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If you read my last post, you know that Britt's kind words and attention refreshed me. It wasn't what she said, so much. After all, there are dozens of peppermint bark recipes online that I can try. It's that she chose to see me -- right where I was, tired and weary. She noticed something about me -- a love of peppermint bark.
Why?
Because Britt chose to speak kindness and love.
The past few days around our house have been tough. Kids testing boundaries, speaking harshly to one another, lying to the parents, and griping and complaining about everything. Exhausting!
Normally, I'm strong -- at first -- choosing not to scream in response. Then they wear me down. I lose control. We all fall apart. I'm not supposed to be that way. James 3:2 says, "If we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could...control ourselves in every other way." James cautions us, in verse 4:11, not to "speak evil against each other."
Screaming at the kids is definitely evil. There. I said it. God does not intend me to raise my kids by screaming... no matter how justified I feel. His word says, "Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting and conflict." (Proverbs 17:1)
Thanks to Britt's example, which I consider a gift from God to strengthen me when I needed it, I've held my tongue better, speaking more calmly (notice I said more calmly.... I'm a work in progress.)
You know what?
The kids have noticed! Last night, one of them apologized for pushing and pushing and pushing. This one accepted the corrective discipline with a pleasant attitude. Yes, truly pleasant! Tucking in another one, I said, "You know we don't want it to be this way, right? We love you. We want your life to be filled with fun and friends." The response, "I know. I don't like it, but I know you love me." Whew. I think we'll be okay.
I have not been the perfect mom this week. But, I'm improving. And so are my kids.
I'm grateful that God took the time to offer instruction in parenting. I can't imagine what this tongue would say without Him!
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3 comments:
The other day I noticed my father in law chuckling as I reprimanded my eight year old for something minimal. Feeling rather sheepish I wondered how I must have looked to him "Is it funny to watch your children raising children?" I asked. He replied "No, I just know that you will surrvive beacause we did!" Ahh parenting! That darn hospital forgot to give me my hand book:)
Good, transparent post. Yes, so thankful God took time to give us wisdom on parenting. Hang in there!
That your child said, "I know you love me," speaks volumes. My kids are 21 and 26 now, and it's so nice to look back and realize that the mistakes didn't make an impression nearly as much as the love. God really doesn't expect us to be perfect parents for our children to turn out wonderfully.
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