Spring Planting

Whoever is not with me is against me,
and whoever does not gather with me scatters.

Matthew 12:30

Spring. 

Flowers bloom. 

Gardens come alive with color. 

Simple beauty makes our hearts smile. 

Jesus. 

Hope blooms. 

Sinners come alive with love. 

Simple truth makes our hearts smile.

He came to give us life. 

Not just you. Or me. 

Everyone. 

Yet...

We push them away. 

Deemed unworthy. 

Judged inferior. 

They fight alone.

Isolation. 

Careless words. 

Indifference. 

Breaking hearts. Wounding souls.

Let's be love. 

To those we don't like. 

To those we ignore. 

To those we don't understand.

That's all Jesus asks.

Will you?

Building Barnacles

Barnacles, for those who never thought about them (most of us?), are crustaceans that build up on pier pilings and ship bottoms in shallow salt water. They fight with other crustaceans to survive and use two strategies to win the battle: "swamping" and fast growth. With swamping, a great number of barnacles settle in the same place at once, basically using a "safety in numbers" strategy to survive. Even if some are knocked away and die, others remain to carry on. Fast growth allows them to build a column to reach higher water closer to the surface and to become large enough to resist being knocked away. When I think of anger -- especially mommy anger -- I'm a lot like a barnacle. That's not a pretty picture, is it?

Photo credit

I remember the first time I got angry with my first son. He kept shoving things into the CD player. I removed his hand, distracted him with a toy (or so I thought), picked him up and moved him away, but he kept going back. Finally, I swatted his hand and firmly said, "No!" Then I cried. Crocodile tears. I never wanted to be the mom who yelled and spanked (or swatted). If that had been the end of my anger, I wouldn't need to think about barnacles.

When our second son came along, he brought tears with him. From two months to about ten months of age, he cried and cried and cried. I tried everything, but he was not one to be soothed. Some days, I'd get so frustrated that I'd just put him in his crib and let him cry. (I'm not blaming him.)  

Unfortunately, that season allowed barnacles of anger to grow in me, building up as the day progressed. As he cried, the anger in me would build. (Thankfully, I never took it out on him.) By the time my husband got home from work, I'd be at the end of my rope. Little things would set me off and the screaming began -- mine! Like the swamping barnacle, my anger grew and grew until I finally exploded, perhaps just to be heard over all the tears. We got past that tough season and eventually learned that this little guy had sensory issues and a communication disorder -- there was a reason for all that crying!

As the boys got older, more rambunctious and curious, they got noisy. Two boys can generate a lot of noise. When I'd tell them to settle down, they didn't always respond. Our second son, especially, didn't understand verbal cues (that communication disorder, you know) and wouldn't obey. My anger would grow quickly, my voice harsh and loud to overwhelm him. 

The yelling became a habit, my go-to parenting style. "I just come from a family of yellers," I'd say. I didn't work on changing my behavior, I justified it. Over the past ten years (my boys are 17 and 14 as I write this), I have learned that screaming at kids is not Godly parenting. I know that my kids, generally, will respond to other forms of communication, but I haven't worked too hard to improve. Thanks to maturity in general I do better, but I've never really tried to subdue this behavior intentionally. I haven't really sought God's help through prayer, accountability or Bible study. 

Recently, my kids are quick to point out when I'm overly harsh. This past year, especially, they've often said, "Mom, you don't have to yell. I can hear you just fine." God convicting me through my kids? Maybe.

But I've just let the barnacles build.

Then comes Courtney...

Courtney, from Women Living Well, launched The Gentleness Challenge for "mommies everywhere who struggle with their temper." I wish this wasn't me, but it is. 

Link to The Gentleness Challenge. Join us!

I've got a few years left with kids under my roof (actually a lot, my youngest is only seven). It's about time I stop making excuses and start parenting without anger and yelling. It's time to knock these barnacles off and start living right, God's way!

But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, 

kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

How about you? More anger than you'd like at home? Please join us! 

In humility,

Britt!

With a horrible headache, I dragged myself to Ellie's dance class. Knowing we had run out of milk, bread and fruit -- lunch packing essentials -- I drove my sluggish self over to Walmart to pick them up while she danced. Without a headache, I avoid Walmart. With a headache, it's on my list of things NOT to do! Since I wasn't near a grocery store, I ignored that list and opted for Walmart location convenience.

Of course, I ended up with the cart with a bum wheel. Thunka. Thunka. Thunka. I pushed that cart through the aisles, picking up the lunchtime necessities. Somehow, peppermint bark jumped into the basket. Really. I have no idea how it happened. *wink*

(Peppermint bark is my FAVORITE Christmas treat. Certainly, that little package just wanted to make me feel better. Right?)

I headed to the checkout, the Walmart experience I dread most. Grumpiness abounds in the Walmart checkout lines. Customers are rude. Some are down-right angry. Most of the time, store clerks are absent-minded, not interested in me, my groceries, or their job. Not that I blame them.... what a boring job. Swipe. Bag. Swipe. Bag. Cash or credit? Over and over. They stand on their feet for hours. AND they have to deal with each and every grumpy, angry customer who goes through the line.

Approaching the checkout area, I noticed that one lane was empty -- and open. The young lady working that register leaning on her counter talking to three teenagers beyond the next set of registers. I hesitated. Will she do her job? Or, will she keep yammering with the kids? That happens sometimes.

I decided to chance it.

As I placed the milk on the counter, she instantly turned her focus to me. "How are you?" Not thinking about social expectations, I replied, "I'm tired." Exhausted, really, but I didn't go that far.

Chipper, she asked, "Have you been Christmas shopping?"

"Yes."

She exclaimed, "I've met a lot of people who are tired today. It seems that Christmas shopping does that, but at least you're getting it done before Christmas Eve!"

My foggy, throbbing brain started firing. This isn't the typical Walmart experience. I honestly thought, "Pay attention, Karen. This is a special person." I pushed my focus to her instead of my headache.

She swiped the peppermint bark and placed it in a bag as she shared, "Oooooh, I love peppermint bark! Do you know you can make it yourself? It's so much better than this, and cheaper too." I looked directly into her face, and she animatedly explained how to make peppermint bark. She added that if I buy canisters from the dollar store, it makes a great gift. Cheap!

Everything bagged, I ran my credit card through the machine. It didn't read. GROAN! This frustrates me too. Usually, the churlish clerk barks at me to do it again. Not this girl. "Oh no. It didn't take your card the first time. Please swipe it again." As she smiled warmly.

I am in the presence of a human angel!

I swiped. Bubbly, she declared, "Oh good. It worked."

She handed me the receipt, looking directly at me with a warm smile spread across her face. "You have a great night."

Britt, I just did! Thanks.

Time: a generous gift

When my world was falling apart, a dear man invested his time and heart in our family. He offered my husband encouragement and a listening ear. He challenged me to stop wallowing in my pit and turn my eyes to Jesus. His love for our family was the lifeline to Jesus that we needed... and I've never been the same since. (He tends to downplay the impact he made -- he's humble like that -- but I wouldn't be where I am without the time he invested in us.)

Time!

When we invest in others, we offer them the gift of time. We make a choice to give up something we can never get back so that someone else's life might improve. And yet, there is no greater feeling than giving to another. Our hearts fill with joy. How is that possible?

Galatians 5 13-23 says, "You... were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' ... So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious:... selfish ambition... and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Did you gloss over God's word just now? If you did, please go back and read it again.

Selfishness looks at time as mine. I don't have time to listen to her problems. I don't have time to cook them a meal. I don't have time to do... whatever.

Love looks at time as a gift. Yes, I'll meet you for coffee and prayer. Sure, I'll cook a meal -- when do they need it? Yes, I'll pick up those school supplies for needy kids.

A friend of mine told me about a little boy who wiggled his way into his heart. This little boy lived with his dad -- mom ran away. Then dad was murdered. Little boy lives with grandma, who works two jobs to provide for him. This man saw an opportunity to make a difference. He meets with the boy once a week, spending six hours with him, sometimes more. Just a friend, investing in a young man -- and his grandma. He shared that some days the little boy wears him out -- he's tempted to take him home early. Then he remembers that grandma gets one six hour break each week. He grins. He listens. He invests... for six hours. Sometimes more. Each week.

That man has a daughter. She recently shared with him that she realizes the value of a loving father. She sees the difference he makes in a little boy's life. And it fills her heart too.

Here's the amazing truth about time. When we give it, in love, our hearts grow full. The love spills over and impacts the world beyond. When we hoard it, selfishly, our hearts grow cold. Nothing spills over. No one is changed.

Time is our most precious gift. It's the cost we "pay" for loving. But, the dividend is immeasurable.

How will you use your time today?

All you need is love!

Hey friends,
I just read this passage in the Bible, and WOW! It's "kickin' my tail" as my sweet southern friends might say.

In Exodus 5 -- the story of the bricks and straw -- Good old Moses politely asked Pharaoh to let his people, the Israelite slaves, take a three day break to worship God. Pharaoh said no. Then, Pharaoh told his Egyptian henchmen to make the Israelites gather their own straw for brick-making, without lowering the daily brick quota. Dude had a serious attitude problem!

The Israelites couldn't maintain the workload and begged Pharaoh to cut them some slack. Pharaoh refused, calling them "lazy." Then the Israelites blamed Moses and Aaron for getting them into this predicament. The story ultimately ends with God sending plagues on Egypt until Pharaoh finally relents and lets the Israelites go, not just for three days, but forever. (See Exodus 12)

I've read the story of Exodus many times, but I never noticed before how much I am like the Israelites, blaming others for my problems. I wake up in a bad mood -- and instead of praying for deliverance (or at least peace), I treat myself as a helpless slave to my gloom and doom. Not only that, I subject my family to it -- over-reacting to little things because I'm hostage to my mood. I'm disorganized (really!!!!) and instead of asking God to help me become organized, I "freak out" when I can't find the car keys or that important paper that I left somewhere (really, it was here.... FIND IT!!!!).

Can you relate? Does your family endure your mood that "one week of the month?" Do your kids wonder which mom will show up today -- the fun one or the taskmaster?

After seeing how ineffective the Israelites were, I'd like to choose a different course of action!

In Ephesians 4:1-6, Paul says, " I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit -- just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call -- one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."

Instead of blaming, God wants us to:

1. Walk in our calling. The Israelites forgot that they were God's chosen people, focusing instead on their circumstances. Instead of blaming others, we should remember that we are God's chosen as well, thanking Him for the plan He has for our lives -- even circumstances we don't particularly like.

2. Be humble, gentle and patient, bearing with one another in love. We don't know how different the Israelites' situation would have been if they had whined and complained less and prayed more. I do know that when I praise God, in spite of my problems, they resolve more quickly.

3. Remember we're all on the same team. The Israelites forgot that Moses was on their team. We, the modern church, seem to forget we're on the same team too. Complaining within the church -- whether against our leaders or each other -- gets us nowhere. Complaining wears us down and tears us apart -- pulling our eyes off God's plan.

The same is true for families. Complaining gets us nowhere worth going!

How about if we learn quicker than the Israelites? Let's agree to complain less about circumstances, leaders and each other and live in love instead. Let's stop focusing on the situation and remember God has a plan.

As the Beatles would say, "All "we" need is love..."

Repaying kindness with... UNgratefulness?

http://www.ehow.com/info_8273543_duties-cupbearer.html

Joseph interpreted a dream for Pharaoh's cup bearer while they were imprisoned together -- telling him he would be restored to his position in three days. Joseph then humbly requested, "When all goes well for you, remember me and show me kindness; mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison." (Gen. 40, 40:14) The cup bearer forgot. Really? How could he do such a thing? So ungrateful.

Every time I've read that passage before, that's what I focused on... the ungrateful cup bearer.

Before reading it again today, I asked God to give me new understanding of the familiar story. Boy, did He deliver! It's easy to read the Bible as a storybook: Joseph interpreted a dream. The cup bearer got out of prison. The cup bearer forgot about Joseph. Bad cupbearer.

But the Bible's not all about stories. It's about hearts. It's God's inspired word -- recorded and preserved to help us understand Him better. To help us understand how to live for Him.

As I read the passage today, questions swirled in my head: Why did the cup bearer forget? What lesson is there in this for me? The passage doesn't actually record why the cup bearer forgot, but we can make an educated guess based on the circumstances.

Maybe he was selfish. Concerned about his dream, he was happy to "entertain" Joseph. Once he got what he wanted, though, he didn't give Joseph another thought even though they were imprisoned together.

Have you ever had the opportunity to share the message of hope in Christ with someone but opted not to because it was inconvenient? Maybe God nudged your heart to invite the store clerk to church, but because of your busy schedule, you clamped that mouth shut and spoke nothing? I know God has nudged me a few times -- more than a few -- and I've not obeyed. Too busy. Another day.

Maybe he was afraid. After all, Pharaoh had already shown he was willing to throw his "trusted advisor" the cup bearer in prison. Who's to say Pharaoh wouldn't do it again? Maybe the cup bearer decided sticking his neck out for Joseph wasn't worth the risk of going back to prison. If I were the cup bearer, I might well walk on egg shells around Pharaoh out of fear of his retribution.

Have you ever had the opportunity to share the salvation message with someone and chickened out because you were afraid they'd reject you? Yep. We want people to like us. We don't want them to toss us out.

Maybe he was intimidated. The cup bearer's release came at the same time as the chief baker's beheading. WHOA! I'm not sure about you, but if I saw a colleague beheaded, I'd do anything -- or not do anything -- to end up in the same position.

Or have you ever had an opportunity to share Jesus' love with someone because you felt intimidated? Have you ever thought something like, "There's no way he would ever listen to what I have to say. He's too hard. Too angry. Too far gone." The guy with the tattoos up and down both arms. The angry guy in the black leather.

We'll never know why the cup bearer didn't honor Joseph after getting his help, but we can still learn from him.

We'll never know for sure why the cup bearer didn't repay Joseph's kindness, but still we can learn from him and take a different approach. Instead of acting selfishly, thinking only of ourselves, we can think of all God has done, sending his Son to die on that cross for the redemption of our sins, and share the good news with others. Even when it's inconvenient. We can stop worrying about our own approval ratings and serve the One who loves us -- sharing his message whether we lose friends for doing it or not. And we can stop fearing rejection. Jesus died for that guy you deem too lost -- too far gone. He didn't just die for you.

Let's not be like the ungrateful cup bearer. Let's live differently: Share the gospel with everyone we meet. It just might release them from their own personal prison.

Watch your mouth

Fellow moms,
How often do we tell our kids to watch your mouth? I hope I'm not the only one! My kids forget to say please and thank you. They use slang that we find disagreeable. They get comfortable with words that aren't quite cussing, but sure aren't polite. And I'm right there, the mouth police.

• "Tell me you didn't just say what I think you said." (draped in heavy sarcasm)
• "Would you like to rephrase that?" (slightly less sarcasm)
• "Shut up!!!" (yes, I say it... usually in a very angry tone)
• "Shutteth uppeth!" (in a less angry tone)
• "Are you done?" (sarcasm drips from each word)
• "Really? Go. to. your. room." (controlled anger)
• "Say it again, and I'll get the soap." (ineffective... why do I bother?)

Please tell me I'm not the only one!

Raising kids is tough work. Some days I just don't have the energy to be the "good mom," who calmly and rationally works through misdeeds with my kids. I just react. Quickly. Sarcastically. Angrily.

When I slack off and react (see above), I really do my kids and myself an injustice. Why should they watch their mouths if I'm not watching mine? Sarcasm might help me feel better momentarily, but it sure isn't going to inspire my kids to respect me. I might feel angry, but anger inspires an angry response, not remorse or a changed heart.

When my kids' words get to me -- as they often do -- I'm just as responsible to watch my mouth. OUCH! "Because I'm the mom" doesn't really work -- it's not a valid excuse. My kids know it. To inspire my kids to pure speech, I must model it myself.

It's not easy, but it's the right thing to do.

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb,

sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

Proverbs 16:24

My prayer today is that I will speak pleasantly, so my kids want to hear and receive my instruction. With God's help, I know I can!

Love,

Prayers for Storm Victims

This is a photo of damage in Kenly, a small town to our east here in Johnston County.

Friends,
We live near Raleigh, NC. Yesterday, we watched news coverage, amazed as the storms swept through to our west and then to our east. Our little patch in between got some wind and rain and nothing more. I wonder if that's somewhat how the Israelites' felt when God parted the Jordan to lead them to safety. I am grateful for His protection.

Hundreds around us lost their homes. At least ten people in our region died -- and some little kids are still unaccounted for. Please pray for the families who lost everything (from Oklahoma to Alabama to NC and beyond). May this be a time that God's love is revealed to those who don't know him as we support one another. Pray for peace and comfort for those who must piece their lives back together. Pray for the workers, the first responders who must deal with death and the relief workers who will clean up. Pray, too, for the power company as they restore power to thousands in the coming days.

Thank you,
Karen

The Best Thing Anyone's Ever Done

A few weeks ago, while gathered with friends, someone asked, "What's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you? Besides Jesus, of course."

I'm 44 years old. Lots of people have done lots of nice things for me. My husband is up there, that's for sure. He loves me, encourages me, spoils me rotten -- my kids really notice, and prays for me. He writes me little notes. He smiles a special smile, just for me. During our journey to Ellie, complete strangers gave us money from their pockets. Quite unexpected. When we got home from China with Ellie, our house was immaculately clean and dinner was simmering in a crock pot. With fresh, homemade bread. The gift of a special friend. On bedrest during my second pregnancy, a dear friend would drop anything to help me, encourage me, rush me to the doctor, bring food when I actually felt like eating.

Just thinking about the BEST THING anyone has ever done certainly opened my eyes to how blessed I am! But the best thing...

Several years ago, my husband's father died from cancer just after the new year. He held on through Christmas. The family got to see him. We all said our good-byes. His life ended quietly.

The visitation and funeral were in our hometown of Kent, Ohio. For the record, Kent is located at the edge of the snow belt. Any given January can bury the town in a deep blanket of snow making travel treacherous. The day of the visitation, Kent got one of those storms, snow AND ice! The family gathered at the funeral home anyway. Local friends braved the weather and came to share their love and say good-bye. Some friends and family, not surprisingly, couldn't make it. The weather was just too bad.

Partway through the visitation, four guys came in, hardly expected. From our church in Delaware, Ohio (about 2 1/2 hours away on a good day), they drove to Kent in that crazy storm. To pray with us. To stand by us. We hadn't asked them to come, not that they weren't welcome. We certainly didn't expect them, especially in the bad weather. Yet, there they were.

What's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me? Four guys, unbidden, drove through a horrendous snow and ice storm to stand by my husband (and me) on the saddest day of his life. They were His hands and feet of comfort. They were His reassurance in the flesh. They held us up when our hearts were broken. (Yes, we know his dad is in heaven and we'll see him again. At the time, it didn't make the good-bye any easier.) The nicest thing anyone has ever done is showing me that "family in Christ" means exactly that. Family. United as one. In Christ.