Loneliness

Have you ever felt so lonely it overwhelmed you?

Your heart aches with a physical pain. Your gut turns. It's like you're hollow and there's nothing -- absolutely nothing -- inside.

I know the feeling.

In the midst of a crowded room full of people I know. Among women I call friends.

It's a horrible feeling.

God says:

• I have a friend who sticks closer than a brother. His name is Jesus. (Proverbs 18:24)
• "This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him." (Psalm 91:2)

So why do I get lonely -- even when I'm worshipping God? In a room full of people who I know care about me? 

Three pitfalls I've learned to avoid are:

Skipping time with God. When I spend regular, quality time with God, I don't get that lonely feeling! But, In crazy times, my own time with God sometimes suffers and I get lonely. I fill with doubts of my worthiness. I wonder if people really care. Satan gets in my head and hisses all those horrible lies to me.

Exhaustion. When I'm really worn out I might not want to expend the energy, but when I overcome my own lethargy, my feelings improve. I step out of myself and focus on someone else. It's as simple as scanning that same crowd with a prayer in my heart that God would lead me to a woman who needs encouragement in that moment. It's not about me. 

Overscheduling. With three kids, ministry responsibilities, and a husband to care for, my life can get squeezed out. I'm wired for friends though. I draw energy from girl-time. If I don't make time for friends, it won't happen. Now, I text "my posse" to make sure we have our seating worked out. These are the girls I love to worship with. The girls who laugh at the things I laugh at. Who sing with joyous abandon -- regardless of how our voices really sound. Who love Jesus, family, and friends in that order. Their very existence makes me smile on the inside. Our posse is ever-growing! We have no agenda other than to love, laugh, live, love, pray, encourage, love, and laugh some more. 

The antidote to loneliness is me. Living the way God wants me to. Loving in his love. Laughing, filled with his joy.