Memorial Box Monday: Really, God? WOW!

Ohhh, friends, I can't wait to tell you the most amazing God-sized miracle I've ever witnessed.

The whole thing started about six months ago. Our oldest son Nathan, who is a fabulous pianist, noticed that the pinkie finger on his left hand was curling up, like a question mark. He showed his dad and me and asked if that was normal. Since he was born that particular finger had always curved a little, so we were not concerned at all.

A few weeks ago, Nathan noticed that his right pinkie finger had started curling up. He couldn't straighten either one of them without pushing against a hard surface or using his other hand to straighten them. Definitely odd, but I still was not concerned. My husband, who is a physician, did get concerned at this one. One finger, you can explain away with injury or "that's just the way your finger is." Two fingers, on different hands, not so easy to explain.

He scheduled an appointment with the hand doctor. Honestly, I expected the doctor to take a quick look and send us home. What none of us realized in the couple weeks we waited for the appointment was that all our son's fingers started curling. We had checked his fingers at home, but they were always pressed against a table. None of us knew that both hands were fully involved. 

The doctor took one look at his hands and got quite serious. He ordered neck x-rays to look for nerve compression or other damage. He pushed and pulled and tapped our son's fingers, wrists and elbows. He asked about the piano playing and other activities. When the x-rays were complete, he told us quite seriously that our son needed to see a neurologist -- "and six weeks is too long to wait." Those were his exact words.

Apparently, he was very concerned about something as we somehow got a neurology appointment for that Thursday, only two days away.

Wednesday night after church, we asked for prayer. Our pastor, other church ministers, and leadership laid hands on Nathan and prayed for his healing. They prayed that the neurology appointment would provide answers. They prayed for his hands and his musical gifts and talents. 

Within minutes of arriving home, Nathan stuck his hands right in my face. "What are you doing?" I asked, annoyed. 

"Look at my hands, mama." he said, grinning from ear to ear.

His fingers were completely straight! Every single one of them. Even the one that had been crooked for months. We were stunned. God healed him in less than half an hour!

The next day, we took Nathan to the neurologist who ran a bunch of tests. He found evidence of an injury -- swelling in a nerve in his left arm. Nothing more. He advised Nathan to take a rest from piano, which he'll do. We know, though, that God already did the work. He is healed. He has his hands back.

To remember this miracle, I will put the x-rays (or at least photos of them) in our Memorial Box. I've never witnessed a physical healing before. It's the most amazing thing... like the blind man in the Bible who could see, the paralytic who could walk, or the bleeding woman who was healed, my son received the gift of healing from the Great Physician himself. It's humbling. It's awe inspiring. It's, simply, WOW! Thank you, Jesus.

If you don't know what Memorial Box Monday is, it all started here: "A Place Called Simplicity." A friend of mine introduced me to it, and I love it! love it! love it!!! Memorial Box Monday provides an opportunity to remember all the good things God has done. Huge, gigantic things and little things that might seem insignificant. God's word is clear: "Cast every care on Me, for I care for you." (1 Peter 5:7).

Happy Memorial Day

With our military so active these days, Memorial Day seems to have regained some of its original significance. When I was growing up, it meant simply a day off from school. I never knew anyone who served actively. Now, I know lots of families who are serving to protect our freedom, both the active servicemen and women and their families who press on without their loved one there.

Thank you, all of you. I know Memorial Day was originally intended to remember those who died serving our country (read about it here). Why not take a moment to say a prayer of thanks for those who serve today? Why not take a moment to pray for safety for those who serve and strength for their families?

Come to think of it, why not do that every day?

Happy Memorial Day weekend!!! Thank you to everyone who serves our country to protect our freedom.

God bless.

Letters to God

Talking with a friend the other day (I do that a lot), she shared a beautiful story with me. I warned her then that it would end up on my blog... and Ta Da! Here it is.

She was cleaning out closets and cupboards and such, purging the house of junk to prepare for a yard sale. So industrious! And then she happened upon it... a box of letters she had written to God. Long ago. When she first started going to church. She wrote letters of thankfulness -- for his goodness, his grace, his mercy, and his provision.

But then, as often happens with good habits, she stopped writing. Not that she stopped loving God, nope. Time got in the way. Life happened. No more letters to God.

When she found those letters the other day, she stopped de-cluttering and read them. Her letters reminded her of those early days with God -- when she was totally awed and amazed by his glorious goodness.

A long time ago - before email and facebook (incidentally, a time I easily remember) - people wrote letters that way. We took the time to gather pen, paper and thoughts. We took care to say it "just the right way." When my husband and I were dating (in that time before email and facebook and even cell phones), I couldn't wait for his letters to arrive in the mail. As the recipient, I was sooooo excited that he thought of me and took the time to tell me so. To be honest, I still love old-fashioned letters!

My friend plans to start writing her letters to God again. I think I might, too. I wonder what would happen if we all started doing that... writing him letters of love and gratitude? Would we remember better how glorious He really is?

How about you? How do you remember God's glory? Do you journal? Or do you commit it all to memory, hoping never to forget?

If you decide to start writing your own "Letters to God" let me know if it changes anything. I have a sneaking suspicion that it will. :)

Much love - even through the internet!
Karen

Memorial Box Monday: Contentment

Someone told me recently that what impresses her most about me is my contentment with where life has brought me. (FYI, someone asked her to share that... I wasn't soliciting this at all -- and in fact, didn't believe it to be true!)

I've been mulling it over ever since... Surprisingly, I really am content.

Today, I'd like to remember the journey that brought me to contentment. (My family, if they read this, will shout some loud "amens" at what I'm about to share. Don't be surprised if you hear them!!!)

Most of my life, I've been stubbornly independent, insistent on doing things my way! I did my chores as a kid at 2:00 in the morning. No regular daytime hours for me! After law school, I became a prosecutor. There were no openings, but I suggested that they create a new position and that I'd be the perfect person to fill it. They did! I fought hard for whatever I wanted and never quit till I got there.

I've also suffered from some pridefulness. Okay, a lot of pridefulness. I often found myself in situations where I believed I knew better than everyone else how to do X, Y, or Z. I applied for college and grants without any help from anyone -- not because I'm specially talented. I had some control issues.  It got me in trouble... My pride didn't lead to much respect for authority, especially when coupled with my independent streak.

In all of it, though, God showed me a whole lot of stuff that led me to where I am today. I am thankful for a husband who insists that God is God, not me. I can't have all the answers. My church leaders have an amazing ability to know my strengths and not buy in to my strong-arm tactics to get my way! Nothing like being told "no" 100 times to chip away that pride!!! C. S. Lewis said, "Pride is spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense." My struggles chipped away at my pride, softening me over time. It's a process. But, the result is so worth it.

I first experienced true contentment at the ripe old age of 39. I vividly remember the first night I laid my head on my pillow and not one thought swirled through my head. I remember falling asleep that night (well, actually, I remember that I just fell asleep... no tossing and turning... for the first time ever). I remember the sense of joy when I woke up the next morning, just thrilled to be alive.

I am so thankful that God saw me through my trials. I am thankful that He never gives up on us, even when we dig in our heels and demand to have things our way. I am thankful for His Word, which explains how to have healthy, God-honoring relationships here on this side of heaven. I am thankful for the friends who walk alongside me and pick me up when I fall with a word of encouragement -- or rebuke.

What to put in my Memorial Box??? I can think of nothing better than to write the Bible verse that got me through some tough moments. I treasure it as a precious gift, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." (Phil. 4:11-12, NIV). The secret, of course, is to live for Jesus and not for self. I'm glad I'm getting there. Finally.



If you don't know what Memorial Box Monday is, it all started here: "A Place Called Simplicity." A friend of mine introduced me to it, and I love it! love it! love it!!! Memorial Box Monday provides an opportunity to remember all the good things God has done. Huge, gigantic things and little things that might seem insignificant. God's word is clear: "Cast every care on Me, for I care for you." (1 Peter 5:7).

Motivated!

I had a great conversation with a friend last week, one of those "casual conversations that shakes you to the core even though you weren't expecting it" kind of conversations.

We both want to get healthy. Not just looking good on the outside, but physically strong from the heart to the muscles to the brain. All the "diet" (we're not dieting per se, just cutting out our beloved buttercream) and exercise experts suggest having an accountability partner. They say the accountability leads to greater success. I sure hope so! My friend and I bought in - we will sink or swim, together!

God implores us to live the same way. Ecclesiastes 4: 8-12 says,

There was a man all alone;

he had neither son nor brother.

There was no end to his toil,

yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.

"For whom am I toiling," he asked,

"and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"

This too is meaningless--

a miserable business!

Two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down,

his friend can help him up.

But pity the man who falls

and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,

two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

That last verse, "...A cord of three strands is not quickly broken," is familiar to many of us. You, me, and God: together we can do it. Reading that familiar verse in the context of the earlier one, the man toiling alone, I think the importance of togetherness is amplified.

The cord of three strands does so much:

• It gives us balance. If the lonely man (verse 8) had someone by his side, he could step back from his work and realize there's more to life than accumulating things.
• It provides accountability. Walking with a friend who helps us focus on "the things of God" keep us on the right path. It's harder to stray away with a friend there to encourage and pray.
• It strengthens us. Twine is strong because it is made up of many fibers, spun together. Any fiber, alone, is easy to snap. The same is true for us. Living together, with God, we are stronger than any one of us alone. 

I wonder if that toiling man would be less weary and more joyful if he stopped living his life alone. What if he went to church to worship God in a community of believers? What if he joined a small group of others who would encourage him when he struggled - pointing him back to scripture and praying with him when he started to stray or felt weak?

There are lots of lonely people in this world. Let's remind them that they are not alone. Let's encourage them, pray with them, and reach out to them. 

How about you? Who needs your support today? What are you going to do to reach out to them?

Sounds of Summer

The last few moments before night sets in...

I'm cheating... actually writing my Friday post on Thursday evening while I sit on the screen porch and listen...

• to the birds singing their sweet good-nights,
• to the neighbor's lawn mower, his headlights guiding him in the darkness,
• to the kids shooting hoops in the driveway - no homework tonight,
• to the crickets chirping,
• to chattering on a neighbor's porch - though I can't hear a word they say, it's a sweet sound,
• to the peacefulness of it all.

Summer! Absolute bliss!

Healthy!

A friend and I had a great conversation this morning, about our mutual adoration for buttercream frosting! Yes... YUM!!! My husband makes the most amazing buttercream. I don't share it well. That got me to thinking about Graeter's Ice Cream (it's a local Columbus, Ohio ice cream. You can order it online... mmmmmm!). I don't share it very well either. Yep! It leads me straight to gluttony! And Graeter's got me to thinking about... Oh, nevermind. I went all sorts of places I shouldn't go.

I could eat Graeter's every day. Or buttercream frosting. But, my poor little body wouldn't be too happy with me. No matter how yummy it is, those foods just don't contain the nutrition I need to be healthy.

Here's a little secret, though. I eat all those yummy foods and then dress to hide it. YEP! Honesty in a blog. All that yumminess goes straight to my belly, but thankfully today's fashion makes it easy to hide. That's not how I want to live, mind you. I want to be fit and healthy, with the stamina of a teenager. I just don't eat right.

But here's what really gets to me. I can do the exact same thing with my spiritual life!

I can listen to great Christian music, though sometimes, I get so comfortable with my playlist that the words don't even penetrate. I can get devotions online, sent directly to my inbox, but I can gloss over them and not let the truth God wants me to know seep in. I can "act" like the good little Christian everyone "knows" me to be, all the while knowing I haven't studied God's word on my own in some time. Or that I haven't prayed earnestly in a long time.

Do you know what I mean? We can "pretend" to be the Christian we're supposed to be, hiding all our "flab" under the fashion of feigned Christian attitudes. Jesus warned the Jewish leaders of his day about that very thing, "What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean out the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy - full of greed and self-indulgence." (Matt. 23:25, NLT) He was warning the religious leaders of his day that going through the motions - obeying the letter of the law without taking it to heart - was useless. God wants our hearts, not meaningless rituals!

What do you think? Do we pretend?

How do you live healthy?

Fast forward!!!

I feel like I've lived this past month - or three, or four, or more - with the fast forward button punched down.

We celebrated lots of birthdays: Rob, me and Nathan. (Ellie keeps us on track with those. She knows hers comes right after Ben's :D). We celebrated a successful indoor drumline season, including three out of state trips. We enjoyed the high school musical, Guys and Dolls - Nathan's first appearance in a pit orchestra. We are relieved that AP exams are done (especially Nathan). Ben's happy to be done with end of grade tests. On top of all that, we have crammed in visits to see ALL our parents and siblings this month. Whew!

I look at the family calendar and wonder. When does it ever end? It doesn't -- according to my friend, Barb, who is an empty-nester. If anyone knows, she does.

So, if it doesn't end, if life is going to be lived from appointment to appointment, challenge to challenge, kid to kid to kid... how do I do it right?

Ahhhh, that's the easiest part! I just need to remember the words of the psalmist, "Be still and know that I am God." Waking each morning with a prayer on my lips. Sipping coffee while I read God's word. Before I ever get going, I need to stop. And talk. With God. 

How about you? Does your to do list rival that of a corporate executive? If you don't start your day with God, why not give it a try? 

If you do start your day with Him -- how have you developed that discipline? Share with us, friends.

Much love in Christ,

Karen

Interwined Vines

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 
John 15:5

We are entering a new stage of parenthood, guiding our oldest as he steps into the world of dating. I really can't believe my son is old enough to consider a girl as anything more than friend and buddy, but I knew the day would come. 

Can I just say I love, love, love that my son is willing to talk with us about his relationship? No creepy stalker-mommy details, but just his heart for this relationship. His values. I love that he has values. I love that he has respect for her. I love that he loves God first. 

In his quiet time yesterday, he read John 15:5. He said reading that devotional, he realized the importance of being an individual rooted firmly in relationship with God, particularly when dating. Then he shared this analogy and gave me permission to pass it along. I thought you might appreciate it.

A tree growing in the forest does well when it is given room to grow with proper light, space to spread its branches, and room for roots to grow. But, a tree growing too close to another tree doesn't grow well. Where the branches are crammed together, they stop growing. The tree gets lopsided and unhealthy. Under that stress, it is more likely to suffer from disease or be weak and splinter in a storm.  He also shared that when a tree gets overwhelmed by an invasive vine, the tree is smothered and dies. At the best, the vine grafts into the tree leaving it deformed and weak.

A relationship is much the same way. Boyfriends and girlfriends can crowd each other, spending all their time together. They stunt their growth individually. He shared that he has seen kids give up their interests to spend more time with their significant other only to end up lonely with nothing when the relationship fails. Like the tree strangled by the vine, a relationship can "deform" the couple. Some couples become something different together than what they are as individuals. They sacrifice who they are to try to become something they never should have been. Something unnatural.

He asked us to watch out for them and make sure his relationship with his girlfriend is healthy and godly. I'm sure there will be bumps along the way, but I am thankful that he wants to honor her. 

So, what do you think of this analogy? Can you think of other relationships it fits? Do you think it's accurate? I realize we're not all moms to teenage boys :)... but I think he's on to something good for us all to understand!

In the love of Christ,

Karen

Memorial Box Monday: Alea's Prayer

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my daughter’s sensory issues and our struggles to get help for her. Little did I know that another adoptive family would read my post and find encouragement from it.

When I started blogging I prayed God would use it to help others. I firmly believe that we go through trials in life so that our own character will grow AND so that others may find encouragement from us. But it still amazes me that God uses technology to make it happen. I'm not sure why I'm so surprised since it's exactly what I prayed for.

Little Alea is a few years younger than my daughter. Developmentally, she is where we were when I wondered if we'd survive. Like it was for us, no one really seems to understand Alea's family's heartbreak and frustration. Then, I wrote about God... The almighty, ever-loving God who gave us answers and healed our daughter. Alea's mom read the post.

She reached out to me and I reached back to her. Two moms, separated by a continent, but united in heart by One God. He brought us together through a faithful, prayerfully written post. My story of struggle and perseverance were Alea's mom's gift of hope. Finally, their journey is not so lonely. Together we pray for sweet Alea. And God is moving mountains for her.

Alea is now getting the help she needs. One day, soon, she'll do something so normal that she'll shock her parents. They won't even know until then how they had longed for such typical behavior. And one day, I am certain, Alea will overcome her issues. Her family will be able to relax. And together, through the internet, her mom and I will rejoice.

Alea’s mom and I never would have “met” without the internet living as we do on opposite coasts. I’m in awe. One day, I hope to put a picture of Alea, her mom, Ellie and me in my Memorial Box. But for now, I will keep Alea in my prayers. Please join me!

Memorial Box Monday started at "A Place Called Simplicity." A friend of mine introduced me to it, and I love it! love it! love it!!! Memorial Box Monday provides an opportunity to remember all the good things God has done. Huge, gigantic things and little things that might seem insignificant. God's word is clear: "Cast every care on Me, for I care for you." (1 Peter 5:7).

Friendship and the store clerk

Yep, you guessed it... I'm on a roll. It's all about friendship this week. That's not really how I planned it. God just keeps talking to me -- not so much talking, more like convicting -- about being a quality friend. I hope it's okay that I share :)

I went to the local superstore last week to get some canning essentials. (Side note: I can't believe I am actually canning. HA! It's just freezer jam. But still...) Now, back to the superstore...

The lady checking me out was nice enough, but she looked a bit worn down. You know, hair kinda messed up. Her glasses slipped forward on her nose. She was a bit slouchy. She commented on the large number of jars I purchased and asked me what was in season for canning this early. I told her all about my freezer jam, perhaps with a bit too much perkiness. She responded, "I don't have that kind of energy after being at work all day. You enjoy your jam, hun'."

The conversation has stuck with me. That lady stands at that register for six hours or more every day. Sure, she gets her mandatory break, but then she's right back at it. I stood on my feet for about three hours when I canned those strawberries and it wore me out! I can't imagine standing there for hours. Every day.

The image of that lady has stuck with me. I wonder how would Jesus treat a store clerk?

I'm sure Jesus wouldn't stand in that line complaining about how slow the clerk was or wondering why He always picks the slowest line. He'd probably use that time to pray for the clerk, asking God to bless her with energy to finish the workday or something. He might even pray for the person in front of him who tries to pay with pennies and nickels. Maybe He might even offer to pay for their items. Don't you think?

I am absolutely certain that Jesus would greet that clerk with a warm smile. You know, one of those smiles that tells the recipient they are special, no words required. He would never glower at the clerk. He'd never slam his items down on the counter (whoa... I don't do that, but I have seen it done. Never with eggs though). Nope. Jesus would want that clerk to know that she is not invisible. He'd treat her like she is special. Which, of course, is true.

Even when items scan with the wrong price, Jesus would never "take it out on the clerk." Of course not. He'd understand that the clerk's job is to ring up the items, not to scan the prices into the computer system. He'd be sympathetic. And patient.

I'm certain He'd offer some kind word as He walked out of the store. He wouldn't just grab his stuff and go, hurrying to check off the next item on his to do list. Rather, He would capitalize on this last opportunity to extend kindness to the clerk.

Somehow, I think if Jesus shopped at the same store week after week like I do, He would take the time to learn the clerk's names. All of them.

Of course, I'm not Jesus. I'll never learn all the clerk's names. I'll cram too much into my day. I'll shop with a headache or a sick kid at home. And I'll blow it from time to time.

But I hope I'll learn to slow down a little and look that clerk in the eye. I can always pray -- especially since the alternative is usually resisting the urge to buy candy bars or read trashy titles on magazines dissing celebrities. Yes, I can pray. And I will learn to say thank you consistently, even if everything goes wrong. After all, clerks are precious people too!

Taking Friendship Further

Yesterday I wrote about how I want to be a better friend, a friend like Jesus. Yet, time is short. Life is busy. How in the world can I become a better friend? I'm already so busy. I imagine you're probably a lot like me -- busy with kids, work, house, husband, church and other activities. How do we squeeze in the time to be better friends?

Friendship is not always easy. We go through hard times. We make mistakes. We hurt each other. We're not perfect. A few years ago, I hurt one of my closest friends so badly that our friendship ended. It broke my heart. Recently, we started rebuilding. I'm thankful that I get a second chance with this wonderful woman. I don't want to make that kind of mistake again, with her or with anyone (not that I won't blow it, but I don't want to!).

Jesus-like friendship is special.

Spend time listening.
When Martha got herself all worked up because Mary chose to spend time with Jesus over hospitality, He reminded her that time with him was more important than matching table settings. (Read the story here) Obviously, time with Jesus is our number one priority. Yet, Christ-honoring friendships require the same attention to togetherness.

Extend patience.
We change over time. When one person grows and the other doesn't keep pace (this is true in families and marriages too), it helps to be patient. In John 14, Jesus answered questions again and again of his disciples. He didn't throw his arms up in frustration at the last question, but answered it patiently. He didn't quit on his friends because they just didn't get it.

Enjoy one another.
Friendship by facebook is not enduring friendship. Shocking, I know. I enjoy facebook. But, real friendship is built on togetherness - face time! Jesus was all about face time with his disciples. One of my favorite verses is Luke 9:10, "When the apostles returned (Jesus had just sent them out to share the good news without him for the first time), they reported to Jesus what they had done. Then he took them with him and they withdrew by themselves to a town called Bethsaida..." He took them away to rest and fellowship! They came together to reconnect... Of course, the idea didn't quite work. The people learned where they were and followed, but that's another post for some other day.

Love each other.
Just before He died, Jesus shared the last supper with his friends. He served them in love, even Judas, humbly washing their feet. He didn't demand to be treated like a king. He was their friend, loving and patient. One of the last things He ever told the disciples was, "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34-35)

Isn't that really what friendship is all about? Loving each other with the love of Jesus. I've not always been so loving. I've not always made time for friends who need it. I've not always chosen time with a friend, just for the joy of friendship - instead mulch, laundry, and other things have taken precedence. I'm not always patient with my friends. And I'm way too good at blabbing, not so good at listening.

What about you?

Do you need room for improvement in any of these areas?

Have you overcome some friendship challenges that might help the rest of us out? If so, please share! I'm no expert on this friendship thing.

Dear God,
Thank you for your Son, Jesus. Thank you for his example of friendship. Thank you for the friends you have placed in my life, who love me in spite of my shortcomings. Thank you for the precious gift of forgiveness. Help me see my friends with your eyes. Help each of us become a better friend, a better spouse, a better parent, following Jesus' example. Help me love my friends the way you would. In the precious name of Jesus, I pray.
Amen

Relationship, not Religion

Have you heard that phrase before? "It's not religion. It's a relationship." Like WWJD bracelets did a few years back, this phrase has become quite popular among Christians. We don't practice a religion; we have a relationship with Jesus.

When my friend, Mark, died a few weeks ago, this phrase grabbed me. It was like God said, "Think about it, Karen. Really think about this. I have something important for you to understand." And so, I have been thinking. And praying. And reading scripture about Jesus' life here on earth.

It's easy to think about the relationship and focus on our own relationship with Jesus. In fact, a personal relationship with Jesus is vital to Christian growth. But, I think it goes deeper. Jesus certainly did.

Christianity is founded in faith in Christ, a confidence in eternal life that stems from our relationship with Him. Yet, after Jesus' death and resurrection, He asked for more.

In the "Great Commission," Jesus instructed the disciples to... "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matt. 28: 19-20)

I think we can have a relationship with Jesus, a deep, personal relationship with Him. But, if we don't invest in relationships with others, we miss the point of it all. If you are a believer, like me, great. But, if we're not investing in others, are we really living the way Jesus asked? Are we living the way Jesus did? Not really.

When Mark died, I knew him pretty well. I knew the prayer of his heart. I knew his work took him out of town regularly. I knew he had a passion for the people of India (where work travel took him). I knew he had three sons. I knew he was an incredibly gifted, passionate storyteller who loved the kids at our church.

I didn't know he came from California. I didn't know he had an adult daughter with two sons of her own. I didn't know a lot.

His passing was a wake-up call to me. His life - and death - remind me to slow down and take the time to get to know the people in my world. Through Mark, God has given me a new understanding of "relationship, not religion." I want to listen more to my friends. I want to ask more questions and understand better. I want to be willing to invest more than a little in the people that God has placed in my life.

How about you? Are you caught up in your world sometimes, too? Why not join me in this prayer to make a difference through genuine relationships?

Dear Lord,
You are amazing, God. Your Word is complete and perfect. You sent Your Son to show us exactly what a friend is. You sent Him to guide us and take our place on the cross. Please forgive me for not taking my blinders off sometimes. Forgive me for being insensitive to my friends, my family members, and even the store clerks. Thank you for the model You gave us in Jesus. Thank you for the nudge You have given me through my friend, Mark. Help me not to forget this lesson, Lord. Please open my eyes and my heart to my friends. Slow me down when I need it. Remind me to care enough to stop when my friends need it. Open my ears, God, to the needs of people around me. Soften me and let me be willing to draw close to others.
In Jesus' precious name I pray,
Amen

Memorial Box Monday: Answers

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. 
John 16:33

As another school year draws to a close, I find myself looking back. Again. Trees bud. Flowers bloom. Butterflies flutter. And I reflect.


Three years ago, our son was diagnosed with orthographic processing disorder. We had known something was wrong - he just didn't get spelling or reading or lots of other things not even related to school. He wanted to, but nothing stuck. He wanted friends, but usually playdates and birthday parties ended with him in tears over a misunderstanding and reprimands for his temper on the drive home. The older he got, the worse it was. He got to the point that he labeled himself stupid and even wished he was dead. It broke our hearts. 


Every spring, we asked educational testers to help us figure out what was wrong. No one seemed to have an answer. We prayed for him. Our friends prayed for him. His church leaders prayed for him -- for a breakthrough, for his emotions, and for peace in our house.


Finally, toward the end of fourth grade, God led us to the answer. As we sought care for our daughter (see this Memorial Box post), a therapist noticed some things about my son and recommended testing. Isn't that cool? Our daughter's issues led to our son's relief!


We ended up at a local university educational testing department. These caring professionals spent hours interviewing my husband and me. She had us complete evaluation forms about his educational experience, his friendships, and his experiences in our home. Our son met with her three times for interviews and testing. The process took quite a while.


And then... she put all the pieces together. Struggles we had wondered about his whole life suddenly had an explanation. She gave us strategies for his learning. She recommended testing accommodations to help him succeed. She even suggested how we could discipline him more effectively to curb his outbursts. My husband and I couldn't believe it. We had an answer!


We hurried home to our son, nervous about telling him there was something "different." Yet, we were relieved. Snuggling on the couch, we told him there was a reason reading and spelling are hard, and it's not that he is stupid. We gave him the basic details. And then...


He smiled broadly. Huge grin! "You mean there is something wrong with me?" Uhhh... I was thinking: Wrong, no. Different, yes. Before I had a chance to speak, he added, "I'm not really stupid." Then he was filled with questions about what to do and how to do it.


It gets better! We told the families of his two best friends about the results (they were our prayer warriors through the whole thing anyway). We explained why he has trouble playing with other kids sometimes and what can be done to make it better. These wonderful people listened to it all and helped make playdates more successful for our son. They watched out for him and helped him through the tough stuff.


And better yet! Their boys, my son's friends, cared. These boys wanted to know about his disorder. They wanted to know what would help it get better. They watched out for him. Shortly after his diagnosis, my son learned to spell a second grade type word. These two boys came over to play that afternoon, and the first thing my son did was tell them, "I can spell..." and proceeded to spell it. The boys dive-bombed him and they celebrated like he had just scored the winning touchdown in the Superbowl! Two minutes later they were off playing something normal and boy-like, celebration done.


He still doesn't spell well - but he doesn't worry about it. He knows he'll figure words out over time. He reads slowly - but independently. He participates fully in homeschool group activities, at church, on his sports teams. He has transformed -- blossomed into an incredible young man.


John 16:33 says we will have trouble in this world. My young son has certainly had lots of trouble through the years. Yet Christ came to overcome the world. Through prayer, God helped my son overcome his self-doubt and frustration. God surrounded us with real friends, who love us enough to want to help our son succeed. He provided my son with genuine friendships, even at a young age. 


I am thankful for all He has done in my son's life. I'm thankful he didn't make us go through it alone, but gave us -- and our son -- friends to support us on the journey. We are truly blessed. To remember this season in our life, I will place a picture of my son and his two friends taken about the time he was diagnosed. 


Memorial Box Monday started at "A Place Called Simplicity." A friend of mine introduced me to it, and I love it! love it! love it!!! Memorial Box Monday provides an opportunity to remember all the good things God has done. Huge, gigantic things and little things that might seem insignificant. God's word is clear: "Cast every care on Me, for I care for you." (1 Peter 5:7).