Ridiculous Resolutions

My son's morning tweet says "Time to consider my New Year's resolution. My current top three are to start smoking, gain 240 lbs, or befriend a lion." He got me thinking of other ridiculous resolutions.


I have never heard anyone say, this year I will...

• spend less quality time with my family.
• forget about budget and planning. It's the year to spend, spend, spend.
• focus less on others and focus instead on ME! After all, I AM amazing!!!
• start hoarding!

I don't make any resolutions at all. Not really. Instead, I look at the new year as an opportunity. A clean slate to make better, wiser choices than I did in the year before. I do ask God for help, with a simple end-of-year prayer: 


Dear God, Please show me the parts of me that need to change. How can I live healthier, wiser and more lovingly? Amen

Then I listen.

Last year, God reminded me that I have never read the entire Bible. I started that journey -- and I've only made it through the book of Exodus. It's not that I don't read the Bible daily. I do. (Almost) As I read, though, I find myself cross-referencing verses and dwelling on passsages for days. That's the way God wired me, so I'll keep plugging along. Maybe I'll finish the next three books in 2012!

How about you? Do you have a resolution, ridiculous or not? Share yours in the comments below.

Happy new year, everyone!

Love,

Peace at Christmas

I'm having a tough time with Christmas posts this year. I had a plan -- I loved my plan. But life interrupted. Not the fun life of bows, wrapping, songs, baking, movies, playing. Our Christmas was interrupted by real life. Painful lessons we all must learn but no one really wants to go through. What happened isn't really important to this post. (If you're curious, sorry... That is a story for another day.) What we learned from it is priceless.

1. Christmas is NOT about gifts! We spend so much time shopping, paying, wrapping, stressing... over gifts. I'm learning this year how very misguided that really is. What if you had no family to buy gifts for? What if you were all alone this Christmas?

2. Treasure the gift of family! We take each other for granted. We focus on "my" instead of "our" or "you." Am I really going to have to listen to Uncle George's pontifications again? Or deal with Grandma's snide comments all day long? Whatever... is it really so bad to put up with that for one day? Instead of focusing on the one person who drives you crazy, why not take time to look at the blessing of family. What joy have these people brought into your life? How have they put up with you, despite your flaws and imperfections? Be thankful your family loves you in spite of you!

3. Remember the Prince of Peace! Christmas is the celebration of our Savior's birth, but Jesus didn't come down here as a baby and stay that way. He came and grew into a man, to preach and teach -- in word and action -- of God's love, forgiveness, hope and peace. Christmas is simply where the gift begins. Will you receive his gift -- relationship with him that covers all your sin and leads to eternal life?

This Christmas more than any other, Jesus' peace is the gift I most cherish. My heart has been so heavy, but His peace is filling me and comforting me.

Whatever burdens or hurts you carry this Christmas, I pray you will know that Jesus was born for you. He wants to fill your heart with the same peace He's giving me.

For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor,

Mighty God,

Everlasting Father,

Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:6

Ellie's Prayer

Rob worked late last night. Ellie offered our dinner prayer instead.

Her prayer:

Dear Jesus,
Thank you for our yummy dinner. Help it to be good for us. Thank you that I am here. Thank you that I have a family.
Amen

My sweet girl.

Jesus with Skin On

Hey friends,

Ellie, 6, serving at With Love from Jesus

Have you ever heard that phrase, "Being Jesus with skin on?" It's a cute way to say "live out" Jesus' command to love God and love others. That's my challenge to you! These last two weeks before Christmas, won't you show your love for Jesus by loving others the way He would?

Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Don't complain about the guy holding up the "will work for food" sign. Instead, carry granola bars in your car glovebox to share. 
• Adopt a family! Not sure where to begin? Ask your church secretary. No doubt your church has received many calls from desperate families this Christmas. Why not be Jesus (or Secret Santa) to a family? An easy shopping guide: buy each child a new shirt (right size/favorite color) and a special wish item, and buy mom and dad a bag of non-perishable groceries. It costs only $100 to radically bless a family of 6 this way! :)
• Listen! Many people, especially women, struggle emotionally at Christmas. They know it should be the happiest time of the year, but it's not. Carrying past hurts or dealing with the winter blues, many women struggle to survive the Christmas season. Not you? Offer her a hug and a prayer -- for peace and comfort during this difficult time.
• Remember! Most of us know someone who lost a dear loved one during the year. Take a moment and write a card letting them know that you haven't forgotten. Pray for them, asking God to fill their heart with memories to cherish and comfort this Christmas. Don't forget their loved one or their pain. They haven't forgotten -- and need to know it's okay to be a little sad.
• Have a friend who's been out of work for a while? Offer to pay their December electric bill (or gas or water). If you have a job, you're already blessed! Pass it on.

Love others like Jesus loves. Be Jesus with skin on. Isn't that what Christmas is all about?

Merry Christmas!

MBM: Remembering

A note to Linny,
Thank you for helping me REMEMBER the good things God does and for your encouragement to us all to share them. I see the blessings now more than I ever have. Next week, I'll be sharing a NEW MBM story, but today, I remember this one. It's one of the most marvelous mommy provisions God has ever given me.

A full tank.

Don't miss the blessings!

I (HEART) Texting

Yes, it's true. I realize it's not as personal as a phone call. I can't hear the emotion or inflection so messages can be misunderstood. But I still love text messages...

With close friends and family.

Like today.

I texted my hubby (whose job doesn't really fit with phone conversations) that we need to eat more fruits and veggies.

His reply: Eat oranges, not apples. Have citrus here, will bring more and eat with sandwiches.
Me: Why do oranges help more than apples? (I'm obviously lost)
Him: The apples are for dinner. But oranges do help fight scurvy. A common condition among pirates such as yourself :-)

(Insert laughter, mine)

Me: Aye matie!
Him: Ha. Good answer.

(Insert laughter, his)

A great conversation had -- over time -- while I cleaned house and supervised schoolwork. He fit his part in between patients.

What's not to love about a slow-evolving conversation?

TTYL! LOL

Must Read

Hey,
Did you notice? It's Christmas time!!!! I know, I know. It's impossible not to notice.

Christmas ads on TV (Who, by the way, has ever gotten a brand new luxury car complete with big red bow? Tell me... I want to be on that Christmas list!)
Neighborhoods twinkle in the crisp, evening air.
Household clutter disappears, replaced with Christmas clutter.
Caroling? Anyone?
Parties.
Baking.
Shopping.
Wrapping.
Recitals.
Parades.

Whew.

Stop. Just for one minute. Read this: Unwrapping Jesus.

Then go back to your regularly scheduled chaos.
Love,

Fabulous Friday!

Here it is... my last day home alone. I admit, I've loved it for the most part. Ben begged Wednesday night, Thursday morning, Thursday night and this morning for a reprieve today, "Just a day early, Mom." He pointed out that Rob only works half a day today, so it's only "a half day early.... PLEASE!" Nope. Not giving in.

Why? 

Two reasons. One, I've given in previously. This time, I am not backing down. He was warned that negative behavior would result in a long, boring week at Dad's office (hats off to Dad for allowing the inconvenience and maintaining that boring environment). Even though Ben longs to wrestle with the dog, shoot baskets and run on the elliptical, he will have to wait until 1:30.

The other reason is selfish. I have plans this morning.... and they don't include him. Is that wrong? As a mom who understands how precious and few our time with kids really is, should I welcome him home early? Or is it okay to be selfish?

So here I am... my last day home alone. I've been productive, but not as productive as I would have liked. Monday, the week loomed ahead, large, empty and promising. I was going to clean the office, wash the kitchen cupboards, wrap ALL the Christmas gifts, clean my bedroom for real, rearrange the furniture, and make a run to Goodwill. None of those got done! Today? Maybe. Probably not.

I guess there will be time for all that stuff once the kids all move out. For now, I'll keep savoring quiet moments in between the hugs, jokes and jabber that let me know we are a happy family.

Have a fabulous Friday, friends!

Home Alone

This week, my son is at work with dad. That means I am home alone. Bliss!

With all the uninterrupted time on my hands, I've been able to prepare yummy dinners like herbed pork tenderloin with homemade cranberry chutney, chicken paprikash with homemade spaetzle, and london broil sandwiches with roasted potatoes. Yummy! Hearing my husband's comments as he walks through the front door, absolutely delightful.

Yesterday, we were treated to sunny, 70 degree weather. It's December! I attacked the front porch, batting down the cobwebs and washing the windows till they're squeaky clean. Our flower pots, the plants long dead, have been emptied and cleaned, now stored away on the shelf in the garage. I even remembered to pull up the doormat and sweep below it. When Rob walked in the door last night, he asked who did it. With a big grin, I answered, "That would be me!"

Not missing a beat, he turned to Ben and declared, "That's it. You're coming to work with me every day!" Ben's not in agreement.

I have to say, uninterrupted time to read the Bible and talk with Jesus (yesterday, I read three whole chapters), is wonderful. Moving at my own pace without having to stop to teach or direct my son is productive. Not having to correct or reprimand is awesome.

But, the house is quiet... Sometimes too quiet.

I miss having my buddy along when I run errands. He's my copilot -- and my brain! I forget things when he's not with me.

I miss my Christmas movie loving guy and our big bowls of popcorn when we "rest" in the afternoon. (He and I studied Mexico a few years ago and think the afternoon siesta is awesome!)

I miss our funny conversations. His brilliant, creative mind leads us into interesting discussions, like how to invent hover-cars that use the yellow lines in the streets as sensors. I miss his never-ending questions about the lessons he's learning at youth group.

While I have two more days "off," I'm looking forward to the return of boisterous Ben! All that stuff I'm not doing this week is what makes me "Mom." And I love being Mom.

Ho-ho-holiday stress!

Paul told the Philippians, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Of course, that was 2,000 years ago, before Christmas really got going. Paul didn't have to juggle his regular responsibilities, plus Christmas shopping, baking, kids' school programs, office parties, church gatherings, tree lightings and parades. He didn't have to figure out how to blend your Christmas and my Christmas to make our Christmas -- hopefully without offending the grannies!

Paul didn't know.

But God did! Ecclesiastes 1:9 says, "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun."

We think we have stress. What about Mary? Stress one: telling her family she was having God's baby. Yeahhhhh..... sure. Stress two: breaking the news to Joseph. Stress three: very pregnant with cankles, she rode a stinking donkey across the country! I complain when I journey in my environmentally controlled car with adjustable seats, stereo, pillow and cup holder.

When they finally got to Bethlehem, Mary's situation did not improve. No place to stay.... Oooooh, if my husband planned a trip and forgot sleeping arrangements he would be toast! Talk about stress. How about having a baby in a stable, surrounded by stinky pigs, horses and donkeys? We freak out if our baby's pacifier hits the kitchen floor. Can you imagine giving birth in that filthy place?

As usual, God's right. There is nothing new under the sun. We head into the holidays excited, yet dreading. I think Mary might just understand. When the angel first came to her, she was "greatly troubled at his word and wondered what kind of greeting this might be." Can you hear her, hands on hips, saying, "Dude, what are you talking about? That makes no sense!"

The angel replied, "Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus." Mary's response? Pure peace and grace, she answered, "I am the Lord’s servant... May your word to me be fulfilled.” (Quotes from Luke 1:26-38, NIV) 

No stress I face compares to what Mary endured to give birth to the love of Christmas. No stress you face is greater than hers either.

Rather than freak out as we tend to do, let's adopt an attitude more like Mary's.

• When the tension and anxiety start to build, stop! Breathe deeply and slowly.
• As you breathe deeply, pray, "I am your servant, Lord. Let your love fill me and flow through me. Fill me with your peace."
• Keep praying and breathing until God's peace fills you!

To endure the trip, Mary must have been healthy. Let's make healthy living a priority as well.

• Drink coffee, soda, tea (caffeine) only in the morning, and only one or two cups. Caffeine throughout the day builds and creates an artificial anxiety which leads to more anxiety -- a vicious cycle!
• As the day winds down, drink a cup of chamomile or "sleepytime" tea to settle your stomach, your nerves and your mind. Winding down at day's close improves sleep. Better sleep leads to greater ability to make decisions to manage the stress.

My guess is that Mary didn't fill her time on that donkey talking about crime rates and other horrors of the world, instead filling the time talking with Joseph and others in the family. Why do we look at the negative?

• Turn off the news. (If you, like me are a weather junkie, flip on the news at the quarter hour. You'll still get the report without the sensational headlines!)
• While you're at it, shut off the crime-filled drama shows and reality TV. These shows are specifically designed to build tension so you stay glued to the channel. The real world is not filled with crime after crime after crime, buildings and warehouses blowing up in cities across the world, or mass murderers in every neighborhood. (Yes, these things do happen, but not like the shows suggest). 
• Instead, spend time with the family. Decorate cookies, play board games, watch a FUN Christmas movie together, make cards for Grandma. Focus on the blessings God has given you!

Ho-ho-holiday stress does exist. God knows. He really does! Just as He got Mary through the stress of that first Christmas, He WILL see you through it too.

May the love of Jesus fill your heart, your mind and your home this special season.

Love,

Child Discipline... As easy as 1, 2, 3

If you believe that, send me $100. I promise, I'll turn it into millions! (Note to the feds: This is not a Ponzi scheme. I do not intend to collect any money whatsoever.... so move along. Investigate the guys driving $100,000 cars with tax forms saying they make $40,000/year. Thank you!)

What was I saying? Oh yeah.... Child discipline. It's NOT as easy as 1, 2, 3. If it was, God would have put the instructions in the Bible: The 10 commandments of child discipline. Right next to the original 10 Commandments. That would have been nice.

Instead, God gave us these wonderful verses:

• Psalm 139:14, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
• 1 Corinthians 7:7, "...But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that."
• Ephesians 2:10, "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Each one of us is uniquely created, knitted together by God with gifts and a plan that is as individual as we are. No two people are alike. We know that as adults, but we expect cookie cutter kids. It just doesn't work like that. They're born to be them. Each one different. Each one a special gift from God.

Yet we try -- hard -- to find the discipline method to ensure they turn out okay, to know right from wrong and actually live it. We google the web to discover techniques on how to teach our kids hitting is bad, how to overcome tantrums, or help the picky eater learn to eat even one vegetable. 

We'll never find the answer on the internet. Never.

Child discipline... As easy as 1, 2, 3 is really more about us than them. 

1. Are we willing to ask God to show us our children's hearts? To teach us to address each one uniquely and specifically as He designed them?
2. Will we allow God to reveal our own hearts to us? The fears, the dreams, the expectations we place on our kids. Unfairly!
3. Will we open our hearts to being transformed, no longer conforming to the ways (the methods) of man? Will we allow Him to fill us with His will for our lives as parents?

Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." Even in discipline, we must open our hearts and minds to God. We must listen to His instruction and seek His guidance for each child and each situation.

There is no "easy as 1, 2, 3." Really, if life was that simple, wouldn't it be boring?

Take a minute today to praise God for your kids' unique gifts. That little personality that drives you batty will one day influence the world. Ask God for wisdom to understand how your feelings influence your parenting expectations. Thank Him for your precious gifts, even in the moments you want to strangle them! 

Lots of love!

The Mailman

Have you ever had one of those oh-no-I-forgot-to-get-this-in-the-mail mad dashes to the mailbox hoping against hope that you beat the mailman to your box?

That happened to me Saturday. As I ran out the front door, I saw the mail truck just three houses away. Happy dance! I beat the mailman (ours is actually a mail lady). YAY!!!

I waited for her at the end of the driveway. When she got to me, I said, "I thought I had missed you." She chuckled and said, "Christmas season mail always slows me down." Then she handed me three catalogs and the rest of our mail.

Walking toward the house, I flipped through the non-catalog mail. Nathan got a big envelope from Belmont University (big envelopes from colleges are good). I ran.

Sadistically torturing me, Nathan painstakingly opened the envelope. He read the cover letter. Carefully. Slowly. I am certain he's never read a textbook that thoroughly, not even a page of a textbook! Next, he flipped open the folder that came with the letter and vigilantly explored that material. True torture.

Watching and waiting, not so patiently, I realized something profound: every aspect of our lives is shared with the mailman. Or mail lady.

It probably starts with the wedding, mailing our invitations to friends, family, and the people we don't know but mom insists on adding to the list. The mailbox fills with responses: yes, no, maybe. There's no mistaking those small response envelopes, though.

A few years later, birth announcements come and go. The box fills with diaper coupons and children's life insurance offers. Toy catalogs arrive. Christmas card deliveries, with pictures of our growing children tucked proudly inside, swell during the early child rearing years.

And now... college mail. Inquiries from schools across the country started appearing early in Nathan's sophomore year and the volume has grown exponentially with each passing semester. Now, updates from the schools he actually applied to arrive and of course, the big envelopes. 

Next will be high school graduation announcements and then, soon after, care packages, lovingly packed, will be sent from our box to his.

Through it all, the mailman is there... a quiet, essential part of our lives.

Taming of the Tongue

If you read my last post, you know that Britt's kind words and attention refreshed me. It wasn't what she said, so much. After all, there are dozens of peppermint bark recipes online that I can try. It's that she chose to see me -- right where I was, tired and weary. She noticed something about me -- a love of peppermint bark.

Why?

Because Britt chose to speak kindness and love.

The past few days around our house have been tough. Kids testing boundaries, speaking harshly to one another, lying to the parents, and griping and complaining about everything. Exhausting!

Normally, I'm strong -- at first -- choosing not to scream in response. Then they wear me down. I lose control. We all fall apart. I'm not supposed to be that way. James 3:2 says, "If we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and  could...control ourselves in every other way." James cautions us, in verse 4:11, not to "speak evil against each other."

Screaming at the kids is definitely evil. There. I said it. God does not intend me to raise my kids by screaming... no matter how justified I feel. His word says, "Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting and conflict." (Proverbs 17:1)

Thanks to Britt's example, which I consider a gift from God to strengthen me when I needed it, I've held my tongue better, speaking more calmly (notice I said more calmly.... I'm a work in progress.)

You know what?

The kids have noticed! Last night, one of them apologized for pushing and pushing and pushing. This one accepted the corrective discipline with a pleasant attitude. Yes, truly pleasant! Tucking in another one, I said, "You know we don't want it to be this way, right? We love you. We want your life to be filled with fun and friends." The response, "I know. I don't like it, but I know you love me." Whew. I think we'll be okay.

I have not been the perfect mom this week. But, I'm improving. And so are my kids.

I'm grateful that God took the time to offer instruction in parenting. I can't imagine what this tongue would say without Him!