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I've got so many thoughts swirling in my head. My house shows it! As the thoughts swirl, the mess does too.
Today, I'm not going to rush.
Today, I'm not going to try to fix everything.
Today, I'm not going to write the posts that my heart longs to share... someday, maybe, but not today.
Today, I will be quiet. (I hope)
Today, I will listen to what God is whispering.
Today, I will praise Him for all He has done and continues to do.
Today, I am thankful.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Little bit different, Whole lot of loved
Almost fourteen years ago, our second son was born. He stole my heart. I love him still. More, I admire him for his strength, his perseverance, and his sensitivity.
His life has not been easy. My heart has broken for him so many times, watching him fight to be understood. All too often losing the battle. Yet, he never quits. He goes on. He forgives. Often. More easily than I ever could.
When he was a toddler, he threw a lot of tantrums. Exhausting. I couldn't reason with him like I did with his older brother. They kept on, for years. Sometimes, when he's really tired or overwhelmed, he might still have one. Not too often, just enough to remind me that his life isn't easy.
He talked late. He learned his colors late. He learned to read really, really, really, really late. He's still playing catch-up, but that's okay. Sometimes, he gets frustrated with himself because the words don't make sense. He knows they "should." Those days hurt. I wish I could flip a switch or wave a wand to fix it. But, he never quits.
His spelling is atrocious. In fact, "atrocious' won't make his school paper -- there's just no way to figure that one out! English spelling does not make sense -- in case you haven't noticed. Really! Or as he'd write it: Rilly! Now, his little sister -- in kindergarten and seven years younger -- can spell almost as well as he does. But he does not complain. When she demonstrates her spelling skills at dinner, spelling L-O-V-E forward AND backward, he smiles along with us. He's admires her genuinely. He's quite proud of her. Amazingly, he is not jealous.
As hard as the academic challenges are, it's the social battles that break my heart most. People forget that he has an autism spectrum disorder. They judge him based on their expectations of behavior for kids his age. They set a bar so far over his head that he can't win. That stinks!
They don't know that he had to be taught how to read facial expressions. They don't know that he doesn't understand subtle body language. They forget that his brain switches gears slowly. He needs time to adjust. Backyard games, with ever evolving rules, are hard work for him. Exhausting. Frustrating.
I'm not making excuses for him. He needs to learn how to navigate the world. He needs to learn to face disappointment. He needs to learn to control himself. Oh how I wish, though, that people would remember and help him out. He's hyper? That means he's overwhelmed by the social dynamic. He's angry? That means he doesn't understand the rules -- he just can't follow them. He's loud? That means he's nervous and trying to compensate for his insecurity. Throw him a lifeline. Please, don't shut him out. Please.
That's my mama's plea. But I know other parents don't remember. I know the kids don't remember. It's just the way of the world.
Jesus said, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33) My sweet son, and countless others like him, have enough trouble. I pray for peace. For him. And for me.
If you want to learn more about autism spectrum disorders, read this article: Autism Spectrum Disorders.
His life has not been easy. My heart has broken for him so many times, watching him fight to be understood. All too often losing the battle. Yet, he never quits. He goes on. He forgives. Often. More easily than I ever could.
When he was a toddler, he threw a lot of tantrums. Exhausting. I couldn't reason with him like I did with his older brother. They kept on, for years. Sometimes, when he's really tired or overwhelmed, he might still have one. Not too often, just enough to remind me that his life isn't easy.
He talked late. He learned his colors late. He learned to read really, really, really, really late. He's still playing catch-up, but that's okay. Sometimes, he gets frustrated with himself because the words don't make sense. He knows they "should." Those days hurt. I wish I could flip a switch or wave a wand to fix it. But, he never quits.
His spelling is atrocious. In fact, "atrocious' won't make his school paper -- there's just no way to figure that one out! English spelling does not make sense -- in case you haven't noticed. Really! Or as he'd write it: Rilly! Now, his little sister -- in kindergarten and seven years younger -- can spell almost as well as he does. But he does not complain. When she demonstrates her spelling skills at dinner, spelling L-O-V-E forward AND backward, he smiles along with us. He's admires her genuinely. He's quite proud of her. Amazingly, he is not jealous.
As hard as the academic challenges are, it's the social battles that break my heart most. People forget that he has an autism spectrum disorder. They judge him based on their expectations of behavior for kids his age. They set a bar so far over his head that he can't win. That stinks!
They don't know that he had to be taught how to read facial expressions. They don't know that he doesn't understand subtle body language. They forget that his brain switches gears slowly. He needs time to adjust. Backyard games, with ever evolving rules, are hard work for him. Exhausting. Frustrating.
I'm not making excuses for him. He needs to learn how to navigate the world. He needs to learn to face disappointment. He needs to learn to control himself. Oh how I wish, though, that people would remember and help him out. He's hyper? That means he's overwhelmed by the social dynamic. He's angry? That means he doesn't understand the rules -- he just can't follow them. He's loud? That means he's nervous and trying to compensate for his insecurity. Throw him a lifeline. Please, don't shut him out. Please.
That's my mama's plea. But I know other parents don't remember. I know the kids don't remember. It's just the way of the world.
Jesus said, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33) My sweet son, and countless others like him, have enough trouble. I pray for peace. For him. And for me.
If you want to learn more about autism spectrum disorders, read this article: Autism Spectrum Disorders.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Next Gen Prayers
Bloggy friends,
It's Revolution Weekend at our church, a special in-town weekend retreat for our 7th-12th graders. Would you join me in prayer for our students? Specifically, pray for a deeper relationship with Jesus, closer bonds with one another, safety as they serve in the community. Pray for all us grown ups too -- that we can keep up! :)
The weekend launches with a Toby Mac concert, live at our church. Even as I write that I still can't believe Toby Mac will be here! My son attended a music camp a few years ago and Toby shared that music sung for self doesn't glorify God. A musician's purpose is always to draw people closer to God -- sing for God. Play for God. Not for yourself. That's his message (paraphrased). It's all about Jesus.
Saturday our kids will have the chance to live that message out. They will be scrubbing down a local Boys and Girls club. Literally. Cleaning out every closet, cupboard, shelf and locker. It's in an area of our county where more than 90% of the kids receive free or reduced lunches. The students will really be giving some hands-on love to kids they may never meet. Our high school boys will be working at our local men's shelter. This group of homeless people is so often overlooked. How humbling to serve these men. May it touch their hearts.
There's lots of fun, special messages, small group time and food involved too. After all, teens and food go together like the beach and flip flops.
Thank you for your prayers!
It's Revolution Weekend at our church, a special in-town weekend retreat for our 7th-12th graders. Would you join me in prayer for our students? Specifically, pray for a deeper relationship with Jesus, closer bonds with one another, safety as they serve in the community. Pray for all us grown ups too -- that we can keep up! :)
The weekend launches with a Toby Mac concert, live at our church. Even as I write that I still can't believe Toby Mac will be here! My son attended a music camp a few years ago and Toby shared that music sung for self doesn't glorify God. A musician's purpose is always to draw people closer to God -- sing for God. Play for God. Not for yourself. That's his message (paraphrased). It's all about Jesus.
Saturday our kids will have the chance to live that message out. They will be scrubbing down a local Boys and Girls club. Literally. Cleaning out every closet, cupboard, shelf and locker. It's in an area of our county where more than 90% of the kids receive free or reduced lunches. The students will really be giving some hands-on love to kids they may never meet. Our high school boys will be working at our local men's shelter. This group of homeless people is so often overlooked. How humbling to serve these men. May it touch their hearts.
There's lots of fun, special messages, small group time and food involved too. After all, teens and food go together like the beach and flip flops.
Thank you for your prayers!
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