Finish Strong!

My sweet bug-loving girl!

Every day before Ellie heads off to the bus, we pray. Some days, I offer instructional prayers, like "God, please help Ellie remember to talk only when it's her turn and not to take more than she should from the reward jar." Sometimes, I pray more for her teacher -- especially as the year comes to a close and the kids care more about summer than math!

Lately, though, my prayers have ended with, "Help Ellie finish strong." We've been talking about that a lot -- the school year isn't done till it's done, so finish strong! Your room is almost clean, so don't give up and finish strong. Math homework IS hard, but keep a good attitude and finish strong. She knows that "finish strong" means give your best right up to the end!

Her dance recital is this Saturday, which means two extra practices. Instead of dance only on Tuesday, we added Wednesday and Thursday too. That's a lot of hard work for my seven year old.

As I tucked her into bed last night, her long week drawing to a close, Ellie spoke softly, "Thanks for praying for me to finish strong, Mommy. God answered that prayer today." Melt. My. Heart!

Thanks for praying. Of course!

Baby girl, I have prayed for you since before I knew you. I will continue to pray all the days of my life. I love you. More than that I rejoice that you are discovering how very much your eternal Father in heaven loves you!

Jesus loves the little children,

all the children of the world,

Red and yellow, black and white,

they are precious in His sight.

Jesus loves the little children

of the world!

Sad good-byes

A friend of ours died suddenly Monday morning. She leaves behind her husband, two kids, parents, siblings and in laws. And lots and lots and lots of friends.

Sharon Umstead Jackson was the kind of lady everyone loves. Kind. Always happy, but not in a that bubbly over-the-top Legally Blonde kind of way. She just loved knowing you. It was simply impossible not to walk a bit lighter after a few minutes with Sharon. And at our church, new mamas would always trust Sharon with their babies! Our nursery lost a champion this week.

Her love spilled over into her kids. They're the kind of kids who everybody loves. They're always happy, but not over the top. They just love getting to know you. And, like their mom, your world is brighter after spending a few minutes with them.

That's quite a legacy!

Jimmy, Alex and Jenna, our hearts grieve with yours. We miss Sharon too. We love you all.

Sharon, until that day we meet again, you dance. You sing. You rock those babies in heaven. We love you.

Jesus said to (Mary), "I am the resurrection and the life. The one

who believes in me will live, even thought they die:

and whoever lives by believing in me will never die..."

John 11:25-26

I believe in miracles!

Did you read my post on freedom last week? I shared how I sometimes ignore the Holy Spirit's prompting -- on purpose! Really. I've been thinking about that ever since.

Why would I ever ignore God's prompting through the Holy Spirit? Why? Why? Why?

Scripture says:

• "I have come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." (John 10:10)
• "The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works." (Psalm 145:9)
• "But as it is written, no eye has seen nor ear has heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for those that love him." (1 Corinthians 2:9)
• "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever." (Ephesians 3:20-21)

Now, now.... Go back and read the scriptures. Don't skim over them. See, I might say something amazing, but I'm nowhere near as amazing as God. 

So here I am, little old Karen who knows that God's plan is beyond anything I could ever do on my own. He wants me to live an abundant life, which he prepared just for me. He can do more than I can ask or imagine! And I DREAM BIG!!! And what do I do? I take matters into my own hands. I ignore the Holy Spirit. I. AM. CRAZY!

Can you relate?

I'm so guilty of being the holy spirit to my kids. That's not my job, though. God wants me to guide them, instruct them and correct them. He wants me to encourage and nurture and pray for them. He wants to be the one to convict their hearts. Those rare times when I do my job and stay out of His, He does pretty amazing. Okay, more than pretty amazing -- He is jaw-dropping FANTASTIC at being God!

Maybe your marriage isn't all that you want it to be. Are you trying to fix it? Or will you let God work on you and leave your spouse to His care? Instead of pointing out your spouse's every short-coming, ask God to show you where you need to improve. Do it, God's way.

Do you hate your boss? Your coworkers? Maybe hate is a strong word.... Maybe you just find them clueless? Ignorant? Selfish? You know what, God didn't put you there to judge them. (Yes, I'm stomping on toes -- mine included!) He put you there to shine HIS light -- not your judgment -- into their lives. How? By following him. You don't have to do it! You just need to honor God and do things His way, walking by faith not by sight.

And when we do that, the most amazing thing happens. God moves. He intercedes. Problems we dread "suddenly" evaporate. Situations we fear resolve. Relationships we struggle with improve. God moves in every situation -- "[He] works for the good of those who love him." (Romans 8:28)

We get it backward. Bless me, then I'll follow you. He wants us to follow him, and then the blessings will flow.

What challenge do you face today? Will you commit your situation to God's care? AND ask Him to work on your heart while you're at it? Do you believe in miracles? I do! 

"Start Fresh"

I don't know about your inbox, but mine keeps filling with ads, blog posts and book suggestions offering the opportunity to "start fresh." This morning, a clothing store sent a "start fresh" sales promotion. I'm tempted to run out and get a few bright sweaters to warm up my winter wardrobe, but...

I got to thinking (that's how we say it around these parts), would a couple new sweaters really offer the fresh start I desire? Does organizing every room of the house really offer a fresh start? How about healthy eating -- does that change the entire course of my life, erasing the past so I can start fresh?

Sure, these things are good. New clothes in the closet brings a smile to the face, definitely a brighter look than the same old-same old tired look... but those clothes get old. The colors, no matter what color brightening detergent we use, fade with time. Sweaters lose their shape. Blouses lose their buttons.

An organized, uncluttered home does offer the benefit of being easier to maintain. Just this week, we emptied our family room and cleaned it from ceiling to floor. We rearranged the furniture and it "feels" cozier and more intimate. Everyone likes it. But rooms get dusty. Windows get dingy. And papers pile up.

Healthy eating offers many benefits: a trimmer waistline (I'm in my 40's -- such things don't come naturally anymore), shinier hair, and a clear complexion. Healthy eating certainly improves the quality of life, but it doesn't mean we'll live forever. No diet offers that.

If I'm going to start fresh, I'd like it to last. Forever. The only fresh start that offers forever is a relationship with Jesus. My prayer is that each one of you will know Him this year. If you've never asked Jesus to be the Lord and Savior of your life, I pray that my story, coupled with His love, will move your heart to want to know the same Jesus I know. If you know Him, but don't have his peace or joy in your life, I pray your heart will long to know Him better.

My words are not God-inspired like the Bible. This blog simply shares my journey as a Christian wife, mother and daughter of the King. When you read, I pray God speaks to your heart and nudges you into deeper relationship with Him. Living in His love is the one and only way to permanently start fresh!

If you know that Jesus is waiting on you to accept His gift of salvation, it's as simple as ABC!

• Admit you are a sinner and ask God's forgiveness.
• There is no one righteous, not even one... for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:10, 23.
• Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Romans 10:13.
• Believe in Jesus, God's one and only Son sent to live, die on a cross and be resurrected for you.
• For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16.
• To all who receive him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God. John 1:12.
• Confess that Jesus is your Lord.
• If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord (of my life)," and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead (to stand in punishment on your behalf for the forgiveness of your sins), you will be saved." Romans 10:9.

Pray this simple prayer:

Dear God,

I know that I am a sinner who needs a savior. I believe that Jesus is your Son, who was born to Mary, lived as a man and died on the cross sinless. I ask Jesus to be the Lord of my life so that my sins are forgiven and I may live in heaven eternally with You. Please forgive me of my sins and help me as I start fresh today, with You.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Maybe you've already asked Jesus into your heart, but you want to start fresh too. Friendship with Jesus, like with anyone, requires that you invest time. Pick that Bible up and dust it off. Open the cover and read. Let God's inspired word remind you that Jesus loves you -- all the time! Take a few minutes today, and every day, to talk with him. He will change your life forever! A friend of mine recently shared that time with him led her to forgiveness and an indwelling of peace that she never knew existed. Isn't that kind of friendship worth a bit of your time?

My prayer for us all is that God will fill us with a fresh start that lasts not just for a few days or weeks, but one that lasts a lifetime, into eternity.

With much love in Jesus,

Building Barnacles

Barnacles, for those who never thought about them (most of us?), are crustaceans that build up on pier pilings and ship bottoms in shallow salt water. They fight with other crustaceans to survive and use two strategies to win the battle: "swamping" and fast growth. With swamping, a great number of barnacles settle in the same place at once, basically using a "safety in numbers" strategy to survive. Even if some are knocked away and die, others remain to carry on. Fast growth allows them to build a column to reach higher water closer to the surface and to become large enough to resist being knocked away. When I think of anger -- especially mommy anger -- I'm a lot like a barnacle. That's not a pretty picture, is it?

Photo credit

I remember the first time I got angry with my first son. He kept shoving things into the CD player. I removed his hand, distracted him with a toy (or so I thought), picked him up and moved him away, but he kept going back. Finally, I swatted his hand and firmly said, "No!" Then I cried. Crocodile tears. I never wanted to be the mom who yelled and spanked (or swatted). If that had been the end of my anger, I wouldn't need to think about barnacles.

When our second son came along, he brought tears with him. From two months to about ten months of age, he cried and cried and cried. I tried everything, but he was not one to be soothed. Some days, I'd get so frustrated that I'd just put him in his crib and let him cry. (I'm not blaming him.)  

Unfortunately, that season allowed barnacles of anger to grow in me, building up as the day progressed. As he cried, the anger in me would build. (Thankfully, I never took it out on him.) By the time my husband got home from work, I'd be at the end of my rope. Little things would set me off and the screaming began -- mine! Like the swamping barnacle, my anger grew and grew until I finally exploded, perhaps just to be heard over all the tears. We got past that tough season and eventually learned that this little guy had sensory issues and a communication disorder -- there was a reason for all that crying!

As the boys got older, more rambunctious and curious, they got noisy. Two boys can generate a lot of noise. When I'd tell them to settle down, they didn't always respond. Our second son, especially, didn't understand verbal cues (that communication disorder, you know) and wouldn't obey. My anger would grow quickly, my voice harsh and loud to overwhelm him. 

The yelling became a habit, my go-to parenting style. "I just come from a family of yellers," I'd say. I didn't work on changing my behavior, I justified it. Over the past ten years (my boys are 17 and 14 as I write this), I have learned that screaming at kids is not Godly parenting. I know that my kids, generally, will respond to other forms of communication, but I haven't worked too hard to improve. Thanks to maturity in general I do better, but I've never really tried to subdue this behavior intentionally. I haven't really sought God's help through prayer, accountability or Bible study. 

Recently, my kids are quick to point out when I'm overly harsh. This past year, especially, they've often said, "Mom, you don't have to yell. I can hear you just fine." God convicting me through my kids? Maybe.

But I've just let the barnacles build.

Then comes Courtney...

Courtney, from Women Living Well, launched The Gentleness Challenge for "mommies everywhere who struggle with their temper." I wish this wasn't me, but it is. 

Link to The Gentleness Challenge. Join us!

I've got a few years left with kids under my roof (actually a lot, my youngest is only seven). It's about time I stop making excuses and start parenting without anger and yelling. It's time to knock these barnacles off and start living right, God's way!

But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, 

kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

How about you? More anger than you'd like at home? Please join us! 

In humility,

Whose in charge here anyway?

I've been a Christian quite a long time, but I'm finally beginning to understand some things. For the longest time, I got frustrated that I attended church every week but my life never seemed to work right. I kept battling the same problems: fears of financial insecurity, angry outbursts, pessimism, and laziness. (Please don't ask my husband if that's all... I'm sure he could add to the list.)

Somewhere along the line, it finally hit me. Psalm 16:11 says, "You will show me the path of life; Your presence is fullness of joy. At your right hand are pleasures forevermore." God will show me the path of life. In God's presence is the fullness of joy. At God's right hand are pleasures forevermore. Without God by my side, that joy I crave just isn't coming.

I had thought accept Jesus and be happy. The end. Christian living, though, is Christian relationship with Jesus. Time spent reading the Bible (and discovering truths like Psalm 16:11), praying, and praising God leads to joy. It took a while for me to figure out how to do that. Here's what my faith looks like now... It's a lot more than going to church on Sunday.

Time reading the Bible:

• When I read, I go passage by passage so I can think about the words. 
• I use a study Bible. I have several, but I started with the Life Application Study Bible which explains the ancient text as it applies today. 
• I read cross-references. The side margin includes links from one verse to other verses in the Bible. Reading those links helps me understand the broader meaning of the verse.
• I keep a journal and write my thoughts and prayers as they are inspired by the scripture. I ask God to show me how to apply the scripture in my life.

Prayer:

• My prayer time is casual. I talk to Jesus just like I'd talk with you. No fancy words. He knows what I'm thinking about, my stresses, worries, ideas and joys. 
• I tell him about prayer concerns my friends share with me and I trust him to handle their problems. (I used to try to figure out the solution for them, but I realize, that's HIS job!)
• I pray throughout the day, too. When I walk the dog, I pray for neighbors, especially my kids' friends. I pray for our family as I cook dinner. I throw up a quick prayer, "Jesus hold my tongue." when I want to scream at the kids.... OR "Jesus, I'm sorry." after I scream at them!
• I pray with my husband and kids. It keeps us close.
• Perhaps the thing I've learned to do best is LISTEN!!! Prayer is a conversation with Jesus. Listening is essential to a good conversation. He speaks, though it's hard to explain. Just try it. You'll see!

Praise!

• Praising God for all the good He does is exhilarating. Truly!
• Traffic jam? Praise God that you have a car to get stuck in.
• Kids driving you crazy? Praise God that you have been blessed with children. So many people long for the arguments you must endure... they don't have kids.
• Sick of macaroni and cheese again? Praise God for the meal on your table. Much of the world is going hungry.
• Keeping the temperature set at 67 to keep utility costs down? Praise God for your sweater -- or sweatshirt.
• Sunny skies out your window? Rejoice that He has given you another day! (You can praise for rain too :D)
• Basically, God blesses us with so much. We get so caught up in our wants and desires that we miss out. Choose not to miss the little things He does for you each day. You'll be amazed at your blessings once you start looking for them!

Most of my life, I've been "in charge." Or I thought I was. Really, though, I was captive to my emotions, fears and worries. They dictated how I lived. It was not fun! Now, God is in charge. He is the center and He's doing a great job! The more I trust Him the easier it is to trust Him more. (Yes, you can reread that sentence. It DOES make sense!!!) 

Who's in charge of your life? Is it you? Your feelings? Fears? Emotions? Finances? Or is it God? 

If you happened to read yesterday's post, Paint your world happy, I hope this post helps you understand how this new relationship with Jesus works. It's also important that you do get involved in a church. Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Accountability and encouragement from other Christians makes this all so much easier to understand. 

SYATP - See You at the Pole

For years, this last Wednesday in September starts with me taking the kids to church or school to pray at the flag pole. The kids take the lead: praying for teachers, classmates who need Jesus, their leaders, and themselves -- asking God to use them to make a difference.

We're missing it today -- something about coughing and hacking on all the kids seemed like a bad idea.

Sad.

Then it hit me. SYATP is a movement of students praying for each other and their world. Yes, it's nice to gather at a flag pole and pray corporately. But we can pray at home, too. Right? For the same thing?

In fact, shouldn't the SYATP prayer be our prayer every day? Parents, we can pray for our kids to be a light in the darkness. We can pray for their teachers and leaders. We can pray for our government.

Students, don't just pray one day a year. This should be your prayer every day. God use me. Help me touch other people's lives with your love. Help my teachers and leaders. Be with us, God. Help us make a difference.

If we pray one day a year and forget the rest, are we really doing all we should? SYATP is awesome! A public, corporate stand for Jesus. But...

Let's not forget the other 364 days.

God bless us, every one, every day.

Back to School Prayer: Full Armor of God

Put on the full armor of God 

so you can take your stand against the devil's schemes...

Ephesians 6:11

Another school year is off and running. We sent Nathan off at 6:30 a.m., before the sun arose -- as you can see in the picture! This is it, the last one... SENIOR YEAR! Not only that, we sent him off driving his car (that he paid for himself -- yes I am proud.) I still can't believe that the same smiley faced guy I sent to kindergarten "just yesterday" is almost done.

Here...

was...

Nathan (and his amazing smile)

driving off to his last first day of high school.
There are no pictures of my emotional heart or the lump in my throat.

Don't you love his shirt? He's so funny...

We did not send him off without prayer: For his year, for the first day of school, for wisdom, for his teachers, the bus drivers, the other kids driving to school, for God to shine in him and through him. No way! Each day, we pray with him and for him. Every day of every school year since preschool. The world's tough enough without the full armor of God!

Ellie's first day of FIRST GRADE!
She's wearing the outfit she picked out....
And doesn't leave for school till after the sun wakes up!

Sweet Ellie headed off to first grade, covered with the same prayer. She loves praying for her school, her teachers and her classmates. I love to listen as she asks Jesus to help her remember her "STAR" rules and not make other kids get in trouble. She's getting it... she's a little light in her big class! And she knows that Jesus wants to help her through each day! Training her up... one little step at a time!

Ben and I were busy all day -- enjoying the start of our last homeschooled year together. He officially starts his year Monday. We shopped for and cooked a tremendously awesome dinner to celebrate this monumental day.

Oreo ice cream pie. YUM! 

I battle the feelings inside -- joy for the new year, especially for Ellie. Sadness that this time next year Nathan won't be here. He'll be off to college, embarking on his own adult journey. I pray the lessons we've taught have sunk in well. I pray he is prepared for the future -- to make wise decisions and shine God's light wherever he goes. And I'm thankful -- time with him is not quite over... YET.

I love you, my three sweet kids.

May you always follow God and live for Him!
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Happy Fourth of July!!!

This holiday weekend, we celebrate our 235th birthday as a nation. WOW!!! That's a lot of candles!

We'll celebrate with parades.

photo © 2008 Michael Witzel | more info (via: Wylio)

Cookouts.

photo © 2007 Michael Lehet | more info (via: Wylio)

Fireworks.

photo © 2008 Jeff Golden | more info (via: Wylio)

How about we take some time this year and spend it thanking God?

For freedom. For those who protect our freedom.
For those who have sacrificed it all...

For freedom.

photo © 2011 DVIDSHUB | more info (via: Wylio)

God bless the USA!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E

Praying for a Military Hero

Dear friends,
Please join me today in praying for the family of Mark Bradley, a fallen soldier whose funeral is today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_4TRFGppjU&feature=share

Father God,

Please be with Samantha, Mark's wife, and all of Mark's family and friends as they say "good-bye." Please fill them with your peace. May Your Comfort fill the empty places in their hearts. God, help them to know that their sacrifice -- Mark's and theirs -- is appreciated. We will not forget their sacrifice for our freedom.

In your Son's name,

Amen

Psalm 37:3

Trust in the LORD and do good. 
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.

Psalm 37:3

As I prepare to attend my first She Speaks conference, I wonder if I'm finally on my way to my destiny? My heart longs to share God's truth with other women. I hope and pray God will use my life experience to encourage others. You can overcome depression. You can break the chains. You can become more than you ever thought you would be... Just trust in Him. Let go of you. Take the plunge.

I'm 45 and still trying to figure it out. It's not always easy to wait. Or wonder.

My son is seventeen. One short year from now, he'll be packing bags and boxes, preparing for that big step into college. He shares my questions. What's the plan, Mom? Do you think I'd do well with this? What did you think I would become (when I was seven)? Does it help to hear that I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up? There's just so much to choose -- so many things to do.

My prayer today, Nathan, is that you will trust God in the journey. Whether you choose one career like Daddy or my more circuitous path, I pray you will simply TRUST. Take the next step confidently. Don't look too far down the road. And while you're trusting, do good. Make a difference. Encourage others. Share your love of God. Rejoice in the journey. Let God lead you wherever He wants you to go and know. This is God's plan for you. In His Name I pray. Amen

Prayer, Accountability, Answers

Ben at Raven Rock Park earlier this spring

Home schoolers in North Carolina are required to take a standardized end-of-year test to monitor academic achievement. Usually, Ben gets anxious about this test. Most years when the scores come back, he cries in frustration. Not that we push him for certain scores. Never. Rather, we would do everything we could to minimize the significance of the tests.

But, he knew. He knew the reading would be hard. He knew he'd run out of time before completing a section. He knew his spelling and language scores would be nowhere close to his real grade. Spelling is always the worst. Last year, in seventh grade, his spelling scores were about the same as a first grader's. Yep. That's demoralizing. Especially for a kid whose math, science, history and geography scores are always above grade-level.

This year, we worked a little more intentionally on spelling. Still, it wasn't the focus of his education. If we wait for spelling to catch up, his progress in other areas would certainly suffer.

Testing day came, and for the first time, he was relaxed. No stress. No worry.  And this past Friday, the scores arrived in the mail. With great anticipation, we tore open the envelope. I unfolded the score sheet and looked for the one score that always frustrates him.

And there it was: FIFTH GRADE!!! He scored in the 20th percentile of his grade level peers. A huge jump! You'd think he'd won a gold medal in the olympics. High fives. Woops and hollers. A fist pump in the air. And a smile. A wide, radiant, sparkling smile. Ben conquered his nemesis (not that he can spell nemesis... yet).

What changed? In part, Ben is growing up and gaining confidence. He's reading more fluently. But...

The biggest change was prayer. This whole year, the women in my connect group (what we call our Bible study groups at our church) prayed. They prayed faithfully, week after week, month after month, for Ben. For his understanding to increase. For the "wires" in his brain to connect. For the intelligence we know is in there to finally show on the outside. They prayed for confidence, excitement for learning, and self-acceptance. They prayed for me, to teach wisely -- the way God needed me to. They prayed for his testing. And on testing day. They prayed. With us and for us.

We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, 

help the weak, be patient with everyone. See that no one repays evil for evil, 

but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. 

Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; 

for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:14-18

God answered. He helped me become the home schooling mom Ben needed. And He helped Ben grow in confidence and understanding. Thank you, dear ladies, for blessing us with your faithful prayers, living out 1 Thessalonians. Thank you, God, for answering our prayers.

Mexico Update -- Please Pray!!!

My dad recently returned from his first international missions trip to Mexico. I'm so proud of him! Praise God for allowing him the opportunity to serve and minister to some of the world's most troubled people.


My dad made it home, safe and sound. He got home a little more than a week ago, flying in on Saturday, the day of the North Carolina tornadoes. When I finally got to talk to him, he excitedly shared the fun details of his flights around the storms. So different from the quiet man I remember growing up. I'm just glad he made it home, safe and in good spirits!

They ministered in two areas. In Los Nogales the church is alive and thriving. He shared the passion the people have and how families attend church services and activities together. He described it as vibrant. Listening to him, I couldn't help get excited for God's work being done in that city.

In stark contrast, he shared that the people of Juarez, Mexico -- just across the border from El Paso, Texas -- are suffering. I researched Juarez online. It's called the murder capital of the world. OF THE WORLD! It's not that far away. Mexico. More dangerous than Iraq. Or Libya. Really?

Many of the men are involved in the drug trade. Moms are raising a generation of children without fathers. He shared that one lady is boldly leading Bible studies in her home while her husband is in prison for his involvement in drug trafficking. Other women are developing Christian programs for the children, hoping to give kids hope and a choice for a better future. These ladies want to offer their children, especially their sons, a choice to live for something worthwhile. They're standing up against the drug trade. I struggle to comprehend all this is going on "next door."

Will you join me today in prayer for this troubled region? Will you keep these brave women who are trusting God to change their families' futures in your prayers. With God, all things are possible.

Thank you.

Rebekah's Mistake

I've been wrestling with this post for a while. 

Once I put thoughts to paper, I can't pretend I don't know.

Genesis 27 tells us the story of Jacob's blessing. His father, Isaac, lie sick on his deathbed, ready to pass on the blessing to his first-born. He called to his older son, Esau, and asked him to prepare a special meal before doing so. Esau went off to hunt.

Rebekah, who is Isaac's wife, overheard the conversation and didn't like it at all. She wanted that blessing to be given to her younger son, Jacob. She called Jacob to her, instructed him to retrieve a goat that she would prepare for Isaac so that Jacob could present it and get his brother's blessing. 

Rebekah was quite the schemer. She even developed a plan to disguise Jacob as his brother, "and put the skins of the kids of the goats on his hands and neck." (Gen. 27:16) Despite raising several concerns about her plan, Jacob ultimately obeyed his mother and stole his brother's blessing.

What a horrible story to include in the Bible! Lying, deceit, trickery. The story reminds me of a soap opera plot, not the stuff of real life.

And then...

God whispers. He always catches me off guard when I find myself thinking, "Glad that's not me."

I realize this IS me.

When I become a "stage mom," pushing my kids one direction or another, trying to get them to do what I want rather than allowing them to be who they are. Nit-picking at Nathan before he sits at the piano -- what good does that do? Either he knows how to perform or it's too late. Or asking my kids, are you sure that you want to play with him -- what about so-and-so instead? I could go on, but really.... do you need to hear a litany of my mistakes?

Back to Rebekah: Her story ends tragically. Esau overheard Isaac blessing Jacob. He begged Isaac for his own blessing, which Isaac could not do. Esau, understandably angry, threatened Jacob's life. Rebekah overheard that and sent Jacob away. Rebekah died, years later, never to see her beloved Jacob again. (Yep, the soap opera continues.)

She paid such a terrible price, losing the one thing she loved most: Jacob. She pushed him, despite his objections. Out of love, he obeyed. But then, he was gone.

If I push too much, will I pay the same price? I don't know. AND I don't want to know.

Rebekah was imperfect. Her motives weren't always pure. Yet God used her -- and He used Jacob to do great things. That's His love. His mercy. The hope at the end of the story.

I pray that God will help me direct my kids when they need it. I ask that He help me guide and motivate, but please don't let me manipulate. When I do mess up, I know I will, cover my mistakes with Your Grace. Help me learn. Grow. Become the mom you want me to be.

Prayers for Storm Victims

This is a photo of damage in Kenly, a small town to our east here in Johnston County.

Friends,
We live near Raleigh, NC. Yesterday, we watched news coverage, amazed as the storms swept through to our west and then to our east. Our little patch in between got some wind and rain and nothing more. I wonder if that's somewhat how the Israelites' felt when God parted the Jordan to lead them to safety. I am grateful for His protection.

Hundreds around us lost their homes. At least ten people in our region died -- and some little kids are still unaccounted for. Please pray for the families who lost everything (from Oklahoma to Alabama to NC and beyond). May this be a time that God's love is revealed to those who don't know him as we support one another. Pray for peace and comfort for those who must piece their lives back together. Pray for the workers, the first responders who must deal with death and the relief workers who will clean up. Pray, too, for the power company as they restore power to thousands in the coming days.

Thank you,
Karen

A Bowl of Soup

Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country,

famished. He said to Jacob, "Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I'm famished!"... Jacob replied, "First sell me your birthright."

"Look, I am about to die," Esau said. "What good is a birthright to me?" But Jacob said, "Swear to me first." So he swore an oath to him, 
selling his birthright to Jacob.

Genesis 25:29-33

I read this passage recently and it won't let me go. Jacob, opportunistic, steals his brother's birthright. How could one brother do that to another? Horrible. Weak, spiritually and/or physically, Esau caves in. He eats the stew and regrets the decision the rest of his life. Genesis 25:34 says, "So Esau despised his birthright."

I can't imagine loving my brothers so little -- taking from them what is rightfully theirs. It would be like walking into my brother's home and taking his kids as my own. Or selling his wife. Unimaginable! 

But it's Esau's choice that really haunts me. He sold his birthright -- a double portion of his father's inheritance and the role of patriarch of the family. Remember, his daddy was Isaac, the firstborn son of Abraham. He had land, lots of land. Livestock. Camels. Concubines. Servants. Wealth. Esau was the firstborn son of the firstborn son. He would have become patriarch of the entire clan. He would have become the great-great-great-great (X24 or more) grandfather of Jesus. 

He gave it all away. For a bowl of soup.

Like Esau, God has a birthright for each of us. He created our inmost being, fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:13-14). He has a plan for our lives, a plan to give us hope and a future. (Jer. 29:11). Yet, we, like Esau, give up that plan for nothing more than a bowl of soup.

God blesses us with academic skill. Instead of applying ourselves, we settle for "good enough."

God blesses us with physical talent. We give it up for a twinkie.

God blesses us with His Word. We give it up -- never opening the Bible to read.

God blesses us with a wonderful marriage. We give it up, investing instead in television, the golf course, hanging out with friends after work, pornography, selfish anger or facebook.

God blesses us financially. We decide it's not enough. We give up God's blessing and reach for our own, ultimately drowning in debt. For what? A few extra pieces of clothes in the closet. Dinner out because we just don't want to cook. A brand new car to keep up appearances.

Every day, we make choices like Esau. We choose here and now. Never giving the future a chance.

We have another choice. We can choose to seek God's will for our life. 

Paul wrote, "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified." (1 Cor. 9:24-27)

Instead of giving in to the here and now, we can keep our eyes focused on God. The plan He has for us. The life He desires for us. He has given us a wonderful birthright. He gave us Jesus. 

Isn't life in Christ worth more than a bowl of soup?

Change of Spirit

The only way to defeat a spirit is with the opposite spirit. Love defeats hate. Praise defeats negativity. Generosity defeats greed. Try it. Pastor Jimmy Evans

I might add the only way to defeat hurt is to forgive.

I know. I'm struggling to forgive right now. I don't want to forgive. I want revenge. I want to hurt the ones who hurt me. I want to lash out. Prove my point. Take a stand for justice. I want to force them to look at their actions from my point of view and admit their mistakes.

I also know that revenge, lashing out, and taking a stand rarely lead to my desired result. Such action usually leads to more hurt. Bigger problems. Deeper wounds.

Luke 6:31 says, "Do to others as you would have them do to you." What if it was me? What if I had been the one to do the hurting? Would I want my face shoved in it? No. Would I want to be humiliated? No. Would I want a tongue lashing or a lecture? No.

Would any of that change me? Sadly, no. I'd become more defensive. I'd reject me. I'd judge me a lunatic and disregard anything that ever came from my mouth again. I'd lose my integrity with me. I'd never want to talk to me again.

Jesus tells us when we are hurt to forgive, seven times seventy, forgive. (Matt. 18:22). I know Jesus' way is right. I know I've forgiven deep hurts in the past. I know that such forgiveness leads to deep peace, wholeness, oneness with God. Yet... today... I'm not quite there.

Dear God,
I look in the mirror, and I see my pain. My hurt. My unforgiveness. I know You want me to forgive. I know You are in control of even this. Please help me get there. Thank You for putting Pastor Jimmy's words before me this morning. Thank you for Matthew 18:22. Thank You for sending Jesus to die for my sins, even the sin of unforgiveness. You have wrapped me in Your truth. Help me take that step to say, "I forgive." Help me let it go and move on. Help me focus on you and not on me. Help me remember how much greater your sacrifice was than my problem is. I know that with you by my side, I will forgive. Please help me do it today and not hold a grudge.
In Jesus' precious name I pray,
Amen

Locked out!

photo © 2010 Alex Murphy | more info (via: Wylio)
Good Tuesday morning, everyone. I took the dog outside this morning, pulling the door shut behind me. Yep! Locked myself out of the house! No big deal. I still had two kids inside.

Except...

They were asleep in their beds. Upstairs. I was on the back porch. In my jammies. Barefoot. I pounded on the back door, hoping someone would hear me before I had to suffer the embarrassment of running to the front porch in my jammies.

Pound. Pound. Pound.

Then, grumpy but loud, I heard, "I'm coming. Stop it."

Yay! I got in! The first thing I did (Ben was already headed back to bed), was update my facebook status. (I'm so technologically gifted). That led to checking email...

My inbox contained an email from an "atheist friend of mine." Somehow, he discovered my blog. He regularly responds to my Bible-quoting posts. He doesn't agree with my theology. I read his email and my heart grew heavy. He doesn't see the hope, the love or the power of God in scripture. He sees hurt, pain, evil, and darkness.

I was locked out of my house. He is locked out of the joy of life in Christ. It breaks my heart.

1 Corinthians 2:12-14 says:

What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom, but in words taught by the Sprit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.

We cannot understand the Word of God without the Spirit of God dwelling in us. Understanding His Word begins when we accept, by faith, that Jesus is His One and Only Son, sent to earth to live as a man and die as a man, though sinless, on our behalf. He did this, not for Himself, but for us, who sin, so that we may live forever in Heaven with Him.

I can't debate scripture with my friend. Until he -- or any non-believer -- chooses to take that important step of faith into the unknowable, he will never understand the deeper meaning of God's Word. I pray that one day, my friend will take that step and discover the wonder and joy of life in Christ.

Dear God,
I pray that those who read this post will know your hope, joy and peace, which comes from the Holy Spirit. I pray that unbelievers will answer your call as you "stand at the door and knock." May they unlock their hearts and let You in. In Jesus' name,
Amen

Protecting my kids from the big, bad world

Bloggy friends,
Do you sometimes find yourself trying to protect your kids from the bad things out there? I do. When the neighborhood kids play and it turns into a brawl (a typical boy thing, for sure), I want to don my red cape and run outside to swoop up my kids and return them to the safety of our home. When my youngest is taken advantage of by the older kids (a big issue during the silly bands era), I want to throttle a few older kids for being so predatory! (Don't worry, neighbors, I know it's just a kid thing...)

Do your kids ask to take dance, art, and/or music classes? Do they ask to play soccer, football, and baseball? Do you wonder how you'll ever survive their schedules? Especially when you have work, grocery shopping, bill paying and house cleaning to do, too? Really, that mini-van or XUV needs that TAXI sign on top!

The 21st century offers kids more opportunities to do. Of course, all that doing can lead to some tough "mama bear" moments -- what do you mean she didn't make the lead in the musical? But she has studied voice since she was four. She's the most talented kid in the whole school. Arrrrgggghhhh.

Is this the kind of hurt and stress God wants us to carry, though? Is this really His plan for parenting?

Of course, you know I'm about to say I don't think so.

Looking back - way back - to around 2050 B.C. (that's about 4160 years ago), Abraham faced a huge parenting dilemma with his son, Isaac. It wasn't that Abraham was trying to protect Isaac from neighborhood bullies. He wasn't juggling Isaac's crazy after-school schedule around his own job of leading the Hebrew nation.

God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Yep. (If you're not familiar with their story, you can read it here.) God asked him to sacrifice his one and only son. The child he wanted for close to 100 years. The child he thought he and Sarah could never have. God gave Isaac to Abraham and Sarah, then told them to give him up. That's a bit tougher than juggling schedules. In the end, of course, God sends a ram to take Isaac's place. Abraham, though willing, never had to do the unthinkable.

What does this story have to do with us today?

I'm not a Bible expert. I'm just a lady who reads her Bible, asking God to reveal His truth. When I read this familiar scene again this morning, I sensed God saying, "You'll never love your kids as much as I do." But I know that, God. But, do I, really?

When my kids ask to join this, that or the other, do I try to figure out how to fit it in? Often. Do I pray first, asking God if it should be fit in? Not so often.

When my kids' feelings get hurt by other kids, do I assume that the other kids did something wrong? Usually. Am I right? Not all the time. Do I ask God for wisdom in the situation to help my kids grow in love, compassion or kindness? Not very often.

When my sons forget to text me that they arrived somewhere safely or I can't get them by phone, does my mind jump to horrors unspeakable? More than I want to admit. Do I pray for peace when my mind starts to wander and protection for my kids if they need it? Rarely. More often I wonder whether I should call their friends' parents yet or wait a few minutes before calling 9-1-1.

Abraham didn't share my struggles. God said, take your son up on that mountain and sacrifice him. Abraham packed. Abraham went. Abraham, no doubt trembling with love for his son, did as God asked. Why?

Abraham loved God first. Abraham trusted God with his son's life. He trusted God with his own life too. (Seriously, how could he have endured the pain of sacrificing Isaac? or Sarah's pain when he came home without Isaac?) Abraham didn't get everything right in his life, but when it came to raising Isaac, he understood, God loved his son more than Abraham ever could.

I'm learning to pray for my kids in a deeper way. I pray that they'll find comfort in God no matter what happens in their day. I pray that God will watch over them. I ask God to remove my fears. And when there are so many good things out there to do, our whole family is learning to ask God which fit his plans. And which do not.

God loves my kids more than I ever can. I'm learning to trust Him with the details of their lives. Sometimes, at least.

Truth or Consequences

Friends, I'm dating myself today. When I was a little girl, our family watched Truth or Consequences every night. I remember it airing at 7:30, just before I headed off to bed. We loved the wacky stunts. We tried, oh so hard, to guess the right answer to the trivia questions. Fun times!

In real life, truth or consequences is not so fun. When one of my kids (who shall remain anonymous) came home from school yesterday, s/he reported that it was a great day. S/he further reported that s/he did not get a "skittle" today, because s/he is "fasting treats." Usually, a skittle is the day end reward for making good choices. Kids will do a lot for one little skittle!

Getting this one ready for the bus this morning, I pulled out his/her daily folder to sign off as I do every day. Usually, I do that right after school, but we had piano lessons and church yesterday, so it didn't get done until this morning. Sadly, the folder included a note that this one pulled a star for talking in class, a definite respect rule violation! Truth exposed. Ouch.

My child, chagrined, got coat, shoes and backpack ready. We stood together to pray for the day, just as we always do. This time, my child prayed with a crushed heart. Limp. So sad.

Before we began, I offered God a silent prayer, "Lord, let my prayer build my child up. Help me prepare my child to live for You."

We took each others hands and I began. I prayed a fairly typical school-day prayer, asking for God's kindness and love to shine through, asking for wisdom and learning, and thanking Him for all the wonderful blessings in my child's life, from bus drivers to teachers to fellow students. And then, gently, I said, "It's time for you to ask God to forgive you."

Huge eyes, filled with tears, looked into mine. "You can do it." (Oh, child, admitting our mistakes is so hard.... please learn this today.)

"Dear Jesus, I am sorry I talked in class. I am sorry I lied to my mom." Those eyes looked up again.

"You need to ask forgiveness. Jesus always forgives."

Head drops. Shoulders heave. Tears fall. "Please forgive me."

Perhaps the hardest words ever to say, to Jesus or to anyone.

With a hug and a word of encouragement,  I sent my child out the door. "Dear Jesus, Please let this moment sink in. Help my child learn that the truth is always better than the consequences. Bless my child with a wonderful day. Fill my child with Your love, so much greater than mine."

Amen