College Weekend Recap

I know you all are on pins and needles waiting for this update! Rob and the younger kids did great. They even gave the dog a hair cut and cleaned the water in the fish bowl. NICE!

Nathan, our friends, and I had a fabulous time at Belmont. The University is located in the south end area of Nashville, right by music row. The campus is beautiful and the school runs its own recording studio -- we even got a tour. Awesome! We ate at the Pancake Pantry (as seen on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives). We had popsicles at Las Paletas (as seen on Throwdown with Bobby Flay and Kid in a Candy Store). We had incredible burgers at Burger Up. It was the ultimate foodie roadtrip! You'd have to work really hard NOT to have fun there!

Nathan liked Belmont, but it's not his first choice.

That surprised me a bit. How do you say "probably not" to a school that offers an incredible music program, restaurants galore, gazillions of student groups and activities, and a Best of the Best band showcase (all student band competition that goes on all year)? Not to mention a basketball program good enough to make the NCAA tourney? With so many opportunities, part of me expected my "city mouse" son to sign up then and there.

But, it's not Samford. Where the faculty already know him by name. Where the admissions department offers suggestions for high school senior year courses to best prepare him for life after high school. Where they take the time to send personal, hand-written notes. Where the entire faculty, including school deans, show up at preview day events.

Belmont was nice. It would offer a great education. He would have plenty to do -- and no problem gaining that freshman fifteen. But it didn't have the same, relational connection that Samford does. As Nathan checks schools out, he is learning that relationships matter -- to him they matter a lot. So it looks like my city boy will be moving to Birmingham in a little more than a year. The big city, yes... the big, sleepy city. I think it's a wise choice.

Next step: scholarships to pay for it all!!!

A Bowl of Soup

Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country,

famished. He said to Jacob, "Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I'm famished!"... Jacob replied, "First sell me your birthright."

"Look, I am about to die," Esau said. "What good is a birthright to me?" But Jacob said, "Swear to me first." So he swore an oath to him, 
selling his birthright to Jacob.

Genesis 25:29-33

I read this passage recently and it won't let me go. Jacob, opportunistic, steals his brother's birthright. How could one brother do that to another? Horrible. Weak, spiritually and/or physically, Esau caves in. He eats the stew and regrets the decision the rest of his life. Genesis 25:34 says, "So Esau despised his birthright."

I can't imagine loving my brothers so little -- taking from them what is rightfully theirs. It would be like walking into my brother's home and taking his kids as my own. Or selling his wife. Unimaginable! 

But it's Esau's choice that really haunts me. He sold his birthright -- a double portion of his father's inheritance and the role of patriarch of the family. Remember, his daddy was Isaac, the firstborn son of Abraham. He had land, lots of land. Livestock. Camels. Concubines. Servants. Wealth. Esau was the firstborn son of the firstborn son. He would have become patriarch of the entire clan. He would have become the great-great-great-great (X24 or more) grandfather of Jesus. 

He gave it all away. For a bowl of soup.

Like Esau, God has a birthright for each of us. He created our inmost being, fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:13-14). He has a plan for our lives, a plan to give us hope and a future. (Jer. 29:11). Yet, we, like Esau, give up that plan for nothing more than a bowl of soup.

God blesses us with academic skill. Instead of applying ourselves, we settle for "good enough."

God blesses us with physical talent. We give it up for a twinkie.

God blesses us with His Word. We give it up -- never opening the Bible to read.

God blesses us with a wonderful marriage. We give it up, investing instead in television, the golf course, hanging out with friends after work, pornography, selfish anger or facebook.

God blesses us financially. We decide it's not enough. We give up God's blessing and reach for our own, ultimately drowning in debt. For what? A few extra pieces of clothes in the closet. Dinner out because we just don't want to cook. A brand new car to keep up appearances.

Every day, we make choices like Esau. We choose here and now. Never giving the future a chance.

We have another choice. We can choose to seek God's will for our life. 

Paul wrote, "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified." (1 Cor. 9:24-27)

Instead of giving in to the here and now, we can keep our eyes focused on God. The plan He has for us. The life He desires for us. He has given us a wonderful birthright. He gave us Jesus. 

Isn't life in Christ worth more than a bowl of soup?

Memorial Box Monday: Happy Gotcha Day, Ellie!!!

Reposting from last year. Six years ago today, we held our sweet baby girl in our arms the very first time. Nothing much has changed in the past year, except now she reads, writes, understands addition AND fills our house with more love and laughter than we ever could have imagined!!! I love you, Ellie, and I always will. ALWAYS!!! God sure gave us a huge blessing when He gave us you! (Sweet girl, I am FINALLY working on getting all the precious photos into an album all about you :D)


From the moment God called us to adopt, our entire family was consumed with the effort. To raise money, our sons walked dogs, washed cars and pulled weeds for the neighbors. God blessed Rob with a temporary second job - that came to him. He didn't have to look for it. We ate a LOT of peanut butter sandwiches!

Finally, it came. We flew from Beijing to Guangzhou the morning of March 28, 2005. At the hotel, we were herded into a conference room awaiting room assignments. I pulled out my camera to snap a photo of the guys goofing off and my camera wouldn't work. Can you imagine?

Hours away from meeting our daughter, probably the most anticipated day of my life, the shutter wouldn't open. After some panic, yes - I freaked out a bit, Rob and I finally remembered to pray for it. We didn't pray so much as we begged. "God, please... let us get pictures today. Please."

We got our rooms and headed upstairs to freshen up for the big event. It wasn't all that refreshing. We had to gather all the required documents and force down a snack. It's not easy to eat when your stomach is doing flip-flops. I insisted on a final photo of us as a family of four... if the camera would let us. I situated the guys on the couch, set up the camera, sucked in my breath and pushed the on button. Voila! The shutter slid open and we got the shot.

We hurried downstairs to the bus for the drive across town to our little girl. They herded us into the dreary office building, up a couple flights of stairs, and down a hall. We passed Chinese women holding little bundles of love in their arms. Had I just passed her in the hall? My mind filled with thoughts of the moment. Meeting her. Would I recognize her when they carried her in? Would she cry? Was she big? or little? Cuddly?

Then we waited. And waited. And waited. (We really didn't wait too long. It just felt that way.) The dads arranged to videotape for each other so we could catch every precious moment. And then....

The babies arrived.

Thankfully, Ellie was one of the first couple babies they brought in. I did recognize her immediately. She cried. So did I. So did the guys. She was little. Tiny, in fact, and oh so sweet.

We have photos of it all. Thank you, God, for answering our prayer about the camera... With thankfulness, I place a copy of the first photo ever snapped with Ellie into our Memorial Box. The tears came just seconds later... and flowed for quite a while.

Memorial Box Monday started at "A Place Called Simplicity." A friend of mine introduced me to it, and I love it! love it! love it!!! Memorial Box Monday provides an opportunity to remember all the good things God has done. Huge, gigantic things and little things that might seem insignificant. God's word is clear: "Cast every care on Me, for I care for you." (1 Peter 5:7).

College Visit!!!

Hello bloggy friends,

Nathan and I are road-tripping to Belmont University this weekend. I can't believe a year from now we'll be planning a graduation party. WOW! He's growing up quick.

I love this kid!!! :)

Please join us in praying:

• safety as we travel there and back,
• wisdom and insight -- is this the college God wants him to attend,
• fellowship -- we're traveling with friends from church, yippee!!!,
• and peace, patience, wisdom and understanding for Rob as he holds down the fort with Ben and Ellie. Ben has lots of homework this weekend. Ellie will be stuck inside with all the rain. Should be a fun time!

Thank you!!! I'll let you know how it goes.

Love,

Karen

Your Help Needed

Hey friends,
I've had an amazingly blessed week. Monday, I won a $10 gift card to Walgreen's. Really! Our family participated in a 5K run for Haiti and I won a prize. Cool!!! Yesterday, I won a blog makeover and I'm so excited! Really!

Can you help me out on the makeover? Liz Barber at Simply Sweet Designs is doing the makeover. She asked me to give her the url to some blogs that I really like. Well -- I like lots of blogs and I need to narrow it down. That's where I need your help.

Tell me one of your favorite blogs -- please include the full URL so I can check it out. AND include what you really love about the blog.

Thanks for your input!

Still giggling at this blessing from Jesus!
Karen

Closing the Gap - Take Three

Dear friends,

NOTE: If you've already read this post once, please reread it. A dear friend pointed out an important aspect that was missing. I never want to mislead anyone AND I don't always get it right. I'm thankful for friends who will speak to me in love. I'm more grateful for a loving, forgiving Father! God bless!

At my women's Bible study group last night, one of our members asked the tough question: How do I forgive myself when I keep making the same mistakes?

We make mistakes. We lay our sin at the foot of the cross for Jesus. Then, we pick it back up and throw it on our back, carrying it through life. Again and again. It's so hard for us to give it to God and leave it there.

We make mistakes. We ask God to mold us into who we are really meant to be: patient, loving, kind, slow-to-anger, quick-to-forgive, generous... on and on. We ask for wisdom. Help me be an encouraging mom, not a dictator. Help me be a loving wife, not a judgmental nag. Help me be a supportive friend, not a snooty, gossipy, petty woman. (Maybe we're not so honest in our prayers, but we are getting there.)

One of the women responded to the question.... She shared (and gave me permission to share with you) that in her 20+ years of marriage, she spent most of that time focused on her husband, specifically his flaws. She was good at pointing them out, often in a condemning, anything-but-loving way. Eight years ago, she found Jesus. She accepted His love for her, but her attitude toward her marriage didn't seem to change. She still got angry. She still pointed out his mistakes. She focused on what he needed to do better. She used to believe that she'd always be that way, unable to change.

In the past couple years, though, she has discovered an important part of being a Christian. She realizes that while she still "nags" her husband, her marriage actually has changed. She explained that she still finds herself judging him and complaining about him. They still have fights and she hears horrible words tumble from her mouth. But, she realizes that while she isn't the wife God calls her to be, she is closing the gap. She accepts that God forgives her when she blows it. She focuses on her spiritual growth. And she tries again, knowing God is right there by her side, encouraging, rebuking and loving her every step of the way. She explained to the group that while she isn't there, she can look back on the past eight years and see how far she has come. She notices that there are times, lots of times, when she does hold her tongue. She realizes that her first thought isn't always to condemn, but to love. For that, she is thankful.

This dear lady understands that perfection is not ours this side of heaven. Rather, we are to press on, continually striving to become more like Jesus. She is learning to live like Paul in Philippians 3:12, "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."

Dear friends, do you find yourself focusing on everything you do wrong? We all make mistakes. We all have sin in our lives. Why not focus instead on where Jesus is taking you? Celebrate the victories. Rejoice in the progress. Accept His forgiveness. Thank Him for helping you close the gap!

If you struggle to forgive yourself or to understand God's forgiveness, please read this post from Inverted Planet.

With much love,
Karen

Only a Friend would know...

Hey bloggy friends,
Yesterday, I told you about my very un-birthday weekend... and my plan to redeem it all, thanks to Humpty Dumpty. If you missed it, you might want to read it to fully appreciate the next "episode."

About an hour after the UN-Birthday post, there was a knock at the front door. My husband answered  and the boys peeked around the corner to see who could possibly be at our house at that time of day. Seriously, no one comes to our house at 3:00 in the afternoon.

We hear Rob talking in a friendly tone, so it's not a solicitor. The boys ask if we're expecting something from fed-ex or UPS. Nope.

Then he shuts the door and walks into the kitchen... holding these:

"Daddy, did you get Mommy flowers?" No... I wonder if he's thinking with all the fuss and excitement if maybe he should have. (HINT HINT)

One of the boys asks, "Are you sure they're for Mommy?" HELLO???? Don't I deserve beautiful flowers? Every day, even???

They start guessing all sorts of names. Grandma. Grandpa. Friends from Ohio.

I open the card and LAUGH!!! One of those gut-busting laughs that just feel good.

The card reads, HAVE A VERY HAPPY UNBIRTHDAY!! (All caps, for real...) From a dear friend at church who tickled my heart with joy. I think UN-Birthdays just might catch on.

"A friend loves at all times..." Proverbs 17:17

A Very Happy UN-Birthday Year!!!

photo © 2006 Edward Russell | more info (via: Wylio)

'It's a cravat, child, and a beautiful one, as you say. It's a present from the White King and Queen. There now!'

'Is it really?' said Alice, quite pleased to find that she had chosen a good subject after all.

'They gave it me,' Humpty Dumpty continued thoughtfully as he crossed one knee over the other and clasped his hands round it, 'they gave it me — for an un-birthday present.'

'I beg your pardon?' Alice said with a puzzled air.

'I'm not offended,' said Humpty Dumpty.

'I mean, what is an un-birthday present?'

'A present given when it isn't your birthday, of course.'

Alice considered a little. 'I like birthday presents best,' she said at last.

'You don't know what you're talking about!' cried Humpty Dumpty. 'How many days are there in a year?'

'Three hundred and sixty-five,' said Alice.

'And how many birthdays have you?'

'One.'

'And if you take one from three hundred and sixty-five what remains?'

'Three hundred and sixty-four, of course.'

Humpty Dumpty looked doubtful. 'I'd rather see that done on paper,' he said.

Alice couldn't help smiling as she took out her memorandum book, and worked the sum for him:

365
    1
----
364
----

Humpty Dumpty took the book and looked at it carefully. 'That seems to be done right —' he began.

'You're holding it upside down!' Alice interrupted.

'To be sure I was!' Humpty Dumpty said gaily as she turned it round for him. 'I thought it looked a little queer. As I was saying, that seems to be done right — though I haven't time to look it over thoroughly just now — and that shows that there are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents —'

'Certainly,' said Alice.

'And only one for birthday presents, you know...'

From Through the Looking Glass, by Lewis Carroll.

I love birthday celebrations as much as I did when I was a kid! Last Friday, I looked forward to celebrating my 45th birthday with close friends, good food, and an amazingly stupendous birthday cake. Sadly, my husband -- who never gets sick -- got strep throat and came home from work at 9:15 a.m. There went the party. After all, who'd want to eat a strep infected cake? No matter how delicious it might be. Certainly strep is not a good party favor! My friends understood and sent me texts, emails and FB messages to make up for it. My sweet kids -- and miserably ill hubby -- apologized and gave me "happy birthday anyway, mom" wishes. 

But it doesn't change the fact that I love a birthday party!!! Much like dear Alice above. 

This year, though, I think I will look forward to celebrating like Humpty Dumpty, all the un-birthdays I can... 364 would be awesome... Of course, I don't want to be as round as he is, and there is some danger of that if I celebrate with too many of Rob's delicious cakes. But I think, just maybe, a happy un-birthday each day, with a gift thrown in for good measure, just might make me forget that I never got my happy BIRTHDAY party!!! Maybe.

Feel free to share this post with my husband -- he may choose to pretend he didn't see it :)

Embracing 45, the good, the bad and the in-between,

Love,

Karen

Happy Birthday, Allie!!!

Today is my birthday! My sweet husband made an incredible cake, from scratch, with chocolate ganache filling and vanilla buttercream. I can't wait till tonight when we get to eat it! I've grown up a bit so instead of eating the whole cake myself, I'm even going to share with friends and family. YUM... Pictures in another post later, so you can drool too.

Allie and me. Our self portrait at the beach last summer.

The only thing that would make this day better is if I could celebrate with one of my favorite people in the whole world, my God-daughter, Allie. She was born on my birthday (I think that is soooo cool!!!!) 15 years ago. Before her arrival, she was supposed to be Sarah. I remember her mom calling to say she'd arrived and asking how our little Sarah was doing. She surprised me by saying, "She's not Sarah. She's Allison." She went on to explain that she just didn't look like a Sarah, so they changed her name.

Allie, you are every bit your name. Sarah, a beautiful name, couldn't have kept up with your spunk! My prayer is that this year will be filled with more joy than you have ever known. May God continue to keep you healthy as you play sport after sport after sport! Most of all, may you grow even closer to Jesus. Thank you, God, for bringing Allison into our lives!

Have a fantastic birthday, sweet girl.

I love you.
Love,
Karen

How about some Chinese? YUMMY recipe!

photo © 2007 Scott Waldron | more info (via: Wylio)

Ben and I got creative with dinner planning yesterday. We wanted Chinese, but we had a roast in the fridge... so we made Fusion Pot Roast - a blend of East and West. A WINNER!!!

Ingredients:
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 cup beef broth
zest of one orange
juice of one orange
1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper (or more if you want a bit more heat)
1 tsp. powdered ginger
1 clove garlic, minced
2 Tbsp. corn starch

3-4 lb. rump roast (or your favorite pot roast or what's on sale)

Directions:
Mix the first eight ingredients together and set aside. Brown the roast and place in a crock pot. Pour the liquid over the roast and cook on low 6-8 hours or high for 3-4 hours until tender. Before serving, shred the beef in the sauce.

Serve with rice and steamed Chinese vegetables (bok choy, onions and broccoli is a great combination!)

Absolutely delicious.

Laundry Day

photo © 2007 Renee | more info (via: Wylio)
My dear husband took our little one to the grocery store. The boys were at church. I was, blissfully, home alone... with piles of laundry. Some people love to do the laundry. Seriously, it's their favorite chore. Some people can't stand it. Those dirty clothes seem to reproduce in the basket and the job never ends.

I'm somewhere in between, I guess. I don't love laundry. I mean, really, stinky teenage socks? ICK! I don't hate it either. As the piles of clean clothes stack up, folded and fresh, I can see my accomplishment. Laundry is laundry.

Until yesterday.

I loaded the bathroom towels into the washer and had a little room left. I trotted upstairs to check bathrooms for any towels that might have been left behind. In the kids' bathroom, three washclothes lined up side by side on the towel bar. They looked cute. I know -- washclothes aren't cute.

But they were.

As I pulled them off the bar, I broke out in a huge grin. It suddenly hit me. No one will ever know that I took a couple extra minutes to get those washcloths. They won't notice when the linen closet is restocked with clean towels. They'd notice if we ran out, though. In that moment, my heart changed. I suddenly realized that laundry is a labor of humble love.

Perspectives

Ellie's first words this morning were "Mom, do you want to hear the bad thing that happened last night?"

Ummm... not sure sweetie. I'm thinking I'd rather pretend that you were perfect angels last night while Daddy and I enjoyed our date night. Okay, Mom. Focus. This is your kid. Find out the horrible news. Mental battle quickly resolved I ask what happened.

"We were playing on the trampoline and Emma's mom called her." Lost focus again. I start thinking what did you do to Emma? I'm a bad mom before my morning coffee!

"Uh-Huh." I keep my reply simple.

"When she got out of the trampoline, I bounced out and hit my tooth on the table." I'm thinking her teeth look fine to me.

"And my permanent tooth is loose."

Now, I'm waking up. "Which tooth?" I ask.

"This one." YAY!!! Yippee!!!! It's not actually a permanent tooth. It's one of her crazy bonus teeth -- she has an extra set of pearly whites in that little mouth of hers. We anticipate eight years of braces and lots of other expensive, painful dental work.

"Ellie, it's okay if that tooth gets loose. It's one of your bonus teeth and it needs to come out anyway."

She asks, "What happens if it falls out now?"

Sensibly, remember this is before coffee, I explain that the tooth needs to come out so her real adult tooth can come in. I explain that the orthodontist will be happy when it falls out because that means there's room for her real adult tooth.

"But what happens if it falls out now." It may be the need for coffee, but I really thought I explained this already. I explain again.

"Yeah," she replies, "but will the tooth fairy give me money for this tooth?"

Fertilize it!

The weatherman told us that Monday would be warm. It was, a nice warm 83 degrees. He also told us that the rain was coming. It did, about 5:30... and it stuck around for a while too.

Trusting that Greg "O" Fishel knew his weather, I decided to get the early spring fertilizer out on the lawn Monday morning before the rain came. I filled the spreader with the "stuff" and walked the yard, back and forth, in nice neat rows. My goal? To grow the grass of course! And to kill the weeds! Those stinking weeds creep in from everywhere trying to take over the yard. I hate it! Yes, hate is a strong word for weeds, but they really don't look nice.

Anyway, as I was walking back and forth, I began to think, "Why am I doing this?" More accurately, I started thinking, "Why isn't Rob out here doing this?" "Why didn't he get out here yesterday?" You know, bad wife thoughts... condemning my man while I did "his" work.

We've been married a fairly long time, almost 21 years, so I know that when those thoughts creep into my mind like weeds into the yard, I better do something about them. So, I changed my thoughts. Yes. That simple. I chose to change what I thought about my husband.

Instead, I prayed. I told God (nobody else was around, so He -- the ever-present listener would have to do) all the things I love about Rob: that he cleans house, cooks, works hard for our family, cares -- really, truly cares -- about his patients, plays with the kids, reads to Ellie, doesn't complain when I want to go away, encourages me to get out with my friends, and does laundry. Simple. I counted my blessings.

Then I remembered why I was doing the fertilizing in the first place. Saturday, Rob held down the fort (really he was a fully involved dad) so I could attend a women's conference. Sunday, he invested in the kids and me, choosing a day of rest (so Biblical) and play instead of work, work, work. Oh yeah... then God reminded me that we couldn't fertilize on Sunday without seriously inconveniencing ourselves about the dog. She can't exactly go run around in dry fertilizer.

I've been mulling the whole conversation with God over in my head ever since. It seems that maintaining a healthy marriage is a lot like maintaining a beautiful lawn. You've got to:

1. Fertilize it. The lawn gets chemicals (and manure and mulch and limestone). A marriage needs fun, respect and effort.
2. Kill the weeds. Without attention, the weeds creep in and overtake the lawn. Without attention, the bad thoughts about our spouse and frustrations over "bad" habits creep in and overtake the marriage.
3. Invest the time. A lawn doesn't fertilize itself. Rather, it needs dedicated time, focused on the work of fertilizing to help the grass grow. A marriage won't fertilize itself either. It takes dedicated playtime, work time, prayer time and relationship time to grow a healthy marriage. I know to take my negative thoughts captive because I have invested my head and my heart fully in my commitment to Rob. It's a worthwhile investment.

Rob, I am sorry I dared to think bad thoughts. I love you and appreciate everything you do, everything you give and everything you are to our family. We are truly blessed that God put you at the head of this household. I love you! Always and forever.

My Testimony: Beyond the Box

All my life, I’ve known God. When I was little, I saw Him as a protector. As I got older, my image changed. I saw God more like the hard rock carved with the Ten Commandments, a stern father with a long list of do’s and don’ts. I spent a lot of energy trying to be perfect and hold it all together. I exhausted myself making sure I excelled at everything I did. When I became a mom, I poured every ounce of energy into making our lives look perfect. Behind closed doors, I cried. I screamed. I was terrified of failure, and it ate at me. 

Then, I hit rock bottom. The little bit of faith I had was shaken to the core on September 11, 2001 when the twin towers crumbled. This wasn’t supposed to happen in the US. I couldn’t eat or sleep. My young children needed me, but I was glued to the TV, terrified that something worse would happen if I didn’t keep watch. I told my husband over and over, just get me to church on Sunday so I can understand this. Then I’ll be okay.

Sunday came. We went to church and huddled together in the back row. The pastor prayed for the old people of his congregation. As an afterthought, he added “and be with the people in New York.” That was it. His sermon didn’t help either. He preached about the importance of the old people in the church and never mentioned the tragedy in New York. The next couple months were quite similar. We’d go to church. We’d leave. Always wondering. Where was God? I finally gave up looking. 

One Sunday, I begged my husband to stay home. I said I’d give church “just one more try,” if he’d just give me a glorious family day. He lived up to his end of the bargain, so I went to church with him, not expecting much.

God had a surprise for me. From the moment we walked through the door, this church was different. People greeted us genuinely. They helped us get our kids settled in their classes. The pastor shared how important it is for the church to be the hope to the hopeless. God was there, and He had a whole sermon prepared just for me! I wish I could say in that moment my life changed 100%, but it didn’t. That day did mark the beginning of a beautiful journey with Jesus. 

My whole life I had put God in a Karen-sized box, small and manageable, a list of do’s and don’ts. Sitting in that church I dared to look beyond my box for the first time. I discovered a God who forgives, loves, cares, and heals. I discovered the One True God of hope. It’s been almost ten years since I first walked through those doors and God’s changed my heart. I can’t hold Him in anymore. His love is just too big for my box.