Truth - in love

...Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. Eph. 4:15

I blew it on Monday. One of my children made a few bad choices - not major decisions, but little things that indicated a lack of respect and honor for others. This child's actions affected both siblings and parents. And it made me mad. Really, really mad. I screamed in frustration at my child, definitely speaking the truth. Definitely NOT in love. I spoke - I use that term loosely - in a fit of anger. I ranted at my child. I blew it, plain and simple.

Another day this week, a friend of mine asked for prayer in a particular situation. She cautioned that her husband knew nothing of the prayer request. Warning bells rang in my head... Secrets in marriage can destroy it. I've seen it happen too often. "Don't tell my husband, but..." "Look at my new outfit (friend pulls bag from its hiding place in the back of the closet). I blew the clothing budget, but isn't it just the cutest?" "My husband would never understand..." 

I agreed to pray for my friend. Then I prayed about those warning bells, ultimately encouraging her to share her concern with her husband and cautioning her against keeping a secret from him. She received it well, explaining that she planned to talk to him later, but that it wasn't possible to tell him while he was at work. She thanked me for caring about her marriage and speaking in Christian love. 

The difference in dialogue with my child and with my friend really boils down to my heart. My child receives instruction and correction when I'm calm -- I know that, but I still messed up. If I had treated my child's situation the way I treated my friend, first stopping to pray for guidance, God would have provided calm in the midst of my anger. I would have spoken in love, building my child up to become more like Jesus. Instead, I tore my kid to shreds.

Why do I rant at my kids? Why don't I remember first to pray when they make mistakes (not always, but more than I ever would with my friends)? Why is it so much harder to do it right when these young people God has entrusted to my care annoy me? 

I know the answer, of course. At home, I get lazy. I get comfortable. I live in the routine -- and forget that God wants my family to be anything but ordinary. I assume they'll just understand and let it go. SO NOT FAIR TO THEM!!!

Today, I humbly ask God to forgive me (and I'll ask my child in just a moment). Help me, God, to remember that You gave me these children to raise to know You. Help me remember to speak to them in your love, just as I do with my friends. Forgive me of the hypocrisy I sometimes live. Thank you for being a merciful, forgiving God. Help me focus only on You. Amen