, and... well, the list goes on and on. I know that I should model the characteristics I want them to develop... but do I do it? Not always. Sometimes, I get mad.

Instead of training them in the way they should go, I scream about where they went wrong. Instead of patience, I demand action. Oh - I hope you get the idea and I'm not the only one who blows it now and then.

So, how can I be strong in God when I am so busy blowing it all the time?

I think that admitting my weakness as a parent to God, emptying myself of myself, I make room for God to fill the space. Until I admit that I don't have all the answers, that I can't do it by myself, I won't make room for God to work.

I don't know if my weakness in parenting is a spiritual battle or just my own stubborn will, but I do know I am not strong enough to parent God's way on my own. I need to get out of the way, and let God be God. I need to accept that His grace will cover me when I mess up, as long as I keep asking Him for help.

How comforting. In my weakness, He is strongest.

Dear God, Thank you for helping me be the best mom I can be. Help me remember, always, to trust You. Help me remember Ellie's prayer today, "Thank you for giving me my family." Let my life point my kids to You. And forgive me when I blow it. Amen

Life in the Mouse House

Uh oh... One of the mice is sick. Very sick. She is shivering... but that wasn't the biggest clue.

This mouse, the little terror that would - who ran the wheel non-stop for days (Jillian, the biggest loser trainer, couldn't run this much!) - stopped. This little mouse, who I have never held but merely steered to where she needed to go, allowed me to scoop her into my hands.

Mice stink - literally. They are messy. They are VERY noisy. I would never recommend a mouse for anyone's house... much less, four!

Yet, I am sad that this little one is sick. I wish I could help her feel better. I hope she drives me crazy on the wheel again.

Amazing that a mouse can creep into your heart. Or at least mine.

Finding Strength in God

"God is God, and I am not. And that's okay with Him!" Our youth pastor preached that last weekend and I blogged about it yesterday. The sermon left me with one big question. How do I "use" God's strength to make a difference?

I pray all the time, "God use me." "Shine through me." How?

The prophet Nathan sets a great example of how to let God work through our lives. Nathan was a contemporary of King David (The David who slayed Goliath, became King, slept with another man's wife and got her pregnant, and then had her husband killed...) David's life was disintegrating, and so, God sent Nathan to confront him (read the full story here). Imagine telling the King - not any King, but powerful and beloved King David - that he messed up and couldn't hide it from God. That takes guts!

Nathan was able to act on God's request, because he was prepared.

First, he had a close relationship with God. Because he was close to God, he had the confidence to act when God called on him to confront King David. He wasn't confronting King David alone. He was walking with God, confronting at God's direction, not alone.

Second, he had a relationship with King David. Because he and David were close friends, David respected what Nathan had to say. In 1 John 3:18, we are instructed not to love in word or tongue, but in deed and in truth. Nathan had loved David through faithful friendship - his actions and his integrity paved the way for him to speak. When we develop the same type of friendships, God can work through us in the same way.

Third, Nathan knew his calling. He understood his purpose was to serve King David by speaking God's truth into his life. He didn't worry about what others said or did, but focused on what God had prepared him to do. How often do we know the right thing to do, but give into peer pressure or convenience? We'll never make the biggest impact if we are unwilling to walk God's way consistently. (Thankfully, there is grace when we mess up - but that's a blog for some other day).

Fourth, Nathan was humble. He had already set aside his personal agenda to follow God. Sounds like a horrible way to live - you mean, I can't do what I want? It's my life, after all. BUT, in giving his life to God, Nathan was the advisor to a very powerful king! I think I'd take that life if it was offered!

Nathan's life provides the blueprint for me -- and you. Spending regular time talking to God and reading his word is the first step. Without that relationship, how could we possibly know what God wants to say? Developing strong friendships, based in truth, time, commitment and love creates a platform for influence. How much time do I spend nurturing my friendships? Am I sincere in love? Third, I need to trust that God's plan for my life is better than anything I could come up with. I know that is true, but how committed am I (good heart check question!)? And finally, I must be humble. My life is not mine for me. It's a gift from God, intended to make a difference. Perhaps that prayer, "God use me," is a good place to start. If I listen and follow through!

Dear God, as the year 2010 rolls in, help me walk closer with you. Show me my friends' hearts and help me become a better friend. Take my life and use it to make a kingdom difference! Amen.

Mighty God

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

"He will be called... Mighty God..." I know the verse. I have the ornament. But, do I have the faith?

When this verse was written, Israel's ruler was king Ahaz, a young, inexperienced ruler who got the country in lots of trouble. Mighty kings attacked Israel at every opportunity. The people of Israel felt powerless. A country, constantly under attack, led by an ignorant king -- and the prophet promises a Mighty God. Send him soon!!! But the promise was fulfilled when baby Jesus was born in that manger - 700 YEARS later.

Can you imagine? Captive Israel, promised a Mighty God, waited 700 years for the promise to be fulfilled.

I don't face attack from powerful enemy nations day after day. I don't wonder where my next meal will come from. I never doubt that my home will have heat or my car will have gas (OK - that one I doubt, but only because I like living dangerously close to "E"). I don't doubt that my bed will be warm or that my kids will be educated.

The littlest things trip me up. The kids leave a trail of stuff through the house, and I blow a gasket. (They'd shout AMEN if they were reading this with you). The "spinning color wheel" on my computer keeps going and going and going - my computer frozen, and I grow quickly frustrated. Itty bitty annoyances compared to 700 years of persecution from all sides. Do I have faith in a Mighty God?

I believe fully in God, His Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit. But, so often, I ignore them. Not sure why... I just do.

If I could offer God a gift this Christmas, I would walk more by faith -- and less by mood!

I would remember:

1. The character of God - love, faith, and hope is bigger than my problems. I would praise more and whine less.

2. His works already done. Instead of focusing on today's problems, I should remember what God has already done: delivering me from depression, bringing my daughter home from China, guiding us to the right home in the right community, and even to the right church. And the little things, too, like the dozens of times I've found my car keys - but not until I prayed for help to find them.

3. God is God, and I am not. And that is okay with Him! (Thanks, Josh, for putting it this way!) He's not about powerful displays of faith. He's all about the questions. I'll never fully understand God. He knows that. He just wants me to ask. Doubt is not a bad thing! It's a relationship thing... just ask.

4. He is there when I soar -- and He is there when I crash. He never changes, even though I do. God is God, all the time!

Do I have faith in a Mighty God? I do. I hope it shows more and more each day.

Count your blessings

We sorted gifts - lots and lots and lots of gifts - for Angel Tree today. It's one of my favorite ministry outreaches ever. I could get lost in the details (I know what you're thinkin', not you, Karen, you NEVER obsess over details!).

We sort by school, then by family, and then we check that all the kids got their gifts. We bag them up like Santa filling his sack, line them all up for delivery and then. The big day - Angel Tree gifts go all over Johnston County (and Wake County) to bless the kids and their families. It is AWESOME!

But the best part happens at 8:15 each delivery day. The families don't know about it. The schools don't know about it. Maybe, much of our church family doesn't know about it. Before we ever deliver those gifts, we stop. And we pray. For each and every family represented there.

That's the best part. Asking God to bless these families through our humble gifts. Thanking him for the opportunity - really, being able to give is an opportunity - to make a difference, no matter how small it might seem, in these families' lives.

Just like the song, The Little Drummer Boy, Christmas is not about the size of the gift. It's not about the price tag. It's about the heart - giving in love and joy to bless someone else. Just like God did that very first Christmas, when Jesus was born.

Of Mice and Men

Last weekend, my son and I ventured out in torrential rain to purchase - ON PURPOSE - some mice. Real, live, poop machine mice!

This week, my husband decided to finish painting our bedroom -- hang with me, these two random paragraphs ARE related. He's painting in the evenings after work. We are not using low-VOC paint (if we ever paint our bedroom again, we will definitely go low-VOC!) By bedtime, the bedroom still stinks. And, there's a paint tarp covering the dressers, another on the floor, his ladder, paint trays... all sorts of stuff all over the place.

So, we decided to "camp out" in the family room until the painting is done...

Guess what? That whole "not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse" thing makes absolutely no sense! Mice stir... ALL NIGHT LONG!

Here we are, trying to catch a little shut-eye before a new day filled with work, meetings, kids, meetings, shopping, meetings... and all we could hear the whole night was the whir-whir-whir of the little mice running on their wheel.

If you are Christmas shopping, and your list happens to include a couple live mice... we have some for you! :) Merry Christmas!

Wonderful Counselor - Part 2

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.Isaiah 9:6

Yesterday I wrote about my - our - need for a Wonderful Counselor. I am so thankful that I know Jesus in such a personal way. My life is filled with bumps, detours, and derailments as it always has been, yet, with Jesus, I (usually) find unexpected joy in them. At the very least, I learn a little bit more about walking by faith, growing up a little bit each time I trust Him.

It's not enough to know that Jesus is the Wonderful Counselor, we must choose to rely on Him to have a life filled with joy in the adventure - and even joy in the routine. :) The first step, of course, is the relationship: admitting you have sinned, believe that He died on the cross for your sins, and confessing that He is now Lord of your life.

Life's problems don't magically disappear when you ask Jesus into your heart though. He comes in, in the midst of our pain, hurt, confusion, and offers us the opportunity to follow His plan for our life. Wherever we are in life, new believer, lifelong believer, Jesus wants to walk through life's ups and downs with us. Jesus knows the struggles we face. He has been tempted in every way, just as we are.

How do we "get" this wonderful counseling from Jesus?

1. Be honest. We can't overcome our problems if we hide them - from ourselves or from others. God already knows what's happening in our lives, but He waits until we're ready to deal with them to help. He doesn't force us to make wise choices. He doesn't manipulate us into doing the right thing. He waits - He wants it to come from our hearts.

In the TV series, The Biggest Loser, "hiding" is a big issue. Season after season, the trainers confront contestants with their personal lies: I'm not good enough, I have no will power, I eat because my parents weren't there for me when I was little. Each season, contestants who find the true source of their overeating - it's never about the food - are able to break through and claim victory. Those who confront the hurts buried deep inside have the greatest life change.

What masks do you wear? Are you hiding your hurts, pains and doubts from God? He won't help if you don't open up to Him. In opening up to God, you open your heart to yourself. Then, He can go to work!

2. Listen. Going to traditional counseling involves sharing our problems, and then listening to what the counselor has to say. Generally speaking, counselors are trained to help fix problems in people's lives.

However, human counselors don't always get it right - like the one who advised me to "admit I was abused." (See yesterday's blog if you want more details.) We can turn to music, self-help books, talk show hosts, horoscopes, and friends - but none of these can see into our hearts. None of these knows us as well as God does. (Like I said yesterday, counseling is good when it's needed: clinical depression, family headed toward divorce, drug, alcohol, food addictions - all can be helped by the right counselor.)

God, though, wants to guide and direct us. He wants to give us a life free from the burdens of this world. He wants to help us navigate the twists and turns - His way. When we trust him to guide and direct us, we can overcome the pains and heartbreaks in this world. We can live a life of hope, love, and joy. Awesome, right?

3. Just do it! If we listen to God - but do not act - we don't actually get where we're going.

Looking back to my experience with a counselor, I heard her loud and clear. I knew exactly what she wanted me to do. I am confident she believed it would help me overcome and move on. Yet, I didn't do it. Instead, I "heard" God screaming "NOOOOO!" and listened.

What if I'd listened to her? I am not sure, but I can guess my parents and I would have had some pretty ugly discussions - me confronting them for their wrongs and demanding apologies, "or else." Only God knows how it would have been.

But, by listening to God, my parents and I have a different relationship. I didn't ignore my childhood hurts. I DID ask God to show me the truth. I DID ask God to help me reconcile my hurt with reality. I DID ask God to remove the "masks." I DID ask God to help me forgive what needed forgiving and let go of the rest.

As a result, I understand that my parents raised me during tough economic times. I understand that my mom's own tough childhood left her without a good example for doing it differently. I understand that my parents are very proud of who I am and cheer for me like nobody else. What more could I ask for?

We must listen to what God tells us to do, follow His Word, not horoscopes or t.v. talk show hosts! James 1:22-24 says, "Do not deceive yourselves by merely listening to the Word, you must do what it says..." It's time to step out of our comfort zone. It's time to stop thinking "what about me" and instead ask "God, what about You? What should I do so that in my life You are glorified?" We don't need information. We need to live by faith, in a real relationship with God.

Thank You, God, for loving me so much that You sent Jesus on that very first Christmas day. Thank You for His wise counsel. Help me celebrate the truth this Christmas. Let my life be your Christmas gift. I am forever grateful. Amen.

[Special thanks to my Pastor, Matt Fry, for allowing me to take his sermon on our Wonderful Counselor, and give it my own spin.]

Wonderful Counselor - Part 1

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

Long ago, when my kids were very little, I went through a season of depression and self-doubt. My husband encouraged me to seek counseling to resolve whatever it was that kept me from seeing the blessings in my life (He didn't say it quite like that, but it is what he meant). I resisted at first, then finally, I agreed to go. I called several counselors, basically interviewing them for the opportunity to help me :). Then I picked the one who seemed nice.

Counseling day came, and I waited in the lobby, palms sweaty, heart thumping. Would I really swallow my pride and open my heart to this lady?

I did open up - at least the best I could. I answered her questions about my own childhood, my hurts and disappointments, my unresolved anger... you know. She listened. Then she told me I was abused and I had to admit it. She encouraged me to go home, look in the mirror and admit that I was a victim and that my parents messed up.

Oh how thankful I am that God was with me then. I knew, with absolute certainty, that while my parents made some choices I wouldn't make as a parent, that they loved (still do) love me. Our communication may have been a little off at times, but never, never, never did my parents "abuse" me.

I cried that whole drive home, exploded through the front door and vowed never to seek counseling again. (NOTE: I have a social work degree. I believe that counseling can make a huge difference in a person's life. I would go - now - if I needed it. I'm over the temper tantrum.)

How about you? As you look ahead to this Christmas, do the disappointments from your childhood creep up, stealing your joy? Has your life changed, through divorce or the death of a loved one, leaving you feeling empty and unable to enjoy it? Or maybe your finances are a wreck - the economy may be bouncing back, but not yet for you?

God sent his Son, Jesus, to be our Wonderful Counselor. In the original Greek, Wonderful Counselor means too-amazing-for-words advisor. (That's a loose translation, but you get the idea). Imagine having a "spiritual advisor" who is too amazing for words. Jesus knows you (Hebrews 4:15). He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7). You matter to Him (Luke 15:3). Everything you are going through, He already knows. He is waiting for you to ask Him to help you through it. Will you let Him?

Thank you, God, for sending us your son that very first Christmas to be our Wonderful Counselor. When I struggle, help me remember - like you did when I got that bad advice - that I can overcome my fears, my hurts, and my pain, if I will turn to you. Thank you for your incredible love. Amen

"Just keep swimming"

It's one of those days... The further into it I get, the deeper I seem to be wading. If I lived in a river, I'd be in the midst of a swirling, rising flood!

I wonder why I have to spend more time and money on my son's science experiment than he does? Really!

I wonder why the people at the store are so grumpy? After all, whether they are happy or not, we'll be there, with purchases and questions. Why not make the most of it?

I wonder why today is the day to get sad news? And some bad news.

YET... The further into it I get, the more I understand that I don't do it alone. With each tough moment, God is right there. He knew long before today that it wouldn't go smoothly. He was ready for it. So, while the day is exhausting, I also realize...

At least my son gets the opportunity to do some independent learning. He might learn more about how to prepare for an experiment than any actual results. In the end, he will be better prepared for college, no matter how this goes.

If people are grumpy, I have the opportunity to make a difference. (Someone posted on my facebook page to "kill them with kindness" :D) So, I smile. I say thank you. I wait patiently, without any complaint, without checking my watch, without snide comment. I choose not to join them in the grump-fest.

Sad news and bad news are part of life. It's not always full of fun and happiness. When the tough stuff comes up, I can draw closer to God. I can lay my concerns, my hurts, my worries at His feet. Choosing to trust that He can restore any situation, I do not need to be consumed by worry.

As I wrote, laying all these crazy things before God, the doorbell rang. Not one, but TWO, Christmas gifts arrived at our door just now. God providing a little bit of fun in my dreary day.

While the flood rises, I choose to "just keep swimming..." knowing that God offers a life preserver when I need it. And a smile when I least expect it.

In the world, not of it

If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. John 15:18-19

Harsh words from the Bible. "If the world hates you..." Jesus spoke these words to the disciples on the eve of his crucifixion. It seems he was trying to prepare them for the battle ahead. Up until his death, He could reassure them, encourage them, teach them and comfort them. He knew that with his death, their experience would change.

Jesus wanted them to understand that they were going into battle against the world - all those who did not believe that Jesus was the Messiah and the religious leaders who would not receive his message of love over ritual. Jesus wanted them to understand that it was perfectly okay - and in fact good - to be hated or rejected by the world. He knew that those who followed Him would be persecuted for their faith in Him.

How does that compare to us today? As a lifelong believer, I have to be honest, I have not often faced persecution for my beliefs. I've been teased, even since high school, for being a "goody two shoes." Yet, how does that compare to Bartholemew who was crucified upside down, or James, son of Zebedee, who had his head chopped off by King Herod?

Over the past couple years, though, God has challenged me to live more boldly. He has challenged me to go into the world, not just stay in the comfortable cocoon of serving in the church (NOTE: I love serving in and through my church and am thankful for a church home that allows members to be so actively involved). For me, though, God has provided a life of opportunities to live differently in and among "the world."

What has happened since I stepped out of the cocoon and into the world? I am still labeled "goody two shoes" :)... funny how time doesn't change much. I find myself having to choose to live out of my faith rather than respond "in the flesh." It is very hard!

Among my Christian friends, conflict is fairly easy to resolve. When a fellow Christian confronts me, they do so in love and they desire the best for me and for the situation. Facing conflict outside the church has been far more difficult. I find myself wanting to fight (and I do, occasionally). Yet, I also want to stand apart. I want to fight God's way - with love and concern. I realize it doesn't have to be my way, that it isn't all about me and my voice.

In the world, I lose a lot of battles. Not as much gets accomplished. But, I also find that my life does make a difference. People notice when I act differently - and they ask why I would do such a thing. People notice my joy - and they seek me out when they need encouragement. People recognize my calmness in the storm - and they ask my opinion.

It hurts when people treat me unfairly. It hurts when people are mean for no good reason. "If the world hates you..." Jesus never promised an easy road for Christians. At the same time, He asked us to be a light in the darkness. He knows that lost people need believers to share His love with them.

I have always loved the opportunity to share Jesus' love with others. These past couple years, though, stretching and going into dark places I wouldn't necessarily choose for myself, I am filled with great joy. Knowing that people notice the difference in me - and seek me out from time to time - is the most amazing experience. Getting to share His love, His truth, with people... there is truly nothing like it.

Jesus asks us to be a light in the darkness. He knows it's not easy. But, He never leaves us.

Who am I?

Who am I?

What's my purpose?

What's the point?

Tough questions! Yet, I ask them all the time. Sometimes, I think I know who I am: wife, mom, servant of God. Sometimes, I wonder how I got where I am. Often, I get curious about where I will go next!

I thought, by now, I would have the answers to those questions. After all, I am 43 years old. It seems I should have a clue. Yet, I find myself asking the same questions I've been asking for decades. The same questions my own teenager is tackling. And, just about every teenager I know. Maybe, just maybe, I haven't grown up yet :)

John 3:30 says, "He must become greater; I must become less." And that's where I find myself now. The more I discover of my purpose in life, the less it's about me. As my heart and dreams are refined, I become much less important. It matters less if I am recognized for my efforts. It matters less if my house is clean (perhaps that never mattered much anyway). It matters less that my ideas be recognized.

Conversely, it matters more that Jesus be recognized. It matters more that my home be filled with love, joy, peace, kindness and goodness. It matters more that God's plan be recognized - His plan for this world of salvation through a loving, personal relationship with His Son. His plan working through me - "so that all nations might believe and obey him—to the only wise God be glory forever through Jesus Christ!" (Rom. 16:26-27). Not that I can bring all nations to Him, of course, just the people my life touches... But, who will those people touch?

Just as God reassured the Israelites during their exile, in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future," He offers the same to me. He has a plan for my life, full of hope and a future. He just wants me to walk with Him by faith - wherever He leads.

Perhaps, the answer to my question does not include a specific career path or tangible, measurable goal. Perhaps the answer is simply to live a life full of love for God, hope in Christ, and passion for people.

My special girl

When I share posts about Ellie, I often find myself complaining, or at the very least wishing I understood her better. She's a bundle of inquisitive energy. Without a doubt, life with her is topsy turvy on a good day... utter chaos on a bad one. My friends assure me this is just "life with girls."

The past couple days, though, I have discovered a side to her that I overlooked. I realize it's been there all along... maybe because of the slower week and more time together, I have finally had the opportunity to really see her for the special, special girl she is. (Don't misread this... I have always found her to be special, and love her with all my heart - as only a mama can. I just also find that I often have little patience when it comes to her free-spirited ways)

Back to Ellie, yesterday, I commented on a news story to Rob (a good samaritan here in the Raleigh area died when he stopped to help at a traffic accident). Ellie heard me and came to me reaching out her hands.

"Ellie, what do you want?" I asked.

"Let's pray for him, mama." Huge eyes. Really huge eyes. Full of concern for a man she would never meet.

I placed my hands gently in hers, and she prayed. She thanked God for the good samaritan on the road. She thanked God that he cared about other people. She asked God to take good care of him in heaven. "Your turn, mama," she finished.

I prayed for his family, the others in that tragic accident, and in thanks for my daughter. She understands better than anyone I know that God cares about EVERYTHING we go through.

Ellie does this a lot, I just need to slow down to notice it. She prays for Nathan when he forgets to take his lunch to school. She prays for Ben when he gets stuck in his school work. She has no qualms about asking the kids at her school to pray for everyone and everything. She understands: Prayer is simply a conversation with God.

The Bible instructs us to pray continually (1 Thess. 5:17). Following Ellie's example, it's easy. Thank you, my special girl, for setting an example for us all.