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Memorial Box Mondays are awesome! They remind me that God is always with me, in the smallest details. They remind me that He will always catch me when I fall, even when I make a complete mess of things. This week's post is one of those times...
Several years ago, I made a huge mistake in ministry -- dishonoring my leader and hurting our relationship. I've shared before how God restored us -- we are better and stronger than ever. WHY? Because God really does redeem our broken relationships when we are committed to Him, willing to humble ourselves, ask forgiveness and be forgiven. My friend confronted me in love. I responded in Christian humility.
But that didn't mean everything was fine. When we sin, we can be redeemed, but we must also accept the consequences of our sinful acts. I had to step out of ministry for a season. I was sincerely sorry for my actions, though, and God met me right there. Together, He and I worked through my pride and stubbornness. I really am not the person now that I was then.
One thing God did to help me in that time was provide free tickets to a Willowcreek Conference. I had gotten the brochure for the conference in the mail, but financially, we weren't in a position for me to go. Two of our kids were in occupational therapy. We were also paying for speech therapy and play therapy. Unfortunately, our insurance didn't cover any of it.
About a week before the conference, a friend called asking if I wanted to go. Do I? Absolutely! But it's not in the budget. She smiled through the phone -- you know what I mean. You can hear the smile fill someone's face. "Friends of mine at the host church have two extra tickets. My husband can't go. Will you go with me?" Would I? Oh my gosh. YIPPEE!
The conference was great. Each speaker spoke to my heart. I learned things about ministry and leadership that will help me the rest of my life. And then God showed off -- He had something even better in store.
Pastor Wayne Cordiero of New Hope Church in Hawaii stepped up to the podium. He shared about a time in ministry when he thought he was having a heart attack -- but the stress of his work had worn him down. He kept talking, explaining that for a very long time, he had been preaching sermons for the people but forgetting to let the word seep into him first. He'd grab a verse and throw it out there, but he wasn't taking the time to "put it in here" -- he pounded his chest -- first.
Right then, the dam broke. I bawled. Sitting in a giant auditorium full of professional and lay ministers, I cried. Cleansing tears, mascara running, sniffling, hiccuping.
Just a week after I got sidelined, God sent me the message of healing I needed. He reminded me that I am no good to anyone if I'm not close to him. I had felt like such a failure -- but God showed me I am not alone. We all stumble. We all fall. Without him, we can't finish the race.
God knew I needed to hear Pastor Wayne's message that day. He provided those tickets. He made sure I heard this message of healing. I bought a CD of that sermon. I will put it in my Memorial Box to remind me that God will always pick me up when I fall.
If you don't know what Memorial Box Monday is, it all started here: "A Place Called Simplicity." A friend of mine introduced me to it, and I love it! love it! love it!!! Memorial Box Monday provides an opportunity to remember all the good things God has done. Huge, gigantic things and little things that might seem insignificant. God's word is clear: "Cast every care on Me, for I care for you." (1 Peter 5:7). By the way, "YIPPEE!" has become one of my favorite words. It comes from Linny too. Thanks Linny! I think of you every time I say it or write it. :)
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2 comments:
Wonderful story of redemptive healing....Thanks for sharing it with us all.
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