Proverbs 31:13-16, Day 4

She is like the merchant ships, Proverbs 31:14

Women and merchant ships: what could they possibly have in common? Other than being included in this verse, you might think they have nothing in common at all! I know that as I studied and prayed over these words, I struggled. Merchant ships... plural. 

Merchant ships aren't mentioned often in the Bible. Reading commentaries, most scholars interpret this verse fairly literally: The Proverbs 31 woman travels far to provide the best for her family. Could that be all it means? I don't think so. 

The verse says she is like merchant ships, not like a single merchant ship. The Proverbs 31 Woman, like the merchant ships, goes out, but she does not go alone. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." The Proverbs 31 woman does not "go it alone." She works with others to accomplish her goals.

Fast forward to 2012.

Does the modern family work together to accomplish goals? Or do we float through life on isolated ships, each headed in its own direction? Think about it: Both parents work to make ends meet (yes, that may be necessary in this economy, but drifting apart doesn't have to be part of it). Kids participate in sports, clubs and church activities. First, family dinner is sacrificed. Then family game night goes. Quietly, the family's strands unravel; everyone hangs on by a thread. Alone.

Parents complain about hostile teens who hide behind locked bedroom doors and tune them out, literally, by plugging their ears with headphones. Teens complain that parents don't understand -- old, boring, and out of touch. Maybe your kids aren't there yet, but your kids will become teens. And teens have attitudes. Or is that just the reality of modern life?

How can we maintain a close relationship with our kids that survives the teen years?

1. Take a stand!

Joshua 24:15 says, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." As for me and my house! It's not up to you to pray your kids into heaven. You are not their holy spirit. Not at all! When the family, even a family with young kids, serves together, God strengthens the bond. You can:

• Cook dinner for an elderly neighbor.
• Make homemade cards and deliver them to a nursing home.
• Plant flowers at a local school.
• Pick up garbage at the park.
• Serve in your church (my husband, 14-year old, 17-year old and I all serve in the same ministry at our church. It's awesome!).

When the family serves together, God knits their hearts together.

2. Listen!

As kids get older, their thoughts and ideas change. When my oldest was two, he loved construction trucks. When he saw his first road grader, he chattered away, enough that I stopped the car to watch it work. A few years later, he loved Pokemon. You bet I learned the difference between fire, water, electric and grass Pokemon. What mattered to him mattered to me.

Now, his world is complicated: filled with questions of faith, piano, friends, peer pressure, and college applications. But we're going through it together. He knows that no matter what he's thinking, I will listen like I did when he was young.

When parents actively listen to their young kids, they provide a foundation for a strong relationship through the teen years. The teen years are outrageously challenging, even for the "good kids." Listen now and they'll talk to you when they're older.

3. Guide!

Proverbs 19:20 says, "Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise." Now, before you go and plaster this verse all over your kids' bedroom walls, take a minute to let it sink in for you. How well do you listen to advice and accept instruction from your spouse? Your pastor? God? When we don't listen, we become hypocrites, "tossed with tempests." We lose credibility with our kids and the difficult passage through the teen years becomes harrowing. 

Instead of that, the modern Proverbs 31 woman, with Christ as her pilot, faith as her sail, and hope as her anchor, weathers the seas with her family by her side. (Gill)

To go deeper, meditate on these verses:

• Psalm 112:1-2 (ESV), "Praise the Lord! Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in his commandments! His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.
• Proverbs 20:7, "The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them.
• Psalm 37:26, "They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be blessed."

Consider these questions:

How do you show your children that their interests matter to you?

When was the last time you had a family dinner -- that wasn't fast food drive through?

What are some things you did with your family as a child that you wish you did with your own family? 

Pray to God:

Commit to raise your family to love God and share His love with others.

Ask Him to help you see your children the way He does, created with unique interests and passions.

Invite Him to be your pilot, strengthen your faith and fill you with hope for life's journey.

Please let me know how I can pray for you. After you leave a comment, be sure to visit the other bloggers in this series:

13 Bloggers, 13 topics, One Great God.

• Using Skills to Contribute to Family/2 better than 1 

• The Fear of the Lord/ Satisfied by Love

• Using time wisely/Blessed Beyond Measure

• Taking care of needy/ Shadow Wonder

• Using money wisely/Jennifer Sikora 

• Keeping an eye on home/Just a Glimpse

• She can laugh at the days ahead/ Faith Filled Food for Moms

• Clothed in strength and dignity/One thing I’ve Learned

• Taking care of others/ 2 savvy gals

• Being Creative/A Patchwork Mommy

• Bringing Variety to Family/ Karen Dawkins

• Extending your Hand to the Poor/ Women’s Fellowship House

• Organization/Teaching what is Good

Love,