The Source of Forgiveness

Yesterday, I shared admitted that I was a pretty rotten kid! I judged my parents and held wrongs against them for years. Those wrongs festered in my mind, filling me with hurt and contempt. I didn't see my parents for who they really are.

Finally, I forgave. I give all the credit to God. A friend of mine questions me whenever I give God the credit for any victories in my life. I can almost hear him ask, "Why give God the credit? Aren't you the one who forgave?" Sure. I forgave.

However, without God, I wouldn't have forgiven. I had tried it all.

I blamed my parents. I felt guilty.

I pushed my feelings down. That made me sick.

I took anti-depressants. They didn't work.
I went to counseling. That helped clarify some things, but didn't lead me to forgive.
I complained to friends about my life. They got tired of me.

When I gave it to Jesus, my heart broke free. It's not quite a feeling, certainly not one I can adequately describe. It's far deeper than that.

John 10:10 says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Most of my life, I convinced myself that I had a tough life. I'm sure satan enjoyed whispering in my ear, telling me how rough and unfair everything was. I imagine him wringing his hands together, devilishly cackling each time I griped, knowing he had my heart all tangled up. Satan did all he could to steal my joy, kill my hope and destroy my relationship with my family. For my part, I bought in to the deception and distortion of my life and accepted them as true.

Jesus broke through the lies. He broke through the distortion. He came that I might have life, and have it to the full. Joy. Tremendous "lightness" of spirit. Freedom.

Hebrews 10:19-23 (NLT) says, "...we can boldly enter heaven's Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place. And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God's house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting Him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise."

Hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.


I knew Jesus wanted to heal my hurts. I knew Jesus wanted to carry my burden. I knew I held on tight to the darkness and pain. I knew I wasn't letting go. I stubbornly resisted letting go -- believing that the pain was a reality I just had to accept. When it finally sank in that God wanted more for me, I let go of the pain and trusted God to keep that promise.

He took my pain. He replaced it with hope, joy, healing, freedom. Now, I live in joy. My family is filled with joy (Not that we don't stumble. I am not perfect.) I am a new creation because Christ lives in me and through me.

Because He took my pain, my parents celebrated Christmas -- and nine inches of snow -- with us. It wasn't just that they were here. We had fun! We enjoyed sweet fellowship. We made memories I never expected would happen.

What God gave me is available to you, too. Hold tightly to Him with unwavering hope. Hand over your troubles and live life to the full. I'm praying for you, dear reader, that you will discover the joy that comes when you surrender your hurt and pain to God. Don't hold on as long as I did.

Much love,
Karen