Moments

My kids were running around the back yard together, a 15 year old, 12 year old and 5 year old, enjoying each other on a beautiful evening. Ellie, in her "cowboy boots," shorts and t-shirt, running, giggling and squealing. She cuts right and crosses the endzone with Ben in pursuit. Ben dances into the endzone - though he'd never admit to the lighthearted, playful moment! Nathan, laid back, tossing the football across the yard, waiting for praises for the tight spiral. Playing together! Those are the moments when I wish I could just hit "record" and save it forever in my mind. Or I could take snapshots with my eyes just by thinking it. I love these moments in time, little slices of perfection to top off a great day.

I love my kids!

Heavy Heart

I got sad news from a friend yesterday, and my heart breaks for her family.

I wish she could know that God's got a perfect plan for her - in spite of her apparent circumstances. We can look at our world with our eyes, and think that there is only one solution to our problems - "escape." But, God's plan isn't usually to run away. He encourages us to stand strong, to turn to Him when we think we can't stand, and then to TRUST that He can see us through the storm.

Peter walked on water - when he focused only on Jesus. As soon as he looked at the storm of his life, he failed.

Nehemiah built a wall around an entire city in 52 days - because he followed God and didn't run. He knew people were taunting his efforts, he was under attack from arrows and swords. Neh. 4:14 says, "After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, "Don't be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your people, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes." Nehemiah knew that only God could see them through to the right end.

Ultimately, Jesus hung on a cross, dying for our sins, so that we can have a personal relationship with his father. He didn't run away. Even as the world rejected him, He interceded on our behalf. He wants, more than anything, for us to turn to God when we face challenges too big to handle on our own (most challenges handled correctly are too big to handle ourselves).

This blog isn't meant to make anyone feel good. I hope it's not something you read for enjoyment (though I do hope you "enjoy" it). I pray, from the deepest part of my soul, that my journey will inspire you and challenge you to search for God in the midst of your own journey. Look to God, who promises to make the path straight (Pro. 3:5-6), who promises never to give you more than you can bear (1 Cor. 10:13), and who desires nothing more than to know you, love you, walk with you and carry you through when life gets hard (Rev. 3:20).

Answered Prayer

As our school year began, I honestly was quite nervous about how Ben would do. He has struggled with academics his whole life, not because of smarts, but because he just couldn't read or organize his thoughts. He has struggled some in group situations, with friendships (though God has blessed him with some amazing, non-judgmental, easy-going friends), and with staying the course. I expected to fight with him over the schedule, the amount of work required in "middle school level work," well, with all of it.

And I prayed for Ben - to be strong and courageous, to grow in confidence and ability, to know that no challenge is too big for him.

God answered. "Yes."

I'm sitting here, week two of school, not quite sure what to do with myself. Ben gets up and starts his day. He tackles his work subject by subject, on his own. He has read his own assignments (asking only for occasional explanations in rhetoric), written his own outlines and papers, followed his schedule. I sit. I wait. I wonder when the bottom will fall out.

But God answered. "Yes."

So as I write, I apologize to God. I asked Your help with our school year. I asked You to prepare Ben for the new level of work. I asked You to guide us. I asked You to help him learn to read and gain confidence. I am sorry I doubted You. You love Ben more than I can. Of course, You would prepare him for the challenges in school. Of course You would honor my prayers... It's not like I haven't prayed a long time for these same things. I am sorry for almost missing it. Thank You, Lord, for taking me on this journey with Ben. For using his learning differences to help me grow in patience, gentleness and trust in You. I rejoice that You answer prayer, always at the perfect time, and with the perfect answer. Please help me remember the lessons You are teaching me. And continue to grow Ben in confidence, wisdom and love for You. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen