She considers a field and buys it... Proverbs 31:15
In "these parts," we have lots of fields for sale.When we moved here, tobacco fields covered most of the county. Our main streets are even named after tobacco terms. Today, though, many of those fields lie fallow, sprouting nothing but for sale signs. I've considered those fields, but I would never buy one. Not without God's prompting, that is. I suppose that if I pass a field with a big "Karen, this land's for you" sign, I'd listen.
How does this idea of purchasing a field apply to the modern woman, one who isn't likely to purchase farmland?
The first principle to understand is "to consider." My thesaurus offers these synonyms: contemplate, examine, review, assess, evaluate, appraise. To consider is a thoughtful process. It involves assessing and evaluating to determine the worthiness of the endeavor. Whether that endeavor is purchasing a field, shopping for clothes or selecting a television show, we should assess its worthiness.
In the family, what is "the field"?
Let's look at the parable of the four soils. In
Matthew 13:3-8, Jesus says "...a sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds came and devoured them. Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away. And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up and choked them. But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop..."
When my boys were young, they both took piano lessons. The older one flourished. The younger one, no matter how I bribed, threatened, screamed or stomped, hated every single minute. Every minute. He was like the seed that fell by the wayside. Having no desire for piano at all (trust me, he told us over and over), the birds of hate and anger came and devoured him. His little heart seed just wasn't wired for piano.
Sometimes, when kids show an interest in something, overzealous parents (some who wish they had gotten to do more when they were kids) take it as a sign of genius. Who hasn't heard the mom bragging about her precocious toddler who can read books by age three. Thinking the child is the next Einstein or Shakespeare, we sign them up for the best preschools, enroll in every enrichment activity at the library, museum and zoo. By second grade, every other kid in the class catches up and the rat race resumes, all advantage lost.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-enrichment, but that "passionate" interest in robotics might just be a passing interest. Throw a kid with a passing interest into a group of kids with a passionate interest about something, and that passing interest kid will get burned up. Without deep roots for the topic, his little seed burns up and dies. OR you could say his passing interest was choked out by all the other seeds, pushing their thorny way to the top. That analogy makes me think of "Toddlers and Tiaras." (A topic for another day.)
But then you have the kid whose talent and abilities match with the opportunity before him. That's the sweet spot, the seed planted in the perfect soil.Put a kid with talent in the right environment and she will thrive.
To make wise decisions like the Proverbs 31 woman, make your decisions with God. Choose what's best, not just what is good or sounds nice. Consider the effect of each decision on the entire family -- is the endeavor really worth the sacrifices each member must make? When we consider the full cost, we can better determine whether we're making a great investment in good soil or wasting time, energy and resources in bad soil.
To go deeper, meditate on these verses:
- Colossians 3:23, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men..."
- Ecclesiastes 7:11, "Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing and benefits those who see the sun."
- Proverbs 16:16 (NLT), "How much better to get wisdom than gold, and good judgment than silver!"
Consider these questions:
When you make decisions, do you take time to pray and seek God's wisdom or do you tend to do what seems right at the spur of the moment?
Have you ever enrolled your child in an activity, sport or program because it brought back memories or regrets from your own childhood? Did it work out well? Why or why not?
Does your family sacrifice a significant amount of time or resources consistently for the activities of one person over the rest? Is it worth the cost to the whole family?
Pray:
Offer your family's schedule and wallet to God, seeking His wisdom in every decision you make.
Ask Him to reveal any selfish motives you have in deciding to participate (or not to) in any activity.
Thank Him for His plan for your family and submit to it, even if that means some tough changes in the way you do things.
Please let me know how I can pray for you. If you aren't comfortable sharing your prayer request in the comments below, email me. My contact information is included on my "Contact" page. Please visit the other bloggers in this series for more encouragement.
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