Setting the Standard

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. 1 Tim 4:12

I've started this entry in my head so many times, and I'm still struggling to find the words to share my heart. Rarely, am I filled with joy, pride, sadness, conviction and anger, all at the same time!

Saturday night, my younger son's football team played their first - and last - playoff game of the season. His team got blown away by their opponents. At halftime, we all knew how it would end. Our guys, good football players with lots of heart, weren't quite up to the challenge their opponent brought.

I'm okay with the outcome. It's part of life - in competition someone always loses. It's even okay - not fun - but okay, that we were blown out. Sometimes that happens.

Here's where it falls apart. The coach, somehow, lost track of who had played and who hadn't. My son, in his final game in this league (he ages out), never got in the game. Not one play. With that, I still am not okay. His coach blew it. He did not do his "job."

Yet, if I share this, focusing on my anger and disappointment, I would detract from the poignant life lesson that I learned (am still learning) from my incredible son.

After the game, our team met at the 50 yard line to debrief. As always, we parents gathered around behind the team to hear what the coaches had to share. I positioned myself in eyesight of my son, expecting to see hurt and disappointment. We made eye contact, and I mouthed, "Are you okay?" He held my gaze (which he wouldn't do if he was super-angry), smiled slightly and mouthed back, "yes." Not what I expected...

After the team meeting, my husband and the coach spoke briefly. The coach said he thought he had played all the second year players, kind of passing the blame to the defensive coaches for not letting him know. He apologized to my husband, and we asked him to apologize to our son.

My son, regardless of whether he receives an apology, will be fine. As we walked off the field Saturday night, we asked how he was doing. He replied, "You mean because I didn't play?" Of course, dear boy. "Coach made a mistake. Whether I played or not, we would have lost. I had a great season and that's what matters." Whoa.

"We saw you trying to keep your teammates in the game." (If I could insert video, you would see a young man walking the sidelines cheering on his teammates through the entire game. He got in everyone's face and did all he could to keep the fight going). His reply, "We knew we were going to lose. If we didn't give up, we could lose by less than we did last year."

He adjusted the goal for his team. I think, for the most part, it worked. They sure fought to the end. He really was fine.

As I tucked him in bed that night, I checked one more time. "Are you sure you're okay with how the game went?"

"Mom," he answered in the most calm, quiet, sincere voice you can imagine, "I made my first solo tackle this season. I learned how to read the offense. I learned how to lead my team on the field (he was always adjusting the defensive backfield based on the offensive lineup - and almost always correct in the call). I got to play football."

Tears in my eyes as I type this... My little boy has become a young man. He understands better than I do that life is not about the disappointments. It's about the opportunities.

He got to play football.

Enjoy the View

This afternoon, I made the fun choice. My "to do" list this weekend is atrocious. I have more to accomplish in the next 72 hours than I would like, coupled with kids' football games and band shows, and so much else.

I would usually plunge into the work - let's start checking off that list. There's such a sense of accomplishment as the list shrinks and the finished work piles up. (Or in the case of my laundry - disappears).

Typically, my Friday afternoons include time with two adorable little girls, my Ellie and her friend, Darby. They look forward to Friday afternoons: library, playing in the yard, and dress up. Today, the adult me wanted to move forward with my stuff. Let's "get 'er done" as they say in these parts.

Somehow, though, I stepped out of myself enough to notice how much fun the girls were having on the playground at school. Instead of rushing them - my schedule, you know - I chose to sit, relax, and enjoy the view. While the girls squealed and played, I took time to savor God's creation. Fall days are so beautiful. Today, the sun shines in a cloudless, Carolina blue sky, and a crisp, clean fall breeze blows.

Little girls' squeals of delight, God's glorious gift of fall colors, and rest. That's hard to beat.

I understand how the psalmist could be overwhelmed by God's creation:

When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained;
What is man that You take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?

Psalm 8:3-4 (NASB)

Thank you, Lord, for taking the time to create such an intricate perfect world. Thank you for caring about little girls' squeals of delight. Help me remember to stop, rest, and enjoy your creation. Help me not get so consumed by my life that I forget about you. Amen.

Isaiah 55:8: God's Superhighway

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

This verse may offer me more hope than any other verse in the Bible. I read it and the words just wash over me, calming me when I struggle to control the direction of my life.

Maybe you wrestle with God to control the direction of your life, too. When we find ourselves "demanding" that the kids behave, instead of following God's whisper to our hearts, we ignore this verse. When we whine and complain about our work, our spouse, our house, or our circumstances, we take our eyes off God's plan, and focus solely on what we see and understand. It's easy to forget how incredibly great God really is.

In high school, I wanted to be a minister - attending seminary and everything. About the time I would have applied to seminary, I walked into a church and heard 'the minister' tell his church secretary, "Just lock the doors. I'm tired of these bums asking for handouts." Deep inside, I shattered.

If this is ministry, I want nothing to do with it. I changed plans suddenly, pursuing a physical therapy degree. Physical therapists help people, too, just in a different way. The science proved more than I could handle, so I eventually graduated with a social work degree. I went to law school, though I'd never planned to be a lawyer. As I applied, I even told God, "If this is what you want, then you better make it abundantly clear." Soon after, a scholarship offer came. God, not God? I don't know.

For about five years, I prosecuted domestic violence offenders. I gave that job my heart, my mind, and my energy. When my first baby was born, I "retired." I couldn't give the victims of violence the time and focus they deserved and do the same for my baby boy.

Years later, we moved and a found an incredible, life-giving church. My desire for 'ministry work' returned. Pridefully and selfishly, though I didn't understand it at the time, I "worked" for the Lord in the hopes of earning a position on the church staff. (Thankfully, my wise pastor saw through the works to the prideful condition of my heart). Then, something inside me finally changed.

Instead of telling God what I wanted, I asked Him what He wanted. Basically, I prayed Isaiah 55:8 over my life, "God, I want my life to be what you want. I want your thoughts and your ways to be the focus, not my thoughts and my ways. Let me live what you desired for me all along."

God's ways are definitely not our ways. In a traditional 9 to 5 (plus weekends) ministry role, I would not be doing what I now do as a dedicated follower of Christ. Offering my heart to God, I minister meaningfully in my church. Following His dreams for me, I'm involved in my community in ways I wouldn't have considered before. How awesome to live a transparent Christian life (yes, warts included) and share God's hope and love with those who don't yet know Him.

For the first time in my life (it's about time), I don't know what's next. God is taking me on a journey I never would consider on my own, and my heart is full.

As you read this, maybe God is talking to you. Maybe you are doing what you think you should, but you haven't asked God if it's really what he wants for you. Perhaps you struggle with your attitude toward your spouse, your kids, or your job. Ask God how you should handle these problems. Instead of fighting with what you can understand in your own heart and mind, ask Him to take over and see where it leads. Give God a chance to be the big God that He really is.

God, Thank you for having a plan for my life that's bigger than anything I could dream up. When I pull back and try to make my life fit my own thoughts, please remind me that You have something better in store. In advance, I thank you for all You have done and will continue to do. Let my life be what You always wanted it to be. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.