Movin' on up!

"Movin' on UP" might be a stretch. No dorm room is ever as cozy as HOME! Nathan traded in his queen size bed for the traditional, lumpy dorm twin XL. He traded a fully equipped kitchen, open 24/7 for meals in the "caf."

"UP" is his first step toward independence. He decides if he gets up with the alarm or sleeps through class (Nathan, if you're reading this... GO TO CLASS!). He decides when -- or if -- to change the sheets on the bed, to toss the laundry in the hamper or on the floor, or to scrub the toilet. I have no say. He's moved on toward independence.

Before he moved "UP," he allowed us to help him unpack his stuff. Here's a peak into Nathan's new digs. Enjoy!

All loaded up and ready to go.

Can't believe it all fit -- and five people too!

Good thing I'm an expert traveler/packer.

Change affects everyone!

Hey my bloggy friends,

I'm sure you've clued in to the fact that I'm suffering through sending our first "off to college." I tell myself it's so hard because he will be nine hours away from home, but the truth is, it will be hard because I love having him around.

Trying to fall asleep last night, and failing again, my mind raced through memories.

• Nathan at eight months, propped up on the pillows in our bed between us, everyone reading a book,
• Nathan at eighteen months, wanting desperately to be close to us at bedtime and sleeping behind his bedroom door (imagine getting in without hurting him),
• Nathan at two years, falling out of his toddler bed, rolling underneath it, sleeping through it all until he tried to sit up and couldn't. WAIL!
• Nathan's third birthday at the zoo,
• Nathan crying the day after he got his tonsils out because he couldn't go to school (and his teacher kindly stopping by to bring him a book to read while he recovered),
• Nathan conning Ben into doing their chores by playing "Pokemon trainer" -- he'd train and Ben would be the faithful, hardworking Pokemon,
• Nathan telling us he had prayed for us to have a desire to adopt a baby (thus the sudden and unexpected road to Ellie),
• Nathan marching in the Macy's parade,
• Nathan with strep, mono, pneumonia and a 104.9 degree fever all at the same time,
• Nathan teaching kids at summer church camp,
• Nathan sitting on the front row at graduation, no longer a little boy, but a young man.
• And more....

Tick! Tock! Clock

Oh my dear friends,

I haven't fallen off the planet. PROMISE! I am, however, a little busy at home. Our firstborn leaves for college Thursday... and we're getting ready.

Nathan meets Ellie for the first time.

His stuff is all packed. He is most definitely ready -- he even read ahead for one of his classes (maybe he learned a lesson or two in high school?)

Nathan and Ben hamming it up together on vacation.

He's so kind, though, concealing his anticipatory glee when I get sad. Not talking too much about next week. Taking time one on one with his siblings.

Even when I asked what he wants for dinner these last three nights, he's considerate. I know his favorites: tamale casserole (all the flavor of a tamale without the frustrating prep), chicken-sausage gumbo, and Greek. But he's staying true to himself, "...if you have time, Mom."

And now, hamming it up with his roommate to be.

Time? I thought I had all the time in the world. Wrong. He grew up. And I will miss him.

Love,

My heart...

I've been mom for 18 years. I'm learning to let go, here at the far end of the mommyhood journey. I know I'll always be "Mom," but "mama" and all the associated needs, wants, demands, and daily interaction that go with it are about to end. It's transition time...

Last night, he asked, "Will we still see each other a lot when I'm an adult?" I love that he thinks about such things.

We talked some. I told him my Norman Rockwellian dreams of generations sleeping under the same roof, waking on Christmas morning to eat breakfast, open gifts, play together, laugh and sing. I teared up as I shared. He smiled.

I asked if it's too much to ask.

He said, "No. I'd really like that too." Really? Yes, he assured me, REALLY!

I'm so thankful for 18 years to love him every day. Face to face, I mean. I know the future means less...

Oh, my heart.... such joy, excitement, anticipation and pride. I know he's ready for the next step.

Oh my heart.... the hole is coming. I feel it already. I just pray that it doesn't hurt too much.

Predestination or Free Will

He flopped down on the couch across the room, propping his feet on the coffee table and asked, non-chalantly, "Mom, do you believe in predestination or free will?

There I was, working on a travel blog post when his question crashed over my head. Ohhh, God, I don't know this answer to this one. I prayed quietly for instant wisdom on the question of the ages, "Which is it: predestination or free will?" And then I bought myself some time.

"What do you think?" I asked, interested.

He shared some thoughts. I listened. I kept praying. I shared

The Rudiments

Sounds great!

Getting a head start on college, Nathan spends 30 minutes each morning practicing the rudiments, scales: major, minor and harmonic. His fingers race up and down the keyboard, faster. Faster. Once in a while he fumbles a transition and starts over. Slowly. Then he builds up the speed again.

Boring! Very, very, very boring!

And then... he plays one of the masters: Beethoven, Rachmaninoff, Bach, Chopin. He hits that place in the music that runs up and down the keyboard, fast, much like the scales.

In context, so beautiful. Hardly boring!

Nathan understands (now... not so much when he was twelve) that those scales prepare his fingers to recognize musical patterns that appear in every major work. He knows that the discipline of the rudiments make him a better pianist. He realizes that the scales prepare him to learn complex pieces more easily.

Today, I ponder whether I am as disciplined in the areas of my life that matter? My faith? Prayer life? Dedication to my husband and children?

As the heat rolls in across sunny North Carolina, I will be sipping tea, reading the Bible and listening to my Creator -- it's time for me to develop self-discipline in the rudiments of faith.

Care to join me?

Love,

College Orientation... where did the time go?

So, number one and I are in Birmingham again. This time it's orientation. YIKES! Soon my son will live here -- and I'll be there.

So far, I've been excited about the whole thing. But, like he texted to me the other day, "This whole orientation thing just hit me." It's hitting me too.

Our road trips these past few years have been so fun. But soon, he won't be road tripping with me. His weekends will be filled with new friends and homework and frisbee. But not me.

The next time we come here, I'll leave him behind. To fend for himself. Alone. I know he's ready.

The question is, "Am I?"

T is for Tigger, T I Double Guh Er

He graduates this Friday,

our first-born son...

the one who broke us gently in

to our role as parents.

He's crammed a lot of life

into his first 18 years.

Such sweet memories as we look back.

Remembering.

Perhaps our favorite...

the Tigger days!

When every load of wash

included his favorite outfit

to wear again and again and again.

Usually three times a week.

Suitable for playing in the sand

(or the volleyball pit)

Rockin' a little 

Blues Brothers with Dad

Or taking a nap!

Our little Tigger

sure is a wonderful thing!

He's bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy...

Fun, fun, fun, fun fun!

And soon,

he will leave for college.

But it won't be good-bye...

We'll simply say,

"Ta Ta for now!"

Special thanks to my dear friend, Barb, for the memory quilt. 
And for the unexpected treasure of the T.T.F.N. pillow for mom.
You captured a lifetime in one simple act.
Thank you.