Closing the Gap - Take Three

Dear friends,

NOTE: If you've already read this post once, please reread it. A dear friend pointed out an important aspect that was missing. I never want to mislead anyone AND I don't always get it right. I'm thankful for friends who will speak to me in love. I'm more grateful for a loving, forgiving Father! God bless!

At my women's Bible study group last night, one of our members asked the tough question: How do I forgive myself when I keep making the same mistakes?

We make mistakes. We lay our sin at the foot of the cross for Jesus. Then, we pick it back up and throw it on our back, carrying it through life. Again and again. It's so hard for us to give it to God and leave it there.

We make mistakes. We ask God to mold us into who we are really meant to be: patient, loving, kind, slow-to-anger, quick-to-forgive, generous... on and on. We ask for wisdom. Help me be an encouraging mom, not a dictator. Help me be a loving wife, not a judgmental nag. Help me be a supportive friend, not a snooty, gossipy, petty woman. (Maybe we're not so honest in our prayers, but we are getting there.)

One of the women responded to the question.... She shared (and gave me permission to share with you) that in her 20+ years of marriage, she spent most of that time focused on her husband, specifically his flaws. She was good at pointing them out, often in a condemning, anything-but-loving way. Eight years ago, she found Jesus. She accepted His love for her, but her attitude toward her marriage didn't seem to change. She still got angry. She still pointed out his mistakes. She focused on what he needed to do better. She used to believe that she'd always be that way, unable to change.

In the past couple years, though, she has discovered an important part of being a Christian. She realizes that while she still "nags" her husband, her marriage actually has changed. She explained that she still finds herself judging him and complaining about him. They still have fights and she hears horrible words tumble from her mouth. But, she realizes that while she isn't the wife God calls her to be, she is closing the gap. She accepts that God forgives her when she blows it. She focuses on her spiritual growth. And she tries again, knowing God is right there by her side, encouraging, rebuking and loving her every step of the way. She explained to the group that while she isn't there, she can look back on the past eight years and see how far she has come. She notices that there are times, lots of times, when she does hold her tongue. She realizes that her first thought isn't always to condemn, but to love. For that, she is thankful.

This dear lady understands that perfection is not ours this side of heaven. Rather, we are to press on, continually striving to become more like Jesus. She is learning to live like Paul in Philippians 3:12, "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."

Dear friends, do you find yourself focusing on everything you do wrong? We all make mistakes. We all have sin in our lives. Why not focus instead on where Jesus is taking you? Celebrate the victories. Rejoice in the progress. Accept His forgiveness. Thank Him for helping you close the gap!

If you struggle to forgive yourself or to understand God's forgiveness, please read this post from Inverted Planet.

With much love,
Karen