Setting the Standard

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. 1 Tim 4:12

I've started this entry in my head so many times, and I'm still struggling to find the words to share my heart. Rarely, am I filled with joy, pride, sadness, conviction and anger, all at the same time!

Saturday night, my younger son's football team played their first - and last - playoff game of the season. His team got blown away by their opponents. At halftime, we all knew how it would end. Our guys, good football players with lots of heart, weren't quite up to the challenge their opponent brought.

I'm okay with the outcome. It's part of life - in competition someone always loses. It's even okay - not fun - but okay, that we were blown out. Sometimes that happens.

Here's where it falls apart. The coach, somehow, lost track of who had played and who hadn't. My son, in his final game in this league (he ages out), never got in the game. Not one play. With that, I still am not okay. His coach blew it. He did not do his "job."

Yet, if I share this, focusing on my anger and disappointment, I would detract from the poignant life lesson that I learned (am still learning) from my incredible son.

After the game, our team met at the 50 yard line to debrief. As always, we parents gathered around behind the team to hear what the coaches had to share. I positioned myself in eyesight of my son, expecting to see hurt and disappointment. We made eye contact, and I mouthed, "Are you okay?" He held my gaze (which he wouldn't do if he was super-angry), smiled slightly and mouthed back, "yes." Not what I expected...

After the team meeting, my husband and the coach spoke briefly. The coach said he thought he had played all the second year players, kind of passing the blame to the defensive coaches for not letting him know. He apologized to my husband, and we asked him to apologize to our son.

My son, regardless of whether he receives an apology, will be fine. As we walked off the field Saturday night, we asked how he was doing. He replied, "You mean because I didn't play?" Of course, dear boy. "Coach made a mistake. Whether I played or not, we would have lost. I had a great season and that's what matters." Whoa.

"We saw you trying to keep your teammates in the game." (If I could insert video, you would see a young man walking the sidelines cheering on his teammates through the entire game. He got in everyone's face and did all he could to keep the fight going). His reply, "We knew we were going to lose. If we didn't give up, we could lose by less than we did last year."

He adjusted the goal for his team. I think, for the most part, it worked. They sure fought to the end. He really was fine.

As I tucked him in bed that night, I checked one more time. "Are you sure you're okay with how the game went?"

"Mom," he answered in the most calm, quiet, sincere voice you can imagine, "I made my first solo tackle this season. I learned how to read the offense. I learned how to lead my team on the field (he was always adjusting the defensive backfield based on the offensive lineup - and almost always correct in the call). I got to play football."

Tears in my eyes as I type this... My little boy has become a young man. He understands better than I do that life is not about the disappointments. It's about the opportunities.

He got to play football.