Sleepless nights...

The "what ifs" kept me up last night. Grrrrr!!!

I thought I'd conquered that one, but no. Life goes to a new place and the door to what if land creaks open again. After trying not to toss and turn for a couple hours, I migrated to the couch...

...With short detours to do a load of laundry and take the dog out. She, apparently, defines morning as whenever I get out of bed! Interestingly, I could hear the trucks on the highway about a mile away. I don't hear them during the day. The noises of an awake neighborhood drown them out.

So, back to those thoughts. During the day, the "what ifs" don't bother me too much. My mind is filled with chores, work, kids, and life. There's no room for the "what ifs." Why do they sneak in during the night when I should be sleeping? It's like the quiet in my home allows the noise of my mind to be heard, just like those trucks on the highway.

But... I know that the "what ifs" aren't healthy. Why couldn't I quiet them last night?

Here's where the truth hits me square between the eyes. I don't enjoy getting slugged by the truth. The "what ifs" creep in when I take my eyes off God. And that's exactly what I've done. Again.

Will I ever learn?

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things." (Phil 4:8) God doesn't want me to worry -- which is exactly what the "what ifs" are. It's like I posted earlier this week in It's No Secret!,  I need to remember what God has already done and trust Him with the future.

Sleepless nights... worry... the only thing good that comes from that is some clean laundry!

Praising God... trusting Him... that leads to peaceful slumber! I have to spend some serious time with Him today if I want a good night's rest tonight.

The same is true for tomorrow too. :)

It's no secret!

At dinner with friends recently, they asked -- as so many do -- how did you end up adopting Ellie. We shared the story: God's call, His miraculous provision financially, the timing of everything, and more. We explained the issues Ellie had once home, and our unique training and experience that helped us identify her struggles early and how her therapist discovered the key to our son's issues. The story builds our faith with each retelling.

Our friends listened to all the "gory" details. Then, the husband friend said, "And I thought you were going to tell us you wanted to rescue her.... and it turns out, her story is all about how God rescued your family."

Isn't that just like God, though?

He sent Jesus as our rescuer. Our salvation. Our hope. Our joy. We don't carry the burden.

Sometimes, though....

We forget.

Mired in the moment, we forget all God has done. We forget how He rescued us before. We forget the joy that comes with new salvation -- with freedom from the binding shackles that once held us down. We get used to the freedom and take it for granted.

Today I read two verses that remind me how important it is to remember all the many blessings God bestows. These verses occur toward the end of the plagues on Egypt, where God uses the plagues to prove his power over Pharaoh. Exodus 10:2 says, "you may tell your children and grandchildren how I dealt harshly with the Egyptians and how I performed my signs among them, and that you may know that I am the LORD." In Exodus 12:26-27, God reminds the people again, "And when your children ask you, ‘What does this ceremony mean to you?’ then tell them, ‘It is the Passover sacrifice to the LORD, who passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt and spared our homes when he struck down the Egyptians.’” God wants us to remember his power displayed in our lives. He KNOWS we won't remember if we don't keep telling the stories.


Our lives are a living testimony of God's power, but if we don't share the story, we will forget. 


Let's tell the stories, to our kids and grandkids. Share God's miracles with anyone who will listen. When we pass it on, others gain strength from our testimony. 


God doesn't want us to keep him a secret. 

"Where is your faith?"

Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.

Nathan enjoyed his visit to App State. He loves the program and the campus. He likes having friends already there and all the activities available to students.

He enjoyed his visit to Samford University too. Great program, though they don't offer his specifically desired major which means he'll have to do the major-minor thing. Not too bad. Incredible professors. Beautiful campus and friendly students.

Of course, Belmont offers not only his preferred major, but the premiere location -- Nashville. The heart of music recording and production.

Right now, he's feeling the stress of the decision. If only he could put Samford's campus and piano professors in Nashville with his friends, the activities, and the food from App State. He can't lose wherever he goes, but the decision will not be easy. (HINT to anyone from the school admissions office who might be reading this... scholarship offers will weigh in heavily!)

Coffee in hand -- Feelin' Collegiate!

I've been his sounding board as he processes the decision, listening as he weighs and reweighs the pros and cons of each school. It's time to bring in the expert. Jesus. In Luke 8:25, Jesus asks the disciples, "Where is your faith?" as the wind and water rage around their boat. Jesus calmed the stormy sea for them. He will do the same for Nathan.

My advice to my son, and all the students making weighty post-graduation decisions, is this: Trust Jesus. He will calm the storms raging in your head as you make your decision. He will lead you, just as He promises in Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL YOUR WAYS, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."

Pray.
Wait.
Listen.
Go.

As Romans 8:31 puts it, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" God is bigger than this decision. He wants the very best for you. He will lead you to it!

Prayerfully,

Where have I been?

Hey my bloggy friends!
Did you miss me?

This past week has been insane!!!

Sunday and Monday, Nathan and I took road trip number three to Appalachian State University. I can't imagine how crazy life would be if he was considering more than three colleges!

His first impressions of App State:

• Nice people!
• Great food court... Okay, that "great" must be qualified to say "Great food court compared to all the other food courts encountered but still nowhere near home cookin'!"
• Incredible program. He's considering their recording and production program.
• Wow! Hilly. But so is Samford. No big deal.
• It's nice having friends on campus.
• App State beat Michigan in football... what's not to love?

My first impressions of App State:

• Boone, NC is a tiny town!
• Nice campus... can I have a solarium at home???
• I can get here in less than a day. Yippee!!!
• Friends. Friends. Friends. So comforting to know he has friends here already.

So.... you may be wondering... Nice to hear about college and all, but where were you the rest of the week? (So narcissistic I know)

I was sick!!! Lay in bed and don't move sick! YUCK!!!! Thank you, Jesus, for waiting till Monday night to let that happen. We would have had a tough drive home if I felt that bad all day long.

Anyway, now I'm back...

Cheering for Nathan is my newest mommy role. Get those honors applications done. You can do it!!! Polish off those audition pieces... after all, November 11 is just around the corner. You can do it!!! 

My friends, I went to law school. My dear husband graduated med school and survived residency. Neither of us went through all the hoops my young music major must endure to get into these programs. Either college in general has gotten a lot tougher.... OR music majors are made of strong stock. I'm impressed with his focus and determination.

Can't wait to see what happens next!

Back to my regular posts next week.

Love,

"But you..."

Last weekend, our Pastor's wife shared the sermon, speaking on pride from 1 Corinthians 13. As is our custom, we shared what we heard (and hopefully learned) over lunch. Hands down, this sermon generated more incredible discussion than any other... ever! (Feel free to listen here (10/9) or watch here (10/9). But come back to discover what we learned!)

Her sermon included a "Pride Test." Let's just say, it left no toes unstomped! We're thankful to have our eyes opened to our prideful tendencies, though. Proverbs 24:3-4 says, "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." I can think of no greater treasure than the family God has given me.

Our family was challenged by each of these points. We're speaking and serving one another in love and humility. We've been transformed!

Would you like more love and peace in your family? Maybe you will find yourself in this list. If you do, take steps to change... all it takes is one open discussion at the dinner table and a bit of humility!

The Pride Test:
Do you?
1. Complain against or pass judgment on God (blaming him for everything bad in your life) OR acknowledge that God is God (and trust him, good or bad)?

2. Demonstrate a general lack of gratitude (I deserve all the good things I get) OR thank God and people often?

3. Exhibit anger (outbursts, withdrawal, pouting, or moody) OR seek to live in peace with all people?

4. See yourself as better than others, easily irritated and impatient OR recognize that you are no better than anyone else (BUT FOR the grace of God you could be....)?

5. Think you're more important, more gifted and/or more talented than others (a legend in your own mind) OR genuinely glad for others' successes and blessings?

6. Suffer from perfectionism (concerned with appearances and how others perceive you) OR teachable, recognizing that perfection is not possible?

7. Talk too much (the center of every conversation -- it's all about "ME") OR encouraging, seeking ways to build others up?

8. Fight for independence and control (struggling when you must submit to authority) OR gladly submissive and obedient to those in authority?

9. Shift the blame or act defensively (not willing to ask forgiveness, justifying your behavior -- I'm sorry for ____, BUT YOU....) OR quickly admit when you're wrong and seek forgiveness without justification?

10. Offer your opinions and preferences, even when you aren't asked OR speak the truth in love?

Yep, lots of toe stomping!!!

Our family though has not heard:

• "But you..." once this whole week!!! "But you" was a permanent resident of this home until Sunday.... "But you" has been joyfully evicted! We're thrilled.
• "How can I..." has moved in. "How can I" is a much friendlier resident. "How can I" brings a smile to our faces and a joy to our hearts.

Wisdom, understanding and knowledge are filling our home with beautiful treasures! 

May your home be filled with the same!

God bless!

A Brother's Love

After tucking the kids into bed last night, Ellie got sick. Again.

Before I could run up the stairs to help, Ben (usually her nemesis) got to her first. When I got to the bathroom, he was there. Standing behind her. Holding her hair in a ponytail to keep it out of her face. Saying, "It's okay. You're okay. Don't fight it."

They DO love each other!
Yippee!

They might fight a lot,
but they love each other too!

The Conundrum I Married

God has this great plan for marriage! He partners couples together to balance each other out. Think about it! If you're out-going, I bet your spouse is quieter. You like to have a balanced checkbook, but your spouse doesn't care one way or the other. You're the playful parent, and your spouse is the disciplinarian. Or vice versa.

I married a doctor.... I hadn't set out on marrying a doctor. Not at all. Since seventh grade, I had my heart set on marrying the kind, red-headed trumpet player who sat in front of me in band... He happens to be the afore-mentioned doctor. ;-)

I told you he's cute!

Here's the thing... doctors take care of sick people. It's their job. Right???

And my doctor-hubby happens to be pretty good at it.

Except.

When.

The.

Kids.

Puke!

Really!!!! Whoever heard of a doctor who couldn't handle a little bit of vomit? Blood. No problem. Infections. Piece of cake. Other horribly disgusting things that he's banned from discussing at the dinner table. Easy-peasy. But puke. Everyday common throwup??? No. He can't do that.

Alas... Our daughter is sick. With -- you guessed it -- an upset tummy. She also hates to throw up. Bad combination!!! She fights it -- runs to the bathroom -- too late. And I'm scrubbing walls, toilet, and the floor. Multiple times.

Why?

Because the doctor can't handle it.

Yep. He's a conundrum.

Good thing he's also a cute red-headed trumpet player!!!

Making a difference: One mom, one child at a time

I've been pregnant twice, both times were challenging.

The first time around wasn't too bad until it came time to deliver... then, my son got stuck. He couldn't come out and they couldn't push him back. His heart dropped into the 30's with every contraction. Eventually the doctor got him out. We were blessed! My complications happened in a hospital with all sorts of medical staff and equipment available to give my son the best shot at life. He's seventeen now, about to graduate high school and go on to college.

The second time around was tough! I spent most of my pregnancy on bedrest. Each day, three times a day, fancy equipment hooked up to my phone to monitor contractions. Several times, they got frequent enough that I'd go to the emergency room for care. Our son arrived during my 36th week of pregnancy, healthy and strong. Hours after his birth, though, I began to hemorrhage. My OB rushed me off to emergency surgery, no doubt saving my life.

Much of the world doesn't have this same type of care. Had I given birth to my first son in a third world country he would probably have died. The second time around, I would most certainly have died if I wasn't at a hospital with surgical suites available. It's a sobering thought...

But for the grace of God....
Who allowed me the chance to live in a thriving community....
With excellent health care....

Some of my family, maybe even me, wouldn't be here today.

I'm truly thankful.

Yet my heart breaks that not everyone has the same chance at healthy birth that we do here in the U.S. Won't you check out the Million Moms Challenge? Let's pray for our world.... and support moms who don't have the same shot we do.

A New Perspective

For as long as I can remember, I've had trouble with my right hip. During summer band camp in high school, I never finished out the week. By Thursday, I couldn't march -- and could barely walk. Through my adult life, it's been much the same. Traveling by plane, my right leg swells. A long day at an amusement park or hiking in the mountains always ends with hip pain so severe I can't even sleep on my right side.

My men on Apollo's Chariot

A couple weeks ago, a friend and I were talking about my "wonky leg" when another friend, a physical therapist, walked up. In ten seconds -- or less -- she commented, "Do you know your right leg is longer than your left leg?" (Yes... I do. Not a lot longer. Just a smidge, but she could see it.) She recommended that I put a lift in the heel of my left shoe. And I did. The first couple days, I developed pain in my left, lower back. Nothing serious -- muscle tightness. Then it was gone.

This past Saturday, we went to Busch Gardens. I expected the pain to return (we drove there 3.5 hours, walked 12 hours and drove home another 3.5 hours... a recipe for hip pain for sure!). Yet, the pain did not come. Nor did the swelling in my leg.

The kids patiently posing

My whole life, I've thought I was stuck with this bum leg. Not so bad I can't function, but something I've accommodated. I was so wrong! My friend saw it differently. She didn't look at the pain, she looked at the source. And now, I have no pain. WOW!

The same process is true for the pains of our hearts. I used to claim that I'm a yeller, because that's just the way my parents raised me. It's just who I am. Yet, I know that God is love. He wants me to train my kids in His love. Now when I yell, but I know it's my choice not to follow God's Word to speak the truth in love. And I apologize for yelling.

E-squared: Ernie and Ellie 

We can live day to day, managing the "pain" in our lives, or we can ask God to reveal the source of our pain AND ask His help to overcome. Satan wants to trick us into thinking that "this is just the way life is." When we do that, we give up on God's best for our lives.

God's word promises us that He has a plan for our lives, a plan to prosper us and not to harm us... a plan to give us hope and a future! Let's claim that plan by curing the cause of our heart pain and filling our hearts instead with God's love.

Feeling hopeless: Romans 15:13
Feeling lonely: Deuteronomy 31:6
Feeling anxious: Philippians 4:6-7
Feeling defeated: 2 Corinthians 4:8
Feeling grief: Psalm 23:4
Feeling worried: 1 Peter 5:7

God loves us. He wants the best for us. Ask Him to reveal the source of your pain and replace it with his love.

In Christian love,

Pizza Soup

It's fall. It's football season. It's time for...

Soup!

Of course!

One of our family favorites is Pizza Soup. Quick to make. Quickly eaten!

Ingredients:

1 lb. of sausage
Optional: Pepperoni, diced. 1/2 lb. of ground beef.

1 garlic clove, minced.
1 onion, diced
2 carrots, diced
2 ribs of celery, diced

1 large can of diced tomatoes
1 jar or can of prepared pizza sauce

1pint of chicken broth

Shredded mozzarella cheese

Prepare:

1. Brown the sausage in a large pot. (Brown other meats at the same time if adding them).

2. Add the garlic, onion, carrots and celery. Cook for a couple minutes, just till the onions start to clear.

3. Pour in the tomatoes, pizza sauce and 1 cup of chicken broth (Add more broth if needed as soup simmers)

4. Bring to boiling, then reduce heat and simmer 30 minutes (Can simmer for longer -- add broth if needed)

Serve:

Ladle into bowls and top with shredded cheese!

Enjoy!

Time: a generous gift

When my world was falling apart, a dear man invested his time and heart in our family. He offered my husband encouragement and a listening ear. He challenged me to stop wallowing in my pit and turn my eyes to Jesus. His love for our family was the lifeline to Jesus that we needed... and I've never been the same since. (He tends to downplay the impact he made -- he's humble like that -- but I wouldn't be where I am without the time he invested in us.)

Time!

When we invest in others, we offer them the gift of time. We make a choice to give up something we can never get back so that someone else's life might improve. And yet, there is no greater feeling than giving to another. Our hearts fill with joy. How is that possible?

Galatians 5 13-23 says, "You... were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' ... So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious:... selfish ambition... and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Did you gloss over God's word just now? If you did, please go back and read it again.

Selfishness looks at time as mine. I don't have time to listen to her problems. I don't have time to cook them a meal. I don't have time to do... whatever.

Love looks at time as a gift. Yes, I'll meet you for coffee and prayer. Sure, I'll cook a meal -- when do they need it? Yes, I'll pick up those school supplies for needy kids.

A friend of mine told me about a little boy who wiggled his way into his heart. This little boy lived with his dad -- mom ran away. Then dad was murdered. Little boy lives with grandma, who works two jobs to provide for him. This man saw an opportunity to make a difference. He meets with the boy once a week, spending six hours with him, sometimes more. Just a friend, investing in a young man -- and his grandma. He shared that some days the little boy wears him out -- he's tempted to take him home early. Then he remembers that grandma gets one six hour break each week. He grins. He listens. He invests... for six hours. Sometimes more. Each week.

That man has a daughter. She recently shared with him that she realizes the value of a loving father. She sees the difference he makes in a little boy's life. And it fills her heart too.

Here's the amazing truth about time. When we give it, in love, our hearts grow full. The love spills over and impacts the world beyond. When we hoard it, selfishly, our hearts grow cold. Nothing spills over. No one is changed.

Time is our most precious gift. It's the cost we "pay" for loving. But, the dividend is immeasurable.

How will you use your time today?

iPhone 4 S

Watching the morning news while I sipped my dearly loved coffee, I cracked up at the iPhone hubbub! Apparently, iPhone fans have been anticipating the release of the iPhone 5. They're disappointed that yesterday's unveiling is "merely" an improved iPhone 4.

Really?

My smartphone, the "lowly" iPhone 3 -- no S -- has served me well these past 2.5 years. It handles all my calls and voicemail, texting, Facebook and twitter needs. I'll admit, the pictures aren't all that great... and sometimes it freezes up. But not too often. And... those freeze ups teach me patience.

Clearly, I lack techie passion!

Empowering those in debt to reduce their personal debt and live within their means.
Replenishing the stock of homeless shelters and food pantries so that homeless families can eat.
Tutoring and mentoring our nation's kids so that they're equipped for adulthood.

These are important issues.

Yet, the iPhone 4g S (really -- what do all those little letters mean?) takes top billing. Actually, the whiners who aren't happy enough with this technological wonder take top billing.... Really?

Let's look at what's important. Coffee.... Nah, just kidding. People. That's what matters. Not phones. Not selfish greed.

Learn more about volunteering at the Boys and Girls Club: http://www.bgcma.org/volunteer

Friends, do something today that MAKES A DIFFERENCE!!! Bless a homeless man with free lunch. Buy a bag of non-perishables -- a GIANT BAG -- and bless a food pantry. Register with your school district to become a volunteer -- and read with an ESL (English as a second language) student, or tutor a little guy in math, or help the young kid with ADHD learn how to straighten out his desk. Whatever you're good at, some kid in your local school needs to learn! Not available during school hours? How about volunteering at your local boys and girls club? Or your church after-school recreation program? Or the YMCA?

Learn more about volunteering at the "Y": http://www.ymca.net/volunteer/

Let's do something that matters.... That's newsworthy!

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness! No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.”

Matthew 6:19-24

"Do you want to hear what happened?"

I shared Ellie's stand for God yesterday -- her insistence that saying "Oh my God" is swearing.

Throughout the day, I read your comments and my heart smiled again. I quipped to a friend, "I wonder if she'll even remember what she did this morning."

She got home from school and we checked her bag like we do every day.

"Ellie," I said, "Let's talk about what happened at the bus stop this morning."

"What thing, mom???"

"You know... the kids saying 'Oh my God'."

Her eyes grew wide and her face looked a little scared. "But Mom... I wasn't the one saying that. Really, I didn't. I love God. Really, Mommy, I do." The words gushed out... (Hmmmm, should I have begun this conversation differently?)

I stopped her and assured her that I knew she didn't say it. "Ellie, I'm proud of you for standing up for Jesus. I heard you tell the other kids that they were saying a bad word."

Startled, "You heard THAT?" (Ahhhh.... my mommy ears are now as powerful as those eyes in the back of my head.)

"I did hear that. You did a great job. I am proud of you."

"Oh... thanks... Mom, do you want to hear what happened to my friend at school today?"

There I was reveling in her big moment... What does she do? "Mom, do you want to hear what happened..."

Friends, my little girl's pure heart is absolutely challenging me this week! She did the right thing because she loves God. The end. No big deal. She didn't stand up to the other kids to gain approval -- she didn't even know I could hear her. She didn't stand up to the other kids just to prove a point -- she pointed out their error and didn't lecture or preach. Oh my gosh!!!!

What does my heart look like compared to that? Not great! I lecture and discuss far too much with my kids, when I should just state my case and let the holy spirit finish the job. I love to receive praise -- sure, God did it through me. But inside, I like that praise. I admit it.

Where's your heart, dear friends? Do you do the right thing because you think people are watching, or do you do it for Jesus? Do you do the right thing hoping for praise and recognition, or do you do it for Jesus?

And he said: "I tell you the truth, 

unless you change and become like little children, 

you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 18:3

OMG!

When Ellie heads off to the bus stop each morning, I open the living room window to watch and listen.

At the bus stop this morning, some kids were goofing off. After a bit, I heard some loud exclamations of "Oh my God." I listened closely -- is that Ellie's voice chiming in there? Hmmm.... She knows we don't use God's name like that. I made a mental note to discuss the incident with her after school tonight and leaned my head against the window pane. This parenting stuff requires non-stop vigilance. And it's only Monday!

The clamoring died down...

And then I heard....

"Don't say 'Oh my God.' That's the same thing as a bad word." I jerked up and stared intently at the crowd.

There she was, all 41" of her first grade self, standing her ground. One of the big boys, easily two heads taller than Ellie, stood over her, leaning forward as he exclaimed, "Oh my God is NOT a bad word. You're crazy."

She didn't back down. She looked up into his face, "In my family, we don't talk about God like that! It IS a bad word, especially if you love God."

At that moment, the bus appeared. The group chant, "Bus. Bus. Bus." silenced the discussion. Everyone lined up, neat and orderly. Ellie looked over to my window and waved. And off she went.

I still plan to discuss this incident with her tonight... Only now I look forward to it.

These commandments that I give you today are to be

on your hearts. Impress them on your children.

Talk about them when you sit at home and

when you walk along the road, when you lie down

and when you get up. Deut. 6:6-7