Hold my tongue!

Today's verse is James 3:7-8, "All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by human beings, but no one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."

It came to me by text, as it does every day.

Ironically, I am festering with anger today. Unexpected, unpleasant news came our way and I. AM. MAD! Take a distrustful mama bear, envelope her in a swarm of angry hornets, and toss her in a mud pit... I'm that mad!

Ding! The text arrives... God gently -- fairly directly -- reminding me that what I do in this moment matters.  Will I respond to the situation in anger -- I sure do want to let my lawyer-side do the talking. OR, will I address this news in love.

Stay tuned... I'll let you know how I did.

In the meantime, pray for a quiet tongue! I'd even accept the gift of laryngitis about now!

Thanks friends,

Cheap textbooks..... well, cheaper anyway.

Hello friends,

This is a practical post for college students and the parents who pay for it... If your kids are in high school, consider bookmarking this page or pinning it to your pinterest college board for quick access later!

Most universities make schedules and book requirements available online a month or two before classes start. While I really don't want to think ahead all that far, the practical side of me wants to save a few dollars wherever we can. Using the tips and resources below, we saved 25.66% on Nathan's books for fall semester. It's easy!

Here's how to do it:

1.  Look up courses and book requirements at the school website (through the student portal).
2. Record title, ISBN numbers (copy and paste to a document if you can) and school bookstore prices. We recorded prices of used/new books.
3. Use the same information (essentially the ISBN number) to search prices on other websites:
• Amazon
• Textbooks.com
• Chegg.com
4. At each site, make sure you know the condition of the book -- especially workbooks and books that include CDs -- as well as tax and shipping costs. 
5. Record the prices by site and make your purchases.
6. In a separate mailbox or file on your email, create a folder to save receipts.

Here's how it worked for us.

1. Nathan needs a total of six textbooks. At the school bookstore the used book cost was $318.70 and the new book cost was $424.80 (OUCH!)
2. We found three used books at textbooks.com for $123.83, free shipping.
3. We found a new workbook and another used textbook at Amazon for $64.64, free shipping.
4. Our total cost for five books was $188.47.
5. One book was not available at any site (new edition for 2012), so we will purchase it through the school for $89. Our grand total is $277.47, a 13% savings over all used prices and a 35% savings over new prices. Since we purchased some used and some new books, the total savings worked out to about 25%.

Some helpful tips.

1. If purchasing books to use over multiple semesters, consider buying new or "like new" used books so that it lasts as long as you need it.
2. If purchasing workbooks, consider buying new (we bought one). Is it really a time-saver or a benefit to use a workbook someone else already used? Figure out the answers yourself, using a new book.
3. Make sure books include everything they would if new, including CDs and pullout maps. You might need them!

College is expensive, but with a just a little time invested, you can rein in costs. Our two hour investment saved over $100, well worth the time.

Hope that helps.

Karen

My heart...

I've been mom for 18 years. I'm learning to let go, here at the far end of the mommyhood journey. I know I'll always be "Mom," but "mama" and all the associated needs, wants, demands, and daily interaction that go with it are about to end. It's transition time...

Last night, he asked, "Will we still see each other a lot when I'm an adult?" I love that he thinks about such things.

We talked some. I told him my Norman Rockwellian dreams of generations sleeping under the same roof, waking on Christmas morning to eat breakfast, open gifts, play together, laugh and sing. I teared up as I shared. He smiled.

I asked if it's too much to ask.

He said, "No. I'd really like that too." Really? Yes, he assured me, REALLY!

I'm so thankful for 18 years to love him every day. Face to face, I mean. I know the future means less...

Oh, my heart.... such joy, excitement, anticipation and pride. I know he's ready for the next step.

Oh my heart.... the hole is coming. I feel it already. I just pray that it doesn't hurt too much.

Predestination or Free Will

He flopped down on the couch across the room, propping his feet on the coffee table and asked, non-chalantly, "Mom, do you believe in predestination or free will?

There I was, working on a travel blog post when his question crashed over my head. Ohhh, God, I don't know this answer to this one. I prayed quietly for instant wisdom on the question of the ages, "Which is it: predestination or free will?" And then I bought myself some time.

"What do you think?" I asked, interested.

He shared some thoughts. I listened. I kept praying. I shared

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king's horses and all the king's men

Couldn't put Humpty together again.

What if Humpty Dumpty had asked the KING instead?

Thank you, Pastor Clay NeSmith of Barefoot Church

in North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina,

for sharing this profound thought with us last weekend.

Who do you trust? God's power or man's?

Happy Birthday, America!

If you love something

If you love something, set it free. 

If it comes back to you, it's yours. 

If it doesn't, it was never meant to be.

In high school or college, maybe that was true when it came to boys. You know, smother him and he will run. Give him space to be a guy and maybe... or maybe not...

With our kids, it's much the same. Except maybe I'd rewrite it:

If you love something, set it free.

Gradually, over time, with maturity.

Otherwise, you'll smother it to death!

And it will resent you and never come back.

Mine's not nearly as poetic, but it is true.

The trouble with kids is you give them space to grow and sometimes they blow it. Grrrrrrr.... We're supposed to give him (or her) wings to fly -- but he crashed and burned. Now what? That's the tough stuff, the in between stuff, the messy stuff that makes parenting the worst job ever. 

But it's exactly what the job is about. When it gets messy, we don't clip their wings to ground them, though, honestly it's what we might want to do. When they blow it, as they often will, we get the opportunity to parent again. Only now, with big kids, we step in next to them and offer a hand. 

We help them stand back up. We encourage as they brush off the messy stuff. We listen. Listen a lot!

Then, we hold our breath -- or bite our tongue if that's what it takes. We clamp our hands firmly behind our backs. And we watch.

As they clean up the messy stuff. The stuff they look too little for. But yet, as they grow, they are ready. They can clean up the mess.

If you love something, set it free. It's not easy. But it's necessary.