Enjoy the View

This afternoon, I made the fun choice. My "to do" list this weekend is atrocious. I have more to accomplish in the next 72 hours than I would like, coupled with kids' football games and band shows, and so much else.

I would usually plunge into the work - let's start checking off that list. There's such a sense of accomplishment as the list shrinks and the finished work piles up. (Or in the case of my laundry - disappears).

Typically, my Friday afternoons include time with two adorable little girls, my Ellie and her friend, Darby. They look forward to Friday afternoons: library, playing in the yard, and dress up. Today, the adult me wanted to move forward with my stuff. Let's "get 'er done" as they say in these parts.

Somehow, though, I stepped out of myself enough to notice how much fun the girls were having on the playground at school. Instead of rushing them - my schedule, you know - I chose to sit, relax, and enjoy the view. While the girls squealed and played, I took time to savor God's creation. Fall days are so beautiful. Today, the sun shines in a cloudless, Carolina blue sky, and a crisp, clean fall breeze blows.

Little girls' squeals of delight, God's glorious gift of fall colors, and rest. That's hard to beat.

I understand how the psalmist could be overwhelmed by God's creation:

When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained;
What is man that You take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?

Psalm 8:3-4 (NASB)

Thank you, Lord, for taking the time to create such an intricate perfect world. Thank you for caring about little girls' squeals of delight. Help me remember to stop, rest, and enjoy your creation. Help me not get so consumed by my life that I forget about you. Amen.

Isaiah 55:8: God's Superhighway

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

This verse may offer me more hope than any other verse in the Bible. I read it and the words just wash over me, calming me when I struggle to control the direction of my life.

Maybe you wrestle with God to control the direction of your life, too. When we find ourselves "demanding" that the kids behave, instead of following God's whisper to our hearts, we ignore this verse. When we whine and complain about our work, our spouse, our house, or our circumstances, we take our eyes off God's plan, and focus solely on what we see and understand. It's easy to forget how incredibly great God really is.

In high school, I wanted to be a minister - attending seminary and everything. About the time I would have applied to seminary, I walked into a church and heard 'the minister' tell his church secretary, "Just lock the doors. I'm tired of these bums asking for handouts." Deep inside, I shattered.

If this is ministry, I want nothing to do with it. I changed plans suddenly, pursuing a physical therapy degree. Physical therapists help people, too, just in a different way. The science proved more than I could handle, so I eventually graduated with a social work degree. I went to law school, though I'd never planned to be a lawyer. As I applied, I even told God, "If this is what you want, then you better make it abundantly clear." Soon after, a scholarship offer came. God, not God? I don't know.

For about five years, I prosecuted domestic violence offenders. I gave that job my heart, my mind, and my energy. When my first baby was born, I "retired." I couldn't give the victims of violence the time and focus they deserved and do the same for my baby boy.

Years later, we moved and a found an incredible, life-giving church. My desire for 'ministry work' returned. Pridefully and selfishly, though I didn't understand it at the time, I "worked" for the Lord in the hopes of earning a position on the church staff. (Thankfully, my wise pastor saw through the works to the prideful condition of my heart). Then, something inside me finally changed.

Instead of telling God what I wanted, I asked Him what He wanted. Basically, I prayed Isaiah 55:8 over my life, "God, I want my life to be what you want. I want your thoughts and your ways to be the focus, not my thoughts and my ways. Let me live what you desired for me all along."

God's ways are definitely not our ways. In a traditional 9 to 5 (plus weekends) ministry role, I would not be doing what I now do as a dedicated follower of Christ. Offering my heart to God, I minister meaningfully in my church. Following His dreams for me, I'm involved in my community in ways I wouldn't have considered before. How awesome to live a transparent Christian life (yes, warts included) and share God's hope and love with those who don't yet know Him.

For the first time in my life (it's about time), I don't know what's next. God is taking me on a journey I never would consider on my own, and my heart is full.

As you read this, maybe God is talking to you. Maybe you are doing what you think you should, but you haven't asked God if it's really what he wants for you. Perhaps you struggle with your attitude toward your spouse, your kids, or your job. Ask God how you should handle these problems. Instead of fighting with what you can understand in your own heart and mind, ask Him to take over and see where it leads. Give God a chance to be the big God that He really is.

God, Thank you for having a plan for my life that's bigger than anything I could dream up. When I pull back and try to make my life fit my own thoughts, please remind me that You have something better in store. In advance, I thank you for all You have done and will continue to do. Let my life be what You always wanted it to be. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.

Themes!

My past couple blog entries seem to be following a theme. Hmmm, I wonder if that means God's trying to work on something in me? (Rhetorical question. I know I need work, especially in peace and patience. No amens required!)

Writing on the fruit of the spirit, the message lingers with me. The fruit of the spirit is the evidence of the indwelling holy spirit living in me and through me. Growing closer to God, the holy spirit has more to work with in me. My job is to choose to listen to that spirit... I wish I could say I listen all the time. I'm working on it.

Mother Theresa's message at the National Prayer Breakfast sticks, too. She knew how to live a peace-filled life. She witnessed the dark side of our world. She walked in the dark, with the helpless, loving them in the love of Christ. That's the part that sticks with me: her ability to love. She didn't judge people as evil or ignorant or self-centered. She lived her entire life in love. She loved the unlovable. She even loved those who ignore the unlovable.

So, where does that leave me today? Since posting these entries, I have been attacked in so many ways (none of them really relevant to this blog - just know I've been tested at home, in the community, and in my friendships). I mention peace and all peace seems to disappear.

Perhaps you've noticed that, too. Just when you start to grasp a Biblical truth, it seems everything conspires against you. No matter how much you know the Word of God to be true, you continue to get bombarded by the opposite.

This time around, I choose to focus on the truth. I am being refined for a purpose, all my rough edges getting smoothed. For that I am thankful. With each test, I will make the choice to turn to Jesus and grow closer to Him. The Holy Spirit will fill me up and I will overflow. I'll become more of whom I'm meant to be.

What about you? When the storms of life rage around you, will you turn to God in your time of trouble? Will you whine and complain (maybe even to God) about your circumstances? When life sends you challenges, press closer to the One who can sustain you! This challenge offers you the opportunity to grow!

It's my prayer, for everyone who reads this, and for me, that we will love the world in the love of Jesus. I pray we won't think the world's problems are ours to solve, but that we'll realize Jesus is the answer. I pray we will allow God to use us, our gifts, talents and passions, to make a difference - a God-sized difference - in this world.

I look forward to discovering where this journey is taking us! Peace.