Memorial Box Monday: Answers

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. 
John 16:33

As another school year draws to a close, I find myself looking back. Again. Trees bud. Flowers bloom. Butterflies flutter. And I reflect.


Three years ago, our son was diagnosed with orthographic processing disorder. We had known something was wrong - he just didn't get spelling or reading or lots of other things not even related to school. He wanted to, but nothing stuck. He wanted friends, but usually playdates and birthday parties ended with him in tears over a misunderstanding and reprimands for his temper on the drive home. The older he got, the worse it was. He got to the point that he labeled himself stupid and even wished he was dead. It broke our hearts. 


Every spring, we asked educational testers to help us figure out what was wrong. No one seemed to have an answer. We prayed for him. Our friends prayed for him. His church leaders prayed for him -- for a breakthrough, for his emotions, and for peace in our house.


Finally, toward the end of fourth grade, God led us to the answer. As we sought care for our daughter (see this Memorial Box post), a therapist noticed some things about my son and recommended testing. Isn't that cool? Our daughter's issues led to our son's relief!


We ended up at a local university educational testing department. These caring professionals spent hours interviewing my husband and me. She had us complete evaluation forms about his educational experience, his friendships, and his experiences in our home. Our son met with her three times for interviews and testing. The process took quite a while.


And then... she put all the pieces together. Struggles we had wondered about his whole life suddenly had an explanation. She gave us strategies for his learning. She recommended testing accommodations to help him succeed. She even suggested how we could discipline him more effectively to curb his outbursts. My husband and I couldn't believe it. We had an answer!


We hurried home to our son, nervous about telling him there was something "different." Yet, we were relieved. Snuggling on the couch, we told him there was a reason reading and spelling are hard, and it's not that he is stupid. We gave him the basic details. And then...


He smiled broadly. Huge grin! "You mean there is something wrong with me?" Uhhh... I was thinking: Wrong, no. Different, yes. Before I had a chance to speak, he added, "I'm not really stupid." Then he was filled with questions about what to do and how to do it.


It gets better! We told the families of his two best friends about the results (they were our prayer warriors through the whole thing anyway). We explained why he has trouble playing with other kids sometimes and what can be done to make it better. These wonderful people listened to it all and helped make playdates more successful for our son. They watched out for him and helped him through the tough stuff.


And better yet! Their boys, my son's friends, cared. These boys wanted to know about his disorder. They wanted to know what would help it get better. They watched out for him. Shortly after his diagnosis, my son learned to spell a second grade type word. These two boys came over to play that afternoon, and the first thing my son did was tell them, "I can spell..." and proceeded to spell it. The boys dive-bombed him and they celebrated like he had just scored the winning touchdown in the Superbowl! Two minutes later they were off playing something normal and boy-like, celebration done.


He still doesn't spell well - but he doesn't worry about it. He knows he'll figure words out over time. He reads slowly - but independently. He participates fully in homeschool group activities, at church, on his sports teams. He has transformed -- blossomed into an incredible young man.


John 16:33 says we will have trouble in this world. My young son has certainly had lots of trouble through the years. Yet Christ came to overcome the world. Through prayer, God helped my son overcome his self-doubt and frustration. God surrounded us with real friends, who love us enough to want to help our son succeed. He provided my son with genuine friendships, even at a young age. 


I am thankful for all He has done in my son's life. I'm thankful he didn't make us go through it alone, but gave us -- and our son -- friends to support us on the journey. We are truly blessed. To remember this season in our life, I will place a picture of my son and his two friends taken about the time he was diagnosed. 


Memorial Box Monday started at "A Place Called Simplicity." A friend of mine introduced me to it, and I love it! love it! love it!!! Memorial Box Monday provides an opportunity to remember all the good things God has done. Huge, gigantic things and little things that might seem insignificant. God's word is clear: "Cast every care on Me, for I care for you." (1 Peter 5:7).