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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Interwined Vines


I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 
John 15:5

We are entering a new stage of parenthood, guiding our oldest as he steps into the world of dating. I really can't believe my son is old enough to consider a girl as anything more than friend and buddy, but I knew the day would come. 

Can I just say I love, love, love that my son is willing to talk with us about his relationship? No creepy stalker-mommy details, but just his heart for this relationship. His values. I love that he has values. I love that he has respect for her. I love that he loves God first. 

In his quiet time yesterday, he read John 15:5. He said reading that devotional, he realized the importance of being an individual rooted firmly in relationship with God, particularly when dating. Then he shared this analogy and gave me permission to pass it along. I thought you might appreciate it.

A tree growing in the forest does well when it is given room to grow with proper light, space to spread its branches, and room for roots to grow. But, a tree growing too close to another tree doesn't grow well. Where the branches are crammed together, they stop growing. The tree gets lopsided and unhealthy. Under that stress, it is more likely to suffer from disease or be weak and splinter in a storm.  He also shared that when a tree gets overwhelmed by an invasive vine, the tree is smothered and dies. At the best, the vine grafts into the tree leaving it deformed and weak.

A relationship is much the same way. Boyfriends and girlfriends can crowd each other, spending all their time together. They stunt their growth individually. He shared that he has seen kids give up their interests to spend more time with their significant other only to end up lonely with nothing when the relationship fails. Like the tree strangled by the vine, a relationship can "deform" the couple. Some couples become something different together than what they are as individuals. They sacrifice who they are to try to become something they never should have been. Something unnatural.

He asked us to watch out for them and make sure his relationship with his girlfriend is healthy and godly. I'm sure there will be bumps along the way, but I am thankful that he wants to honor her. 

So, what do you think of this analogy? Can you think of other relationships it fits? Do you think it's accurate? I realize we're not all moms to teenage boys :)... but I think he's on to something good for us all to understand!

In the love of Christ,
Karen

4 comments:

Paul & Angela Jenkins said...

He sooo totally on the right track. As a sub for middle school I see it all the time. What a bright young man you have there. You guys have done a great job.

Kate M. said...

I think he's got a great insight into relationships and how they can potentially go down the wrong path. That's amazing for such a young guy! It's so wonderful that he's putting God first and also that he is coming to you to discuss things like this. Most boys his age wouldn't want to talk about that with their parents :) You're obviously doing something right Karen!

Karen Dawkins said...

Thanks, friends.
While I'd like to take the credit, God gets it all. We have prayed for our kids since before they were - and without HIM, I couldn't be a mom!

Nathan is blessed to be surrounded by some AMAZING Christian influences. (As is our whole family). Nothing like the body of Christ :)

Much love,
Karen

Heckert's Highway said...

You go mama!!!! You have taught your boy well, and now he has his own relationship with Christ:O) What an amazing young man you have!! I completely agree with his analogy, and I'm so proud of him for connecting the dots and applying it to his life. So many adults could learn from him.

Have fun this weekend!

Jenn