"Click"

When I listen for God, I hear Him. Sometimes, His voice is loud and clear. Sometimes, He speaks in the softest whisper. When I don't listen for Him, I don't hear. To be more honest, I hear, but I ignore His voice. 

It's easy to ignore God. Of course, it leads to disaster which is not so easy... but the ignoring part. Piece. Of. Cake. 

Do not grow weary

Growing weary.... that's me.

Why?

To be honest, I don't know. That's the hardest part. I'm in one of those valleys that makes no sense. Nothing is wrong at home. I have three fabulous kids. I am blessed with a wonderful life. I read my Bible. I pray. I talk with God.

Though I can't figure out why I'm so tired, I know one thing to be true. GOD hasn't changed. He hasn't moved. He hasn't stopped. Just because I'm struggling right now, doesn't mean life is falling apart. Galatians 6:9 says, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Today, I choose to remember. God has not changed -- and He never will. He has everything in my life under control and I don't need to -- that's faith. This funk will pass as long as I don't give up.

Are you struggling like me? Please remember that God loves you. He is with you. And He will never leave you. NEVER!

May God bless you today and always, with His joy, His peace and the security of His love.

Love,

Wisdom from a Ninth Grader

We're a month into our new lives -- and Ben is flourishing in ninth grade. While I knew that God had worked with us to prepare him for high school, I still doubted. WHY? I know that God answers the prayers of those who love Him. Anyway.... This post is not about my doubt. This post is about Ben's wisdom! May it bless you -- perhaps challenge you -- as it has me.

Let's Get Organized

Hello my sweet friends,

I am wrapping up WEEK THREE of our new reality. Life with the college kid is going well. Our newly public schooled high schooler's time and homework management are improving. The little one is flourishing in second grade -- and enrolled in her beloved ballet.

The only one floundering is me! Yep! It seems that six hours of complete freedom is more than I can handle. I have so many options but I'm not using most of them. The house isn't cleaner (well, the kitchen is... I'm the only one eating here). I'm not getting a whole lot more work done. And I certainly haven't figured out how to add scrapbooking to my day. Two decades of photos and memorabilia sit, ignored in their boxes.

I need a routine! Will you help? I've made it easy! If you have a great organizing tip -- for the house, for photos, for chores, for work, for time management, for ANYTHING, please share it.

You can share two ways (I am getting organized!!!). Leave a comment sharing your best tip. OR link to your great organizing post using mclinky AND leave a comment so I know you posted. I promise to read each and every one!

If, like me, you struggle to get organized, maybe these tips will help you too!

Here's to getting organized!!!

Eleven Years

Eleven years.
Immediately after 9.11.2001, we vowed never to forget. We haven't.

Eleven years.
We promised ourselves to change. To live by faith.

Eleven years.
Have you changed?
Have I?

The journey to college -- for students and mamas

Hello my friends,

Today I'm guest blogging at a wonderful "e-zine," Bonbon Break. I've written for them before, offering travel and packing tips that I share at the travel blog (Family Travels on a Budget). This post is more about the student's journey through senior year of high school and freshman year of college -- and about the mama's journey of the heart.

Stop by Bonbon Break and let me know what you think of the post! While you're there, I hope you'll check out some other awesome posts -- this week's edition is all about ch-ch-changes!

Have a fabulous, four-day week!

Love,

Changes... and how I'm doing.

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

One week ago, my oldest son moved into his first dorm room. He planted himself firmly in his new life as a college student, and I was uprooted -- from full-time mom to part-time correspondent (by text and twitter). I mourn, but I also dance... God placed him at Samford and my heart for him is full.

Five days ago, my second son started high school, along with a gazillion other fresh ninth graders across the country. He's my "mini me," home schooled by my side through eighth grade. We were always together -- grocery shopping, schooling, house cleaning and library trips. This week, I'm mourning his constant presence. Grocery shopping alone is peaceful (a time to be silent), but oh how I miss his jabbering (a time to speak). Of course, he comes home from the public high school bubbling with stories about his day and I miss the silence. Perhaps I'm never content?

Ellie started second grade Monday. She's happy as a lark, embracing the new school year with all its promise. She loves her teacher and is thrilled to have friends in her class. Thankfully, this is a time of peace in her world, which means peace for me.

I'm adjusting well, though. I write without interruption. With no one home all day, the house stays a lot cleaner! My husband and I enjoy lunch together (he has Wednesday afternoons off. WOO HOO!).  In some ways our family is being torn down, scattered like stones across the country and across town, but my heart is mending. Though I must let go of what was, I look ahead to what will be.

Love.

Peace.

Laughter.

Movin' on up!

"Movin' on UP" might be a stretch. No dorm room is ever as cozy as HOME! Nathan traded in his queen size bed for the traditional, lumpy dorm twin XL. He traded a fully equipped kitchen, open 24/7 for meals in the "caf."

"UP" is his first step toward independence. He decides if he gets up with the alarm or sleeps through class (Nathan, if you're reading this... GO TO CLASS!). He decides when -- or if -- to change the sheets on the bed, to toss the laundry in the hamper or on the floor, or to scrub the toilet. I have no say. He's moved on toward independence.

Before he moved "UP," he allowed us to help him unpack his stuff. Here's a peak into Nathan's new digs. Enjoy!

All loaded up and ready to go.

Can't believe it all fit -- and five people too!

Good thing I'm an expert traveler/packer.

First Day of School: Twisted!

For the first time in 18 years, 3 months and 29 days, I am home alone -- today, tomorrow, and every day through the school year. Not only that, but one of my three is at college -- all by himself! I won't be there to wake him when he sleeps through the alarm or to pray with him before he heads off to class or to make sure he eats his veggies!

Thanks to lots of wonderful, praying friends I am getting through it. Well. No tears. No anxieties or worries... though, I do obsessively check my son's twitter feed for glimpses into his collegiate world (he's being stingy with his posts!).

In honor of our life of change, I've created a "picture book" look into this season. Enjoy!

 We've walked far together, our family of five...

Change affects everyone!

Hey my bloggy friends,

I'm sure you've clued in to the fact that I'm suffering through sending our first "off to college." I tell myself it's so hard because he will be nine hours away from home, but the truth is, it will be hard because I love having him around.

Trying to fall asleep last night, and failing again, my mind raced through memories.

• Nathan at eight months, propped up on the pillows in our bed between us, everyone reading a book,
• Nathan at eighteen months, wanting desperately to be close to us at bedtime and sleeping behind his bedroom door (imagine getting in without hurting him),
• Nathan at two years, falling out of his toddler bed, rolling underneath it, sleeping through it all until he tried to sit up and couldn't. WAIL!
• Nathan's third birthday at the zoo,
• Nathan crying the day after he got his tonsils out because he couldn't go to school (and his teacher kindly stopping by to bring him a book to read while he recovered),
• Nathan conning Ben into doing their chores by playing "Pokemon trainer" -- he'd train and Ben would be the faithful, hardworking Pokemon,
• Nathan telling us he had prayed for us to have a desire to adopt a baby (thus the sudden and unexpected road to Ellie),
• Nathan marching in the Macy's parade,
• Nathan with strep, mono, pneumonia and a 104.9 degree fever all at the same time,
• Nathan teaching kids at summer church camp,
• Nathan sitting on the front row at graduation, no longer a little boy, but a young man.
• And more....

Tick! Tock! Clock

Oh my dear friends,

I haven't fallen off the planet. PROMISE! I am, however, a little busy at home. Our firstborn leaves for college Thursday... and we're getting ready.

Nathan meets Ellie for the first time.

His stuff is all packed. He is most definitely ready -- he even read ahead for one of his classes (maybe he learned a lesson or two in high school?)

Nathan and Ben hamming it up together on vacation.

He's so kind, though, concealing his anticipatory glee when I get sad. Not talking too much about next week. Taking time one on one with his siblings.

Even when I asked what he wants for dinner these last three nights, he's considerate. I know his favorites: tamale casserole (all the flavor of a tamale without the frustrating prep), chicken-sausage gumbo, and Greek. But he's staying true to himself, "...if you have time, Mom."

And now, hamming it up with his roommate to be.

Time? I thought I had all the time in the world. Wrong. He grew up. And I will miss him.

Love,

Hold My Tongue! An Update

Holding my tongue... Ohhhh.... It has always been a battle. (My family will shout AMEN! when they read this!) This week's challenge was really tough. I tried. I failed. I apologized. I tried. I failed. I apologized.

Then I prayed. And begged my prayer warrior friends to join me.

I tried again. I did better. I must say it helped a lot that the person at the other end of the frustration was kind, compassionate and really, as frustrated as I was with the whole situation. She extended far more grace than I deserved. I am grateful.

Holding my tongue continued to get easier -- that whole persistent prayer thing really works!

Yesterday, my heart followed my tongue. The quieter my tongue got, the softer my heart became. By midday, I prayed for her -- the person stuck in the middle of the storm -- and asked God to give her wisdom and make the path clear. I thanked God for her kindness. I thanked Him for softening my heart in the whole situation. God is so good. He really will give us peace, if we genuinely ask. No matter what the battle is!

At church last night, the pastor shared a couple verses that further sharpened my focus:

• Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! (1 Cor. 9:24)
• Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. (Hebrews 12:1)

Perhaps we went through this ordeal for me to understand. This whole life is a race -- run to glorify God. He wants to help me win. Holding my tongue is something God can help me do. With God's love in me, I can do it! And when it gets hard, there are people to cheer me on -- other believers who want me to succeed (my prayer warrior friends) and the heroes of the Bible (that great cloud of witnesses). It's not just my battle. The Christian community is one -- we run this race together. I don't hold my tongue for me. I hold my tongue for God -- it's a testimony to the great power of his love. Honestly, it's a HUGE testimony of the power of his love, because I can't do it alone!

Today, I am grateful to God for standing with me. I am thankful to God for the friends who stand by me. More, though, I am thankful to God for second chances to learn valuable lessons and thankful that He cheers me on.

Blessings,

Hold my tongue!

Today's verse is James 3:7-8, "All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by human beings, but no one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."

It came to me by text, as it does every day.

Ironically, I am festering with anger today. Unexpected, unpleasant news came our way and I. AM. MAD! Take a distrustful mama bear, envelope her in a swarm of angry hornets, and toss her in a mud pit... I'm that mad!

Ding! The text arrives... God gently -- fairly directly -- reminding me that what I do in this moment matters.  Will I respond to the situation in anger -- I sure do want to let my lawyer-side do the talking. OR, will I address this news in love.

Stay tuned... I'll let you know how I did.

In the meantime, pray for a quiet tongue! I'd even accept the gift of laryngitis about now!

Thanks friends,

Cheap textbooks..... well, cheaper anyway.

Hello friends,

This is a practical post for college students and the parents who pay for it... If your kids are in high school, consider bookmarking this page or pinning it to your pinterest college board for quick access later!

Most universities make schedules and book requirements available online a month or two before classes start. While I really don't want to think ahead all that far, the practical side of me wants to save a few dollars wherever we can. Using the tips and resources below, we saved 25.66% on Nathan's books for fall semester. It's easy!

Here's how to do it:

1.  Look up courses and book requirements at the school website (through the student portal).
2. Record title, ISBN numbers (copy and paste to a document if you can) and school bookstore prices. We recorded prices of used/new books.
3. Use the same information (essentially the ISBN number) to search prices on other websites:
• Amazon
• Textbooks.com
• Chegg.com
4. At each site, make sure you know the condition of the book -- especially workbooks and books that include CDs -- as well as tax and shipping costs. 
5. Record the prices by site and make your purchases.
6. In a separate mailbox or file on your email, create a folder to save receipts.

Here's how it worked for us.

1. Nathan needs a total of six textbooks. At the school bookstore the used book cost was $318.70 and the new book cost was $424.80 (OUCH!)
2. We found three used books at textbooks.com for $123.83, free shipping.
3. We found a new workbook and another used textbook at Amazon for $64.64, free shipping.
4. Our total cost for five books was $188.47.
5. One book was not available at any site (new edition for 2012), so we will purchase it through the school for $89. Our grand total is $277.47, a 13% savings over all used prices and a 35% savings over new prices. Since we purchased some used and some new books, the total savings worked out to about 25%.

Some helpful tips.

1. If purchasing books to use over multiple semesters, consider buying new or "like new" used books so that it lasts as long as you need it.
2. If purchasing workbooks, consider buying new (we bought one). Is it really a time-saver or a benefit to use a workbook someone else already used? Figure out the answers yourself, using a new book.
3. Make sure books include everything they would if new, including CDs and pullout maps. You might need them!

College is expensive, but with a just a little time invested, you can rein in costs. Our two hour investment saved over $100, well worth the time.

Hope that helps.

Karen

My heart...

I've been mom for 18 years. I'm learning to let go, here at the far end of the mommyhood journey. I know I'll always be "Mom," but "mama" and all the associated needs, wants, demands, and daily interaction that go with it are about to end. It's transition time...

Last night, he asked, "Will we still see each other a lot when I'm an adult?" I love that he thinks about such things.

We talked some. I told him my Norman Rockwellian dreams of generations sleeping under the same roof, waking on Christmas morning to eat breakfast, open gifts, play together, laugh and sing. I teared up as I shared. He smiled.

I asked if it's too much to ask.

He said, "No. I'd really like that too." Really? Yes, he assured me, REALLY!

I'm so thankful for 18 years to love him every day. Face to face, I mean. I know the future means less...

Oh, my heart.... such joy, excitement, anticipation and pride. I know he's ready for the next step.

Oh my heart.... the hole is coming. I feel it already. I just pray that it doesn't hurt too much.

Predestination or Free Will

He flopped down on the couch across the room, propping his feet on the coffee table and asked, non-chalantly, "Mom, do you believe in predestination or free will?

There I was, working on a travel blog post when his question crashed over my head. Ohhh, God, I don't know this answer to this one. I prayed quietly for instant wisdom on the question of the ages, "Which is it: predestination or free will?" And then I bought myself some time.

"What do you think?" I asked, interested.

He shared some thoughts. I listened. I kept praying. I shared

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king's horses and all the king's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again.

What if Humpty Dumpty had asked the KING instead?

Thank you, Pastor Clay NeSmith of Barefoot Church

in North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina,

for sharing this profound thought with us last weekend.

Who do you trust? God's power or man's?

Happy Birthday, America!

If you love something

If you love something, set it free. 

If it comes back to you, it's yours. 

If it doesn't, it was never meant to be.

In high school or college, maybe that was true when it came to boys. You know, smother him and he will run. Give him space to be a guy and maybe... or maybe not...

With our kids, it's much the same. Except maybe I'd rewrite it:

If you love something, set it free.

Gradually, over time, with maturity.

Otherwise, you'll smother it to death!

And it will resent you and never come back.

Mine's not nearly as poetic, but it is true.

The trouble with kids is you give them space to grow and sometimes they blow it. Grrrrrrr.... We're supposed to give him (or her) wings to fly -- but he crashed and burned. Now what? That's the tough stuff, the in between stuff, the messy stuff that makes parenting the worst job ever. 

But it's exactly what the job is about. When it gets messy, we don't clip their wings to ground them, though, honestly it's what we might want to do. When they blow it, as they often will, we get the opportunity to parent again. Only now, with big kids, we step in next to them and offer a hand. 

We help them stand back up. We encourage as they brush off the messy stuff. We listen. Listen a lot!

Then, we hold our breath -- or bite our tongue if that's what it takes. We clamp our hands firmly behind our backs. And we watch.

As they clean up the messy stuff. The stuff they look too little for. But yet, as they grow, they are ready. They can clean up the mess.

If you love something, set it free. It's not easy. But it's necessary.

Parenting tip via A. W. Tozer

Everything is safe which we commit to Him,

and nothing is really safe

which is not so committed.

A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

Do you worry about your kids?
OR do you trust that God, our Creator and Father, holds them safely in the palm of His hand?

The rudiments of parenting include:

• Trusting God with our kids' lives 
• Praying for Him to stretch their hearts for the plan He has for them
• Knowing that God's way is always best
• Teaching them to follow Him all the days of their lives

Worrying doesn't accomplish any of that!

[Parents], do not exasperate (infuriate, incense, anger, annoy, irritate, madden, enrage, antagonize, provoke, irk or vex) your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life [or your children's lives], what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear [kids will survive without designer labels and all the "right" clubs, organizations, activities and groups]. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?... Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

Jesus, Matthew 6:25, 27

I am way too good at annoying my children. I question their decision making. I micromanage when I need to let go. I worry, telling them through my actions that I don't trust them or God.

It's time to live the faith I profess with my mouth and loosen my grip. I must let go of them and hold more tightly to Him.

Love,

The Rudiments

Sounds great!

Getting a head start on college, Nathan spends 30 minutes each morning practicing the rudiments, scales: major, minor and harmonic. His fingers race up and down the keyboard, faster. Faster. Once in a while he fumbles a transition and starts over. Slowly. Then he builds up the speed again.

Boring! Very, very, very boring!

And then... he plays one of the masters: Beethoven, Rachmaninoff, Bach, Chopin. He hits that place in the music that runs up and down the keyboard, fast, much like the scales.

In context, so beautiful. Hardly boring!

Nathan understands (now... not so much when he was twelve) that those scales prepare his fingers to recognize musical patterns that appear in every major work. He knows that the discipline of the rudiments make him a better pianist. He realizes that the scales prepare him to learn complex pieces more easily.

Today, I ponder whether I am as disciplined in the areas of my life that matter? My faith? Prayer life? Dedication to my husband and children?

As the heat rolls in across sunny North Carolina, I will be sipping tea, reading the Bible and listening to my Creator -- it's time for me to develop self-discipline in the rudiments of faith.

Care to join me?

Love,

Huh? (part two)

You know how I am -- always trying to learn. As I reflected on my child's inattention-masked-as-severe-hearing-loss, I realized I act the same way. Except for me, I choose not to hear God.

I know it's how I am. Even though I know that listening to God leads to my best, I still find myself ignoring Him. I remember when God whispered his plan to adopt into my heart. For months, I pretended it wasn't him and blamed midlife crisis, my children's growing independence and insanity for those thoughts.

One evening while watching football with my hubby, long after I had realized God was speaking to me, He "told" me to tell my husband. What did I do? I stood up, stretched, and went to bed! Mind you, it was the middle of the third quarter in a hotly contested playoff game and I LOVE FOOTBALL! Yes... you can call me stubborn! I wasn't going to listen to God no matter how hard He pushed.

You probably figured out by now that I did eventually listen to God since my daughter is Chinese and my husband is not.

I still wonder why. Why don't I listen the first time God speaks? Why don't I trust that He is smarter, wiser and definitely more perfect than me? Why don't I live the way I teach my kids to live? Why am I so stubborn?

I don't have the answer, but I am comforted knowing that even Paul struggled to follow God. Romans 7:15, 19 (NLT) says, "I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate... For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing."

I wonder... If I start listening to God the first time, perhaps my kids might suddenly be cured of their "hearing loss?" Just a thought!

How about you? Do you listen to God the first time? Or does He have to badger you, too? Any suggestions to help me listen better?

Huh?

This past week, one of my kids developed the incredibly lazy "huh" habit. No matter what I say -- or the hubby for that matter -- the response is "Huh?" Every time. ANNOYING! Wondering if said child might be suffering a build up of ear wax or perhaps an ear infection, I tested the "Huh"-giver with a quietly whispered, "Would you like a donut?" Instantly, the response was "YES!" So... it's not a physical problem. It's a laziness issue.

Not pleasant! Not. At. All.

So, I've decided -- and said child has been put on notice -- that I will not be repeating anything I say ever again. If child chooses to listen, great. If not, when lazybones wants to go out with friends without doing chores I've requested, well.... to borrow from the soup nazi, "No play for you!"

Listening is a learned art. My child, one way or another, will learn to listen!

Come back tomorrow to see what I'm learning through this whole thing! (Toe stepping time, you know)

Have a blessed day, friends!

Listen carefully :)

Shawn and Gus

Have you heard of the TV show psych? It's a hilarious comedy-mystery show featuring Shawn and Gus, BFFs since elementary school. The actors, James Roday and Dule' Hill, play perfectly off each other. The show is uproariously funny!

I just spent three days with the "real" Shawn and Gus! Yes, I did! It turns out that my son, Nathan, and his future roommate, Logan, are the inspiration for the characters on the show -- even if USA Network didn't know it back in 2006 when the series launched.

Nathan and Logan met in February, the last time we visited Samford. They hit it off right away and decided to room together. But since they only had a couple hours together back then, the families coordinated schedules to attend the same orientation -- just to be sure!

Sunday evening, we got together for dinner... except Shawn texted the wrong address to Gus. Waiting forever for them to arrive, Shawn's mom encouraged him to call Gus and find out where they were. Gus's parents, likewise, encouraged him to call and make sure they were headed to the right place -- as the address given sent them far away from Birmingham. Both guys assured their parents all was well. And we waited and drove in circles, respectively... though eventually we ate dinner, even if really late!

Monday morning, heading in to the opening session, the moms asked the boys to pose for a photo. This is what they gave us. Thanks, guys.

We managed to convince them to let us see their faces. They instantly said, "action pose." "Three. Two. One. Jump." Ta da!

Turns out the boys were just getting started. All week, they made their presence known on campus! They got a frisbee and made themselves at home on the quad -- and by the end of day two, five other guys had joined them. They closed down karaoke night with "A Whole New World" from Aladdin, sung to Shawn's orientation leader, Jasmine!

                            

The boys used their one night in the dorm to rearrange the furniture and find the "perfect layout" for the fall. They ate non-stop, joked non-stop, tweeted non-stop -- back and forth of course, and had the best two days an upcoming college freshman could possibly hope for!

They talked about other stuff, too. Un-Shawnlike, they agreed to hold each other accountable with studies, behavior and balance at school. They discussed how and when and what to involve themselves with on campus. They planned who will bring which "essentials" to school: coffee maker and video game system high on that list!

The "real" Shawn and Gus may be heading off to college for the first time, but together, this dynamic duo is undoubtedly ahead of the curve on adjustment. God arranged for them to be raised in Christian homes with remarkably similar values. He gave them compatible personalities: easy-going, fun-loving and studious. He brought them together in answer to their mutual prayers for a Godly, like-minded roommate. Shawn and Gus are most definitely ready for life at Samford.

The only question left is, "Samford, are you REALLY, TRULY READY for Shawn and Gus?"

Wait on God

A great reminder for parents,
no matter how old our kids are!

College orientation is in the books! One more item checked off our to do list before kid one launches into phase one of adult life.

Like everything else at Samford, orientation was awesome. I met university staff, got contact numbers and email addresses -- even for the executive chef at the "caf," and discovered new friends. More than anything, my heart and mind filled with peace. I know that my son is headed to a school that cares about student success -- in the classroom, in free time, and in life. For the most part, the information offered at parent sessions was exactly what I expected, though provided with a bit more excellence than anticipated. I'm not sure why, but it's always better than I expect. That's good, right?

Then I attended the parents' worship service and, well, orientation moved beyond checking off another to do list item and became a pivotal life moment. The minister shared (my paraphrase) that while this is a significant step in my child's life, it is also a big moment in my life. I was reminded that while God takes away (my son's and my relationship is about to change permanently), He also gives. The time I spent raising my son is done... yes, I still get to be the mama and offer advice, but not as often and only when asked. That means I've done this job well. Now it's time to discover what God has next for me. I do not end when my son leaves home.

The minister encouraged us to wait on God with open hearts and hands, to discover the next step in His plan for our lives. It's not over -- it's time for a change. It's time to step into what's next... 

Not just for my son, but for me.

May the God of hope fill you

with all joy and peace

as you trust in Him 

so that you may overflow with hope

by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

The service closed with that verse, my life verse. God couldn't have said "I love you" any more clearly.

God bless!

College Orientation... where did the time go?

So, number one and I are in Birmingham again. This time it's orientation. YIKES! Soon my son will live here -- and I'll be there.

So far, I've been excited about the whole thing. But, like he texted to me the other day, "This whole orientation thing just hit me." It's hitting me too.

Our road trips these past few years have been so fun. But soon, he won't be road tripping with me. His weekends will be filled with new friends and homework and frisbee. But not me.

The next time we come here, I'll leave him behind. To fend for himself. Alone. I know he's ready.

The question is, "Am I?"

Love More

Letting Go

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring,

it means I can't do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off,

it's the realization that I can't control another.

To let go is not to enable,

but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness,

which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try to blame or change another,

I can only change myself.

To let go is not to care for, but to care about.

To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge,

but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,

but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.

To let go is not to be protective,

it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny, but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,

but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,

but to take each day as it comes.

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,

but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past,

but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more.

by Anonymous

As our kids grow, letting go can be hard, but it's what they need. If you struggle with letting go - whether for the first day of preschool or the first day of college - I recommend Give Them Wings: Preparing for the time your teens leave home, by Carol Kuykendall, published by Focus on the Family. Thank you, Barb.

Reflections

Oh how I wish I had a cool pic for this post... alas...

I've been asked dozens of times about the tears. Yet, I have not cried. My heart swells with joy at my son's accomplishments, his thought process as he prepares to go forward, and his drive to give his best.

While he cherished his Tigger outfit, he's now my J.Crew man, wearing dapper ties because that's who he now is.

Those collages and projects of the elementary years gave way to lengthy essays analyzing the Life of Pi.

Early piano recitals involved learning technique-friendly piano book songs, but now he wows people with Rachmaninoff.

His "job" when he was little was simply to clean his room, but now he drives off to work asking for extra shifts to save for the fall.

Freshman year, he fell for the "good enough argument" (an honors B equals an non-honors A), but this year he achieved straight A's in AP classes, finally appreciating that "good enough" means giving your best.

This chapter of my son's life comes to a close... but as I look back, I don't long for the Tigger-loving days. I rejoice that he has chosen to listen to our advice, he desires to give his best at piano, school, work and in relationships, and that he loves God with all his heart. I'm thankful for the foundational early years, but I am thrilled for today.

He's not done growing yet... I have a feeling that when we reach the next milestone, we'll look back on four years of college with same joy, pride and love we have now.

By humility and the fear of the Lord

Are riches and honor and life.

Proverbs 22:4

Congratulations, Nathan! Always, finish strong!

With love,

Mom

Nine, YES NINE, days of madness!

June 2012... In pictures.

Celebrating Ben's 15th birthday (June 9th)...
a few days early, on June 1st, with the "grands"

Celebrating Ellie's 8th birthday, also a few days early
on Saturday, June 2nd with a special pan"cake" 

Ellie's first dance recital: ballet and jazz.
Saturday evening, June 2nd
She was adorable!

2012 Graduation luncheon at church.
Here with Tyler, Chris and youth pastor, Christian.
Sunday, June 3rd

Nathan on piano for one last Baccalaureate Service,
this time for his own class.
Sunday evening, June 3rd

A mini-concert for the "grands" to cap off the evening
Sunday, June 3rd

Then... a mini break during the week to prepare for the "BIG EVENT!"

Nathan Michael Dawkins,
Officially a high school graduate!
Friday, June 8th
 

And to cap it all off, a party in his honor
Saturday, June 9th
(If you followed all the dates, this is also his brother's actual birthday!)





Thank You, God, for the blessing of family!

So far... YIPPEE!!!

Nathan graduates tomorrow... So far, no sadness. No tears, except those caused by Barb and the Tigger pillow.

I'm just sooo excited!

He's ready for the next step and I look forward to watching him continue to grow into the man God always meant him to be.

(Of course, as the mama, I DO reserve the right to shed a few tears tomorrow!)

Lots of love!!!

T is for Tigger, T I Double Guh Er

He graduates this Friday,

our first-born son...

the one who broke us gently in

to our role as parents.

He's crammed a lot of life

into his first 18 years.

Such sweet memories as we look back.

Remembering.

Perhaps our favorite...

the Tigger days!

When every load of wash

included his favorite outfit

to wear again and again and again.

Usually three times a week.

Suitable for playing in the sand

(or the volleyball pit)

Rockin' a little 

Blues Brothers with Dad

Or taking a nap!

Our little Tigger

sure is a wonderful thing!

He's bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy...

Fun, fun, fun, fun fun!

And soon,

he will leave for college.

But it won't be good-bye...

We'll simply say,

"Ta Ta for now!"

Special thanks to my dear friend, Barb, for the memory quilt. 
And for the unexpected treasure of the T.T.F.N. pillow for mom.
You captured a lifetime in one simple act.
Thank you.

Finish Strong!

My sweet bug-loving girl!

Every day before Ellie heads off to the bus, we pray. Some days, I offer instructional prayers, like "God, please help Ellie remember to talk only when it's her turn and not to take more than she should from the reward jar." Sometimes, I pray more for her teacher -- especially as the year comes to a close and the kids care more about summer than math!

Lately, though, my prayers have ended with, "Help Ellie finish strong." We've been talking about that a lot -- the school year isn't done till it's done, so finish strong! Your room is almost clean, so don't give up and finish strong. Math homework IS hard, but keep a good attitude and finish strong. She knows that "finish strong" means give your best right up to the end!

Her dance recital is this Saturday, which means two extra practices. Instead of dance only on Tuesday, we added Wednesday and Thursday too. That's a lot of hard work for my seven year old.

As I tucked her into bed last night, her long week drawing to a close, Ellie spoke softly, "Thanks for praying for me to finish strong, Mommy. God answered that prayer today." Melt. My. Heart!

Thanks for praying. Of course!

Baby girl, I have prayed for you since before I knew you. I will continue to pray all the days of my life. I love you. More than that I rejoice that you are discovering how very much your eternal Father in heaven loves you!

Jesus loves the little children,

all the children of the world,

Red and yellow, black and white,

they are precious in His sight.

Jesus loves the little children

of the world!

Special blog posts about special kids

This week, I am honored to be sharing two posts over at Encouragement Cafe with Luann and Friends. Please stop by. I hope it's a blessing to you!

Jesus Loves the Little Children

and

Shattered Dreams and New Hope.

God bless!

Paid in full

Running errands this weekend in preparation for Nathan's graduation party next weekend, I noticed gas prices had dropped to $3.29. Hardly a bargain, but so much better than prices have been, I made the quick decision to top off the tank... just in case they creep back up.

Approaching the pump island, another car came toward me, both of us headed for the same row of pumps. Since I was making the right turn, I got to pull in first. Credit card in hand, I proceeded to the pump as I've done hundreds of times. The screen said, "$55 prepaid. Lift nozzle and select grade." Baffled, I looked around. Everyone at the station was at a tank, pumping gas. No one was waiting in the wings.

"Really?" I thought, "Free gas? Nah." I pushed the button to ask the clerk. She seemed confused. "It's prepaid. Go ahead and pump." She didn't seem to care that I hadn't been the one to prepay it. I asked again, "Are you sure I can have this gas?" "Yes," she replied, "It's paid in full. Go ahead and pump." I heard a hint of, "Wow... this lady doesn't understand how gas pumps work." 

There was no, "Jesus loves you." OR "Someone came in and wanted to pay it forward." Just... "It's paid in full.... (now leave me alone)."

So, I pumped, expecting alarm bells and police cruisers to appear. Nothing happened. The pump quit at $34.14. I smiled to myself as I realized someone else would also be blessed... in a strange way. I replaced the cap, closed the little door, pulled out of the station -- unnoticed. I finished my errands, the whole time expecting to be stopped by the police. Handcuffed. Sent to jail.

It's been a few days and still no police. I think I really was allowed to use that free gas, though it's the strangest blessing ever!

Ever since, I have also been thinking that many of us approach Christianity this same way. Jesus paid in full the required sacrifice for our sins, but we can't really fathom it. We wonder, "What's the catch?" "Who's out there watching me to mess up?" OR "If I accept Jesus, I won't ever have fun again." We miss the blessing and focus on other, irrelevant stuff.

Accepting Jesus is a simple thing that we make hard. Really. First, He loves you enough to pay the price in full. No strings. No one waiting in the wings to bust you for making a mistake. Seriously, God doesn't have angel cops out there waiting for you to mess it all up so he can throw you into some pit of damnation. He just loves you. 

Second, God wants you to receive this blessing with all your heart -- no worries about other things. Just be thankful. Otherwise, you miss out on what you've been given, new life IN CHRIST that is infinitely better than the old, sinful life. 

Third, you can have fun! YES, true Christian living means not getting drunk, not sinning in anger, and more... but Christian living replaces all that with true peace -- you can lay your head on your pillow at night knowing that you matter. Christian living is true joy -- a heart full of things you can't imagine without Jesus. God's love is true love -- knowing you, with all your warts, secrets, and skeletons. 100%. All the time.

Jesus paid in full the required sacrifice for the forgiveness of our sins. He's got us covered. We can accept it and live in that joy... Or, we can reject it and look over our shoulder the rest of our lives and miss the blessing.

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide.

I said to myself, "I will confess my rebellion to the Lord."

And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

Psalm 32:5

Where are you today?

P.S. To the generous person who bought my gas. Thank you!!!

Top ten Bible verses for guarding your heart

Like I said Wednesday, Satan is like SPAM! He tip-toes in, slinking about as he slowly seizes your day, your week, your joy, your life -- much like the spammer sneaks in to steal your money and financial identity. We take steps to protect our finances, reading emails carefully, installing anti-spam software and making ever more complicated passwords to avoid being hacked. But do we do the same to guard our hearts against Satan?

The Bible is filled with wise instruction on guarding the heart, particularly in the book of Proverbs (the book of WISDOM)! Here are ten of the best Bible verses to help us guard our hearts. They remind us why to protect our heart, how to protect our heart and who we live for. Let's commit them to memory and spam-proof our hearts. Sound good?

Proverbs 4:23, "Guard your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."

Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Romans 12:2 (NIV), "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Psalm 51:10, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."

John 10:10 (NIV), "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Proverbs 23:26, "My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways."

Proverbs 3:1-2 (NIV), "My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity."

Luke 6:45, "The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."

Colossians 3:1 (NIV), "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God."

Deuteronomy 4:9, "But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren."

May God bless you as you gaurd your heart to live only for Him!

Love,

This is NOT spam

SPAM! It literally gives me the chills, receiving an email that starts, "Dear Karen, I hope this finds you well. I am writing to tell you about..." You know the ones? They start out all personal and warm, and then ask for my bank routing number and other personal information so I can get in on the most amazing opportunity ever! CREEPY!!!

I got one today, so apparently my email spam filter is on vacation. Grrrr...

As I deleted this morning's offensive spam, I realized that my visceral reaction to spam mimics the internal response the Holy Spirit gives me when satan tries to SPAM my life.

Yep! Satan is spam! He starts out all personal and warm.... like with Eve in Genesis 3:1-6:

[Satan] said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. 

Crafty! He seems to ask, "Are you sure you heard God right?" And then... "If you eat that fruit you will become as wise as God." Ooooohhhhhh.... If I give Mr. Spammer my banking information, I'll become as rich as Bill Gates! Yeah, right!

You'd think I'd be smarter than Eve. After all, she didn't have the Bible to guide her, friends to encourage her or a pastor to preach truth each weekend. I'm not, though. I may not fall for the spammer's temptation. When that warning bell rings, loud and clear, I hit the delete button fast! An automatic response that requires almost no thought from me.

BUT... when Satan attempts to SPAM MY LIFE, my response is hardly as swift or sure. Throughout the day, instead of being thankful for the family God has chosen to give me, I complain, ".... lazy." "Did he really forget to ____________ again? (insert sarcastic tone as well)." "Why does no one around here appreciate me?" You know... little ingratitudes that pile up all day long. Finally, we sit down to dinner and I yip and snap at everyone for minor annoyances that hardly warrant my reaction. Satan spammed my day. Worse, I let him do it. YUCK!

How does Satan spam your life? More importantly, what are you going to do about it -- let him keep stealing your joy or learn to listen to the warning bells and make some changes?

How about we all commit to installing some anti-spam software in our hearts? Come back Friday for a list of verses to get us started!

Lots of love,

The Editing Room

Have you read The Hunger Games? Seen the movie? Or how about The Kite Runner? Or Harry Potter? With few exceptions, books and the movies they inspire aren't all that much alike. The movie watcher might get a sense of the book, but there's always more to the book than a movie ever shows. Some of the subtlety is lost in the movie translation, left on the editing room floor.

















It's like that with real life too. You meet someone for the first time and decide in seconds whether you like them or not. You read into their actions and words, sizing them up and filling in the blanks. Not just you. We all do. We judge others, using what little information we get the first time we meet, to decide whether to pursue a friendship or relationship of any kind.

How often have you walked away from an encounter thinking (if not saying), something like, "Wow. Get over yourself." OR "This world isn't all about you, buddy." OR "What's her problem?"

How about road rage? We assume that the road ragers out there are all about themselves. As a mom to two teenage boys, I am hyper-aware of road rage right now, and I certainly do not condone it. But, what might appear to be road rage, might in fact be a man trying to get to the hospital to say his final good-byes to his dad. It might be the single mom, released from her job and distracted -- overwhelmed -- by the very real possibility of losing her home and having to make tough choices with her kids. It might be... all sorts of things.

We judge others based on limited interaction. But the reality is, we do not know what's left on the editing room floor of their lives. Anthony Evans shared that thought with my church family this weekend... and it has stuck with me ever since. Why do we judge others? Why do we ASSUME we know who they are based on 15 seconds of conversation? Why don't we choose to love and learn?

Why don't we get to know each other a little better? Why don't we simply love? Care just a little more about the events left on the editing room floor?

Romans 14:10, "You, then, why do you judge your brother?

Or why do you look down on your brother?

For we will all stand before God's judgment seat."

Love,

Real life

The internet is a strange "friend." Some of us are consumed by social networks, speaking to others only through facebook, twitter and blogs. Others have forgotten that these "virtual worlds" only provide snippets of reality. Surfing longingly through beautiful homes, fashion pins and hairstyles on pinterest, our own homes are neglected. The reality is nobody lives in a pinterest house!

Others have lost their jobs and families because their "need" for internet gaming consumes their every waking hour. Teens use these social sites to bully others -- as if the face to face bullying in schools isn't enough. Some die from the effects of bullying or because their virtual self died. The internet is impersonal, cold, and untrue.

Yet...

Real life family!

I recently sent an email to the adoption agency we used to bring Ellie home, offering to write a post for them about the attachment and adjustment issues we faced after she came home. They asked to post that email, as is, on their blog and I consented. I expected nothing.

Within days, people responded. Other parents, whose kids weren't easily adjusting to life in a forever family, poured out their hearts, their hurts and their frustrations. My heart ached. Our hurts, dulled by the passage of time, remembered once again as I read their stories. The sadness. The disappointment, not in the kids but in the shattered dreams. The fears, will she ever function in this world or is she trapped inside the hurt forever.

I didn't expect anyone to respond to that post. 

Years ago, when we were going through the pain, I didn't expect it ever to help anyone else.

But God knew. He knew the challenges Ellie would have. He knew the war for her heart and mind that we would fight. He knew the joy of the outcome... and He knew that our hurt, anger and disappointment would one day be used for good. He knew that our journey would become the light in someone else's dark tunnel. He knew!

The internet is not real life! Facebook is not real. Blogs are not "real." But God... sometimes uses them to connect people who would never "meet" otherwise. God used the internet to take our journey to the Pacific Northwest and New York, places I've never been. 


The internet is not real life... but when we, the authors of the internet, write real material from our hearts, God does use it for good, to promote fellowship and remind others of his faithfulness. 


Today, consider what you post in your blog, on facebook or even your pinterest. 


Is it real? 

Mysterious love

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

The Christian knows the "feeling." Christian love among friends is the glue. It provides a bond that defies explanation. Deep inside we sense that we can be honest without fear of retribution or judgment. True love IN CHRIST is the greatest gift we can give another. It offers encouragement in the midst of hardship, understanding in the deepest pain, and hope to the hopeless. 

Have you been loved in the love of Christ? Do you love with His love?