Pass the Baton

This weekend, my husband and I attended leadership training at our church. The recurring theme was "passing the baton." In a relay race, the baton must be passed correctly and safely or the team will be disqualified from the race. I've seen that happen -- even at the Olympics. Highly trained runners missed out on the chance to win the race because they mishandled the pass.

As I listened, I saw again how important it is for me to lead my children well. Every day, I share my values -- whether I speak them or live them. Some days, I speak my values and live the opposite, creating confusion. The Bible warns parents not to "exasperate" our children. (See Ephesians 6:4). Is anything more exasperating than being inconsistent?

I teach my kids to speak respectfully and not yell at each other. Two hours later, I walk in the kitchen to find the milk left on the counter, dirty dishes all over the counter and the garbage can overflowing. I bellow, "Kids. Get. Down. Here. Now." For a good dose of clarity, I lecture for ten minutes about laziness, slovenliness, and selfishness. I dropped the baton.

It's not just about yelling. Have you ever driven carelessly when you're angry -- zigging out of traffic recklessly when you'd never do that calm? Have you ever complained when things aren't going right, blaming others -- maybe your husband who's not even home -- for your miserable situation? Have you ever "quit" -- parenting, homeschooling, cleaning, cooking?

I've done all of the above. More than once. I am not a perfect mom!

Each time, I create confusion, exasperating my kids. Why should I expect them to respect each other when my words don't show respect? Or to stay calm and trust God in crisis if I don't?

What's a mama to do?

We need to realize we are not perfect -- and never will be. Seriously! That perfection pursuit can drive us crazy -- talk about stress! Instead, let's pursue God's grace and forgiveness. And model that for our kids -- asking for their forgiveness when we mess up.

In the Beijing Olympics, the British team was disqualified for mishandling the baton pass. Team members could have "attacked" and blamed. But they didn't. Craig Pickering, whose error disqualified the team, owned his mistake. They moved on.

As a mom, I can think of no better baton to pass -- love and grace that comes from Jesus. Learn to forgive. Seek forgiveness. Learn to let go of mistakes -- those you make and those that others make against you.

I'll never be a perfect mama. But...

I can still pass the baton.