Praying for my marriage

As my church family and Christians around the world participate in a 21 day Daniel Fast, I have committed to praying specifically for each member of my family - among other things.

We will celebrate our 20th anniversary this year. Twenty years. WOW! In the B.C. years (before children), we were both grad students, no income. Our "dates" consisted of time together at the hospital (he was a medical student, so lots of time there and not much time at home). It may not sound romantic - but those were some happy times. Together. Money not required.

At the office where I interned, my boss would ask every morning, "How is married life?" My reply, "A ten." Every day. My husband was - and still is - patient, understanding, and thoughtful. He lets me know I am his princess - not just with words, but in what he does.

Last week, we got the chance to reconnect with an "old-fashioned date." We attended a dinner for the doctors at the hospital... sounds corny, perhaps, but it really took us back to those early days. I think it was the first date in years that conversation didn't slip into concerns about kids, work, or other mundane items (kids are not mundane, but talking about them can be). Instead, we remembered the old days (chasing spotlights, long conversations in the resident's lounge, scrabble and yahtzee), and we talked about the here-and-now. It was bliss!

Looking back through 20 years, I realize there were seasons when I took him for granted. I'd get grumpy and demanding. I now realize that he has not changed in 20 years. He's who he has always been: genuine, loving and true.

Dear God, You understand us better than we understand ourselves. I praise you for creating marriage: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." (Gen 2:24) Thank you for providing me the perfect husband for me. Thank you for guiding us in love, forgiveness and unity. Help me always to remember what drew us together, and not to let the grind of daily life interrupt my marriage. You are the reason we have love. Thank you. Amen

Back to the Basics

Be earnest and unwearied and steadfast in your prayer life, being both alert and intent in praying with thanksgiving. Col. 4:2 (Amp)

Last week, high school band students across the state participated in county and district tryouts. Each musician competed against others for these elite spots. Our son competed in the snare drum, demonstrating his skill with a prepared music piece, sight-reading and rudiments. He has competed musically for many years, but this is the first time the word rudiments has ever come into play... and it got me thinking.

Rudiments. It means the basics. The basic elements of playing snare are the roll, the flam and the paradiddle.

Rudiments. The basics of the Christian life. Prayer, Worship and Bible study.

I wonder if God is pleased with me. Not because I want a great score on the "tryout for heaven." There's no way to ever "score" high enough to be worthy of heaven. That's why His love is filled with grace.

Rather, I know I am not always faithful in the rudiments of Christian living. There are days when I am "too busy for God." I skip my morning quiet time. I pray the gimmee prayer: gimmee peace; gimmee favor in traffic because I woke up late; gimmee a break - these kids are driving me crazy! I worship each weekend, but sometimes I can spend a day grumbling about my circumstances.

Christians across the world begin a 21 day fast this week. (It started last night at sundown). During this fast, I plan to dedicate my heart to the rudiments: prayer, worship and Bible study. It's all God asks.

Prayer and Fasting in the New Year

Our church family is getting ready for a 21 day Daniel Fast as part of "awakening." It started with one church, and now churches and Christians across the globe are participating together. The goal of this Daniel Fast is not to diet! The goal is to get our eyes and hearts focused on God - starting the year on the right foot, so to speak.

Our family, or at least my husband and I, have fasted with the church several times in the past. The first time, a bit chicken, our family fasted television instead of food. The second fast, we stepped it up and fasted dinner. The third time, we got serious - or so I thought. We jumped in and did the whole deal (following the Daniel Fast, praying for my church and my family). A few times now.

It's inconvenient. Imagine having a dinnertime job interview during a fast. Explain that! Birthdays happen during the fast. But we did it. We fasted, and everybody knew it. But, fasting isn't about fasting. I'm just now figuring that out! (So, I'm a little slow). It's not about the self-discipline. It's about faith! Trusting God.

To prepare for this year’s fast, I read Jentezen Franklin’s book, Fasting. I now realize that what I thought was “the whole deal,” was not. I am sure God honored my efforts. He’s a good and gracious God. Yet, I am learning that fasting is much more about the heart than it is about the obedience. Isn’t that true of the Christian life?

Fasting isn't about making it through deprivation or pious self-denial. It's about the heart, worshipping God, praying, laying our lives before him. What a beautiful way to start the new year!

As a result, this year, I will approach it differently. Instead of praying for the church and for our family generally, as I have in the past, I will pray specifically. I know some of the challenges I face in life, and I want victory. God wants me to have victory.

This year, I will dedicate focused prayer on:

• My relationship with my husband. We'll celebrate our 20th anniversary this year! That's a praise, right there. And I want God to provide more love, more joy, more tenderness in the next 20 years!
• My son, Nathan. My first-born baby is almost a man. He's preparing for the next stage of life. What an honor to be his mom and get to pray for his future: his college choice, his career, his beloved (whoever she might be).
• My son, Ben. He already has huge dreams for his life... among them to be able to sponsor a missionary 100% someday. What an awesome privilege to lay his future at the feet of the King of Kings.
• My daughter, Ellie. What a miracle she is, born to another mother to become my daughter. We share nothing, genetically. Yet we are so much alike! It's a blessing... and sometimes not. God is the glue to hold us together, even when we butt heads :)
• My future. I have big dreams! BIG DREAMS! I want God's blessing. His clarity.
• My unsaved friends and family. I know so many people who don't know Jesus. My heart breaks that they don't know Him the way I do. I would love to look back on 2010 knowing new people are part of God's family!
• My church... all churches. For vision, for passion, for purpose, for victory, for unity, for love in Christ.

Kicking off the fast this Sunday, I am thankful for my church family and my pastors, Matt and Martha Fry. I am thankful for a gracious God, who loves me. Me. More than I can imagine!

If you'll be fasting this January - or any time - and you want some resources on fasting, please check out these online resources. Remember, "a cord of three strands is not easily broken (Eccl. 4:12)." There's no need to fast alone!

• www.marthafry.org - this blog provides encouragement, suggestions, menus, recipes and shopping lists to make fasting easier.
• www.mattfry.com - this blog provides a lot of information on prayer and links to other fabulous church websites.
• http://leighfrance.blogspot.com/ - this blog includes (or will include) my friend's fasting journey.
• There are other great blogs and websites out there. Just search "Daniel Fast." God will get you where he wants you to go.

For those fasting with me, I pray that you are preparing your hearts, minds and souls for a tremendous 21 days. Please share what God is doing in your life... or what you are praying for! May this year be filled with blessings and love, beyond anything you hoped or imagined!