Memorial Box Monday: Caring enough

A few years ago, I found myself disgruntled at church, impatient with my leaders, and in general, not happy. The community which once brought so much joy into my life became something I resented. I found myself wondering why do I have to do all this? Why aren't they working as hard as I am? Why isn't my leader feeding me?

Have you ever felt that way -- wondering whether leaving to find a new church home with a better environment might make you happier?

Maybe not at church. Maybe you've considered leaving your spouse to find your true soul-mate. Maybe you've toyed with leaving your job because your work environment doesn't make you happy.

Sometimes, change is necessary. Sometimes a church is not healthy. Sometimes a spouse is abusive (seek counseling and support if your marriage is dangerous to you or your children). Sometimes we outgrow a job and need to move on or to move up. Sometimes.

But most times, when we get all bent out of shape, it's not them - it's us. It's our own attitude.

That's what happened to me. My pastor teaches and preaches consistently that church is a community of imperfect people. He consistently reminds us that our own relationship with God is where we really grow -- he and the church leadership can't be Jesus for us. He humbly shares his own struggles.

When I slipped into the pit of dissatisfaction, I was ignoring him. Worse. I was ignoring GOD. Instead of reading my Bible and praying daily, I looked to my own leader to be built up. I had replaced God with her -- not worshipping her, but expecting her to fill me up through teaching, encouraging and spoon feeding. (Early in our marriage, I sometimes put my husband in the same position. Wisely, he told me he can't be Jesus for me. Detecting a trend here!!! ICK)

It would be like my teenage son expecting me to feed him dinner each night, literally spooning each bite into his mouth. Depending fully on me to nourish him. Do you know how long it would take to spoon feed a growing teenage boy?!?!? YIKES!

My leader tuned in to what was going on with me. She confronted me. Not that it was easy. I remember us sitting in a room together, her leg bouncing nervously. Eyes averted. Yet, she spoke lovingly, finally telling me she couldn't be Jesus for me.

She cried. I cried. I apologized. Our relationship was restored. More importantly, it moved me back into my relationship with God.

Now when I start to feel restless, at home, at church, with the kids, or whatever, I recognize that I have grown slack, less time in the Bible. Less time praying for my own understanding and growth. Less time lifting friends up to God. It's always the same. I bounce back quickly, putting my priorities back in line.

That experience taught me a lot about many things. First, how valuable my own relationship with God really is. Second, how beautiful the gift of genuine friendship is. Finally, how important it is to look honestly at the situations I find myself in -- and ask God to reveal the lessons He has for me.

Why do I include this experience in my Memorial Box? This period in my life was pivotal to my spiritual growth. I learned humility. I learned a precious lesson in forgiveness - how beautifully healing forgiveness really is. I learned a valuable lesson in friendship - my friend cared enough about my relationship with God to risk our friendship. God knew I needed to change. He knew my needs and led me to peace. Even when I didn't know I needed it!

1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your cares on Him (Jesus) for He cares for you." Even if we don't realize our needs, God still cares. I am thankful for Christian friends who care enough about me to make sure I always keep my eyes on Him! I am thankful for Christian friends who care enough to pray. This week, I will put a picture of my friend and me to remind me of this valuable lesson in Christian living.

Memorial Box Monday started at "A Place Called Simplicity." A friend of mine introduced me to it, and I love it! love it! love it!!! Memorial Box Monday provides an opportunity to remember all the good things God has done. Huge, gigantic things and little things that might seem insignificant. God's word is clear: "Cast every care on Me, for I care for you." (1 Peter 5:7).