Special blog posts about special kids

This week, I am honored to be sharing two posts over at Encouragement Cafe with Luann and Friends. Please stop by. I hope it's a blessing to you!

Jesus Loves the Little Children

and

Shattered Dreams and New Hope.

God bless!

This is NOT spam

SPAM! It literally gives me the chills, receiving an email that starts, "Dear Karen, I hope this finds you well. I am writing to tell you about..." You know the ones? They start out all personal and warm, and then ask for my bank routing number and other personal information so I can get in on the most amazing opportunity ever! CREEPY!!!

I got one today, so apparently my email spam filter is on vacation. Grrrr...

As I deleted this morning's offensive spam, I realized that my visceral reaction to spam mimics the internal response the Holy Spirit gives me when satan tries to SPAM my life.

Yep! Satan is spam! He starts out all personal and warm.... like with Eve in Genesis 3:1-6:

[Satan] said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. 

Crafty! He seems to ask, "Are you sure you heard God right?" And then... "If you eat that fruit you will become as wise as God." Ooooohhhhhh.... If I give Mr. Spammer my banking information, I'll become as rich as Bill Gates! Yeah, right!

You'd think I'd be smarter than Eve. After all, she didn't have the Bible to guide her, friends to encourage her or a pastor to preach truth each weekend. I'm not, though. I may not fall for the spammer's temptation. When that warning bell rings, loud and clear, I hit the delete button fast! An automatic response that requires almost no thought from me.

BUT... when Satan attempts to SPAM MY LIFE, my response is hardly as swift or sure. Throughout the day, instead of being thankful for the family God has chosen to give me, I complain, ".... lazy." "Did he really forget to ____________ again? (insert sarcastic tone as well)." "Why does no one around here appreciate me?" You know... little ingratitudes that pile up all day long. Finally, we sit down to dinner and I yip and snap at everyone for minor annoyances that hardly warrant my reaction. Satan spammed my day. Worse, I let him do it. YUCK!

How does Satan spam your life? More importantly, what are you going to do about it -- let him keep stealing your joy or learn to listen to the warning bells and make some changes?

How about we all commit to installing some anti-spam software in our hearts? Come back Friday for a list of verses to get us started!

Lots of love,

Real life

The internet is a strange "friend." Some of us are consumed by social networks, speaking to others only through facebook, twitter and blogs. Others have forgotten that these "virtual worlds" only provide snippets of reality. Surfing longingly through beautiful homes, fashion pins and hairstyles on pinterest, our own homes are neglected. The reality is nobody lives in a pinterest house!

Others have lost their jobs and families because their "need" for internet gaming consumes their every waking hour. Teens use these social sites to bully others -- as if the face to face bullying in schools isn't enough. Some die from the effects of bullying or because their virtual self died. The internet is impersonal, cold, and untrue.

Yet...

Real life family!

I recently sent an email to the adoption agency we used to bring Ellie home, offering to write a post for them about the attachment and adjustment issues we faced after she came home. They asked to post that email, as is, on their blog and I consented. I expected nothing.

Within days, people responded. Other parents, whose kids weren't easily adjusting to life in a forever family, poured out their hearts, their hurts and their frustrations. My heart ached. Our hurts, dulled by the passage of time, remembered once again as I read their stories. The sadness. The disappointment, not in the kids but in the shattered dreams. The fears, will she ever function in this world or is she trapped inside the hurt forever.

I didn't expect anyone to respond to that post. 

Years ago, when we were going through the pain, I didn't expect it ever to help anyone else.

But God knew. He knew the challenges Ellie would have. He knew the war for her heart and mind that we would fight. He knew the joy of the outcome... and He knew that our hurt, anger and disappointment would one day be used for good. He knew that our journey would become the light in someone else's dark tunnel. He knew!

The internet is not real life! Facebook is not real. Blogs are not "real." But God... sometimes uses them to connect people who would never "meet" otherwise. God used the internet to take our journey to the Pacific Northwest and New York, places I've never been. 


The internet is not real life... but when we, the authors of the internet, write real material from our hearts, God does use it for good, to promote fellowship and remind others of his faithfulness. 


Today, consider what you post in your blog, on facebook or even your pinterest. 


Is it real? 

Stretch those muscles

Since December I've been working out "semi-regularly" at the local gym. My sons have been coaching and encouraging me to push through, even on tough days. Traveling last week, the hotel "gyms" didn't offer the same machines I use. I was a fish out of water and, honestly, I gave up.

Monday, my younger son and I went back to our gym. Funny thing! Those machines welcomed me back warmly. Okay -- not so warmly. I went through my routine but quickly realized that just one week away left me a bit weaker than I had been before the trip. Sigh! All that hard work gone in a week. Really?

Not quite.

Sure, Monday was tough. The muscles groaned and complained. I couldn't lift, push, or pull as much as I had before the trip. But, I sure could do more than my very first trip to the gym. Honestly, I was able to do a lot more than I did the whole month of December. YAY!!! I slipped a bit, but I didn't fall back all the way.

Stretching our spiritual muscles is a lot like working out at the gym. If we don't attend church regularly, open the Bible at home, or pray, we won't grow spiritually. As Paul wrote in Hebrews, though we should be teachers, we need to be taught the elementary truths of God's word over and over again. We need milk, not solid food. (Hebrews 5:12)

Is that really what we want to be? Of course not.

To grow our spiritual muscles, we should be in church, read God's word -- prayerfully, asking Him to show us what we need to learn to grow, and pray. And those days when we just can't find the time -- or for some reason we just aren't comfortable? Don't give up.

Like my son pushed me back into the gym, get back to church. Dust off that Bible. Wear out those knees in prayer. Whatever it takes! You'll surprise yourself -- the lessons you learned will come back. Your spiritual muscles might hurt a bit, but not as much as you think.

Bottom line: Jesus loves you. Even if you haven't talked to him in years, He loves you!

Happy stretching!!!

In Your Freedom I Will Live...

I went to lunch with a friend yesterday -- such a treat! We got on the topic of God's will for our lives. Yes, heavy conversation for lunch. Today, I cherish the freedom of that lunch.

Here in the United States, we are free to discuss topics of faith (we didn't "talk religion," we shared our faith journeys). I know that such conversation is not permitted in my daughter's home country of China. I remember Easter Sunday there, many years ago, when I freely walked into an international church to worship my risen Savior while our chaperones, Chinese, could not. My U.S. passport was my ticket in. They didn't have one. Hundreds of others were there, from nations across the world. The joyous sound of Easter greetings in various accents, Jamaican, South African, Swedish, and more, was simply glorious.

Yet, I am certain that the lack of Chinese voices in that crowd must have broken God's heart. I could go on with this post to share the importance of international missions, but God showed me something else. More personal.

God doesn't just give us the freedom to worship Him because we live in the United States (or other free nations... right, my Aussie friends?). He gives us the freedom to worship Him because He is not a dictator God. He is a jealous God -- and it breaks His heart when we worship football, children, food, clothes or work more than Him -- but He never forces us to choose Him. Never. He waits. With infinite, Godly patience until we make that choice.

As I get older, I realize that I make two big decisions as a Christian. The first is salvation. You can read verses on salvation here if you aren't sure what I mean. The second, I think a lot of us miss this one, is what we do after we are saved.

It's our choice: accept the gift of salvation and move on with our regularly scheduled lives. The end. Some people do that -- they took the gift, maybe they got excited about it for a while, and then this life drew them back: football, kids, clothes and work. That gift sits on a shelf, unused.

At some point, though, some of us actually decide to apply the gift of salvation. We choose to grow up as Christians and seek God's will for our lives. We're not perfect -- only Jesus is perfect. But, God gives us the gift of the Holy Spirit's guidance at our salvation. Appreciating that gift, we learn to listen to the Spirit. Our hearts yearn for others to receive the gift of forgiveness and freedom that we treasure in our hearts.

Through my life, I have made many, many mistakes. Sometimes, I ignore the Holy Spirit's prompting -- blatantly choosing to give in to my emotions and feelings. Sometimes, perhaps because I haven't learned to listen to the quietest whisper yet, I don't hear the Spirit call. I blunder into bad choices that lead me to ask God to rescue me. Sometimes, the devil gets to me, tempting me when I'm weak. Ohhhhh how I regret those decisions. Sometimes, I do actually get it right. I hear God's call and follow His will. In those moments, I am blessed because I chose Him. And freely He gave.

May God's Holy Spirit fill in the gaps in this post so that it touches your heart with His Incredible Love,
In Christ,

Memorial Box Monday: The Job

Our almost-man heads off to college this fall. Mingled with the excitement that comes with acceptance letters is a healthy respect for the cost of college. We had a small college fund growing for him... right now, like the rest of the economy, it's struggling to get back to where it was a few years ago... so he wonders whether the scholarships will come.

Listening as he shared his concerns last week, God nudged my memory...

When I went to college, almost 30 years ago, college funds weren't the norm. A combination of student loans and part-time jobs paid the bill. Freshman year, I worked in "dorm security." There I was, all 96 pounds of me, working 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. as "security" for The Ohio State football team dorm. What??? Whose idea was it to put me there? Not mine, I assure you! (Thankfully, William White, a defensive back on the Buckeye team back in 1984 often sat in the lobby with me as my enforcer when the 300 lb. linemen tried to give me a hard time!)

Anyway, after doing that for a year, I knew it wasn't the way to survive college. I needed sleep, for one thing! Sophomore year, I applied to every campus job available. Rejection after rejection, I got upset. I knew I was a hard worker. I had good grades. I didn't understand why I was stuck in the stupid security job.

One rainy day (typical Ohio day), I went back to my dorm after another heartbreaking rejection with student health services. I stood in front of the mirror, hair drenched, mascara running down my cheeks and cried out to God. You know those moments when you just can't take it anymore and you cry out to God in desperation? Defeated. Empty. Nothing left of you. That's where I was.

Within moments, the phone rang. The lady from health services was on the line asking if I still wanted a job. Ummmm.... YES!!! She explained that I'd have to interview with the Department of Environmental Safety (responsible for OSHA compliance for chemicals, cleaning supplies, noise and more). She gave me directions and the contact person's name. I cleaned up and ran to the interview... and got the job.

What did God give me? A cushy office job with a "word processor" I could use during the secretary's lunch hour to write my papers (for you young readers, this was back in the day when a word processor took the space of an entire room). A group of caring people who "adopted" me into their families, offering me a place to stay when the dorms closed on long weekends. A caring environment that celebrated my birthday with catered lunch, cake and gifts. Mentors who helped me apply to law school and sorted through my options with me. Friends who took time off work to attend my graduation (Ohio State gives actual diplomas at the ceremony -- and somehow Dave, who was a Michigan graduate, put U of M stickers in my diploma... what a laugh!). God gave me more than a job. He gave me a haven of caring and love, more than a girl could ever hope for.

Decades later, after teaching college, being a criminal prosecutor with the satisfaction of taking bad guys off the streets, and other wonderful jobs, this "job" is still the best I ever had. It had nothing to do with the work, and everything to do with God making sure I was cared for. He knew what I needed in my young adult years. And He provided. Abundantly!

As my almost-man looks ahead, I pray he understands that he is never alone. I pray he discovers that God cares for him more than any one or any plan ever could. Of course, I pray for the desired scholarships, but I know that God will put him in the exact situations he needs to become the man God has always wanted him to be. I pray that my almost-man's faith grows with each step forward that he takes... with God.

For I know the plans I have for you, 

declares the Lord,

plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Memorial Box Monday was started by Linny at "A Place Called Simplicity." Please visit her blog to learn more -- and share your memories of God's goodness too!

Clean Slate!

As the new year presents itself, fresh, clean, unblemished, I find myself assessing my life. The 2012 calendar is brand new, full of promise. If only people could throw away last year and start over so easily.  Since I can't do that, I will start making a few changes to "clean up" my life. Not resolutions, mind you. Resolutions are made to be broken. And broken resolutions heap mess on us. Who needs more mess?

Instead, I'm implementing a few simple changes to get started right. Hopefully, some will become habits I maintain all year long. Feel free to join me!

First, I decluttered my email! Yep. We can opt out of junk mail in the old fashioned mailbox -- and we can opt out of junk mail in email too! This morning, I went through my email and "unsubscribed" from all the junk that has grown over the past year. Honestly, I don't shop that much so why am I getting sale alerts every day anyway? What a time waster. And a temptation to spend. No thank you!

I'm also watching what I eat... yeah, I know. It sounds like a "resolution," but it's not. A few weeks ago, I was researching healthy eating and discovered a GREAT website: caloriecount.about.com. I played around on it for a few days, then I realized what a gem it is! It serves as a great weight-loss tool, but its greatest benefit (in my humble opinion) is how it teaches healthy food choices. As I use it, I find myself wanting to get an "A" for the day's nutrition -- and I make healthier choices. Our whole family is benefitting from more balanced meals. It doesn't hurt that as I eat healthier, the muffin top is shrinking! The website works for those trying to build muscle (my teen boys) as well. It also tracks activity. Want to indulge in cheesecake without having it live on your hips? The website suggests things you can do to burn the calories BEFORE you eat them. Really! 

Most importantly, I'm continuing my trek through the Bible. Sure, I only got through the first two books last year, but I learned so much. So here I go.... hoping to finish a few more books this year. We'll see how far I get. My son, who finds the Bible frustrating because he doesn't understand the timeline, is reading a chronological Bible this year. He's finished the first chapter and already finds it enjoyable to read! The more time I spend with God, the better the day seems to be.

2012: a clean slate. What will you do with it?

Lots of love!

Peace at Christmas

I'm having a tough time with Christmas posts this year. I had a plan -- I loved my plan. But life interrupted. Not the fun life of bows, wrapping, songs, baking, movies, playing. Our Christmas was interrupted by real life. Painful lessons we all must learn but no one really wants to go through. What happened isn't really important to this post. (If you're curious, sorry... That is a story for another day.) What we learned from it is priceless.

1. Christmas is NOT about gifts! We spend so much time shopping, paying, wrapping, stressing... over gifts. I'm learning this year how very misguided that really is. What if you had no family to buy gifts for? What if you were all alone this Christmas?

2. Treasure the gift of family! We take each other for granted. We focus on "my" instead of "our" or "you." Am I really going to have to listen to Uncle George's pontifications again? Or deal with Grandma's snide comments all day long? Whatever... is it really so bad to put up with that for one day? Instead of focusing on the one person who drives you crazy, why not take time to look at the blessing of family. What joy have these people brought into your life? How have they put up with you, despite your flaws and imperfections? Be thankful your family loves you in spite of you!

3. Remember the Prince of Peace! Christmas is the celebration of our Savior's birth, but Jesus didn't come down here as a baby and stay that way. He came and grew into a man, to preach and teach -- in word and action -- of God's love, forgiveness, hope and peace. Christmas is simply where the gift begins. Will you receive his gift -- relationship with him that covers all your sin and leads to eternal life?

This Christmas more than any other, Jesus' peace is the gift I most cherish. My heart has been so heavy, but His peace is filling me and comforting me.

Whatever burdens or hurts you carry this Christmas, I pray you will know that Jesus was born for you. He wants to fill your heart with the same peace He's giving me.

For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor,

Mighty God,

Everlasting Father,

Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:6

Doubt

We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us;

we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.

C. S. Lewis

I want obedient kids, without the effort of discipline. I want to fit in my "skinny jeans" without giving up chocolate. Or how about this one: letting go of past hurts to walk in freedom. 

I justify. I rationalize. I twist God's word to fit my circumstances. We can't imagine how forgiving someone who deserves to be hated could possibly be the best for us. Do you know what I mean?

C. S. Lewis possessed the incredible ability to clearly say what we all think.

We know that God has a "good, pleasing and perfect will" for our lives. (Romans 12:2) We want it. God, give me all that good and pleasing stuff your word promises. And give it to me now!

Yet, we seem unwilling to grab the first part of the verse so firmly, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. THEN you will be able to test and approve what God's will is..." (same verse, emphasis mine)

We want everything good now. We don't want to work for it. We certainly don't take time to ask God if the things we want are good, pleasing and perfect. We decide, in our own minds, what that might be and expect God to bless it.

When they don't turn out, we get mad. We blame God. We wonder how He could possibly have forgotten us. Poor God. We ignore him and listen to our feelings to determine what's good. Then, when it doesn't work out, he gets blamed. Unfair! And unbiblical!

You know what I mean?

God doesn't want us to cram him into our lives. He wants us to follow HIS plan for our lives: His good, pleasing and perfect plan. Our fears hold us back. We can't imagine that doing things God's way could possibly be better. We see pain, honesty, vulnerability and run.

Let's look at forgiveness God's way. He says let go of the past. (2 Corinthians 5:17) He says to forgive others, no matter how much they wrong us. (Matt. 18:21-23) But, we can't imagine anything filling the hole that leaves behind. We can't fathom that God could replace the hurt with anything. So we wallow in the pain. We hold on tight, clutching to hurt like a friend. 

Yet, there is no hurt in letting go. God replaces it with peace, hope, fullness, and freedom. Yes, freedom. Jesus wants to carry that pain and get it off our backs. (Galatians 5:1)

C. S. Lewis understood. Our minds fill with doubts. We convince ourselves that God will allow new pain to come in and we hold on to the familiar. 

The holiday season is quickly approaching. Let's transform our minds in Christ and give ourselves (and our family members) a most precious gift: forgiveness. 

Bugs! Bugs! Bugs!

**POST ALERT**

Suffering from a "bug" of my own,

I cannot guarantee that my thoughts are clear.

Hopefully this post will make sense. If not,

pray for me -- or laugh at me -- whichever.

Have a fantastic day!

My dear friend texted yesterday. Her sweet "Bug" who just turned one is sick. You know the sick that little ones get -- so clogged up they breathe loud, so achy that nothing really makes them feel better. Yeah, that. The problem with sick little ones is they can't really explain how they feel or what would help them feel better. Cuddle or no cuddle? Hot or cold? Hungry, thirsty or none of the above? It's a constant guessing game.

So, the texts came... My friend thinks I'm a genius "Dr. Mom." I keep telling her it's just my 38+ years of linear parenting (17 + 14 + 7 = 38 years... No wonder 19 and Counting is such a popular show -- they have more than a century of parenting under their belts! Maybe two centuries!).

Question #1: "Bug's not doing well. Is it normal to get worse before you get better?" I answered with the "look for these signs... otherwise hang in there."

Question #2: "She hates the breathing treatments... Any tricks?" My answer here, "Grin and bear it my friend." (I'm not very helpful am I?)

Question #3: "A friend suggested chicken broth and warm apple juice. Any other ideas?" Here's where the replies start to take on a theme... "Just like you, her appetite drops when she doesn't feel well."

Question #4: "What should I do with her when she's not sleeping? Cuddle? Play? Rock her? Cry it out?" Ohhh, great question... really. My answer, whatever makes her most comfortable. And... crying is unavoidable.

Since I happen to be sick now, too, with Bug's bug.... I shared my symptoms and suggested that she bundle her in winter jammies so she stays warm at night. Mom was surprised at that, until I asked, "Do you feel colder when you're sick?" "Of course," she said, "Common sense."

There's a cool God message in here!

Bug couldn't tell her mommy how she felt, but I could. If I have to be sick, it's nice to know that it helped someone else... even if all I did was cheer and encourage a new, young mom. I'm glad that I was able to help a friend, even from my sick bed. God can use our little things to make a difference for others, if we're willing.

Taking a little time to text back and forth, Bug's mom grew in parenting confidence. Bug's mom is an already amazing mommy, now equipped with a new arsenal of parenting wisdom: Common sense!

This morning, I got a text picture of a happy, smiling Bug...

Sweet Bug, I'm so glad you're feeling better today! 

How did you do?

Hey friends,
People keep asking, "How'd you do Saturday night?" To be honest, I've struggled with the question.

Looking at it as a "job," I did well. I said the words I planned to say. I didn't trip on the stairs, fall, or knock over the podium. I used visual aids without dropping or fumbling them. And I handled the stationary microphone just fine.

But that's not really a good measure of "how'd you do?" The measure of success when sharing Jesus' message actually has nothing to do with me at all. It's all about Him. If I did everything right and no one listened, I'd have to say I was awful. If I did everything right, they listened, and no one's heart changed, I'd say I did awful.

First Corinthians 13:1 says, "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." Did love shine through my message and touch the people's hearts? If the answer to that is "yes," then I did great!


How did I do? Only God really knows. He's the one who can see into people's hearts. He's the one who knows if lives are changed. I can say that I was touched afterward when the emcee said, "I don't know about you but that left tears in my eyes." Did I touch his heart? I think so. A sweet member of that church's congregation took my hand in hers and said, "You know what you said, it goes full circle. Someone did that for me. It's time I go and do that for somebody else." God knows her potential. I pray for her -- and I hope one day to hear how she changes the world by giving back, "paying it forward" so to speak.


Another lady shared that she's going to serve at the iChoose Pregnancy Center. Yippee! She then asked me, "What do you do?" Wow... seriously! I hadn't thought about that question the whole time I prepared the message or gave it. She touched me.


What do I do? Like many of you, I serve faithfully in my church. But, it's not really about who's already in -- the message of salvation and hope needs to reach those who DON'T know it. Another way to ask that question is "Who knows of Jesus' love because of me?" When we got home from the event, I asked my husband that question about me. He seemed surprised. Then he rattled off a bunch of ways that I reach out to people in the community, especially teenagers and Walmart workers (hey, we all need a niche). 


How about you? What do you do? 

• Do you feed the homeless guy on the street corner?
• Do you invite people to church?
• Do you donate clothes to Goodwill? Or volunteer there?
• Do you mentor a kid -- maybe through a program like Big Brothers/Big Sisters?
• Do you give your time? talent? or treasure? to make a difference for God's kingdom here?

How did I do this weekend? Only God knows. I gave Him the best I had to give. When I get to heaven, I sure do hope He says, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." How about you?

If you'd like more inspiration for reaching out to the lost and hurting in love, please check out this blog!

Dory gets it!

Hello my sweet friends,
I've been blessed this week by others' stories and ideas. Maybe I need to be filled and encouraged -- or maybe I'm just blessed to have some really wise friends! Either way....

Here's a great devotional to encourage you, especially if you're facing a long trial or unemployment. The devotional comes through Jeff Kapusta's church in Wilmington, NC. The post is "September 16" (middle column) in this link: Just Keep Swimming. I don't know Ryan, but I sure appreciate his story. I hope you'll be blessed as well.

Let's keep encouraging one another in faith, as Jesus taught us to do.

Have a tremendous weekend, my friends!
Love,

Pass the Baton

This weekend, my husband and I attended leadership training at our church. The recurring theme was "passing the baton." In a relay race, the baton must be passed correctly and safely or the team will be disqualified from the race. I've seen that happen -- even at the Olympics. Highly trained runners missed out on the chance to win the race because they mishandled the pass.

As I listened, I saw again how important it is for me to lead my children well. Every day, I share my values -- whether I speak them or live them. Some days, I speak my values and live the opposite, creating confusion. The Bible warns parents not to "exasperate" our children. (See Ephesians 6:4). Is anything more exasperating than being inconsistent?

I teach my kids to speak respectfully and not yell at each other. Two hours later, I walk in the kitchen to find the milk left on the counter, dirty dishes all over the counter and the garbage can overflowing. I bellow, "Kids. Get. Down. Here. Now." For a good dose of clarity, I lecture for ten minutes about laziness, slovenliness, and selfishness. I dropped the baton.

It's not just about yelling. Have you ever driven carelessly when you're angry -- zigging out of traffic recklessly when you'd never do that calm? Have you ever complained when things aren't going right, blaming others -- maybe your husband who's not even home -- for your miserable situation? Have you ever "quit" -- parenting, homeschooling, cleaning, cooking?

I've done all of the above. More than once. I am not a perfect mom!

Each time, I create confusion, exasperating my kids. Why should I expect them to respect each other when my words don't show respect? Or to stay calm and trust God in crisis if I don't?

What's a mama to do?

We need to realize we are not perfect -- and never will be. Seriously! That perfection pursuit can drive us crazy -- talk about stress! Instead, let's pursue God's grace and forgiveness. And model that for our kids -- asking for their forgiveness when we mess up.

In the Beijing Olympics, the British team was disqualified for mishandling the baton pass. Team members could have "attacked" and blamed. But they didn't. Craig Pickering, whose error disqualified the team, owned his mistake. They moved on.

As a mom, I can think of no better baton to pass -- love and grace that comes from Jesus. Learn to forgive. Seek forgiveness. Learn to let go of mistakes -- those you make and those that others make against you.

I'll never be a perfect mama. But...

I can still pass the baton.

Lightning Strikes!

Hello friends,

Isn't that cool? Our mirror flower!

Crazy 24 hours at the Dawkins house. The remnants of Hurricane Lee finally passed through North Carolina yesterday, no biggie. We had a 45 minute thunderstorm warning and cloudy skies. But just like in life, it's the little thing that tripped us up.

I had just flipped on the Weather Channel to see how much longer we'd have rain (my son still doesn't like to drive in really bad weather -- who really does?). Radar showed that the storm was about to end and then: Ka-BOOM!!!! The house shook and everything got "tingly." The rain was already past! Crazy!

Yep -- the last couple minutes of the storm got us! Thankfully, the damage was minor: a hole in the roof (now tarped), electrical wiring and cable blown to smithereens (but no fire), electrical "stuff" zapped (none of the stuff I want to replace, but none of the big ticket items either -- a nuisance, but not a catastrophe) and our bathroom mirror "baked." (That's actually pretty cool -- apparently the electrical current magnetized the backing and made big brown flowers on the mirror).

It could have been worse. Much, much worse.

As I waited on contractors and insurance adjusters and the pleasant, on-time cable guy today, I had lots of quiet time to think!

It's the little things -- one thought of "I wish my husband was more like...", one look at a pornographic website, one pair of shoes you "just gotta have," or one text while driving -- one small choice that can lead to disaster. One step onto the slippery slope of temptation leads to sin. It doesn't take much to blow the life God's given us into a major disaster.

Thankfully, God's better than any insurance policy (or a really nice, on-time cable guy). God's still there if we mess up. He wants to redeem our lives, set us back on the path He had planned all along. Of course, it looks a little different -- we can't undo the past. My mirror looks a little different too. But, it doesn't mean we can't live in the freedom of God's love.

If you carry guilt about something you have done, please ask God's forgiveness for it -- no matter how great or small. He wants to redeem your life! Check out what His Word says in Ephesians 1:3-10 (MSG):

How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He's the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.

 Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, his blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we're a free people—free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free! He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth.

Just a moment to confess our misdeeds. A moment to accept his love, given freely. A moment to receive that forgiveness. Just a moment -- and He wipes the slate clean. WOW!

In Christian love,

Back to School Prayer: Full Armor of God

Put on the full armor of God 

so you can take your stand against the devil's schemes...

Ephesians 6:11

Another school year is off and running. We sent Nathan off at 6:30 a.m., before the sun arose -- as you can see in the picture! This is it, the last one... SENIOR YEAR! Not only that, we sent him off driving his car (that he paid for himself -- yes I am proud.) I still can't believe that the same smiley faced guy I sent to kindergarten "just yesterday" is almost done.

Here...

was...

Nathan (and his amazing smile)

driving off to his last first day of high school.
There are no pictures of my emotional heart or the lump in my throat.

Don't you love his shirt? He's so funny...

We did not send him off without prayer: For his year, for the first day of school, for wisdom, for his teachers, the bus drivers, the other kids driving to school, for God to shine in him and through him. No way! Each day, we pray with him and for him. Every day of every school year since preschool. The world's tough enough without the full armor of God!

Ellie's first day of FIRST GRADE!
She's wearing the outfit she picked out....
And doesn't leave for school till after the sun wakes up!

Sweet Ellie headed off to first grade, covered with the same prayer. She loves praying for her school, her teachers and her classmates. I love to listen as she asks Jesus to help her remember her "STAR" rules and not make other kids get in trouble. She's getting it... she's a little light in her big class! And she knows that Jesus wants to help her through each day! Training her up... one little step at a time!

Ben and I were busy all day -- enjoying the start of our last homeschooled year together. He officially starts his year Monday. We shopped for and cooked a tremendously awesome dinner to celebrate this monumental day.

Oreo ice cream pie. YUM! 

I battle the feelings inside -- joy for the new year, especially for Ellie. Sadness that this time next year Nathan won't be here. He'll be off to college, embarking on his own adult journey. I pray the lessons we've taught have sunk in well. I pray he is prepared for the future -- to make wise decisions and shine God's light wherever he goes. And I'm thankful -- time with him is not quite over... YET.

I love you, my three sweet kids.

May you always follow God and live for Him!
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Getting organized with meal planning.

But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.

1 Corinthians 14:40

A Star Wars inspired meal: Tie Fighter ties, yoda soda and more.

Dinnertime at our house is often horrible! HORRIBLE! We've endured a long day and we're tired. Everyone's hungry. Tired PLUS hungry often EQUALS grumpy! Sometimes, thos pre-dinner bad attitudes spill over to dinnertime. Grumpy is NOT a pleasing appetizer!

Supper should be our opportunity to "be" a family, all together. It grieves me when this time is spoiled by grumbling! To combat the grumpies, Rob and I are committing to being more organized. Some of you are pros at this: you plan your menus for the week or the month. You prepare in advance. We are not good at that....

So we're taking baby steps. If you find dinner prep and planning stressful, maybe these tips can help you too.

1. Sunday afternoon we take "orders" from the kids (they share their cravings and meal requests) and then sit down for about 20 minutes to plan the week's meals.
2. I record the meals on our calendar (mine's on my computer -- and I attach the URL to any online recipes we plan to use).
3. Rob records the "shopping list" for the week as I read off the recipe.
4. We head out to the grocery store -- often it's Rob and Ellie for some daddy-daughter time!
5. Sunday evening, we prep the food for Monday.

That's it. Just a few simple organized steps offers us a week free of meal-planning stress. Not only that, we are eating healthier and meals get to the table more quickly. Most importantly, grumpy is no longer offered as an appetizer. :)

If you decide to try our "plan," please let me know if it works for you by leaving a comment below. If you have some quick meal-planning tips that we could benefit from, share those too. 

God didn't intend for us to live in chaos! Let's reclaim family dinner -- and the joy that goes with it!

Love,

Reflections on She Speaks

I've been home from the She Speaks conference since Sunday. What did I learn? How did I grow? What was my take-away? Great questions, every one. But I have no answers. Not yet.

You know the story of Jesus with the woman at the well? The Pharisees wanted to condemn her. Jesus said, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." The next verse says, "And he stooped down and wrote on the ground." (John 8:7-8). I've heard this passage in sermons often through the years, always focused on sin and judging others.

This morning, though, I am struck by the last half. "He stooped down and wrote on the ground." He didn't point fingers. He didn't lecture and reprimand. He wasn't hurried or rushed. He stooped down. He wrote. He waited. Patiently. Even though the Pharisees did not deserve his patience. Even though, technically, the woman DID deserve the punishment. He wrote. Patiently.

That image is caught in my head. My Lord, who knows all my faults -- every punishment I deserve and every stone I throw. He waits. Patiently. Until I understand.

Grace. This story -- not even shared at the conference (at least not in any session I attended) -- is my heart's takeaway. My Lord, Jesus, loves me. When I'm casting stones. When I sin. When I doubt. When I procrastinate. When I'm overzealous. He loves me.

Lord Jesus, fill me with your grace. Help me extend grace to others like you did for the woman at the well. Fill me with purpose to reach others with your message of love, grace and forgiveness. In your precious name I pray. Amen

**Maybe someday I'll share specific things I learned. Today, I share my heart.**

Choose Change

Today, I'm guest posting over at Encouragement Cafe. To visit there, click here. But first...

When we moved to North Carolina, I spiraled into the deepest depression I'd ever known. Though I had given up on myself, my husband never gave up on me. He pursued God on both our behalfs. One Sunday, I begged him not to go to church, just to stay home. With me. He stayed. The next week, I went.

The pastor, known since that day as "my" pastor, explained that the church is hope for the hopeless. He challenged them to love with the hands and feet of Jesus. The sweet people of that church, known since that day as "my" church, loved me exactly like that. They reached out.

I reached back.

They dropped a lifeline into my pit.

I grabbed hold and pulled up.

Love's redemption. The broken person comes into the church, gets loved on... and then...

Some grow. Like me. We grab hold of the rope. We choose change. Lives transformed by the love of God.

Some don't grow. The rope hangs down. But the hopeless sit at the bottom of the pit, refusing to grab it. Refusing to choose change. Eventually, they're left in a pit filled with ropes dropped as people tire of holding them out.

That hopeless person asks: "Why am I still here?" "Why am I all alone?" "Why isn't the church helping me?" She never realizes that someone was there -- offering help. Offering hope. She never realizes that she didn't choose change... or that the helpers gave up. Exhausted.

Psalm 18:29 says, "With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall." With help. With God. That's how it works. Not them helping me, but all of us working together. Then, I -- hopeless no more -- can scale a wall.

If you feel like you're all alone, won't you grab hold? Take that rope. Choose change.

• Serve others by joining a ministry team.
• Connect with others through small groups.
• Volunteer at the homeless shelter and give your time to those less fortunate than you.
• Read the Bible (James is a great place to start).
• Pray -- Praise -- Pray.
• Count your blessings, one by one. 

Grab a rope. Get out! It's up to you. Will you choose change?

1 Timothy 4:12 (Part One)

Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young.

Be an example to all believers in what you say,

in the way you live, in your love, your faith and your purity.

1 Timothy 4:12

Nathan, my 17 year old son, had the incredible opportunity to share the large group teaching at our kids’ church camp this week. He spoke eight times, each lesson better than the one before. My heart burst with pride watching him.

It wasn’t really the message he shared that spoke to my heart -- though he did a great job teaching. Behind the scenes is where he really grabbed me. What the camp kids don’t know is that Nathan prepared for two months to do this. We spoke often about how to handle special situations. “Mom, if they get restless, can I do ?” Or, "Mom, is it okay if I explain this idea this way...?"

The kids don’t know how he wrestled in his own walk with the “logic of Jesus.” He went to God -- struggling to “understand” what can only be received in faith: the miracle of Jesus’ birth, death and resurrection. He didn’t back down from the tough stuff, but kept going back to God, back to the Word, and back to leaders he trusts -- asking for their input. But the kids don’t know his battle: they just heard him speak confidently about miraculous faith!

The kids don’t know that after each message he shared he asked, “How did I do?” (Great!!!!) “What could I do better?” Every single time. He wanted to give them the very best -- and each suggestion I offered, he used. He grew as a leader this week, because he chose to serve humbly, respectfully and intentionally. His heart was 100% committed to serving those kids.

I'm leaving for a speaker's conference next Thursday -- to further develop my speaking skills. Hopefully, I'll be as humbly receptive to other peoples' input as Nathan. He sure touched my heart!

Believe it or not, Nathan's choices after camp were even more amazing! Tune in tomorrow to find out what he did! May his example challenge you to look higher and serve with more love than you ever have before.

God bless,

Prayer, Accountability, Answers

Ben at Raven Rock Park earlier this spring

Home schoolers in North Carolina are required to take a standardized end-of-year test to monitor academic achievement. Usually, Ben gets anxious about this test. Most years when the scores come back, he cries in frustration. Not that we push him for certain scores. Never. Rather, we would do everything we could to minimize the significance of the tests.

But, he knew. He knew the reading would be hard. He knew he'd run out of time before completing a section. He knew his spelling and language scores would be nowhere close to his real grade. Spelling is always the worst. Last year, in seventh grade, his spelling scores were about the same as a first grader's. Yep. That's demoralizing. Especially for a kid whose math, science, history and geography scores are always above grade-level.

This year, we worked a little more intentionally on spelling. Still, it wasn't the focus of his education. If we wait for spelling to catch up, his progress in other areas would certainly suffer.

Testing day came, and for the first time, he was relaxed. No stress. No worry.  And this past Friday, the scores arrived in the mail. With great anticipation, we tore open the envelope. I unfolded the score sheet and looked for the one score that always frustrates him.

And there it was: FIFTH GRADE!!! He scored in the 20th percentile of his grade level peers. A huge jump! You'd think he'd won a gold medal in the olympics. High fives. Woops and hollers. A fist pump in the air. And a smile. A wide, radiant, sparkling smile. Ben conquered his nemesis (not that he can spell nemesis... yet).

What changed? In part, Ben is growing up and gaining confidence. He's reading more fluently. But...

The biggest change was prayer. This whole year, the women in my connect group (what we call our Bible study groups at our church) prayed. They prayed faithfully, week after week, month after month, for Ben. For his understanding to increase. For the "wires" in his brain to connect. For the intelligence we know is in there to finally show on the outside. They prayed for confidence, excitement for learning, and self-acceptance. They prayed for me, to teach wisely -- the way God needed me to. They prayed for his testing. And on testing day. They prayed. With us and for us.

We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, 

help the weak, be patient with everyone. See that no one repays evil for evil, 

but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. 

Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; 

for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:14-18

God answered. He helped me become the home schooling mom Ben needed. And He helped Ben grow in confidence and understanding. Thank you, dear ladies, for blessing us with your faithful prayers, living out 1 Thessalonians. Thank you, God, for answering our prayers.