Special blog posts about special kids

This week, I am honored to be sharing two posts over at Encouragement Cafe with Luann and Friends. Please stop by. I hope it's a blessing to you!

Jesus Loves the Little Children

and

Shattered Dreams and New Hope.

God bless!

Paid in full

Running errands this weekend in preparation for Nathan's graduation party next weekend, I noticed gas prices had dropped to $3.29. Hardly a bargain, but so much better than prices have been, I made the quick decision to top off the tank... just in case they creep back up.

Approaching the pump island, another car came toward me, both of us headed for the same row of pumps. Since I was making the right turn, I got to pull in first. Credit card in hand, I proceeded to the pump as I've done hundreds of times. The screen said, "$55 prepaid. Lift nozzle and select grade." Baffled, I looked around. Everyone at the station was at a tank, pumping gas. No one was waiting in the wings.

"Really?" I thought, "Free gas? Nah." I pushed the button to ask the clerk. She seemed confused. "It's prepaid. Go ahead and pump." She didn't seem to care that I hadn't been the one to prepay it. I asked again, "Are you sure I can have this gas?" "Yes," she replied, "It's paid in full. Go ahead and pump." I heard a hint of, "Wow... this lady doesn't understand how gas pumps work." 

There was no, "Jesus loves you." OR "Someone came in and wanted to pay it forward." Just... "It's paid in full.... (now leave me alone)."

So, I pumped, expecting alarm bells and police cruisers to appear. Nothing happened. The pump quit at $34.14. I smiled to myself as I realized someone else would also be blessed... in a strange way. I replaced the cap, closed the little door, pulled out of the station -- unnoticed. I finished my errands, the whole time expecting to be stopped by the police. Handcuffed. Sent to jail.

It's been a few days and still no police. I think I really was allowed to use that free gas, though it's the strangest blessing ever!

Ever since, I have also been thinking that many of us approach Christianity this same way. Jesus paid in full the required sacrifice for our sins, but we can't really fathom it. We wonder, "What's the catch?" "Who's out there watching me to mess up?" OR "If I accept Jesus, I won't ever have fun again." We miss the blessing and focus on other, irrelevant stuff.

Accepting Jesus is a simple thing that we make hard. Really. First, He loves you enough to pay the price in full. No strings. No one waiting in the wings to bust you for making a mistake. Seriously, God doesn't have angel cops out there waiting for you to mess it all up so he can throw you into some pit of damnation. He just loves you. 

Second, God wants you to receive this blessing with all your heart -- no worries about other things. Just be thankful. Otherwise, you miss out on what you've been given, new life IN CHRIST that is infinitely better than the old, sinful life. 

Third, you can have fun! YES, true Christian living means not getting drunk, not sinning in anger, and more... but Christian living replaces all that with true peace -- you can lay your head on your pillow at night knowing that you matter. Christian living is true joy -- a heart full of things you can't imagine without Jesus. God's love is true love -- knowing you, with all your warts, secrets, and skeletons. 100%. All the time.

Jesus paid in full the required sacrifice for the forgiveness of our sins. He's got us covered. We can accept it and live in that joy... Or, we can reject it and look over our shoulder the rest of our lives and miss the blessing.

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide.

I said to myself, "I will confess my rebellion to the Lord."

And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

Psalm 32:5

Where are you today?

P.S. To the generous person who bought my gas. Thank you!!!

Top ten Bible verses for guarding your heart

Like I said Wednesday, Satan is like SPAM! He tip-toes in, slinking about as he slowly seizes your day, your week, your joy, your life -- much like the spammer sneaks in to steal your money and financial identity. We take steps to protect our finances, reading emails carefully, installing anti-spam software and making ever more complicated passwords to avoid being hacked. But do we do the same to guard our hearts against Satan?

The Bible is filled with wise instruction on guarding the heart, particularly in the book of Proverbs (the book of WISDOM)! Here are ten of the best Bible verses to help us guard our hearts. They remind us why to protect our heart, how to protect our heart and who we live for. Let's commit them to memory and spam-proof our hearts. Sound good?

Proverbs 4:23, "Guard your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."

Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Romans 12:2 (NIV), "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Psalm 51:10, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."

John 10:10 (NIV), "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Proverbs 23:26, "My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways."

Proverbs 3:1-2 (NIV), "My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity."

Luke 6:45, "The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."

Colossians 3:1 (NIV), "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God."

Deuteronomy 4:9, "But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren."

May God bless you as you gaurd your heart to live only for Him!

Love,

This is NOT spam

SPAM! It literally gives me the chills, receiving an email that starts, "Dear Karen, I hope this finds you well. I am writing to tell you about..." You know the ones? They start out all personal and warm, and then ask for my bank routing number and other personal information so I can get in on the most amazing opportunity ever! CREEPY!!!

I got one today, so apparently my email spam filter is on vacation. Grrrr...

As I deleted this morning's offensive spam, I realized that my visceral reaction to spam mimics the internal response the Holy Spirit gives me when satan tries to SPAM my life.

Yep! Satan is spam! He starts out all personal and warm.... like with Eve in Genesis 3:1-6:

[Satan] said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. 

Crafty! He seems to ask, "Are you sure you heard God right?" And then... "If you eat that fruit you will become as wise as God." Ooooohhhhhh.... If I give Mr. Spammer my banking information, I'll become as rich as Bill Gates! Yeah, right!

You'd think I'd be smarter than Eve. After all, she didn't have the Bible to guide her, friends to encourage her or a pastor to preach truth each weekend. I'm not, though. I may not fall for the spammer's temptation. When that warning bell rings, loud and clear, I hit the delete button fast! An automatic response that requires almost no thought from me.

BUT... when Satan attempts to SPAM MY LIFE, my response is hardly as swift or sure. Throughout the day, instead of being thankful for the family God has chosen to give me, I complain, ".... lazy." "Did he really forget to ____________ again? (insert sarcastic tone as well)." "Why does no one around here appreciate me?" You know... little ingratitudes that pile up all day long. Finally, we sit down to dinner and I yip and snap at everyone for minor annoyances that hardly warrant my reaction. Satan spammed my day. Worse, I let him do it. YUCK!

How does Satan spam your life? More importantly, what are you going to do about it -- let him keep stealing your joy or learn to listen to the warning bells and make some changes?

How about we all commit to installing some anti-spam software in our hearts? Come back Friday for a list of verses to get us started!

Lots of love,

The Editing Room

Have you read The Hunger Games? Seen the movie? Or how about The Kite Runner? Or Harry Potter? With few exceptions, books and the movies they inspire aren't all that much alike. The movie watcher might get a sense of the book, but there's always more to the book than a movie ever shows. Some of the subtlety is lost in the movie translation, left on the editing room floor.

















It's like that with real life too. You meet someone for the first time and decide in seconds whether you like them or not. You read into their actions and words, sizing them up and filling in the blanks. Not just you. We all do. We judge others, using what little information we get the first time we meet, to decide whether to pursue a friendship or relationship of any kind.

How often have you walked away from an encounter thinking (if not saying), something like, "Wow. Get over yourself." OR "This world isn't all about you, buddy." OR "What's her problem?"

How about road rage? We assume that the road ragers out there are all about themselves. As a mom to two teenage boys, I am hyper-aware of road rage right now, and I certainly do not condone it. But, what might appear to be road rage, might in fact be a man trying to get to the hospital to say his final good-byes to his dad. It might be the single mom, released from her job and distracted -- overwhelmed -- by the very real possibility of losing her home and having to make tough choices with her kids. It might be... all sorts of things.

We judge others based on limited interaction. But the reality is, we do not know what's left on the editing room floor of their lives. Anthony Evans shared that thought with my church family this weekend... and it has stuck with me ever since. Why do we judge others? Why do we ASSUME we know who they are based on 15 seconds of conversation? Why don't we choose to love and learn?

Why don't we get to know each other a little better? Why don't we simply love? Care just a little more about the events left on the editing room floor?

Romans 14:10, "You, then, why do you judge your brother?

Or why do you look down on your brother?

For we will all stand before God's judgment seat."

Love,

Real life

The internet is a strange "friend." Some of us are consumed by social networks, speaking to others only through facebook, twitter and blogs. Others have forgotten that these "virtual worlds" only provide snippets of reality. Surfing longingly through beautiful homes, fashion pins and hairstyles on pinterest, our own homes are neglected. The reality is nobody lives in a pinterest house!

Others have lost their jobs and families because their "need" for internet gaming consumes their every waking hour. Teens use these social sites to bully others -- as if the face to face bullying in schools isn't enough. Some die from the effects of bullying or because their virtual self died. The internet is impersonal, cold, and untrue.

Yet...

Real life family!

I recently sent an email to the adoption agency we used to bring Ellie home, offering to write a post for them about the attachment and adjustment issues we faced after she came home. They asked to post that email, as is, on their blog and I consented. I expected nothing.

Within days, people responded. Other parents, whose kids weren't easily adjusting to life in a forever family, poured out their hearts, their hurts and their frustrations. My heart ached. Our hurts, dulled by the passage of time, remembered once again as I read their stories. The sadness. The disappointment, not in the kids but in the shattered dreams. The fears, will she ever function in this world or is she trapped inside the hurt forever.

I didn't expect anyone to respond to that post. 

Years ago, when we were going through the pain, I didn't expect it ever to help anyone else.

But God knew. He knew the challenges Ellie would have. He knew the war for her heart and mind that we would fight. He knew the joy of the outcome... and He knew that our hurt, anger and disappointment would one day be used for good. He knew that our journey would become the light in someone else's dark tunnel. He knew!

The internet is not real life! Facebook is not real. Blogs are not "real." But God... sometimes uses them to connect people who would never "meet" otherwise. God used the internet to take our journey to the Pacific Northwest and New York, places I've never been. 


The internet is not real life... but when we, the authors of the internet, write real material from our hearts, God does use it for good, to promote fellowship and remind others of his faithfulness. 


Today, consider what you post in your blog, on facebook or even your pinterest. 


Is it real? 

Mysterious love

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

The Christian knows the "feeling." Christian love among friends is the glue. It provides a bond that defies explanation. Deep inside we sense that we can be honest without fear of retribution or judgment. True love IN CHRIST is the greatest gift we can give another. It offers encouragement in the midst of hardship, understanding in the deepest pain, and hope to the hopeless. 

Have you been loved in the love of Christ? Do you love with His love? 

Did we make it to Busch Gardens?

So, you'd think a day trip to Busch Gardens is easy. WRONG! 

Take two, necessitated by last weekend's surprise barfing adventure, 

began with this little one:

Ellie the super spinner!

 throwing up in bed Friday night. Rob (yep, the doctor) 

had to call me in to clean the mess. 

He doesn't do puke well.

We thought we'd have to cancel. Again.

But Saturday morning, she awoke bright eyed and bushy tailed...

more on that later.

Ellie and Rob rode Grover's Alpine Express.

I love how they held hands to help her be brave

to keep her hands high

like the big kids do.

We enjoyed our day at the park,

made sweeter because "Katniss" was with us!

We fed her, though... 

No need to hunt!

Finally!!! We got to celebrate Ben's birthday

just the way he likes it.

At Busch Gardens with his best buddy!

Ben and Noah

Besides having a healthy Ellie, "Katniss," and Noah along,

Busch Gardens actually opened their new coaster, Verbolten, early!!!!

Ben and Noah rode it four times! Yes, FOUR!

They declare it the best roller coaster ever!

Oh yeah, back to bushy tailed...

I'm not sure how it started, but the teens started singing

Gray squirrel, gray squirrel

Shake your bushy tail...

on every. single. coaster!

We may have annoyed a few people...

But we sure did have fun!

Happy birthday, Ben!

We'll see how it goes!

Tomorrow is round two of Busch Gardens or bust. 

I sure hope we have more of these:

Ellie, our spinny girl

Nathan and Ellie. I <3 this photo!

Best buddies!

And I really hope we don't need a single one of these! 

Have a blessed weekend, everyone!

Busch Gardens or Bust!

As graduation approaches, we have lots to do: order announcements and invitations, finish college entrance paperwork, figure out the food for the party, and clean the house. That last one I snuck in there to knock a few items off the honey-do list (my hubby works well with deadlines). On top of that, we have awards banquets and other special events.

Graduation is enough to make a mom go batty -- not to mention the teenage son used to low-key living. Throw in two younger siblings with June birthdays and WOW! It's crazy... that's all I can say.

We decided we'd simplify June a bit and celebrate Ben's 15th birthday just a little early by taking him and a friend to Busch Gardens. It's a long day, a little over three hours each way, but their enthusiasm for the rides and the food (can you say funnel cake???) is totally worth it!

We got up at 6:00 this morning, packed sandwiches and snacks to head out on our big adventure. Driving along, we talked about where to eat dinner and other goodies (funnel cake!!!!). Ben and his buddy discussed which ride to attack first and whether to brave the front row or not.

We crossed into Virginia -- for a change, no one needed to stop at the Welcome Center. WOO HOO!!! We would certainly get there before 11:00. Lots of time to enjoy the day!

And then....

Quietly, almost broken-hearted, Ben said, "I think I'm getting car sick." (My mama brain easily counted on one hand the number of times that's happened to him in fifteen years -- twice!) We pulled into a rest area a few minutes later and he puked. He said he felt better. I wasn't convinced.

We used the break to hand out sandwiches and drinks. Not to Ben, of course. I gave him the front seat and we continued on our way.

I had a nagging sense that all was not right with our plan and asked my husband to pull off at the next exit. Ben and I got out of the car to talk. He didn't feel great, but he didn't feel as bad as he did. And, he hated that we had driven more than two hours just to turn around. Time to call in the big guns... Daddy.

We explained, gently, that we would rather turn around and go next weekend than to go today and have him not enjoy it. He didn't want to inconvenience us (sweet boy). But we didn't want to disappoint him. After all, what kid wants to say they spent their 15th birthday watching their buddy ride coasters with the big brother? Really?!

A quick text to his buddy's parents said next week works just as well. We reassured him that we don't mind and headed home. Ben slept most of the ride. His buddy and I chatted about iPhone apps and high school. Nathan was quiet, and Ellie was mad. (Girls!!!)

Arriving home, the kids came in the house. Nathan ran to the bathroom and puked. (What is going on with my kids?) Ellie pouted. Got sent to bed. And has been asleep for three hours.

After all this, I think everyone has gotten the grumpiness out of their system. We should be good to go next week. Right?

I sure hope so!

All Grown Up!

Eighteen years (and a few days) ago,

God blessed us with our first son.

Nathan Michael Dawkins,

blessed with the confidence to be himself,

despite the "ordinary" middle name with which he is burdened.

From the beginning, our little man.

April 29, 1994

His vocabulary and personality quickly grew.

His first sports love, the Cleveland Indians

and Kenny Lofton.

And his daddy's baseball hat!

Summer, 1995

He's our silly boy,

hamming it up to make anyone laugh.

 1998

Always protective of his little brother,

a trait we greatly appreciated as they grew.

1998

Adventurous begins to describe him,

whether learning karate,

2002

Or experiencing everything China had to offer,

from the Great Wall,

to the food,

to holding his baby sister for the very first time.

March, 2005

 Our t-shirt loving boy

occasionally sported a button-up shirt,

if only for Easter pictures

and to please Mom.

2007

No more home school

once he learned that he could join the band

and go to New York City

to March in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

November, 2008

Sophomore year,

he discovered the power of dressing up,

wearing a suit first for his

National Honor Society induction.

 2010

His dressy ways continue.

As does his love for his sister (and brother).

He is passionate for God, piano and kindness.

He doesn't pretend. He knows who he is.

2011

As much as an 18 year old "city mouse" can anyway.

Eiffel Tower, 2012

Eighteen years with this young man

is more amazing than I could have dreamed.

We are truly blessed

that God allowed us

to parent you.

Taking time out from basketball with Ben

for a celebratory cupcake!

April 29, 2012

Nathan, as always, we pray that you know the love, joy, and peace

that comes from a deep personal relationship with Jesus.

We pray you will trust Him to guide your steps

 through college and into the future.

Welcome to adulthood!

We love you!

Mom and Dad