"All the kingdoms of the world"

Again the devil took Him to a very high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and the glory of them; and He said to Him, "All these I will give you, if You will fall down and worship me." Then Jesus replied, "Begone, Satan! for it is written, 'You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you serve.'" Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him.

Matthew 4:8-11

This week marks our daughter's first full week of kindergarten. She boards the bus at 8:15 every morning, spends a fun-filled day with her friends (Seriously, she doesn't even realize she's learning. She enjoys the whole thing!), and returns home about 4:00 in the afternoon. We expected it to wear her out. Instead, she arrives home, bubbling over with energy, ready to play and explore some more.

Nathan's junior year in high school is proving to be more intense than he expected. His classes are more demanding, and the homework piles up, but he loves it. Ben's much the same. We're studying logic this year. The logic vocabulary is unique to the subject. With the challenges Ben faces in learning new things, this course is proving to be quite difficult. Thankfully, he seems to enjoy it... except for how long it takes to master.

I expected smooth sailing this year. I actually thought that having Ellie in school would simplify things at home. I never anticipated logic to take over where she left off -- consuming big chunks of the school day. I had expected some breathing room. I didn't anticipate needing to adjust to school schedules. For some reason, having to watch the clock and keep her on schedule in the morning wears me down. Reminding Nathan about homework and piano practice grates on my nerves. He's a relaxed kind of guy, not at all intimidated by deadlines. In his world, there's always tomorrow to get done what he could do today. UGH!

My attitude these past couple weeks has not been pleasant. I'm frustrated that school still goes from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Ben's working so hard. He's amazingly persistent. He doesn't let his limitations get the best of him.

Instead... I do that. I find myself wishing he would learn like everybody else. I wonder if he could survive in public school. What accommodations would they offer? Selfishly, I want to throw in the towel.

Do you see what satan's trying to do? He's filled my head with visions of peace, a relaxed pace, and time for myself. He's "helped" me forget how tough new concepts are for Ben. He's clouded my memory -- so I don't recall all the things we have already overcome. Just two years ago, Ben (8th grade now) couldn't read a chapter book. Now, he reads on grade level. He's a little slow, but he gets it.

In the desert, satan tempted Jesus -- promising Him lordship over the earth if He would simply bow down to him. I think, perhaps, I am in the desert myself. I'm tempted by "easy living." Days filled with peace and quiet. Time to do what I want, not weighed down by the study of logic, Kepler, Copernicus and the death penalty. Satan's got me where he wants me.

That really makes me mad.

I don't really want what he offers. I'll have enough of that when the kids leave home. In my heart, I know I really want to prepare my kids for their life as adults. It's my calling to raise them and equip them to follow God all the days of their life.

Where does that leave me?

Honestly, right where I need to be. On my knees. Praying to Jesus. Asking Him to help me overcome the temptation I face. Asking Him to fill me with desire to do God's will. Asking Him to help me say, "...Away from me, Satan! For it is written, 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only.'" (Matt. 4:10). The devil can't steal what I won't give him. And I'm not giving him my family!