Parenting tip #2

Haggai continues to show me how to be a better parent. Amazing that so much is packed into such a small book!

Today's tip: For children to become who they are meant to be requires persistent encouragement!

Sometimes I am quick to tear my kids down and not so quick to encourage. Correcting the same behavior again and again, growing frustrated when there's a schedule to keep and their behavior isn't moving us in that direction - you know, the stuff of being a kid who has no clue that the adult world has pressures, schedules, commitments - can drive me crazy! I hear myself yelling and know, deep down, that I don't want to be that monster.

Really, I want to show my kids the love of Christ. "May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word." (2 Thess. 2:16-17). I want to "bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." (Eph. 6:4). Yelling, screaming, growing frustrated... not the stuff of the Lord!

Haggai could have grown frustrated with the Jewish people when they didn't rebuild the temple right away. But he didn't. He faithfully spoke the Word of God into Zerubbabel. He encouraged them to finish what they started, the rebuilding of the temple. He encouraged again and again:

Haggai 1:1, "In the second year..., on the first day of the sixth month..."

Haggai 2:1, "In the second year..., on the twenty-first day of the seventh month..."

Haggai 2:10, "In the second year...., on the twenty-fourth day of the ninth month..."

God shows us, through Haggai, how to encourage our kids. Consistently and repeatedly, we should encourage them to make the right choices. We should build them up and not tear them down.

Dear God, Thank you for the message you sent through the prophet Haggai. Thank you for the lessons this little book teaches us as parents. Please forgive me for my impatience with my kids. Help me understand that it takes time and lots of practice for my kids to become who they are meant to be. Please help me be slow to anger and quick to encourage. I praise you for your love and wisdom. In your son's name, Amen

God's Peace

'The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,' says the Lord Almighty. 'And in this place I will grant peace,' declares the Lord Almighty. Haggai 2:9

In my quiet time yesterday, I read the book of Haggai, a whopping two pages long. It's not the book I'd probably venture to on my own. I'm typically drawn to Paul's letters in the New Testament. But I have learned that if God nudges me to Haggai or Zechariah or even Numbers, He has a message for me. Definitely true this time around!

Short history lesson (really, this IS interesting stuff): In 586 B.C., the armies of Babylon destroyed Jerusalem, including the Jewish temple. The Jewish people fled from Jerusalem and were in exile. Fifty years later, in 536 B.C., King Cyrus declared that the Jewish people could return to Jerusalem and rebuild their temple to God. The Jewish people, at first passionate to rebuild their temple, lost focus and became apathetic about it. Opposition to the project, probably disagreements about how to handle some aspects of the job, financial sacrifice and time all wore the people down. (Sound familiar?) The project literally came to a standstill. Finally, God spoke through the prophet, Haggai, to Zerubbabel (nice name), who was the "foreman" of the rebuilding project (See Haggai 1:2). The Jewish people regrouped to finish the temple.

Parents, we face the same challenges raising our kids. Is there a mom out there who hasn't been "nagged to death" by a little one wanting just one more story, a piece of candy, to watch T.V.? Is there a parent to teens who hasn't battled curfew or bedtime or allowance limits? Our kids are in regular opposition to our plans. (Right now, one of mine is staring out the window while the homework stares up at him from the table... I really wish this one would just finish, so we can get on with our day!)

We are the "foremen" of our family project. It's up to parents to push through and see to it that the job of raising great kids gets done properly. We have no time to rest! In Proverbs 1:8, God says, "Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not foresake your mother's teaching." I've often referred my kids to that verse when they resist my instruction, but the verse only applies to our kids when we choose to instruct and teach. The job of parenting won't get done if we're not doing it, just like the temple in Jerusalem would not be rebuilt if the people weren't willing to work.

Kids whine. Kids rebel. Kids get distracted. Parents, we can't get drawn into their battles. We can't throw up our hands and cry, "uncle." When kids lose focus - daily - we must pull them back in and help them refocus on the right priorities. How? Ask God. Where is the rebellion coming from? Is it apathy? Is it boundary testing? Ask God to show you what you really battle, and He will guide you in resolving it.

One great thing about the book of Haggai is it doesn't end just with him telling the people to finish what they started. That's good advice, but most of us know we should finish what we start. The entire second half of Haggai (chapter 2) is a beautiful work of encouragement. "'...Be strong, all you people of the land," declares the Lord, 'and work. For I am with you,' declares the Lord Almighty. '...and my Spirit remains among you. Do not fear.'" (Haggai 2:4-5). Then in verse 9, God encourages the people again: "The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house... And in this place, I will grant peace."

When we want to give up, God is right there, pushing us to finish building His house. Parents, God wants us to raise our kids to know Him, to love Him, and to follow Him. God has plans for our kids that are far greater than the plans He has for us (Haggai 2:9). Don't quit. Finish what you started, trust God's plan for you and your family. Don't let the distractions of work, bills, schedules, menu planning, or housecleaning keep you from that one thing no one else can do but you. Raising your kids, growing them in love for Jesus. And know, that when all is said and done, He will grant peace. Just imagine, all your kids grown, doing God's work in business, medicine, or wherever, and you, knowing they are strong, trusting God with each day. Perfect peace.

Choices

Two of the kids and I just took a quick trip to the beach with my parents. It's nice living close enough to the coast to be able to take little breaks from everyday life. The kids and I (and the grandparents) had a great time, playing in the pool, taking walks, solving puzzles and riding bikes. We even made rubber bouncy balls and goop! Fun and relaxing, a perfect little break from the routine... just what a vacation should be (even a short one).

Driving home, God brought to mind a conversation I had with a friend a few years ago. She had fairly recently been divorced and had taken her kids, along with the grandparents, on their first vacation without dad. She shared how she didn't really enjoy the trip like she wanted, because she felt like everyone could tell she wasn't married anymore. She worried that her kids didn't have a great vacation, since they weren't "really" a family anymore.

I reflected on our similar experiences, both traveling, with kids and grandparents and without husbands. Yet, I had a great time and she did not.

In this life we will face challenges. Paul writes in 2 Tim 3:12, "In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." Many great Bible heroes went through incredibly tough challenges. Imagine being asked to lead an entire nation through the desert for FORTY years. Or Job, enduring hardship after hardship, just because he loved God. The challenges we face today are no less difficult: divorce, gambling, abuse.

As believers, we have a choice. We can focus on the circumstances. Or, we can "rejoice in the Lord, always..." (Phil. 4:4). Choosing to rejoice, we pray for "hope to which [God] has called [us], the riches of his glorious inheritance in his people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe." (Eph. 1:18-19). We don't look at the circumstances around us, but instead focus on God, who helps us "be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." (Rom. 12:12).

Looking back on those vacations, the difference was our security. My friend did not have her husband's love waiting for her at home. I did. The only difference for the Christian, facing challenges in this life, is security. We can be secure in God's love for us, regardless of our situation. We can know that we are not alone and that He will see us through.

Dear Lord, Thank you for loving me. Thank you for sending Your holy spirit to comfort and guide me in difficult times. When I feel alone or afraid, when my circumstances start to overwhelm me, help me remember that You love me. Help me get my eyes off myself and back on You. Use my life to be a light in the darkness. Please be with us when we go through difficult trials, and help us remember that we do not walk alone. Amen.