Memorial Box Monday: Contentment

Someone told me recently that what impresses her most about me is my contentment with where life has brought me. (FYI, someone asked her to share that... I wasn't soliciting this at all -- and in fact, didn't believe it to be true!)

I've been mulling it over ever since... Surprisingly, I really am content.

Today, I'd like to remember the journey that brought me to contentment. (My family, if they read this, will shout some loud "amens" at what I'm about to share. Don't be surprised if you hear them!!!)

Most of my life, I've been stubbornly independent, insistent on doing things my way! I did my chores as a kid at 2:00 in the morning. No regular daytime hours for me! After law school, I became a prosecutor. There were no openings, but I suggested that they create a new position and that I'd be the perfect person to fill it. They did! I fought hard for whatever I wanted and never quit till I got there.

I've also suffered from some pridefulness. Okay, a lot of pridefulness. I often found myself in situations where I believed I knew better than everyone else how to do X, Y, or Z. I applied for college and grants without any help from anyone -- not because I'm specially talented. I had some control issues.  It got me in trouble... My pride didn't lead to much respect for authority, especially when coupled with my independent streak.

In all of it, though, God showed me a whole lot of stuff that led me to where I am today. I am thankful for a husband who insists that God is God, not me. I can't have all the answers. My church leaders have an amazing ability to know my strengths and not buy in to my strong-arm tactics to get my way! Nothing like being told "no" 100 times to chip away that pride!!! C. S. Lewis said, "Pride is spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense." My struggles chipped away at my pride, softening me over time. It's a process. But, the result is so worth it.

I first experienced true contentment at the ripe old age of 39. I vividly remember the first night I laid my head on my pillow and not one thought swirled through my head. I remember falling asleep that night (well, actually, I remember that I just fell asleep... no tossing and turning... for the first time ever). I remember the sense of joy when I woke up the next morning, just thrilled to be alive.

I am so thankful that God saw me through my trials. I am thankful that He never gives up on us, even when we dig in our heels and demand to have things our way. I am thankful for His Word, which explains how to have healthy, God-honoring relationships here on this side of heaven. I am thankful for the friends who walk alongside me and pick me up when I fall with a word of encouragement -- or rebuke.

What to put in my Memorial Box??? I can think of nothing better than to write the Bible verse that got me through some tough moments. I treasure it as a precious gift, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." (Phil. 4:11-12, NIV). The secret, of course, is to live for Jesus and not for self. I'm glad I'm getting there. Finally.



If you don't know what Memorial Box Monday is, it all started here: "A Place Called Simplicity." A friend of mine introduced me to it, and I love it! love it! love it!!! Memorial Box Monday provides an opportunity to remember all the good things God has done. Huge, gigantic things and little things that might seem insignificant. God's word is clear: "Cast every care on Me, for I care for you." (1 Peter 5:7).