I walk by faith

For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Cor. 5:7

I say I walk by faith, but I wonder if I really do. I love it when I have proof of God's plan. When I don't have proof, I often find myself working hard to figure it out. You know, I walk by intellectualization. Hmm... It doesn't sound quite the same.

Yet, if I'm honest, it's the way I work. Not that I want to. In fact, I fight it all the time. I want to trust God and go places I'd never dream of on my own. He says, "For I know the plans I have for you... plans to prosper you... plans to give you hope and a future." (Jer. 29:11). Why, then, do I fight it? Why do I struggle for control over my world?

With Ben's diagnosis, I devoured books hoping to understand it and overcome it. With Ellie's differences, I can sometimes agonize over every moment of her day, watching for signs of struggle and disintegration. My friends are chiming in with "amens" all over the country... and they probably could give you a list a mile long of other "controlling" moments. They're not exaggerating.

It's hard to go God's way. I just read The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom with my son. Corrie lived in Holland during World War II. A lifelong Christian, safe from Nazi harm, she chose to offer her home to hide and protect Jewish people from persecution. She ends up being sent to the concentration camp in place of the Jews hiding in her home. I read the book long ago, but not as a "mature" (I use that term loosely) Christian. When I read it as a teen, I couldn't fathom the depth of Jesus' love -- which shines through Corrie and Betsie. I couldn't understand faith as my source of strength -- as the believers in the "underground" did throughout the war. The lessons were too deep.

Reading the book with my son, I am challenged to look at my own faith walk. Would I survive life in a concentration camp? I don't think so... and I hope never to find out. But as Corrie (really her father) points out, we don't need to know the strength we'll need one day. We just need to know that God gives us strength for today.

Today, I fall on my knees asking God for the wisdom to know how to school my son. How to inspire my daughter to be respectful -- and act a bit less often on her impulses. How to encourage and guide my eldest so he ends up where God wants him (not where I think he should be). I don't want worldly wisdom. I want His wisdom. His plan. His way.

I'm not expecting to enjoy every day. Certainly, Corrie and her sister, Betsie, didn't enjoy starvation, flea infested bedding or grueling days of hard labor. Yet, God's love shined through them. If I thank God for the opportunities He provides, even on my "hard days," His love will shine through me too. I can thank Him that I get to discipline my kids in His love. I can thank God that I get to wash the mounds of laundry since that means I have healthy kids who actually dirty their clothes in play. I can thank God that I get to cook dinner from a pantry full of options to eat each day, no matter how "boring" I might think our menu is. Every day, God gives me the opportunity to share His grace, His love, His mercy, His tender care and concern.

Think about your "get to's." Have you faced a mountain you thought you could never climb? Perhaps you lost a spouse or a child before you expected to. Maybe you face challenges in work or finances that this economy seems to be hitting everyone with. Or maybe you face obstacles in ministry or service that you didn't expect. Wherever you are in life, do you trust that God is big enough, cares enough, loves enough, has strength enough to pull you through?

Thank Him for giving you the chance to climb, stretch and grow. Thank Him for the opportunity to share His love wherever He has planted you in this world. Praise Him for now and trust that now is preparing you for an incredible tomorrow. Don't look too far down the road, just look at today. Thank Him for the strength for this one day.

Corrie ten Boom was just a spinster watchmaker who loved her family. That love spilled over to touch millions of people across the world. She learned "the blessing of the fleas" (as my son calls it), realizing that the fleas kept the guards out of her bunkhouse so that the gospel could be freely shared there. She found strength to love her enemies as God would, forgiving them for the atrocities she lived firsthand. God's got that same strength for you. And for me.

Let's live with grateful hearts and trust God with the hurts. Let's walk by faith and stop trying to understand it all.

New Life

Hey friends,

A few days ago, a sweet baby girl was born to friends of ours. Their pregnancy had its ups and downs and ups and downs. Family and friends prayed for her -- and them -- for months. I was out of town when she was born and had to wait three whole days to meet her. She's everything we prayed for: healthy! And she's beautiful, snuggly, and sweet.

Anticipating her arrival was a big deal for those of us who know her family. We waited. We planned. We celebrated. We prayed. We loved her before ever knowing her... and I'm just a friend to this special family.

This love for someone so new and special leads me to wonder about Jesus. How did His mom feel as she waited. And planned. And prayed. For Him. Who loved Him before ever knowing Him?

Two thousand years later... Christmas is fast approaching (less than 90 days, but please don't wig out about the shopping you need to start). Do you wait on Jesus? Do you wonder at the miracles He performed? Or that He still performs in us and through us to this day? Do you love Him even though you can't see Him? Is He a friend to you? Is He more than a friend? Is He your savior?

The anticipation of new life is such a gift, but it goes beyond the child. It's a reminder to us all to remember the gift of new life we are given. Take a minute to thank Jesus for the life He's given you. Thank Him for the second chance. Remember how you felt when you first asked Him into your heart!

Praying today for sweet Hartley Grace. May God bless her life as He watched over her arrival. May her parents be filled with love, wisdom and passion to raise her Your way.
Amen

Memorial Box Monday: Out of Egypt

I shared this post many months ago. Tonight, I shared the story with my connect group (my women's small group through church). Our group was looking at the Israelites -- caught between a rock and a hard place, also known as the Red Sea and the Egyptian army. Our leader asked why would God allow them to endure such difficult circumstances so early in their journey. Several months after our daughter came home from China, we went through some difficult circumstances. I found myself questioning if God had selected the right mama for this little one. Through that difficult journey with our daughter (much like the Israelites' journey in the desert), He reminded me how He provided in China. From past faith, He builds greater faith... 

Memorial Box Monday started at "A Place Called Simplicity." A friend of mine introduced me to it last week, and I love it! love it! love it!!! Memorial Box Monday provides an opportunity to remember all the good things God has done. Huge, gigantic things and little things that might seem insignificant. God's word is clear: "Cast every care on Me, for I care for you." (1 Peter 5:7).

Five years ago, on our China trip to bring our little girl home, we hit a snag quite early in the trip. We flew from Raleigh, NC to Minneapolis to Tokyo and then to Shanghai, China. Everything to that point went so well. After spending a short night in Shanghai, we headed back to the airport for our trip to Beijing, where we'd spend three days touring the city before the final leg of our trip and our daughter.

Shanghai's airport, if you've never been, is essentially a gigantic warehouse. HUGE! Bigger than any airport I had ever seen. There were so many ticket counters, we were just overwhelmed. Thankfully, we traveled with a guide. All we had to do was follow her and board the plane.

Nope!

Our family stepped up to the counter, presenting our paperwork so the agent could print our tickets. Rob's ticket printed. Nathan's ticket printed. Ben and I were denied. What???

I wish I could say I suddenly broke into fluent Mandarin and straightened the whole thing out, but no.... This is a God story, not a Karen story. Karen suddenly felt panicked, scared, frustrated, overwhelmed. Our guide was much the same.

She finally decided to take the rest of our group, 23 families in all, to the plane, instructing me to remain in the lobby with Ben. I watched, a bit terrified, as my husband and older son disappeared around the corner headed to our plane. Instantly - though an instant too late - I realized Rob had our passports, my driver's license, and all but $50 U.S. in the travel bag. The enormity of the problem hit me square between the eyes.

Then it got worse. Our older son is the adventurer. He can turn any lemon, even a moldy one, into delicious lemonade. The more thrilling the journey, the better. Ben, sweet son number two, prefers order, calm, and process. I looked into his enormous blue eyes, swimming with fear. I could have fallen in.

My mama instinct kicked in. I dropped to my knees and grabbed both his hands in mine. Looking steadily into his eyes, I said, "Now we pray." I thanked God for getting us safely to China. I praised him for his faithfulness in all things. And I laid our very specific, time-sensitive need at his feet. Amen.

Standing, I took Ben firmly by the hand, leading him back to the ticket counter. As we approached, a woman stepped out of line and approached the counter. She spoke, words I couldn't understand, with emotion and feeling. She pounded the counter. She pointed at the agent and then pointed at me. The ticket agent looked down and she walked away.

Arriving at the counter, the ticket agent pulled two tickets out of the machine. He handed them to me and in broken English, said, "Run."

Grabbing Ben's tiny hand with a death grip, we ran. And ran. And ran. Toward the very last gate in the terminal. Beyond our flight time, we ran. At one point, he stalled. "I can't run anymore. It hurts." Inspired, I exclaimed, "Ben, this is our Amazing Race. We are not going to miss our plane. Now -- let's -- run!"

At the gate, I handed over the tickets. We were escorted to the waiting (I hoped) plane. As we boarded, the passengers, friends and strangers both, erupted in cheers. I erupted in tears. Ben and I collapsed into our giant, leather seats in first class. Cool, huh?

It's been years since that trip. Our family remembers God's faithfulness that day. From ticketless to first class, because some stranger stepped out of line the moment we prayed. God is good!

Into our memorial box, which for now is a simple shoe box, I place a tiny, plastic airplane to remind myself that when I feel small and forgotten, God is just as big as he has always been and will take care of me.

College Visits 101 -- for parents

Hey all,

Fresh from our trip to Birmingham, I am so thankful for the advice from friends who went before us. We were told again and again, "Make visits your junior year." Great advice. Parents, here are my top five tips for college planning. Nathan hasn't left the nest yet, but we are enjoying the search for his first new nest. I hope this advice helps you and your child have a great time discovering what's coming!

1. Limit college visits. Look at four or five schools that interest your child, but don't go further unless those all bomb!

• It's easy to research colleges online at www.collegeboard.com. The college board website includes the basic information and stats about colleges across the country. It's easy to compare GPA, SAT/ACT scores, demographics (instate/out-of-state students, rural/suburban/urban setting, school size, class size, activities, etc). 
• Consider distance from home -- is your student truly comfortable with being 12 hours away? Is there a school closer to home that offers a comparable program -- at least on paper? 
• Consider finances -- Our son knows what his student loans will look like at each college he wants to visit if he doesn't get scholarships. He knows how much scholarship money he needs to realistically attend those schools. We aren't ruling out private schools, but he knows that he'll need scholarship money to attend -- one is a "reach school" -- unlikely, but a great dream on paper. The rest are more realistic. He anticipates a good financial aid package, but knows that there are decisions down the road as well.
• Choose the top four or five realistic schools and then rank them.

2. Make personal visits rather than attend college for a weekend programs. While college for a weekend programs are convenient, they are marketing tools. They share very basic information in a controlled environment geared toward fun and entertainment. Obviously, every day at college isn't a party (I hope!), so this isn't a true picture of the school. It's an advertisement, though the financial aid and admissions information will be helpful.

• Try to link a personal visit with a college for a weekend visit. Go a couple days early and visit the areas that interest your child. Colleges will arrange a class visit, overnight dorm stay, and meetings with faculty. This is the information that will help your child know if the school is a good fit.
• Explore the area in your free time. As a parent, are you comfortable with the location of the school? Is there enough fun stuff to do during downtime?
• Perhaps most importantly, schedule visits when classes are in session. After all, no matter how "pretty" a campus is, it's what happens inside the classroom that matters most... and who does it happen with? Will your child "fit" the personality of students on campus? Will your child be comfortable among these kids? That's hard to know without any kids or classes happening.

3. Realize this is your child's college experience, not yours. If you enjoyed college, great, but don't force your experience on your child! College and kids are different than they used to be. Let your child take the lead in the exploration.

• When meeting with faculty, hold your tongue! Your child is the one who will have a relationship with the professors, so let that start now. 
• With that said, it's a great idea to help kids prepare before the visit. Help them figure out what they want to know and how to talk with professors. (search "questions to ask at college interviews" for lots of great lists) Once on campus, let your child take the lead.

4. Be a sounding board. High school students know that college is a big decision. Probably, the stress of choosing the right school is more burdensome than you realize. Be their sounding board. As they work through the process, be available to listen. And listen. And listen. While you're at it, bite your tongue when you want to spout advice. Only give that if your child asks specifically for it.

• Here's the cool thing. If you listen actively and support your child through this decision-making process, he or she will want your advice. Really!
• If you say, "here's what you need to do..." or "here's what I did and it worked great for me...." or anything along those lines, your child will tune you out. 
• Instead ask, "What do you think about that?" "How do you feel about..." 
• As older friends make college choices, ask your child to share his or her thoughts about the choice. Whether kids realize it or not, they weigh their friends' choices against their own standards. Evaluating what an older student has done will help your child better evaluate the choices he or she must make.

5. Throw out the junk! Beginning sophomore year, your child will start getting college information in the mail. Start evaluating early. "Hey you got a flyer from Podunk U. in Outer-Mongolia. Does that sound like a good school for you?" The response will be something like, "Duh. NO!" Then toss it. Immediately!

• If you don't get a "Duh. NO!" response, then check out the school at collegeboard.com (see #1 above) and decide if it's a school worth exploring.
• Once you have information on four or five schools that look like a good fit, start the visit planning listed above. Only if all those schools don't fit add more. (We have a first tier list and then three schools in the backup plan. Very unlikely we'll get to those.)

Our time and resources are limited. There are only so many colleges we can visit in a year. Plan wisely to maximize the information you learn with the least amount of time and money expended. Be realistic about resources and scholarship expectations, and help your child go into the college search with eyes wide open. Don't discourage dreams, just provide a framework on which they can be dreamt!

Above all, trust God. He created your child to be exactly who he or she is. He has a plan, too, and wants your child's life to be exactly what it is meant to be. Pray, mom and dad. Trust in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you... plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Isn't that what this next big step is all about? Following God's plan for your child?

One giant step forward

The last time I posted, my little girl got on the bus -- no looking back.

Today, I'm sitting in a hotel room in Birmingham, Alabama (9 hours and 30 minutes away from home), while my oldest visits Samford University. Gulp! We flew in late last night, then spent today touring the campus, meeting professors, talking with the admissions officers and more. Now, he's hanging out with college kids, spending the night at school. I'm here in a hotel room, wondering how he got so old.

I'm in uncharted territory. Nathan's so much fun to have around. He fills our home with music and laughter. He is calm in the storm -- stepping in to take his little sister for a walk when she's making me crazy (I love her, but... well... sometimes she has more energy than I know what to do with). Whatever will I do without my son around?

I expected to feel some trepidation at this juncture, but surprisingly, I am calm. Really. I enjoyed seeing the campus, hearing about the school and the relationships between students and professors, and just watching Nathan unfold as the day progressed. He enjoyed it. He was mellow about the whole thing, but he really likes the school. I know.

We've asked everyone we know to pray for him as he decides where to take this next big step. We're praying that God will reveal where He wants Nathan to go. We know God has a plan.

I guess as my son grows, I've grown a little too. I'm not scared about where he'll go to college. He will be ready. I'll miss him, but he's ready to live his own life -- almost ready. And I'm getting ready to let him go.

Not yet.

But soon.

No looking back

Bittersweet start today.

Every morning, Ellie eats her breakfast, gets dressed, puts on her shoes. We kneel together and pray for her school day. Honestly, the past few days we've prayed that she will remember the whole day to be nice to her friends and teacher and follow the rules. That's not always her strong suit... She can be a bit impulsive at times.

She climbs mountains too!

Then, we head out the front door. I stop there, watching her from the rocker as she walks down the driveway, across the street, past two neighbors' homes to the bus stop. She hangs out with her buddies like a big kid. I marvel that she's so big.

The bus arrives and the kids line up to load it. Every day, Ellie looks over to the porch, catches my eye and waves, wearing a big smile on her face.

Until today.

Today, my little girl didn't need that smile of reassurance. Or she got distracted by the arm that extends from the front of the bus. Yeah, maybe that's it... she's distracted.

Whatever the reason, though, she didn't give me another thought. She's a big girl off to school.

Bye, sweet girl. Whether you think you need it or not, I'm here for you. I'm praying for you -- throughout the day, not just when we kneel together. I love you. Always and forever.

Memorial Box Monday: A full tank.

My dear bloggy friends,


It's my favorite day of the week again. The one day I know I will always find myself thanking and praising God for His love for me. The rest of the week, I can get caught up in prayers for provision, help, strength, encouragement. Mondays, though, I begin my week with prayers of thanks!


Many years ago, when my boys were quite little, we lived in central Ohio, just north of Columbus. Our families lived further north, in Kent. Each Thanksgiving, we'd pack the kids into the van and drive up to see the family. This particular Thanksgiving, Nathan was about four years old. Ben was just a baby.


Nathan loved visiting the family and eating. Never a picky eater, he fussed about everything that day. He didn't like any of it. He didn't eat much. He played a lot. And then... he threw up. Again. And again. Nathan has an incredible pain tolerance. We discovered he had a fever. My parents were very patient with us while we plopped him in the tub to bring down the fever and packed up to go home. Our visit was cut short, but they understood.


With Nathan all cleaned up, we loaded the boys into the car -- trash can at the ready, just in case. With a last round of hugs, we headed home.


About an hour into the drive, Nathan burst into tears. Inconsolable. Definitely not his modus operandi! At first we thought it was the illness. Eventually, he explained that we left his flowers at grandma's house. 


This is one of those weird memories. I really can't remember where the little wildflowers came from -- maybe they picked flowers from a houseplant. Maybe? Anyway, my mom and Nathan had picked the flowers and put them in a tiny glass earlier in the day. He wanted to bring them home to decorate our kitchen window. When he realized we'd forgotten them, his sick little self just couldn't deal with it.


My husband and I talked for just a moment about heading back to Kent to get the flowers. We were already half-way home, so we'd be doubling our drive. That meant we needed gas money to finish the trip. We discussed the "cost" of gas... but it was nothing compared to his heartbreak. So, we called my parents to let them know we were coming back to get the flowers -- as crazy as it seemed. 


I remember asking God to bless that moment of parenting. We tend toward more practical parenting decision-making. Logically parenting, we would have driven home and promised to pick new flowers another day. We might have explained that sick little boys need to get home to bed, not drive extra hours in the car. But we didn't act logically... we made the decision based simply on love.


Flowers retrieved. Sick boy happy. Hugs given again. We started back home.


When we got to the place where we had made the turnaround, I asked my husband how we were on gas. He looked at the gauge and said, "We're still at half a tank." Really... that's about where we were when we turned around a few hours earlier. Amused, we watched the gas gauge the rest of the drive home. And through the week.


Wherever I went that week -- taking Nathan to the doctor, going for groceries -- the gas tank never emptied. Vividly, I remember turning on the engine, watching the gas gauge with wonder. For several days, I felt like God was giving me a warm hug -- telling me in his own special way that we had done a good job that night.


Pretty cool.


I've already put the dried flowers into an album for my son. The story is recorded there, too. Some day, he will be a daddy. Maybe he'll make the unexpected decisions with his own child sometimes, too, and revel in God's miraculous response. I'm not sure what to put in my own memorial box.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Memorial Box Monday, it started a while ago at Linny's blog. MBM provides an opportunity to remember what God does in our lives. How He answers each and every prayer, whether big or little. I've asked God for some big stuff in the past, such as providing the resources for our adoption and helping me overcome the fears I felt after 9.11. I've asked for the little stuff, too... like patience in the midst of everyday life. God always provides. And that's the wonder of Memorial Box Monday!

FIT Fridays: Take off the mask

FIT Friday friends,

How are you doing today? Not just with your weight. How's life?

Do you know that you are God's precious one?

A friend shared recently that she's excited at her weight loss and improved health. She's lost quite a bit of weight this year and feels better than she has in a long time. She's nervous, too, as she's hitting that place she's been before... that "plateau" of weight loss that she's never broken through.

It's not just weight loss that can "plateau." Sure, we talk about weight all the time. It's visible. It's easy to measure. Our societal stereotype says thin people have their lives together. Heavy people don't.

The reality is very few of us have our act together. It's exactly that -- an act.

We need to take off the mask and live the way God designed us. It means breaking through barriers like food addiction, control addiction, and approval addiction. It means turning to the One who created us in the first place.

When Rob and I were first married, I had serious food issues. I wasn't anorexic... but when the finances got tight, I would get scared and control what I could. My issues were food and control -- tangled together in a big knot. I would eat the bare minimum to get through the day. Tiny portions to keep my tummy from growling, but not enough to really nourish me. I had no energy. I got depressed.

The issue wasn't food, it was fear. I didn't trust that we'd have the money to get through. I didn't trust that God would provide for our needs -- even though he loves us more than the birds of the air (Matt. 6:26). I needed control, so I'd limit what I ate to control what I could of how much we spent.

For years, I didn't told Rob about my fears. I just bottled them up and shoved them inside me. Deep down inside. I certainly never talked to God about them.

Eventually, I got to the place I had to deal with it or be stuck. God -- and Rob -- helped me overcome my fears. God helped me let go of control -- for the most part. To succeed, I had to take off the mask of self-control and open my heart to God. Rob was sensitive to my fears and reassured me that God will always take care of us... Just like it says in the Bible.

So, what about you? Are fears keeping you from being who you're meant to be? Do you hide behind food so no one will see you? Do you have issues to tackle, but avoid them, instead comforting yourself by eating?

Whether we are thin or not, we all have fears and issues to deal with. Let's take off the mask and deal with them head-on.

Dear God,
I can't begin to comprehend your love for me. Your love is deeper than the oceans and wider than the seas, but even standing at the edge of the water, I can't see that big. Thank you for loving me that much. Forgive me that I don't trust you all the time. Forgive me for wearing a mask -- hiding my fears with control, comforting myself with food. I know you want to be my comforter. Help me give my concerns to you. I don't want to carry these burdens anymore. They're too heavy. I can't live the life you have for me if I carry the past around all the time. Please, God, help me let go so I can really begin to live.
In Jesus' name,
Amen

On a lighter note...

Hello my bloggy friends,

Today's topic is a drastic departure from yesterday's introspection! I've come to realize that I am...

drumroll please...

a....

Southerner!

Yep! I've succumbed to the southern way of life. And, I kinda like it.

I know I'm a southerner because:

• I always do my hair before I leave the house, always -- no more carefree ponytails for me.
• The place I get my hair done is amazingly reminiscent of Steel Magnolias. Seriously, when I get my hair done (or "did"), we always end up in the kitchen area chatting about everything under the sun. I know everyone there by name. AND I frequently gab with my friends as they get their hair done. And I love it!
• Boberry biscuits.
• I don't complain about the humidity, I just carry some makeup to cover the shine when needed.
• I say "y'all" -- really.
• I also say "hun," "sug'," and "sweetie." Often.
• If you don't know how to pronounce "sug'" you are not a southerner.
• I make chicken and pastry instead of chicken and noodles... It's the same thing, y'all.
• I'm not surprised when businesses are closed on Sunday. :)
• I don't drink "pop" anymore. I do drink "soda." Sometimes. 
• Sometimes I drink sweet tea instead.
• I wear jewelry with everything. Even t-shirts and shorts.
• Some of my jewelry is big and chunky. 
• Our house is beachy.
• We have a giant front porch with rockers. 
• And we actually use them!
• I know what a pig pickin' is. 
• I like pig pickin's.
• We go to covered dish dinners. Not pot luck. 

Carolina is my home sweet home!

God bless, y'all!

Is it Satan or is it me?

Oh my friends....

Sometimes struggling through things of a spiritual nature overwhelm me! Last week, I posted my thoughts -- really, my frustrations -- as I homeschool. I attributed my hurt to an attack from satan. After reading the post, a friend of mine asked why I think it was satan? What if it's just my selfish sin nature?

I absolutely love having a friend who pushes me this way. Her questions sharpen me "as iron sharpens iron." (Pro. 17:17) How do I know it's satan? Am I making excuses, blaming him rather than looking at my own heart which might need an adjustment? You know, more patience... Less hand-holding... Perhaps a new way of doing things?

I've pondered her question ever since.

Satan sneaks in to "steal, kill and destroy." (John 10:10) Jesus came so that we might have life, "and have it to the full." Ephesians 6:12 (NIV) warns us that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."


I think back to my struggles last week. In my heart, I know that it's my calling (at least for now) to teach my son. Through the years, I have studied about "orthographic processing disorder" and all that it entails. I've learned from teachers and books how to help him develop study skills and acquire knowledge, despite the challenges. I've prayed for him more than any teacher ever could. I know with all of my being that this is what I am meant to do.


Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) says, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Knowing this is God's plan for me doesn't always mean that it's easy! I am selfish. Come on, people. We all are to one degree or another. I am lazy. I would love nothing better than to curl up with a good book on the back porch, drinking lemonade and basking in the sun. Back to the question...


Is my battle with satan? The one who sneaks in and lies and tempts me with things other than what God wants for me? Or is my battle within me, my own sin nature?


I am...


A MOM!


And I know that my heart wants the very best for my son. For all of my kids. Equipping them for the future is my "main job." Not so long ago, we agonized about whether to send Ellie to kindergarten and then rejoiced in the affirmation that came from God. We pray every morning with Ellie and Nathan before they get on the bus -- asking God to help them be a light for their peers -- His light. I pray for them throughout the day. Every day.


I'm not saying my battle isn't within me... It might be. But, I think I'm battling Satan. If I give up on teaching Ben, then his world would change drastically. If I give in to frustration and exhaustion -- throwing it all away -- this child would not be ready for the next step. He'd go to school, but it wouldn't be right. Not yet, anyway. With all my heart, mind and soul, I know God's plan for Ben this school year. 


I won't send him to public school until he's ready. Until God tells me he is ready.


Back to the question: Is it satan or is it me?


You know what? Really? It doesn't matter! 


If satan's knocking on my door, sneaking in and messing with me and my family, I will pray. I will ask you to pray. I won't give in no matter how much I want to. If it's not satan but is instead my own lazy, self-centered sin nature, I will pray. I will ask you to pray. I won't give in no matter how much I want to.


See? The enemy is sneaky. He could get us side-lined discussing the cause of our pain. We could analyze it for days. But then, we might not pray. We might get ourselves all tangled up in knots wondering is it me, God, or is it the enemy? 


But it doesn't matter.


Instead:

...put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Ephesians 6:13-18

Be alert and always keep on praying!

Much love,

Karen

Miracles

Praying today for friends with huge miracle prayer requests...
Do you believe He is the same God of miracles today that He was when the Bible was written?

Memorial Box Monday: My Brave One

This is Ben now... Our brave boy, riding the San Francisco
cable car, standing rather than sitting.

Hello my bloggy friends,

For those of you who aren't familiar with Memorial Box Monday, it was started a while ago by Linny at her blog. MBM provides an opportunity to remember what God does in our lives. How He answers each and every prayer, whether big or little. I've asked God for some big stuff in the past, such as providing the resources for our adoption and helping me overcome the fears I felt after 9.11. I've asked for the little stuff, too... like patience in the midst of everyday life. With. Kids. Need I say more?!?!?!?

This weekend, though, as I was asking God to remind me of all He has done, He brought a different kind of prayer to mind. He took me back to October 4, 2006. A few years before that, our younger son, Ben, had prayed the believer's prayer, asking Jesus to become his Lord and Savior. But... Ben was terrified of being the center of attention (a concept I will never really understand). He refused, month after month, year after year, to be baptized. "People will see me," was his simple, firm complaint.

Month after month, our church would have baptism services. He'd cry... because he didn't get baptized. We told him when he was good and ready to let people know he loved Jesus, he wouldn't be afraid. We prayed with him and for him, asking God to help him overcome his fear. Twice, he signed up for baptism. Twice he chickened out.

A few times, my husband and I debated whether to let him have a private baptism since he was so scared. Ultimately, we decided against it. We chose instead to pray with him -- again and again. We wanted him to know that loving Jesus is not something to fear.

In September of 2006, he decided he was ready. He asked us to sign him up -- again -- for the October baptisms. He hoped and hoped and hoped that there would only be a few people getting baptized. He hoped we'd have small attendance at church.

The day finally arrived. Our church was PACKED! Standing room only at the back of the worship center. Twenty-three people had stepped forward for baptism. If not the largest baptism service ever at our church, it sure was close to it. Ben lined up somewhere in the middle of the pack. I was certain that by the time he got to the front, he'd chicken out again. There were so many people.

But....

When his turn came, he walked to the baptistry confidently. He climbed the stairs, stepped into the water and sat down on the little bench. The pastor asked him if he had accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior. He asked Ben if he was ready to follow Jesus all the days of his life. Ben answered confidently that he had and he would. But here's the part that gets me -- every time I think about it.

Ben didn't look at the pastor as he spoke. No. He was so confident and so ready that he looked at the people, hundreds of people, who were there. Not only had God removed his fear, He had filled Ben with confidence.

Most people there that night might not appreciate the significance of Ben's looking one way over another. They don't know how fear had held him back. They didn't know they were witnessing a miracle answer to prayer.

We did.

I am thankful for Ben. I'm grateful that God allows me to be his mom. I'm honored that I get to do battle with my son -- and sometimes for him -- so that he can follow God with confidence. Someday, my "little" boy will be a man, a husband, a father. It's such a blessing to know that he'll do all those things as a follower of Jesus.

If you looked in my Memorial Box, you'd see a polaroid picture of a little boy, looking away from the pastor during his baptism. It's not the usual baptism photo. And that's my Ben, overcoming fear in a big way, with a little help from above!

Remember

FIT Fridays: Fall! Or Autumn, if you prefer. :)

Hello my Fit Friday friends,

We got through summer and now... FALL! Typically this time of year means sweater weather which can lead to less motivation to exercise. After all, those bikinis (NO -- I don't actually wear one) are tucked safely away until next summer. Why worry about it?

The end of summer often signals an end to exercise. We hibernate in front of the TV and well... we eat. Tailgate parties. Halloween candy. All those yummy harvest foods like apple pie, pumpkin pie, cobbler... Ohhhhh, I could go on, but I'm making myself hungry!

What's a woman to do? Let twelve hard weeks of healthy eating and exercise just slide away? Do we really want to "stock up for winter," packing on the extra pounds like a chipmunk or a squirrel? I don't think so!

To prepare for the new season... let's make a plan!

First, let's thank God! Let's thank Him for health. For bodies that work. For wisdom! Since "actions speak louder than words," let's not just thank Him with our mouths. Let's live healthy and actually apply all we have learned this summer. Show God your thanks!

Second, let's discover the joy of healthy eating during this season. The farmers' markets overflow with incredibly wonderful food. Discover the flavors of fresh-picked local produce... Don't drown those veggies in butter or saute them to death. Enjoy them, fresh or lightly steamed. Spritz with lemon juice and savor the flavor!

In the kitchen, make zucchini bread (you can substitute whole wheat flour or oat flour for some of the white flour for  a health boost and cut the sugar by half. You'll never miss it!). Enjoy pumpkin pancakes. Bite into a crisp apple and remember your childhood. Delicious!

Finally, enjoy the cooler air. Get out there and keep moving. If your family loves football like ours does, why not toss a football in the back yard before the games come on? Or head outside for a half-time football game with the kids... Lots of people do that on Thanksgiving, but you can play other days of the year! :) Hike in the woods and appreciate the smells of fall, the feel of the cool air on your cheek, the color of the world as it prepares for winter.

God gave us seasons. Let's embrace this one in a new way. Enjoy and God bless!

"All the kingdoms of the world"

Again the devil took Him to a very high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and the glory of them; and He said to Him, "All these I will give you, if You will fall down and worship me." Then Jesus replied, "Begone, Satan! for it is written, 'You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you serve.'" Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him.

Matthew 4:8-11

This week marks our daughter's first full week of kindergarten. She boards the bus at 8:15 every morning, spends a fun-filled day with her friends (Seriously, she doesn't even realize she's learning. She enjoys the whole thing!), and returns home about 4:00 in the afternoon. We expected it to wear her out. Instead, she arrives home, bubbling over with energy, ready to play and explore some more.

Nathan's junior year in high school is proving to be more intense than he expected. His classes are more demanding, and the homework piles up, but he loves it. Ben's much the same. We're studying logic this year. The logic vocabulary is unique to the subject. With the challenges Ben faces in learning new things, this course is proving to be quite difficult. Thankfully, he seems to enjoy it... except for how long it takes to master.

I expected smooth sailing this year. I actually thought that having Ellie in school would simplify things at home. I never anticipated logic to take over where she left off -- consuming big chunks of the school day. I had expected some breathing room. I didn't anticipate needing to adjust to school schedules. For some reason, having to watch the clock and keep her on schedule in the morning wears me down. Reminding Nathan about homework and piano practice grates on my nerves. He's a relaxed kind of guy, not at all intimidated by deadlines. In his world, there's always tomorrow to get done what he could do today. UGH!

My attitude these past couple weeks has not been pleasant. I'm frustrated that school still goes from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Ben's working so hard. He's amazingly persistent. He doesn't let his limitations get the best of him.

Instead... I do that. I find myself wishing he would learn like everybody else. I wonder if he could survive in public school. What accommodations would they offer? Selfishly, I want to throw in the towel.

Do you see what satan's trying to do? He's filled my head with visions of peace, a relaxed pace, and time for myself. He's "helped" me forget how tough new concepts are for Ben. He's clouded my memory -- so I don't recall all the things we have already overcome. Just two years ago, Ben (8th grade now) couldn't read a chapter book. Now, he reads on grade level. He's a little slow, but he gets it.

In the desert, satan tempted Jesus -- promising Him lordship over the earth if He would simply bow down to him. I think, perhaps, I am in the desert myself. I'm tempted by "easy living." Days filled with peace and quiet. Time to do what I want, not weighed down by the study of logic, Kepler, Copernicus and the death penalty. Satan's got me where he wants me.

That really makes me mad.

I don't really want what he offers. I'll have enough of that when the kids leave home. In my heart, I know I really want to prepare my kids for their life as adults. It's my calling to raise them and equip them to follow God all the days of their life.

Where does that leave me?

Honestly, right where I need to be. On my knees. Praying to Jesus. Asking Him to help me overcome the temptation I face. Asking Him to fill me with desire to do God's will. Asking Him to help me say, "...Away from me, Satan! For it is written, 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only.'" (Matt. 4:10). The devil can't steal what I won't give him. And I'm not giving him my family!

FIT Fridays: Read the Label

Hey bloggy friends,
So... that day of grace I asked for turned into a full week. I admit our time management did not go so well. We'd get the kids to bed each night, and then I'd fell asleep. Back to school is apparently tougher on moms than kids these days.

So... here's the long-awaited post. Thanks for your patience. :)

Processed foods. Yep. That's what you've been waiting all this time to read. I hope you're not disappointed. Packaged food has always been my friend. Since I don't like to cook much, I've kept a good supply of frozen, one person meals around forever. I thought I'd eat these amazing, convenient wonders and stay healthy.

Wrong!

Processed foods are tricky! Some so-called low-calorie frozen items are so high in sodium that they cause their own problems. Any food item that provides 40-50% of daily sodium needs is best avoided, especially for people with high blood pressure. High sodium consumption can lead to other health problems too.

Many low-cal foods are packaged as two portions, not one. Without reading labels carefully, the purchaser might think he or she has hit the low-cal bonanza. Instead, calorie consumption is doubled, and the weight sticks around. How frustrating!

Low-fat does not mean low-cal. Sugar-free does not mean fat-free. Low-cal doesn't mean sugar or fat free... It could simply mean a really tiny portion size. These conveniences rarely help.

Sugar free soda presents its own challenge. Obviously, it's comprised of chemicals -- and I just can't imagine those are good for anyone. Chemical issues notwithstanding, researchers believe that sugar-free sodas do the exact opposite of what we expect. The soda's sweetness tells the brain that sugar is on its way. The sugar doesn't arrive and our bodies end up craving it more. I'm not an expert. I'm not saying the research is right. I do know when I've eaten sugar-free (usually accidentally) I'm not satisfied. My mouth just wants more.

The solution? Read the entire label carefully and select prepared foods wisely. Read the portion size before sitting down to eat. Understand the real calorie count.

Better yet, cook and freeze at home.

• We make our own pasta sauce. I use one half of the recipe at the time and freeze the other half for another day.
• We make and freeze our own jam (that might have been helpful information back in June and July when strawberries were fresh). I cut the sugar by about 50% without adding artificial ingredients.
• We cook several pounds of boneless, skinless chicken breasts and freeze what we won't use that week. No preservatives, just cooked right and frozen immediately. 
• Make meatloaf two at a time. Eat one now (not a whole meatloaf. Please share.) Freeze one for later.

Many cookbooks offer an eat one-freeze one recipe section. These recipes are available online as well. The meals are usually simple to prepare and great for families. 

To substitute for that all desired soda? How about fruit infused water? We enjoy mango-water, lime-water, lemon-water, peach-water... just about any fruit works. Simply place some sliced fruit into a pitcher of water and chill for several hours. We peel citrus first so the bitter rind doesn't affect the taste. The natural fruit flavor will infuse the water with delicate sweetness. Refreshing and flavorful. And healthy!

I ran across this verse recently, and it reminded me that I am responsible for the care of my body. "Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?" (Job 12:12)

Healthy eating is an informed choice. It leads to healthy living. Wisdom. And long life.


God bless,
Love,
Karen