Fertilize it!

The weatherman told us that Monday would be warm. It was, a nice warm 83 degrees. He also told us that the rain was coming. It did, about 5:30... and it stuck around for a while too.

Trusting that Greg "O" Fishel knew his weather, I decided to get the early spring fertilizer out on the lawn Monday morning before the rain came. I filled the spreader with the "stuff" and walked the yard, back and forth, in nice neat rows. My goal? To grow the grass of course! And to kill the weeds! Those stinking weeds creep in from everywhere trying to take over the yard. I hate it! Yes, hate is a strong word for weeds, but they really don't look nice.

Anyway, as I was walking back and forth, I began to think, "Why am I doing this?" More accurately, I started thinking, "Why isn't Rob out here doing this?" "Why didn't he get out here yesterday?" You know, bad wife thoughts... condemning my man while I did "his" work.

We've been married a fairly long time, almost 21 years, so I know that when those thoughts creep into my mind like weeds into the yard, I better do something about them. So, I changed my thoughts. Yes. That simple. I chose to change what I thought about my husband.

Instead, I prayed. I told God (nobody else was around, so He -- the ever-present listener would have to do) all the things I love about Rob: that he cleans house, cooks, works hard for our family, cares -- really, truly cares -- about his patients, plays with the kids, reads to Ellie, doesn't complain when I want to go away, encourages me to get out with my friends, and does laundry. Simple. I counted my blessings.

Then I remembered why I was doing the fertilizing in the first place. Saturday, Rob held down the fort (really he was a fully involved dad) so I could attend a women's conference. Sunday, he invested in the kids and me, choosing a day of rest (so Biblical) and play instead of work, work, work. Oh yeah... then God reminded me that we couldn't fertilize on Sunday without seriously inconveniencing ourselves about the dog. She can't exactly go run around in dry fertilizer.

I've been mulling the whole conversation with God over in my head ever since. It seems that maintaining a healthy marriage is a lot like maintaining a beautiful lawn. You've got to:

1. Fertilize it. The lawn gets chemicals (and manure and mulch and limestone). A marriage needs fun, respect and effort.
2. Kill the weeds. Without attention, the weeds creep in and overtake the lawn. Without attention, the bad thoughts about our spouse and frustrations over "bad" habits creep in and overtake the marriage.
3. Invest the time. A lawn doesn't fertilize itself. Rather, it needs dedicated time, focused on the work of fertilizing to help the grass grow. A marriage won't fertilize itself either. It takes dedicated playtime, work time, prayer time and relationship time to grow a healthy marriage. I know to take my negative thoughts captive because I have invested my head and my heart fully in my commitment to Rob. It's a worthwhile investment.

Rob, I am sorry I dared to think bad thoughts. I love you and appreciate everything you do, everything you give and everything you are to our family. We are truly blessed that God put you at the head of this household. I love you! Always and forever.