Taking Friendship Further

Yesterday I wrote about how I want to be a better friend, a friend like Jesus. Yet, time is short. Life is busy. How in the world can I become a better friend? I'm already so busy. I imagine you're probably a lot like me -- busy with kids, work, house, husband, church and other activities. How do we squeeze in the time to be better friends?

Friendship is not always easy. We go through hard times. We make mistakes. We hurt each other. We're not perfect. A few years ago, I hurt one of my closest friends so badly that our friendship ended. It broke my heart. Recently, we started rebuilding. I'm thankful that I get a second chance with this wonderful woman. I don't want to make that kind of mistake again, with her or with anyone (not that I won't blow it, but I don't want to!).

Jesus-like friendship is special.

Spend time listening.
When Martha got herself all worked up because Mary chose to spend time with Jesus over hospitality, He reminded her that time with him was more important than matching table settings. (Read the story here) Obviously, time with Jesus is our number one priority. Yet, Christ-honoring friendships require the same attention to togetherness.

Extend patience.
We change over time. When one person grows and the other doesn't keep pace (this is true in families and marriages too), it helps to be patient. In John 14, Jesus answered questions again and again of his disciples. He didn't throw his arms up in frustration at the last question, but answered it patiently. He didn't quit on his friends because they just didn't get it.

Enjoy one another.
Friendship by facebook is not enduring friendship. Shocking, I know. I enjoy facebook. But, real friendship is built on togetherness - face time! Jesus was all about face time with his disciples. One of my favorite verses is Luke 9:10, "When the apostles returned (Jesus had just sent them out to share the good news without him for the first time), they reported to Jesus what they had done. Then he took them with him and they withdrew by themselves to a town called Bethsaida..." He took them away to rest and fellowship! They came together to reconnect... Of course, the idea didn't quite work. The people learned where they were and followed, but that's another post for some other day.

Love each other.
Just before He died, Jesus shared the last supper with his friends. He served them in love, even Judas, humbly washing their feet. He didn't demand to be treated like a king. He was their friend, loving and patient. One of the last things He ever told the disciples was, "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34-35)

Isn't that really what friendship is all about? Loving each other with the love of Jesus. I've not always been so loving. I've not always made time for friends who need it. I've not always chosen time with a friend, just for the joy of friendship - instead mulch, laundry, and other things have taken precedence. I'm not always patient with my friends. And I'm way too good at blabbing, not so good at listening.

What about you?

Do you need room for improvement in any of these areas?

Have you overcome some friendship challenges that might help the rest of us out? If so, please share! I'm no expert on this friendship thing.

Dear God,
Thank you for your Son, Jesus. Thank you for his example of friendship. Thank you for the friends you have placed in my life, who love me in spite of my shortcomings. Thank you for the precious gift of forgiveness. Help me see my friends with your eyes. Help each of us become a better friend, a better spouse, a better parent, following Jesus' example. Help me love my friends the way you would. In the precious name of Jesus, I pray.
Amen